Resetting My Brain To Be More DreamWard Bound

success

The past two or three weeks have been pretty stressful for me. I couldn’t figure out how to balance my day job, commute, and creative life. I just could not do it. I realized this week with a little help from a friend that I needed to step back and breathe. I needed to reset to see my projects as projects not stressers.

Taking a step back meant that I focused this week on resetting my brain and relaxing. I needed some rest, because I work 40 hours a week at my day job and then 20 hours (on a ‘good’ week) at my creative life. Most Saturdays now are focused solely on creative stuff. Sundays I force myself to not be creative. I basically burnt myself out and tried to keep going, until this week.

This week I took a break from everything. That is why I only posted one thing this week. I only worked on my creative life on Monday. The rest of the week was focused on helping friends, hanging out with them and not worrying.

I also took yesterday off of work to do errands and adult stuff that I never have time to do, so that is a load off my shoulders. I was going to be creative for most of the day, but adult stuff takes time and a friend was able to do lunch while my car was getting its oil change. Hanging out with my friend seemed like a good plan, especially since this weekend will be heavily focused on creative stuff. Today a friend and I are getting together for Caffeinated Creative Capers, which is basically us sitting in a coffee shop working on our projects together for 5 hours. Than on tomorrow I will be painting with another friend. We will be painting faces and on canvas, so I am looking forward to that.

Hopefully this packed weekend of creativity will complete the resetting of my brain and push me towards my goals and dreams quicker or at least help me get there. I know stress, worry, and a clouded head is the worst thing to have when trying to be creative. I just need to remember to make sure I clear away the cobwebs of everyday living regularly, I guess.

Now, I am going to prepare for being creative and leave you with the one thing I did this week.

Weekly Writing Prompt (#33)

Last part of 100

ocean walk 192This list of daily thoughts start at day 82 of my 100 day challenge to myself. It ends with day 100. I will be posting the entire list  along with my closing thoughts soon. I just know that if I don’t post this I will be asking myself where it is at one point.

  1. It amazes me what a little bit of happiness can do sometimes. (Meaning some times it amazes me.  A little bit of happiness can do so much.)
  2. I can do anything because I keep the right attitude.
  3. A little encouragement can go a long way. (This was a class day.)
  4. I really fought with myself to do the workout but I did it and I am happy I did.
  5. I have the biggest smile on my face because I learn so much and felt the workout like crazy. (I had a Monday class, so yeah it was a workout.)
  6. The mind is powerful don’t waste it.
  7. I can tell this is still just the beginning of my healthy journey, but I’ve already come so far.
  8. It all seems like a mind game right now, and I am winning.
  9. 2 classes =2.5 hours is a great way to celebrate day 90.
  10. Only 9 more days and I’m feeling great. (Said with two smiles worth of happiness after another class.)
  11. Today seemed like a long day, good but long. Also I am loving BJJ more and more.
  12. I pulled something at class, so the last 7 days will be interesting.
  13. The pulled muscle/ part of leg is feeling better, still modified my workout. I’m happy with the results. I keep on going.
  14. Still modified the workout, but did more of what I can do. Only 5 more days now. Time to finish strong.
  15. Still modified the workout, still doing workout plus a little extra. I’m feeling positive with 4 days to go.
  16. I still modified the workout, but did even more of what I can do. Also I use to not be able to do 10 crossovers/ Russian twists. Now I can do 30 non-stop which makes me smile.
  17. I had a great class and really happy with my improvements.
  18. One more day. I’m feeling like a warrior. (Said with a smile on my face.)
  19. Woot! Woot! Yeah Buddy! I did 100 days and ended with an awesome class.

Bonus/ ending thought: You can do anything if you really want to. This is proof of it.

 

A Quarter Of The Way To 100

ocean walk 192

A while back I gave myself a challenge and it was a few days, maybe a week or so before I actually accepted the challenge but I did. I mentioned in the post where I shared the challenge that I was going to be keeping a log about the journey this challenge would be. I wasn’t sure at the time how I was going to do it. I just knew that I wanted to be able to share real thoughts that I had through this process. This was to both share with people about my journey and goal achieving, but also to help me. I wanted to motivate myself to keep on doing this challenge.

I decided when I started to actually do the short work out that I would keep track on a piece of paper tapped to my bathroom mirror. I also tapped a page above that and with each tally mark I wrote one line. Some days I squeezed in as much as I could others I just wrote 3 large words. I want to share that log with you now.

