I Am A Soggy Bagel

bagel (2)

Today I got dressed up. I felt like I needed to look good. I wanted to take extra time for myself, so in the morning I woke up early. I put on my new cream cheese spread and wore heels. I even did my make-up. I was looking amazing if I do say so myself.

I started my car and went to work. I was on the highway when it started to rain and then I got a flat tire. I pulled over to change the tire. As soon as my car was safely on the side of the highway the clouds fully opened up. Have you ever seen a bagel in high heels changing a tire when it was raining buckets? I am sure I was amusing the drivers with all four tires intact that drove by. I just know it was not fun changing that tire and I was almost instantly soggy. After a few nice people did stop to help I finally had my tire changed to the spare.

I stopped, soaking wet, at a tire store. They changed the spare out for a new regular tire and I was off to work, again. The only real different was that I was no longer fancy or looking amazing. I was simply a soggy bagel in heels.

Could Be ( A Poem)

poetry
This could be amazing;
ride upon unicorns
over sparkling rainbows
while bards play magical melodies
and wild nymphs dance on trees
amazing.
Others may spring into light
out of sheer joy.
This could bring delightful dancing doggies
or curiously cute cats,
wonders upon wonders could be brought.

On the other hand
if you flip the tape,
reverse my hopes,
show my fears.

This could be terrible,
rotted death could ooze out its orifices
like black tar filled humiliation
and the sulfur smell of dying dreams
those that were crushed by failure,
which would cause a dank cave
to become a bare home for my soul
with only swollen sadness
to guide my lonely days.

There is a burning flame
a flickering fire inside
that holds to the unicorn
almost seeing the sparkling rainbow
and knows
even if dying dreams are crushed by failure
new one will arise
out of the dream pulp
or ashes of failure.
The phoenix that is my heart
will go on
will create.

More DreamWard Bound Means More Work

success

I was going to go to BJJ training today. I started to wake up early enough. I actually thought I didn’t turn on my alarm, because it seemed later than it was. I wanted to go, too. I need to get back into a routine with training. It would have been really great to move my body and feel great about myself. However, Saturdays are my only day I get sleep in and relax in the morning. I also realized I have a full 8 hour day of editing, writing, and producing, well setting up the first things for my production company.

This work is good. I am actually taking major steps towards my dreams. I can see things coming together. Really, it is the beginning of things coming together. I am still far away from every real dream I have. And, it is also a lot of work to get to my dreams. I just have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it. 8 hrs of work on Saturdays, weeknight work sessions, commuting to my day job, and working 8 hrs at my day job will be worth living my dreams.

I also have made a decision to start researching different hosting platforms and ad services. This way I can actually make profit with this site in hopes that I can partly support myself with this site. I am also looking into creating an online store on this site, so that you can buy my artwork easily. Basically, I am looking for different income revenues in order that I can free up my time to do more creative things. Freedom seems a long way away. Still, success is made up of little steps in the right direction.

Yes, I have a lot of work ahead of me and I am procrastinating by looking around the internet. I mean, I have looked for YouTube videos about the top hosting companies and microphones for better sound quality in my videos. I have also been looking at my Facebook and Twitter to see if there is any new interactions and talking with an actor friend. It’s not like I went around looking at cat pictures or goofy videos. Still, I do need to get to work on editing, writing, and producing.

I’m going to go do that now. Here is some other stuff that I did this week.

Pain (a Poem)

Let Me Live (A Poem)

I Am A Hurt Bagel

Writing Prompts

Pain

poetry
First you whisper,
then you walk close.
You talk,
telling me to focus
or maybe it was ‘relax’.
Either way you came
to distract,
although my aim was to ignore
and ignore I did
until the training was brought to its end.

You allowed me to ignore you,
but you were patiently waiting
gathering information for the fight.
You calmly waited
until I was alone.
I was still.
Then you erupted
with a thunderous shout
because I did not move
not how you wanted.
The movement caused you to no longer be ignored
my attention was yours.
As I relaxed you were in the way.
As I lay in bed you preventing sleep.
As I ate breakfast you interrupted.

Thankfully I could dig in my bag
to find earmuffs to your nice
and swallowed them down.
Then heated a towel
to sooth what was left,
eventually freezing you out after.
More ear muffs,
more heat, more cold
and then life was possible.

