Artist ( A Monologue)

writing

I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observes the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.

Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.

When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end  when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.

You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.

An Early DreamWard Bound

success

Now that I have spent most of my day off from work being distracted by the internet and random stuff I think I can sit down and write about my week. I just have to remember what I did this week and what made it a journey towards my dreams.

I did write more than normal and Sunday I spent the day reading about God. Besides that I don’t think anything that interesting happened in my life this week.

I have read more about God and am trying to figure out what would be the best path for me. That seems to be the most important thing in my life now. It is good that I actually ordered my goals right this time. This goal is my number one goal both on paper and actions.

I feel my relationships growing, although I am pretty sure I didn’t say I love you everyday. I still am focusing in on the important relationships in my life and I hope the people in my life can tell.

I have worked on my book for 3 hours since making the 30 hours in 30 days goal. It’s not as far as I feel like I should be, but it is something. In those 3 hours I have also gotten farther than I thought I would.

I just rearranged my last two goals, because I am realizing that my acting and writing career/ passion trumps my physical goals. I do have a plan or experiment to boost my health and fitness, but acting and writing take up a bigger aspect of my thought life. Especially, lately I have been thinking of projects that would help me boost my audience base, income, or both.

One thing that I am working on is getting my visual art or sell-able stuff up on eBay. I also want to make more masks and post those on eBay, also. However, the masks will be after I get my paintings up on eBay. This is mostly because I already have paintings I can sell, while I only actually own one of my masks and it is not for sale.

I guess that’s all I have to say today about my journey. I’m simply taking small steps and coming up with ideas at this point. One day I will be able to run towards my dreams and take giant leaps of faith, but today I am only able to put one foot in front of the other.

The steps I took towards my dreams are as follows:

A Whispered Promise

A Pondering Poem

In This Moment

Dark Den

Weekly Writing Prompts

 

Mindless Monologue

writing

As I mindlessly stir my single serve coffee in a Styrofoam cup with a small red plastic straw I think to myself, “Do others narrate their mundane tasks, as they wait for the next event in their story to unfold? Am I odd to dream in vivid detail about meeting a famous actor who could jump-start my career in the middle of a random vacation? Do others yell from their souls, ‘notice me’ with no one hearing, because they do not actually use words.”

If only you could see into my mind you’ll know all the silly questions I ask when no one is listening. You would also see countless pictures I do not have time to paint, along with numerous stories waiting in line to be written as if each main character is waiting in a dimly lit hallway with no other door. If you could see into my mind you would also see an army of poems dancing around scripts that are also waiting to be shared with the world. Sometimes there are fights in my mind because all my stories, poems, paintings, dances, and yes scripts want to see the light of day, they want to be born into reality. However, just like everything in this world things take time to develop and be turned into reality.

So, they wait in my mind. They wait where you can not see them, just like I can not see into your mind, which is why I will continue to ask questions, write my stories, and dream my dreams that line up and pile up in my mind. Maybe when they are all out you will be able to answer the question, “is my mind normal?” Just know that if the answer is no then I will smile and say, “good.”

Until you can answer all my silly questions I will sip away my coffee and make my life more interesting via narrating the boring parts, like sitting on an airplane sipping and stirring my single serve coffee.

 

This is the last post I wrote while on vacation, from now on it will be all current writings. 

I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into my mind and thank you for reading.

More for sale

I feel like lately I’ve only been posting about my painting and most of you started to follow my blog while I posted my poems. I will be getting back into the rhythm of writing poetry soon, hopefully this week. That being said I have been focused on painting more lately and some have started following this blog after I posted my art. Here is what I’ve been working on and posted on eBay this week.

I added to my Dance On The Moon painting to give it more depth and character. This is a 20 inch by 16 inch acrylic painting on canvas.

dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 006

All other paintings this week are artist trading cards which are 2.5 inch by 3.5 inch and are reinforced card stock (so 2 ply card stock) acrylic paintings.

The first group is in my series Cross, which are simply crosses done on different backgrounds with different textures of the cross. Each on is unique just like each person’s struggles and reasons to go to the cross are unique.

ImageImageACEOs 025

 

The next card is an abstract pumpkin that was just fun and festive to do

ACEOs 013

We now come to my latest series called What’s your heart? This series highlights and celebrates each person’s heart and background. We are all different with different lives to live and different ways we show are love. So what’s your heart?

 dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 020 dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 028 dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 029 dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 032 dancing on the moon and 1st hearts 035

My paintings

Hello followers.

I believe I mentioned this before but I am starting to sell my paintings on eBay. I will also be selling  Jewelry on eBay also. Today I have posted these 7 items

.split flower dance on the moon two paths solo treevirtuous womanbulb glass beadsingle bead bracelet

Please, take a look and check out the auctions for these handmade one of a kind pieces and please, let me know what you think.  Just follow this link.

Thank you.