Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

poetry

Are you the dream I dreamed?
Are you the prince that came
sweeping me off my feet
with a smile and a laugh?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
in a far off land
close by love?
Was it a love that would never end?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
both with my eyes closed?
Was the laughter real
and the looks meant
to penetrate my soul?

If you are the dream I dream
the prince I wished for
and my ideal
please let me know.
Show me how to start,
before your solid form
turns into a memory.

Brain melt (poem)

writing

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
Driving to work
and working all day
has melted the things
that use to be in my head.

My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
I think I can feel
the goo dripping out.

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
And now I think
I have said too much.

 

DreamWard Bound as of September 27, 2014

success

It may be because I just was at the gym for 1 1/2 hours, but I am really feeling great. I feel accomplished this week, like the sun is shining brighter and my main future goals are achievable. Plus I don’t feel like I want to just rush through this post this week, like I sometimes do. Some weeks I just don’t want to admit I could have done more or I am not focused on my goals.

I posted my goals next to my desk this week, so that I can actually see them and be reminded of where I am and what I want to do.  I really feel smart about how I did them. I numbered them and wrote what class or level of importance they are in. I also gave each goal a title, so that at a quick glance I can be reminded of the goals. I am also happy, because on those 3×5 cards I wrote how often I will reevaluate them. They have been really helpful for me this week and with writing this post I can just go down the list and write about each goal.

Let’s start with goal 1A which is reading the Bible in a year. I did not do well with this one. I actually did not do anything with it. I wanted to, but I have fallen behind, so I’m a bit discouraged. I do have today and tomorrow to catch back up or at the very least see how much I can read in two days. Maybe I will even read more than intended and get further ahead.

Goal 2A is my family goal and although I have talked a bit to some of I have not talked or texted all of them. The week is not over though and I am planning on communicating with the ones that I have not.

The next goal, 3A, is my weight loss goal. I am very happy about this. After a week of almost only cardio work-outs and counting calories I am happy to announce that I have finally started to lose weight. I lost 3 lb.s this week. It may not seem like a lot to some and over all it is only 1/10th of what I want to lose, but it is a start. I am finally losing the weight that I want to lose. That may be why I am so willing to share all my goals this week, because I am finally seeing progress in one that I had not yet seen any progress in.

The last A class goal is my  Goal Getters goal. I did post Step 1 video. I noticed that I now have 2 subscribers to my new channel, which I did not expect. I thought it would take longer to get any type of notice. I also have all 7 steps recorded along with some tip videos recorded. I am really excited about this new adventure.

Now on to my B class goals. 1B or my #5 is writing my poems. I labeled it my poem goal, but my reasoning and thoughts behind it does not limit it to just poems. I want to grow my writing skills and poetic voice. Since I believe you can you poetry in any type of writing I have realized that anything really can be poetry. This being said this goal was met. I wanted to write 5 creative writing posts, with poetry in them every week. I have written and posted this week’s five earlier in the week and there will be a list at the end of this post.

My next goal is my acting goal. I have only thought about this one. I do have a monologue picked out. I have written it out and read it over a couple of times, but have not practiced it yet. I will be doing that later in the day. It is not exactly the best monologue for me and is far less bubbly than my ideal. Still it is a good monologue for an actress around my age. I just want to find more modern monologues in the future.

This next goal is the start of my C class goals. The first one is my painting goal. I want to paint for 2 hrs every other week. I wish I could afford to paint for longer or more often, but with every other goal that I have this one is taking the back seat. It does help me relax and is therapy for me, but it is not my main focus. This is the week that I will be painting. I plan to paint tomorrow after I hit the gym. It will nice to paint for the first time since the move. It seems crazy that I have been in this house for almost two months and have not yet painted. I am looking forward to doing so on my roof.

My last goal, is one that I will be moving up at some point. Maybe I will move it up when I finally lose all the weight I want to lose, or maybe if I finish saying all I have to say about goal achieving. Right now though my last goal is my novel. I am trying to get through my second draft by May 3rd and so far I only have notes on three chapters. I did not do anything with it this week, but that is not to say that I won’t work on it next week. I just hope my life doesn’t get in the way of editing this novel. It is my last goal, which means that it gets pushed aside first. One day I will finish it though.

That finishes off what happened with my goals this week. I want to tell you more and continue writing, but now I can only think about my goals. I guess they are really my main focus of my week. I did hang out with friends two nights this week and went to work every day. I even started to do the work that my new position calls for.

I guess the only thing left to do is give you the list of things I did this week.