Let Me Live (A Poem)

poetry
Let me live among the stars
Allow me to dance a jazz-square
on the moon.
If not teach me
how to trap my dreams in reality.

I will soar high
above my common life
living in the clouds of my desire
then like gravity
you pull be back
to where I sit.

Let me fly.
Let me soar.
Let me live,
even for a moment more.

Instead you pull me
chain me
and remind me of my fears.
Road blocks are made
while obstacles rise
like you forget what’s inside.

My heart will soar
I will fly.
You may be helpful
reminding me of reality
but my dear mind
you know my heart and my soul.
They will win.
I will live among the stars
and dance on the moon,
so please just step aside.

I Am A Hurt Bagel

bagel (2)

The other day I woke up and my body was a bit stale. I thought nothing of it until later in the day. I started to workout with Baguette. I stretched and then ran. I was fine until we started to do the floor exercises. I should restate that. It was not until I tried to do the floor exercises that I started to feel real pain. I was falling ungracefully as Baguette showed me what to do. Yes, she did the floor exercises and I flopped around. I wound up getting unnaturally twisted up and my staleness turned into real pain. It was so bad that I could not fall asleep that night.

Thankfully us Bagels heal fast with a little wet heat. I was back to my non-exercising self within a day.

 

 

Successful Week for Being DreamWard Bound

success

This week, like last week, was a successful week for my dreams and goals. It was not so great for my body and pain level, since on Monday I hurt my neck rolling backwards at Jiu-Jitsu. I wound up pulling or straining it and had to take Tuesday off of work because I couldn’t really drive and did not sleep at all Monday night. I figured since I was almost in tears when I called up my carpool buddy to see what he thought about the traffic, I thought getting through the day at work might cause at least uncomfortable moments. Wednesday my neck was feeling better and now it’s almost all healed.

That is about my physical life though and I am more excited about my goal life. Things seem to really be coming together. I am working on a cover design for my Poetry book and even came up with a title. I also have the outline and rough draft for my kids book done. Finally, my web-series is coming along. I have a cast of four (with myself included) and would like one more person. The good thing is that I have decided on what they are meeting for, the way the new shy girl fits in, the characters names, and how many episodes will be in a season. In addition to all that, I have decided on the name of the production company it will be under. I will be starting Bagel’s Film Productions.

I was also able to publish four posts. These were all written after I got home from vacation, which is another positive thing.  I also recorded two improv videos, but haven’t uploaded them. I will be publishing one of them today, after I finish this.

I will also be editing my novel. Hopefully  I can get a big chunk out of it.

Today’s post is on the shorter side, but I just want to go and do productive things. That being said, I will leave you of things I published this week.

Weekly Writing Prompt

Unnatural Nature

The Window

The Reason.

The Reason

poetry
Oh, there’s the reason.
There it lies,
on the floor of my mind.
It was hidden
behind ideas of romance
under longings of intimacy
neither the reason.
They only hide the truth.

This attachment to a stranger
with the idea of romance
longing for discovery of the deep
was caused by a dream of more,
just like reading my mind
told by another life,
this one also touched my soul.
He spoke my heart,
showed the world my hopes,
and told me I could be
the more of my dreams,
without even knowing my existence.

The Window

poetry

The Window stays open,
but it’s cold outside.
The window stays open,
as I put on a heavy sweat shirt.
The window stays open,
so I pull on warm socks.

The cold air reminds me
of autumn leaves blowing.
The cold air reminds me
of my family gathering.
The cold air reminds me
that I am still alive.

The window stays open.
The cold air reminds me.

Unnatural Nature

poetry
In a sea of knowledge
I’m surrounded by boats not fish
technology in the place of nature.
Pushing manual buttons
to answer virtual questions.
Even as I yearn for true life
I watch a mechanical fountain
as it pushes recycled water.

Electricity and lighted monitors
are my visual inputs,
with photo-shopped beauties plastered
all around the two-dimensions of my screen;
All the while knowing nature is so much more
fulfilling, beautiful, and inspiring.
It’s so sad that the shackles
of modern life keeps me coming
to the sea of knowledge
where I push mechanical buttons.

This was a very short poem, but I lengthened it. Let me know what you think and have a wonderful day.