Starting a journey

writingI started a journey last week, maybe you noticed. It is a life long quest to be my best. It will be a struggle see how this makes sense, showing some one or at least me something similar to growth. It is a journey that I have embarked as surprise to myself. This surprised journey, the sudden change in my seeing things is a surreal change in my path.

You see this new journey and sudden changed, changed more than a day like I thought it would. The first step was not really the true beginning. I thought it would be stepping into the hot sweaty gym, but no. The true beginning was asking the simple question, “Can I?” When the answer was yes, I was given a chance to step into the steam filled, rectangular room that was filled with blue and green mats.

My first class lasted all week within my muscles as an excited reminder that I did something impossible. What was that impossible thing I did, you may ask. I put down myself as I took off my shoes and learned my strength. I learned a new love. It is an impossible love that I told myself I would never find. It is the love of something that pushes you to the brink of your limits, but leaves you wanting more. It is a love that build you up, shows you the strength within you and tells you everything can be learned from. It is a love of Brazilian jiu jitsu and yes after only one class I was in love. After two classes I confident enough in this new journey to write about it.

You will hear more about my training and journey. This is only the start.

 

Sleep (Tetractys Poem)

poetry

Tetractys 

Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count. Tetractys can also bereversed and written 10, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Double Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

Triple Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 10

and so on.

Sleep
is good.
I love sleep.
It calls to me,
When the day is over sleep comes near.
I wish sleep would last longer than the night,
but it can not.
so I dream
of great
sleep.

 

Your Efforts (A Ottava Rima Poem)

poetry

Ottava Rima
A Ottava Rima is a poem written in 8-line octives. Each line is of a 10 or 11 syllable count in the following rhyme:
one octive poem. abababcc
two octive poem. abababcc, dededeff
three octive poem. abababcc, dededeff, ghghghii

Do not work, struggle, and strife all your days
what will your efforts get you in the long run?
Work for its own sack shines the flaws of your ways,
Without a reason your work will be undone.
If you only work you will live in a haze.
I hope that in your heart you can truly see
That happiness is what your should aim be.

I just sat down after a great day of relaxing on my day off and focused myself to write a structure poem. As the list dwindles down they are getting harder to do. Still here is a new one for you. Plus, I am glad that I wrote this one, since it is a lesson that I need to remind myself. I am not just working on this blog to work, but it is the happiness that it brings me. 

Thank you for reading and please let me know what you think. I hope you have a wonderful  day. 

Interesting Thought.

You may have noticed that this past weekend I spent a lot of time with my camera recording. I had my normal acting video, my painting, and a special short story for my nephew.

My hope in doing acting videos is for people to watch, be entertained, and hopefully give feedback. I am doing them so I can grow. My focus with them is others that I may not know. I’m trying to reach the widest audience with these videos.
I recorded my painting because I find it interesting to watch a painting come to life. I know a few friends enjoy watching them, but I do it because I like it. I’m not really focused on the audience with these videos.
Finally I recorded my short story for an audience of one. I only cared about entertaining my nephew. I had fun writing for him and showing my love to him in a unique way; in a way that was very much me. He has been a big fan of mine and he may not even know how much him liking my art means to me, but it means the world to me. I can always count on him for a good review.

What is interesting about these three videos? Well I realized something important. It is something that I should have known and as an artist I should remind myself every time before sitting/ standing to create. I realized that when you focus your art on someone you love or share your love through your art, that is when it means something. When love is at the center you will get noticed.

I almost didn’t post my short story on youtube. I was just going to post it on my sister’s facebook wall, but I wanted to make sure my nephew would be able to see it whenever he wanted. That was the only reason I posted it on youtube. Now it has 11 views, (I know that is not that much) when I was hoping for only 1. My painting has 14, when I did not care and my acting has 3 when I was going for at least 14.

The lesson in all of this is remembered to do what you love because you love it, not because of others.



Cheese (Acrostic Poem)

poetry

To continue my write every form of poetry challenge I will be doing an Acrostic.