Step 1 (Goal Getters video) 

Talking to My Gym

Sleep (A Poem)

Double sided 

A Poem About Zucchini Bread

Free Lobster

 

 

 

Talking To My Gym

I may be doing random topic  writings lately. I am enjoying writing them and I hope you enjoy reading them. I find it  a fun challenge to write the ordinary in a poetic way or not typical ways. 

writing

Hello, it’s me again. I was pushed by my goals to come and see you again. Let us get this straight I did not want to see you; I did not want to be here. Still here I am. I am walking in pass these glass doors. Before I start I do want to tell you I am drained, tired and it has been a long day. I am not sure how long I will stay or how exciting this visit may be. Maybe I should just turn away and go back home.

No, I will stay. You’re right I need this and I will feel better once I get started. So, here I go. I am starting this thing, called a work-out. I am moving my body that has been locked behind a desk all day.  I’m not going to think about that. I want to think about something else, something better. I know I will make up a story that is only for me about my future adventures that I may have at some point.

Okay, now I am feeling better. Now, that I have started to move and be active, now I feel alive. I am awake and I think I will be able to stay longer. Yes, I am going to stay longer. I am going to push myself. I may fall asleep as soon as I get home, but I will push myself.

I am starting to feel the sweat come on as I start to enjoy being here. This is starting to feel good, like I am really trying. I think I am making a difference with my health. This is great and I am not even paying attention to the time any more. How long have I been on this machine? The machine says half an hour. I guess I should go stretch.

Stretching feels so good. I have been so tight for being stationary for most of the day. It’s nice to pull my muscles at least for a few minutes.

Right, the stretching is done, so it’s back on to the cardio area. I think I will go on a new machine. I want variety, plus I am paying for all these machines. I should get my money’s worth, right? Alright I have not done this lateral moving one in a while.

Let’s see how does this one work? I want the fat burning work-out. Age, weight, wait is that weight again? No, I did something wrong. Age, oh it was target heart rate, now the weight. Alright I am ready to go. No, how do I change the difficulty? I can’t change the resistance I guess. I’ll just start pushing buttons as I work out and see what happens. Nope that mode will kill me. I’m not even going to try that. How about this last one? Yes, it will work, I guess.

Doo de doo now it’s back to my daydreaming, while I do this. Okay, it may be getting easier. Oh, it is and that is because I am going slower. I see the slower I go the easier it is. I am going to push myself. Let’s see how fast I can go. I am going to try to keep this crazy fast pace for five minutes, okay maybe 3. I can do 3 minutes at maximum. I will do this. I will do 3 minutes at maximum. I can’t do it. I want to stop, but I won’t. For some reason being with you makes it harder to take it easy, so I will push myself. I will get to 3 minutes. I am almost there and it’s getting closer. There I did it.

That actually feels great. After a short break at a slower pace I am going to do that again. You know what, maybe you are alright. I don’t know why I hate you so much when I am not around you. I really do enjoy this time here.  Oh, I am almost done with my work-out. I’ll push myself again. I will go as fast as I can. I won’t give up. I can’t give up. Here we go. I can do this. I will finish this work out strong. I am almost there. I will go out strong and I did finish. Great, I feel great. I am really sweat and gross, but I just kicked my butt.

Thank you for being here. I will be back in a day or two. Next time I will try not to be so against you. I know you are here for my health and that is just awesome. I really am happy that you are around. I feel great now and I somehow have more energy.

Let me know what you think of this post. I  am not even sure what category it should go in, but I like writing it.

Sleep (Tetractys Poem)

poetry

Tetractys 

Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count. Tetractys can also bereversed and written 10, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Double Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

Triple Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 10

and so on.

Sleep
is good.
I love sleep.
It calls to me,
When the day is over sleep comes near.
I wish sleep would last longer than the night,
but it can not.
so I dream
of great
sleep.

 

Double sided (Poem like writing)

writing

Do you ever feel your other side; the side that you try to hide? Do you ever try to push it down lower, because that is not the side you want shown? Do you ever wish to get rid of the part of you that should not have any part of you? And do you feel like that side, that part, could create a whole other you?

I once wrote, “I am Jekyll, but there is a Hyde.” I thought I got rid of that side, but in fact it just ran to hide. You see I am me and who I want to be. I am happy to love and love to be happy. I wish to be the sunshine in anyone’s day and want to try to see a smile on another person’s face. I am Jekyll but there is a Hyde, who hides.

She comes creeping out when I forget that she exists. When the sun is shining and my heart is filled she comes out to remind me of all the things that went wrong, scratching at the surface of my pain and playing with my fears. Reminding me with daydreams of the perfect man and the future that may never be. Wanting me to take an easier way with wider possibilities.

She forces me to look deep inside of me into the dark places that I have forgotten about, but where she lives. Like a vampire this other part of my sucks my joy and my identity away, trying to make me keep her out. She wants to play. She wants to drag others down with her, so that she can say that every one is sad and no one wants to be around.