  1. It does not matter when you start, just that you start.
  2. Starting is the hardest and scariest part of the journey but needed. (I also wrote see twitter for 2.2.15, which says, “One day I will be able to submit someone in a fight, today is not that day, but it was a learning day closer”)
  3. Change, goals, and dreams don’t happen overnight, work towards them day after day.
  4. Convincing yourself you’re worth the work is work but worth it.
  5. Little by little and step by step is what it takes to see massive changes.
  6. By pushing yourself to do something you don’t think you can do you may find out you can.
  7. Fighting for tomorrow mean giving up you’re today. Also there is 2 parts of you the cannot and the can learn how to make the can side win. (That was after a 2 am workout, because I stayed out late with my friends)
  8. If you know how you learn, you will learn more. (This was a class day.)
  9. Working for what you want will pay off if you are constant.
  10. You know you’ve found your thing when the pain is worth it. (This was followed by a side note of  “yay, chokes. :-)”)
  11. Sometimes you just need to take way the options, make your step towards success mandatory.
  12. Starting is the worst, it’s hard and sucks, but shows you what you can do. Stick with it. You got this.
  13. I may be tired; I may not be clever, but I am doing what I set out to do.
  14. Your goals should be fun, educational and worth the pain. (This was another class day.)
  15. Making a goal a need makes it easier to do, even if it’s by force.
  16. Friends should make the goals easier. (This should be a class day note.)
  17. It’s getting easier.
  18. You know you’re doing something different and hard when you start to question seeming random choices in your life.
  19. I guess some days you just do and not learn.Doing is valuable too
  20. Some days you just have to make time. It’s worth it.
  21. Pushing yourself forward is just walking on a path or journey towards your goals. (This was a class day, also.)
  22. You can do anything as long as you work for it.
  23. People will notice your efforts. Keep on to show yourself your efforts. (This was a class day, I  know because people are starting to see my efforts in class. I don’t yet see my improvements, though. I still feel like a newbie who knows nothing.)
  24. Strength is worked at not given.
  25. You can still work even if you are tired. It will be more of an accomplishment.
  26. Sometimes realizing it’s the last part of the day makes the rest worth it.

You can see some days I was stereotypical in my motivation, other days it was more aimed towards keeping track of my main thought. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think.

One Day Of Crazy

poetry

Can I be crazy for one day?
Is there a way to just let go,
To not care?
I don’t want to care
not today.
Please.

Let me be crazy
just for one day.
I will be sane tomorrow,
but I don’t want to be
not today.
I want to scream
when I feel like crying
and laugh
when I can’t find the tears.
I want to run
when I need to sleep
and hide
when I tell you to find me.

I want to be crazy
just for this one day.
I will find my normal,
well maybe I will find it;
let that be concern for another day.
Today I think I will be crazy.
Yes, today I am crazy.
I will be some one normal
in the future
when it is another day.

Paradox of Life (poetic random thoughts)

writing

I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

It’s like
the night wishing to be the day,
sunshine wishing to be the rain,
the light wishing to be darkness.

I strive to change
when there is no need.
I work towards a new life
when my own is wonderful.
It must be how I am wired
always looking for better
when I already have greatness
searching for more love
when love is already overflowing
and looking for sunshine
when there is not a cloud in the day’s sky.

Yes, I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

This is what is going on in my head right now. It’s part wondering and part simply realizing, I have a good life, yet I still am looking for more. 

Why? (A Poem)

poetry

Why
Is my heart breaking;
Can I not see the light?
Why
have I lost hope;
Can I not feel the love?
Where is this lost feeling,
this void of hope;
where is this twisted feeling coming from?

Did I not laugh today,
was that a dream?
Did the sun not shine today
and did I not wake again?

Why
is my heart breaking;
is my mood so low?
Why
have I lost my hope
Do I not know which way to go?
Has my path darkened?
Have I lost my way?
Can you tell me?
I need to know.

Did I not see a baby smile
or hear my friends’ laughter?
Was there no jokes today
and did I not enjoy work?
Did the sun not shine today
and I not wake again?

Why
is my heart breaking;
do I feel alone?
Why
have I lost my hope;
can I not figure out?
Where can I find the hole that is inside
What fell out
How do I get it back in?

I guess it is simply one of those nights
after a wonderful day
when the night is darker
and my eyes are heavier.
I guess it is simply one of those nights
when I ask why
knowing the next dawn will be brighter.

This poem was written Wednesday night, after I hung out with a few friends and had a generally good day. I was happy most of it and then on the car ride home I started to think. My mind went off on its own and I wound up feeling a bit depressed by the time I pulled into my driveway. I decided to write as an outlet and to figure out where the feelings were coming from. By the end of the poem I realized it was just me being tired and thinking about everything I have to do.

It is simply one of those nights where I need to go to bed and know everything will be better in the morning.

I hope you enjoyed reading and let me know what you think. Also if you need help, advice, or just someone to talk to, please let me know. I am always willing to help and listen. 