Acrostic Poetry 

Acrostic Poetry is where the first letter of each line spells a word, usually using the same words as in the title.

Cheese

Celebrate with me

Happiness is raining down

Ecstasy will befall you when you

Eat this wonderful masterpiece

Soon happiness will be known

Everyone will hopefully eat this wonderful cheese.

This quick poem brought to you by a quote I found. “Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” – G. K. Chesterton. I hope you enjoyed my cheesy poem on cheese.

4/6/14-4/13/14 (DreamWard Bound)


I started my new job this week. I went in bright and early on Monday and then even earlier every other day. I did my training and went through Human Resources things. By the end of the week I was actually working on a few real sites. You see my not lame day job, that I mentioned in last week’s DreamWard Bound post, is that I’m an ethical hacker. I will be working on client’s sites to find their weaknesses, so that the bad guys can’t. It is technically called web security, but ethical hacker sounds much cooler.

Since most of my time, energy, and brain power went to just surviving the first week of waking up early, and working 8 hrs a day, I do not have an art updates. This post is the closest thing to writing I have done all week, which actually brings me to my first realization. I need to do something art based every week. I was so wiped by the time the week ended and it took me until today, Sunday, to realize how drained I was. You see, art is how I charge my brain’s battery. I turn off reality while I create. I turn off what is going on in my life. I turn off myself. I step outside of who I am to create and in creating I learn either more about God or more about myself, some how. This may not make sense, but art doesn’t always make sense. Just know that art is a release and I now know that I 100% need that release in my daily life, or at least in my weekly schedule.

Another thing I learned, well kind of learned or rather something I want to make sure you know. The web security industry is awesome. What I have seem of it, is super cool. Most of my co-workers are nice people who want to help. Some have felt the sting of being on the outside of society (ie they’re nerds). Others are what society would call normal, or at least can fake normalcy for the most part. What it comes down to is that I know work with nerds, geeks, and just smart guys, who are real. The entire company seems to be made up of normal people working comfortably. Even the upper managers are just normal people, working in a company that promotes openness and a relaxed yet productive culture. In other words I work at an awesome tech company, that is like the tech companies you may hear about.

Now, I may be working a day job to support my passions, but my friend/ roommate will not be. I am sure I mentioned Kateland before. I may have only mentioned her blog. Any ways I am super excited for her, because we are both focused on our dreams right now and she is taking a giant step towards her dreams. She will be working with a musician for the next month or so. She is going to travel with him and sell his merchandise, which will help her experience tour life, network with people, and be around the music she loves. She has a passion for music and this job will surround her in music. I am very excited for her and happy that she will be able to have a taste of her dreams. I have been telling everyone I can, because this will affect my life, also. I will be watching and learning from her experience.

I believe that is all that went on this week. I hope to post more about my art in the coming week, but for now it’s all about my not lame day job.

success

 

Following God

Over the three years and some odd months that I’ve called myself a Christian and have followed God He has spoken to me in different ways. Whether its through prayer, a pastor’s message, reading the Bible, talking with friends or simply looking at the world around him. Sometimes God whispers through nature, pulling your focus to the different seasons or the life of a lovely flower, which whispers there is a time for everything and God makes beautiful life like art.

Little signs and whispers are sweet and loving. Yet, that is not the only way God speaks He also can shout with a flood of tweets saying “be brave”, friends saying that any dream is scarey but it is worth it, reading Bible versions saying trust in God, and pastors’ messages saying God has a plan and we must follow it. Yes,  it seems like God is shouting to me “follow my plan” and that is scarey, because no where in the Bible does it say God is safe or comfortable.

God is loving, awesome, just and powerful, but his wisdom, power and love is not worldly, it is above the world’s understanding. This causes his plans to bigger than we can imagine. We can not understand His plans.

If we trust and follow God we cannot rely on our own understanding. We have to trust that God really knows what he is doing, although our path may be dark he will bring you through it, and God’s plans is the best path for you. If you truly follow God you have to fully trust him and believe in him 100%.