I turn away from this darker side of me. She is not who I want to be. I do not want to worry about a future that may never be or focus on the fears that only scare. I do not want to work for nothing and live a zombie like life. No I want to be the happy version of me. The version that hears the laughter of friends and the love of family. I want to be the one striving and working towards my goals, not just sitting wasting my life.

The question remains. Do you ever feel your other side; the side that you try to hide? Do you ever try to push it down lower, because that is not the side you want shown? Do you ever wish to get rid of the part of you that should not have any part of you? And do you feel like that side, that part, could create a whole other you? I do.

A Poem about Zucchini Bread

poetry

If your eyes are the windows to your soul
than let me look upon a warm loaf.
If poetry is the doorway
than surely there should be a poem
written to the food that warms it.

I heard a poem spoken
about peach cobbler
and how to make it.
I have heard a poem
about the houses lived in.
But there is no poem
about Zucchini bread
so I will write it.

Where to start
we go so far back.
This almost miracle
delicious in my mouth
reminding me of childhood
reminding me of family
and reminding me of love.

We share the time it takes
and we share the bread we make.
Some families have old traditions
spanning generations
going back as far as their own family’s creation.
My family has Zucchini bread,
the wonderfully green mixture before it’s baked,
the sweet smell that tells you it’s ready,
and the thick, warm taste when it’s cooled just enough.

It is always a happy time when this bread is cooking
the smell alone is enough to put a smile on your face
and love deep in your heart.
The smiles that dance on the faces in the kitchen
and the laughter that steams from creating this masterpiece.
Yes, other families have their traditions
and their memories;
we have our own
and I know I would rather taste ours
than yours.

So, here is to the flour on the floor,
the green goop on the counters
and the love in the bellies.
Here is to the freezers filled
the gifts created from joy
and the memories made.
Here is to the Zucchini bread
that I love to make
and love to eat.

 I feel like this is a bunch of different poems wrapped into one, but I think it works. Zucchini bread is my favorite food, so it should have more than one poem written. Let’s just say this is multiple poems written to blend together or something like that.

Free Lobster (A short Story)

writing

You woke up tired with a headache. Yes, it is ten in the morning, but you don’t want to get out of bed. It is cloudy, cold, and sad outside your bed. You stay in bed there for a bit longer which grows into another hour in bed. That is when you drag yourself out of bed, slowly make it down to your kitchen. The  coffee pot fights with you and the pancakes you are making take longer than you want. Once your meal is ready you watch one of your favorite television shows even though you know you have things to do. You tell your self, “It’s Saturday, it is okay to relax.”  The show ends and you now have to rush to get ready.

It’s ten minutes after noon and you are out the door. You drive towards the beach and hope that there is a fire pit available, since your friend has told you to be there before noon to get the fire pit. You arrive at the beach and smile. There is one pit left. You did not fail and even had a nice morning.

You walk the long beach to the one pit without the clutter of people and their things. It is not until you are near it that you see why it is abandoned without a person to claim it. Sand from the beach was piled into it until the sand created a table top. There was no room for fire or anything else besides the sand.

Now, do you sit and claim the pit no one wanted or take your chance that some one will leave by the time your church has its gathering.  You decide to stay and ask a friend to bring a shovel. You then ask another and another,  until someone finally has a shovel in a town where hardly anyone uses a shovel.

Once you have a plan you sit and relax.You take out your kindle to read a book. That is when you realize you kindle only has 20 percent of its battery left. You read the book trying to ignore the fact that the battery is draining. It drains fast and soon the computerized voice tells you so. You read on hoping to get farther in the book that you are just now getting attached to. Finally the battery is too far into the red for your liking so you turn it off.

As the wind blows and you start to get chilled. You are now thankful that you have a pair of leggings to go under your skirt and a cardigan to go over your tank top. As you wrap your self up a young lady walks over with a shovel in her hand. She tells you that you can use the shovel to which you respond with a grateful, “Thank you,” as your leg gets stuck in your legging and you fall over. With a smile you accept the shovel and start to dig out the fire pit.  It does not take long before a fire get fit.

After returning the shovel you sit and wait. You look at your phone to see what is going on in the world and see that you still have hours before the person with the wood will show up and another hour before the fire is supposed to actually start. There is a notebook and Bible in your duffle bag.

The  notebook is what is taken from your bag, but nothing besides a few lines in the shape of the beach’s life guard station is drawn on the pages. Not a single word is written before you put it back in the yellow and blue plaid duffle bag.

There is more waiting and people watching. A few people ask you, “Are you saving the fire pit?” They ask as if there would be another reason your blue sheet is stretched out next to the fire pit in question. A woman looking for a pit for a sixteen year old’s birthday party comes by, but their gathering is happening at the same time and with a large amount of people. Still more people ask you if you are saving the pit that should be obvious that you are saving and that you dug out.

