Flowing Thoughts of a Poetic Mind

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I’m going to let my thoughts flow out. I hope you do not mind the random ramblings of a lone dreamer, lost in her own heart. It was tightened up for so long that I grew to really miss it. I tried to feel it and share it but my heart was locked far away among the elastic bands of stress and worried. Chained behind what other people said and did around me.  My heart was bolted down to the walls of my consciousness, just beyond my reach, where I could not free it.

Yet I tried. I tried to express the stress that weighed me down. I tried to write about what was wrong, but I could not express. I could not find the words to shout that I had lost the thing I hold so dearly. The one thing that makes me myself was trapped and locked by the world around and I could not get to it.

It started rationally, yet quickly. I had to change my life, move to a new home. I had to unpack and be settled. Yet, settling did not happen. There was something that I forgot to take with me, some how in the busyness of life I forgot where my heart belonged. Still I knew it was around, until one day I did not. One day after weeks had passed I looked for myself, my heart and it was gone. My focus on work, and writings, and doings, and goings, and everything else that seemed so important had locked away my heart, my deepest being, until I was a stressed human with no true identity.

Funny how you can lose who you are so fast and hardly even notice. Something so valuable to us all is so easily lost, like a golden band worn on a finger or a diamond stud worn in your ear.

Thankfully I unlocked my heart and threw off the chains that held it away from me. Happiness and relief overwhelmed me, because I was me, I was whole and I am loved. You can not feel true love when your heart is chained down with stress and worries. So now with my heart freed I will dance and share the beauty that a freed heart sees.

The moral of the story is don’t lock your heart away with the stresses and worries of this world or you will lose something so beautiful, so magical and the one thing that makes you who you are. Let your heart be free at least a little each day.

I hope you enjoyed this and have a great day.

Oh and if you look at the categories you should be able to tell I have no idea what category this goes in. 

Paradox of Life (poetic random thoughts)

by tiffanymy creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

It’s like
the night wishing to be the day,
sunshine wishing to be the rain,
the light wishing to be darkness.

I strive to change
when there is no need.
I work towards a new life
when my own is wonderful.
It must be how I am wired
always looking for better
when I already have greatness
searching for more love
when love is already overflowing
and looking for sunshine
when there is not a cloud in the day’s sky.

Yes, I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

This is what is going on in my head right now. It’s part wondering and part simply realizing, I have a good life, yet I still am looking for more. 

Dear past self

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

No human can complete you,
You are complete,
even if you are a bit broken,
once you realize this you will be happier.

Some people won’t stay in your life
that doesn’t mean they didn’t love you
it simply means your paths have changed.
Still keep 3 types of people around you
those who build you up,
those who show you how to grow
and those who remind you of who you were.
At some point in your life you will be lucky;
you will feel complete
and have everyone you need.

Now life will be hard
and the path will be rough.
You’re dreams will seem far away,
but you have to keep going on.
Always look forward
and although you may like to look back
remember you are not the same as you were.
You are on a journey.
Your life is a journey that changes you.
So look back when you must
but try to look forward towards the bright future,
because even when the path seems dark
there is light around one of the corners.

Voice

by tiffanymy creative self, other updatesPosted on No Comments

writing

Why do I have a voice and where does it come from? Am I just a person going through the world, doing what I want and saying whatever comes to my mind? No, the answer has to be no. I am more than just a stranger with no message. I am more than a blank face in the crowd. I want to stand out in the seas of the world and declare I am not normal. I am not just a yapping dog trying to get scraps of attention. I am not simply a girl wanting to better myself.

So Why do I have a voice? Where does it come from? I  have a voice to shine love on everyone. I have a voice to encourage and show others that they can reach for the stars. They can do everything they want to, because they are breathing. I have a voice to share my story. And I have a voice to shout my love.

Where does it come from? My voice comes from being able to breathe, from being alive. It comes from God above who has taught me what true love is. My voice comes from the God who has given me breath and life.  It comes from the people around me who tell me that I do indeed have this voice and lifts me up to be all that I was meant to be. My voice comes from far deeper than I let on.

If there is a reason for my voice and I have things I want to say with it, and since it comes from the greatest being ever to live, than why don’t I use it? Why do I blend into the crowd of the world and act like a yapping dog begging for attention? Why do I not stand up and declare “You are loved! You can be all that you want to be!”

You will be seeing changes from me.

Self-Searching

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

How do I see myself? Who do I want to be? Where am I now and how do I need to go?

I am still searching, still living the best I know how. I seem to need to be shown a way and to be guided down the right path. The only thing I know is that I am God’s girl.

Maybe I’m where I’m meant to be or maybe I have miles to go. I’m not sure so I will let God lead my way. I just want to end my journey at his home.