That is what he is telling me right now and my thoughts on it. So prepare for more blogs about my adventures and poems about hard paths and struggling towards my dreams.

God is

Some times I feel like I have a super power and it’s God. Although I have never lifted a car, or ran faster than a train I can see things people can not. I see hope in the darkness and hurt in anger. I can see where I go wrong and the way out of pain. I know that anger in the darkness and past wrongs will never keep me or anyone from God’s love. He uses all things for his good plan.

Yes it does seem like God is so far away when you first start looking at him. He is an unreachable, unthinkable entity that some think can not exist. Once you start to learn and have an actual relationship with him God comes in focus. He is the light that can guide a life to completely change even if outsiders can not see. God is the love that the world is searching for in darkness. He can be any one’s everything. But most importantly to know is that God is.

God is not a past fantasy once believed in. God is not just written in a book. God is the unexpected kindness from a stranger. He is a father’s love and a friend’s helping hand. God is love and light. He is a father to all who seek and a provider for his children. God is the builder and creator of all things. God is love. Most importantly, God is.

Yes my super power is the fact that I know that God is.

Proverbs 31

When I lived in California I had a mentor/ friend who gave advice that was simple to say, but hard to follow. Just recently  this friend, Janet, went to be with her heavenly Father in heaven. I know that she is with God because she did not only give this advice but lived it. She was a proverbs 31 woman and wanted me to be one too. That was her advice, “Be a proverbs 31 woman.” It was a simple, after reading the scripture I knew what she meant. You see proverbs 31 describes a strong, energetic, hard working woman who gets up early and stays awake working late.

For a while I have been saying, one day I’ll be that way, one day I’ll change into that. I had been saying that for more then a year; thinking I had all the time in the world to grow into kind of woman. However, when I heard that she had passed away from this life, I realized I did not have all the time in the world.  No where in the Bible does it say to wait until you are ready to follow God. It may say wait on God’s timing, but I was waiting for my own timing.

Realizing that time is short and knowing that I wanted to live for God fully. I started to read Proverbs 31 over and over. I have read it in at least 3 different translations. As I have studied it, almost every day, I have realized I am finally starting to realize what it means and  am becoming that type of woman.

I have posted the entire passage below, but there are a few verses that stuck out at me (these are from the ESV translation).

 

The first is only the first half of verse 15 which states, “She rises while it is yet night.” She is an early riser. I have not been too fond of this, but have been trying to wake up earlier and to my surprise it makes all the difference. I am not just waking up when I get to work, but already awake and ready to work. This allows me to be in a good mood for most of the day. I also realized that I have more time in the day. I can even write this blog right now, because I woke up early.

The second is “17 She dresses herself[b] with strength and makes her arms strong.”   She is strong. In the NLT the same verse says “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.”  I sometimes feel society wants women to be girly and not strong. It always seems to surprise people when I don’t mind doing the hard work that takes muscle. I’ve never been a girly girl and thought that Christian women were suppose to be ‘lady’ like. Although, I have meant non-lady like Christian woman, who I love, I had thought that they were suppose to seem weaker. This is not exactly true though. We are suppose to be strong, hard working women. We should have a strong drive to work and help out physically.

The next verse that stood out to me was the second half of 18. “Her lamp does not go out at night.” This was easy for me and I was really happy to see this. I am a night owl and love staying up late. Of course it is harder to do when you remember verse 15 which says you should also rise early. Still this means more time for everything you want/ should be doing.

My favorite chunk of verses, the one I think sums the whole passage up is 25-26. “25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,  and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”  A proverbs 31 woman is smart, dignified, kind and laughs. This paints a picture of happiness and contentment for me.

Studying this has begun to change my life. I can see the changes and feel them. I am taking charge with my writing and art work. I am working harder to be the woman God wants me to be, which is all that can be asked. I hope that by sharing this it will strengthen you and teach you that being a Biblical person is being strong, smart and awesome.

Here is the scripture I am referring to:

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

10 [a] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[b] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[c]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.