Around three o’clock an older gentleman who looks as if he tries to stay healthy walks over. “Is there anyway we can share this pit?”

You tell him something along the lines that it may be possible and the two of you start to figure out if it actually is. Once it is decided that your parties will not clash it is decided that you will share the pit that you have saved for almost 3 hours with this doctor man. That is when he tells you that he will share his meal with you. For a moment you want to tell him it’s not necessary, but before you can he tells you what he is cooking. He and his doctor friends bought lobster, red beautiful lobster. The seafood that belongs to the other coast. The shellfish that your home has, the delicious food that you have not had in the shell for a long time.

He then leaves to get his things and your roommate shows up. She talks about her day and you tell her about what just happened. The guy comes back and you talk to him a little but mostly focus on the roommate that has joined you.

More doctors and their spouses come trickling towards the fire. Soon their fire is going and they are finding amusement in cooking their lobster. You do not want to intrude, so you talk and focus on your roommate and her friend that shows up.

Your roommate does not stay for too long though. She needs to eat something, so once the lobster is almost done she leaves. You are than called over to be one of the first to enjoy the amazing food that they prepared.  One man, that is about your age, so around late twenties or early thirties  asks you if you need help as you crack the arms off and dislocate the tail for the head. You both smile as he realizes you know what you are doing. Still you let him help you cut the shell. The other cut the shells off the other lobsters which seems so foreign to you. What about the crackers that squeezes the  shell until it breaks?

You figure they had their way of doing it and you had your way. Everyone is enjoying themselves and you are having free lobster with good people. No matter what happens from that point on, you had free lobster because you shared what you could.

 

This is a true story about my last Saturday.

DreamWard Bound (September 13th to 20th)

success

I am realizing more and more that there are no normal weeks. I feel like every week is different from the one before it. I am always changing and always learning. It seems that in life’s journey you are always tweaking what you are doing, so that you can do it better.

Now, that I got that bit of philosophy out I will tell you what I actually did this week. Hopefully I will stay on topic, since I am pretty tired.

Monday was a real great day. I got home earlier than normal, went to the gym, wrote some poems and edited a video for my new channel. I also posted that video onto said channel.

Tuesday was a friend hang out night, so I skipped the gym and the work. Instead I hung out with my friends and even cuddled with the baby in the group. To clarify, he is an actual baby, who is the son of one of my friends.

Wednesday was another gym day with a more relaxed writing/ work schedule. I had a late dinner thanks to my roommate, who actually made it. I was just going to go with canned soup, but instead I got an amazing meal.

On Thursday my focus was on acting, since I had my improv group, which I actually led this week. It was a crazy day at work and had to rush to the group, but I went and did some improv. After it was over though, I had no energy for anything else, so went to bed early.

Friday I got my nerd on and played Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. I stayed later and had fun relaxing. There was not much to tell from that night though.

Now, I wrote most of this post early because I thought I would have time to finish it up on Saturday. I was going to wake up early and write, but since I was up so late I slept in. I wound up waking up and going straight to the beach. I was in charge of holding a fire pit for my church. I almost finished this before going, thankfully wanting to get there before all the pits were taken won out. When I got there only one fire pit remained. I even got asked multiple times if it was taken for the entire day. Two people asked if they  could share, but with the group size and timing the first one could not. The second group was able to share though and I got a free lobster out of it. I will explain more about that in a short story later in the week.

The holding the fire pit for the entire day is why I am a day late. Still, I am keeping you up to date and writing you this post. I hope you enjoy it. Here is a list of things  I did this week.

Introduction To Goal Getters (A video)

Greek Yogurt (A Poem)

The Sun is Shining (A Poem)

World Away (A Letter)

 

Greek Yogurt (A Poem)

poetry

Yes, a poem about Greek yogurt.
A delicious poem
filled with memories
and thick creamy goodness.

This is a poem of love
that sticks on your tongue
slow dissolving, but never forgotten.

A poem about the lasting taste of honey
and a hug of comfort.
Healthy because of it’s favor
and wonderful because of it’s flavor.

Scoop me out some of this poem
so that I can remember,
the times when it was just a food
and the times when it was more.
Give me the reminder of a helping hand
and moments with my friend.

Yes, this is a poem about Greek yogurt
which fills me with joy
and sticks to my spoon.
It reminds me of a far away life
and makes me happy where I am now in life.
Yes, this thick and creamy
delicious and dreamy
healthy wonderful, some times a snack
other times a meal,
memory inducing and always honey filled
food is a poem in my heart.

I hope you smiled because of this. I did when I was writing it.Â