A Long Week For Being DreamWard Bound

success

Work was a little crazy this week. One of our offices had a power outage for two days, which meant we covered for them. I also, did not feel like I was able to get into a good rhythm for the entire week. Every day just was a weird stress and distractions. This combination drained me and caused me to come home late at least 2 nights this week.

On top of that I am supposed to be switching to a hosting company, writing a web-series script, editing my book, and writing artistic posts for this blog. I have other projects or things I should be doing too, but those are my main focus at this time. I do want to do another recorded monologue, finish my kids’ book, work on my poetry art book and figure out the best way to start selling some art pieces. I just don’t have time to do everything I want.

I think it is needless to say, at least as far as explaining, but I am feeling an immense deal of pressure this week. I am wondering when a break in stress will come and looking for some free time. I don’t mean a day or so off of work, but a change in work, so that I can have time to actually follow my dreams. I know something needs to change. I just need to find out what and how. I like the company I work for and enjoy most of the work I do, when I’m not stressed.

It stinks that this stressful week came after only two weeks of artistically productiveness. I was hoping for a snowball effect. Instead it came to a screeching halt, which makes everything feel worst.

Thankfully there was some sunshine and happiness to this week. Last night I went to a friend’s band’s show. I took pictures and danced. It was a great stress release. It was also a wonderful boost in confidence when a college girl came up to me to request a song. She may have had a couple, but when I told her I would see what I could do. I mean the band’s set list was set and I wasn’t sure what songs they cover. They had already planned to play that song though. When I went back and told her she was thrilled. She was so happy that she started to shower me with compliments and hugs. I should restate, she was drinking that night and is a college girl. She loved everything about me and I’m going to accept the compliments. She also asked what I was studying as if I was a college student too. I smiled and told her I graduated college. Yeah, I got my bachelor’s degree 6 years ago and at least with my makeup done and in a dark room I look college age to a tipsy girl.

I also have some fun things planned for today, although I am would rather just stay home and work on my creative life. I know being social, helping a good cause and being around friends are good things though. I need balance in my life, so I am going to force myself to have balance and be happy.

Well, I’m going to finish this post like I always do. Here is a list of things I did this week.

Writing prompt

Could Be ( A Poem)

I Am A Soggy Bagel

A Whispered Promise ( a monologue)

writing

As I am worrying and becoming stressed, a whispering voice says,”be patient.” So, I will be patient, but there is a difference between waiting ideally while your time and talents dwindle away and being patient. I will be patient, but I will still act on opportunities, and work on my talents. I will wonder down the path of life until I can run down the road, that I know it will become.

The timing may not be right, at this moment. This moment is fleeting, though, and soon will be over.  I will be patient in my working until it is time to leap.

Flowing Thoughts of a Poetic Mind

writing

I’m going to let my thoughts flow out. I hope you do not mind the random ramblings of a lone dreamer, lost in her own heart. It was tightened up for so long that I grew to really miss it. I tried to feel it and share it but my heart was locked far away among the elastic bands of stress and worried. Chained behind what other people said and did around me.  My heart was bolted down to the walls of my consciousness, just beyond my reach, where I could not free it.

Yet I tried. I tried to express the stress that weighed me down. I tried to write about what was wrong, but I could not express. I could not find the words to shout that I had lost the thing I hold so dearly. The one thing that makes me myself was trapped and locked by the world around and I could not get to it.

It started rationally, yet quickly. I had to change my life, move to a new home. I had to unpack and be settled. Yet, settling did not happen. There was something that I forgot to take with me, some how in the busyness of life I forgot where my heart belonged. Still I knew it was around, until one day I did not. One day after weeks had passed I looked for myself, my heart and it was gone. My focus on work, and writings, and doings, and goings, and everything else that seemed so important had locked away my heart, my deepest being, until I was a stressed human with no true identity.

Funny how you can lose who you are so fast and hardly even notice. Something so valuable to us all is so easily lost, like a golden band worn on a finger or a diamond stud worn in your ear.

Thankfully I unlocked my heart and threw off the chains that held it away from me. Happiness and relief overwhelmed me, because I was me, I was whole and I am loved. You can not feel true love when your heart is chained down with stress and worries. So now with my heart freed I will dance and share the beauty that a freed heart sees.

The moral of the story is don’t lock your heart away with the stresses and worries of this world or you will lose something so beautiful, so magical and the one thing that makes you who you are. Let your heart be free at least a little each day.

I hope you enjoyed this and have a great day.

Oh and if you look at the categories you should be able to tell I have no idea what category this goes in.