*

I would not be who I am without taking the steps I took. I would not be me if I found what I was looking for in the beginning. If there was an easy way to go, an easier path to take. I would not be the same person if there was not fight, no struggle to get the things I really want.

If I found my true love in college or at a bar I would try to hold on too tight and be forced to watch it crumble apart, broken by the pressure my heart would cause. I would not have known who I was, if I was not forced to learn about me on my own.

If I meant a producer or director on an airplane and he gave me the best role ever I would not know what to do. My nerves would wreck the abilities that are growing inside and I would be laughed out of my career. If I got it the easy way I would not have realized how much I really wanted it. If my art was not a fight I would not know how much I love it.

Yes, if my dreams would come true with ease in a moment I would ruin it too much for me  to bear. So I will be happy working and striving towards my goals. I will take one step after the other and work on being me. That way my dreams will not be my dreams, but goals that I will earn and work towards. If I work for them I will not be overwhelmed and I will be the person I am working towards being. They will be milestones in my path instead of the end of a dream.success

Thoughts on Flying

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

I normally don’t do posts on tips or help articles. I usually don’t give advice because this blog is about my art and what brings me joy. I would rather share my love and my journey, rather than tell anyone how to do things better. Well, if everyone I meet while flying does these things I would be very happy.

These are just little things that irked me, that I think should be common sense while you are on a flight.

1.) When you are boarding a flight and waiting for your zone to be called do not stand in a line formation near the actual boarding line. The line is slow enough and waiting around just blocks the people who can actually board, causing the process to be even longer.

2.) It is okay to ask people to rearrange, especially if you are a friendly soldier. I simply ask that you make sure you are sitting in the right seat. I will move and take any seat you want, but when it’s a late flight and you are in the wrong it just takes longer for everyone to get settled in. Yet, I am not that upset, because they were soldiers and really friendly.

3.) If you are a couple  with someone else in the window seat do not cross over to the other person’s area, at all. Lean into your significant other. If it is an over night flight and you cross over expect to at least be nudged. On that note, I am sorry to the lady who crossed over my bubble, for elbowing you while I slept. Well, I’m sort of sorry, but I can’t be held responsible for reacting to a personal bubble intruder while I was sleeping.

4.) Be friendly and smile. You never know who you’ll meet, where they’re from, why they are traveling or what a simple smile means to them. They could be coming from a long way away, causing them to be tired. They could hate flying and have anxiety. Whether they are worn, exhausted, or simply traveling everyone can use a single serving friends. If nothing more you may learn something new.

While writing the first draft I thought I would have more tips by coming home, but I guess that is it. Be friendly, think about others and pay attention.

I hope you enjoyed this little rambling about what to do while flying and let me know what you think.

Late fourth of July post

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

My first flight to North Carolina was filled with Soldiers. Like myself they got to the gate early and I was able to watch and listen to them. In serving together they had become to at least act as a large family. They joked, teased and talked like they were a loving family. One reoccurring theme in their conversations was how excited and happy they were to be going home. They were a family but it was clear that they missed their own families. One had a son that was potty training. One talked on the phone to her mom. Another talked about partying with friends when he got back to his hometown. A few others talked about their girlfriends or called them on their phone.

The conclusion I made through all of these small interaction is that these people love deeply. They love their families and friends. They love their soldier family, their battle-mates. They also love their country deeply. They must, because they would not leave the ones they loved if they didn’t. They would not risk everything or sacrifice time away from their home, from where their loved ones and life are, if they did not love their country. Soldiers are very loving, noble, and brave. I am very thankful for this fact on July fourth, and today.

Thank you, to all the men and women who served and still serve this country. I am very grateful for every soldier of this country.

Back From Vacation

by tiffanyLife, other updatesPosted on No Comments

As the title suggests I am now back from my vacation with my family. I now have 10 new posts that will be published through out this week. There a few poems that were written from the beach and one from my airplane, 2 beach scenes, a short story, some random thoughts and a monologue.

Most of my focus while writing was about the beach and the ocean, but I did do some introspective thoughts and wrote one while flying on the fourth of July among soldiers.  I also wrote a few things during one of my long flights coming back home.

Outside writing it was a crazy week with my crazy family that I love and already miss. We spent time on the beach, went on a dolphin cruise, went to a play, and explored the Outer Banks of North Carolina. We really did try to see everything while resting and keeping four very different kids entertained. This is why it was a crazy week, but one I would not give up.

The stress brought out laughter at the day’s end. The activities in the heat and the sun mad us all sleep well. Plus being in the sun and in the ocean is great for the soul.

All in all I left mostly recharged, happy and feeling fully loved. Not to mention tanner and more blonde thanks to all the sunshine and salt water.

I am very happy to be home and share all my writings with you.writing