The Sun Shines (a Kyrielle poem)

poetry
Kyrielle
A Kyrielle is a French form of rhyming poetry written in quatrains (a stanza consisting of 4 lines), and each quatrain has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the poem consists of only eight syllables. There is no limit to the amount of stanzas a Kyrielle may have, but three is considered the accepted minimum.
Some popular rhyming schemes for a Kyrielle are: aabB, ccbB, ddbB, with B being the repeated line, or abaB, cbcB, dbdB.
Mixing up the rhyme scheme is possible for an unusual pattern of: axaZ, bxbZ, cxcZ, dxdZ, etc. with Z being the repeated line.
The rhyme pattern is completely up to the poet.

 I dream of life worth living
one with a crazy love worth having
Where there is ice cream everyday
And the sun shines the gloom away

Is there such a life like that,
where you be relaxed like a cat
sitting in the sun for the day
And the sun shines the gloom away.

I could be happy how I am
smiling with joy at how I am
I don’t have to wait for one day
and the sun shines the gloom away.

New Day (poem)

A few months ago I tried to challenge myself with writing every type of poetry. I think I wrote about 5 poems for that challenge. I just looked back and did not see them labeled as specific poems and it was over 6 months ago. That being said I decided to start this challenge again. This time I will tell you the type and the definition of it. I will be using ShadowPoetry.com  as my poetic dictionary and list.

The first poem is:

Abecedarian Poem
Each line builds with a successive letter in the alphabet. Also referred to as an alphabet poem

 

A new day starts

Bright is the sun

Cascading light into my room

Do you hear the birds

Echoing in the distance?

Far away are the sounds

Gathering of the morning life

Happy little far away birds

I hear them as the sun cascades light

Just as I wake in the morning.

Kindly they sing me awake

Lovingly the chirp in the distance

Morning has come and I am at peace

Night is no more

Opening my eyes I can see the daylight

Peace washes over me with the bright light of morning.

Quieting the distant birds in my ears

Raising my hope for the new day

Staying in bed

Tangled in blankets

Unwilling to move from my peaceful state.

Very hopeful that my peace will stay

Waiting for reality to set in

X-ing out the dreams in my head

Youth seems to leave me

Zeal for the morning drifts away as the birds fly.

Wow X was hard to do and I wish I woke up like that.

Paintings on eBay

I have posted the last three paintings I did on eBay. As of right now they are all being auctioned. The ones that are left after the auction is complete will be sold on eBay.

3 paintings 003

Title: Forest

 

Size: 9 inches by 12 inches

 

Medium: acrylic painting on canvas-covered panel

 

Reason: It had the urge to paint, like I try to do every weekend. When I sat down to paint I decided to paint something different from my last 2 paintings. I thought it would be abstract when I started, however it quickly became a forest.

 

My Artist Statement: I, Tiffany Joy, work with the written word, visual art, and acting to spread basic truth and highlight God’s love in hopes that I can brighten someones day and spread the loving gospel of God.

Here is the link to see the eBay posting for “Forest.

 

3 paintings 014

Title: New Day

 

Size: 9 inches by 12 inches

 

Medium: acrylic painting on canvas-covered panel

 

Reason: After painting the piece “Islands” I wanted paint another piece, again while recording myself and in one sitting. This is the second piece I did in said format and the first Sunrise/ Sunset painting I have done.

 

My Artist Statement:I, Tiffany Joy, work with the written word, visual art, and acting to spread basic truth and highlight God’s love in hopes that I can brighten someones day and spread the loving gospel of God.

Here is the link for “New Day.”

 

3 paintings 008

Title: Islands

 

Size: 9 inches by 12 inches

 

Medium: acrylic painting on canvas-covered panel

 

Reason: I wanted to experiment with painting a piece in one sitting and recording myself painting. This is the finish product of the experiment.

 

My Artist Statement:I, Tiffany Joy, work with the written word, visual art, and acting to spread basic truth and highlight God’s love in hopes that I can brighten someones day and spread the loving gospel of God.

Finally, here is the link for “Islands.”

You can of course watch me painting these pieces on my youtube channel. 

 

 

 

DreamWard Bound (4/12-4/20/14)

All weekend I have been thinking about this blog. What would I write? What should I write? What did I do this week to take steps towards my dreams? Did I actually do anything that made me dreamward bound? I did not have an answer to these questions, until today.

I realized that I did not do anything to move me towards my dreams, instead I enjoyed my time. I worked hard, hung out with friends, went to my improv group, was able to take two friends out to dinner one night, and went out with my “Friend-Family” another night. I was able to celebrate birthdays with two close friends and had fun. Instead of focusing on what my life could be, I simply enjoyed my life as it is.

Now that being said I did have free time today and did want to do something artistic. I decided to paint for a little bit. I also really enjoyed how the first recording of my painting went, so I recorded the painting I did today. The only issue I had was that my camera died within 10 minutes of painting. Thankfully, I had my phone with me and was able to record it on that.  I have posted it on youtube, and placed it right below for your viewing pleasure. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think. (The song that is playing in the background is MercyMe’s “Move.” which is off their Generous Mr. Lovewell. You can find more information on them at MercyMe.org