Who Am I? (Journey To Me)

by tiffanyJourney To Me, Life, Real LifePosted on No Comments
Who is Tiffany Joy

Welcome to a journey I am taking to answer the question “Who is Tiffany Joy?” I’ll show you who I am and how I became this person mostly through stories. This is a series of blog posts filled with self-reflection and stories of my past.

This journey started with me asking if the person I’ve become is someone I want to be. Can I be a better version of myself? If I can what would that look like? Also, can I be happy with who I am and still desire to be a better me, whatever I define ‘better’ as?

Before I can really think about becoming a better version of myself I first have to define  where I am. How do I see myself. Just like getting directions on your gps for a vacation, I need to know where I am starting on this journey.

I am a 30 year old single female Chris follower, who is also a writer, painter, and aspiring actress.

I identify as an actress and theater person, even though I haven’t been on a stage for a long time or worked on a show in years. Still, I see myself as a theater person. There is a yearning to be noticed as an actress. My desire is to learn and embody a new character. I want to learn about myself through a fictional character, like seeing through a different pair of eyes.

It brings me happiness when someone refers to me as a writer, artist or creative person. I feel love when people notice me for these things. Being creative is a passion of mine and part of who I am. When you notice my creativity you are noticing me.

It is easy for me to think little of myself and my art, since I don’t make a living off of it yet. People could very easily say it is just a hobby. I also feel like I keep most of my art to myself. At the very least I don’t promote it as much as I should. It just goes on the internet and then it is forgotten. Some paintings just go on my wall where only I can see them.

Promoting and selling my artwork is one area I would like to improve on. I am taking steps for improving my online art life. Currently, I am posting more on my Instagram. Also, I am planning on setting up a society6 shop to sell prints of my paintings and even some digital pieces I’ve been working on. I have also been toying with the idea of selling the original paintings on eBay or Etsy, again. We shall see about that though. My main focus will be getting something on society6.

No matter what I will still create. I am an artist; that is who I am. That is where I will start this journey to understanding myself better.

Want More?

I have more stories that shows how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.

Guarding The Ladder.

by tiffanyMy Author's Portfolio, Real Life, short stories, Short Stories Portfolio, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on One Comment
guarding the ladder short story

Do not let the picture above fool you. Otis is not an ordinary cat.  He is a fierce feline focused on protecting the one who feeds him. He is like a soldier and takes on this role every night. What is this hero of a cat protecting me from? Well, I am not sure, but it may be from falling off my bed, or it could be the window. Whatever the danger, he protects me from it every single night.

Let me explain how he protects me. His heroism entails walking the perimeter of my bed, making sure that the only exit from the loft bed is still the ladder. He then makes sure that I am safe by sniffing my face. Finally, he is ready to buckle down in his post. He stretches out as he lies down right at the opening for the ladder. With courage, he will stay at his post, keeping watch unless he falls asleep until my morning alarm goes off. Most days he will even stay pass the alarm going off and it will take me nearly throwing him down the ladder for him to move.

Now, since I am the one being protected, I cannot be the first one out of the bed. He cannot and will not simply move aside. This cat needs to clear the area, or at least the ladder. He makes his safety check by climbing down part way, stopping at the window for a moment, and going out the window onto the roof.

His reward for protecting me all night is his breakfast that I pour him, while I am still asleep.

At least, that is what I am telling myself. In all honesty, he most likely is just being a butt and blocking the ladder, because he knows it annoys me. I will keep trying to convince myself that he is protecting me because murdering a cat is frowned upon.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube.

Otis, The Hunter.

by tiffanyReal Life, short stories, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on One Comment

 

 

 Otis, The Hunter.
roof otis 004

Otis, the fat grayish-tan feline with thick black stripes, almost sat down next to me as if he wanted to be near the comfort of a human. Before his bum touched the blanket I had brought out onto the roof, Otis heard a noise. It was the famed climbing of a squirrel, that needed to be hunted. There was no time to cuddle the squirrel invader had to be stopped. Only the heroic house cat could hunt and stop this beast, so Otis crouched down and very slightly crept to the skylight, that since it was raised gave a littler cover for his sneak attack. Then since time was of the essence he bolted towards the wild beast, which actually gave the squirrel enough time to see the house cat and climb back to the top of the tree yelling at the cat as it climbed. Otis, who thought himself brave and a great hunter,continued to stalked the frightened and angry sounding squirrel to another higher tree.

Unfortunately the hunt had to end since Otis is a fat house cat who could not even get onto one of the trees. After a minute or less Otis came back to the blanket wanting the petting he ran away from a few moments earlier.

My Bad Morning (a Short Story)

by tiffanymy creative self, Real Life, short stories, Short Stories Portfolio, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on One Comment
My Bad Morning short story

Based on a true story.

I woke up today, not wanting to get out of bed. The reason was nothing big. I just wanted the weekend to come a day early.

My adult self woke up, and I got out of bed. I got ready and took part in my work’s fancy Friday. When you work in a company of hackers, who also have nerd tendencies, casual dress is more common than not. Most days people dress in jeans and t-shirts, but not on Friday. Friday people dress up. There is one person who appreciates fancy Fridays the most and who I believe started the tradition. It was this person’s birthday, so took part in what she enjoyed. I found my dress pants and my favorite button-up shirt. I put on my makeup and did my hair. Then I put my heels on and went out the door.

I got a latte from my favorite cafe. My day had a later than normal start, but it was going fine. It wasn’t until I got on the highway that everything stopped being fine. A loud noise erupted as if my car was driving on something. Maybe there was something stuck under my car. I got off the highway, and the sound changed a bit to more of a thud-thud sound, as if my tire was flat. It was strange since when I was on the highway it was just loud. I pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot and got out of my car. Something blew my tire with holes in all of it.

The Start Of The Tire Change

It was still okay. I was going to change a tire. How hard could it be? I had it all under control. I started by taking the spare tire out. This should be the easiest part, right? I just needed to undo the bolt and slide it out from under my car. It sounds simple, but when you are in fancy Friday attire you get determined to stay clean, and need to pull something out from under your car, things get difficult.

On top of staying clean, I did not want to get my clothes wet. It had rained the night before, and as soon as I tried to get the spare tire out, it started sprinkling. I ended up in yoga positions and weird poses just to figure out what I could do to get the tire out from under my car. After a fight and a struggle, I freed the dirty rescue tire from its cage.

Now, it was time to get the jack in place. Again, this should be easy, right? Don’t you just put it under your car and crank it up? Apparently, the answer to both those questions was ‘no.’ After the wheel did not move, but the car frame moved, I looked at my manual. It was inside in my glove compartment.

Once The Jack Was On

I went to the front of my car and saw my delicious latte sitting abandoned. I thought it best to show it some love by taking a sip. It thought it best to spill all over my car. Thankfully I did not get burned, because it was lukewarm by now. Yes, I got to enjoy one, maybe two sips of hot coffee before my tire blew and now the fight over the spare tire caused my coffee to be lukewarm.

I sighed a heavy sigh and flipped through the manual to figure out what to do with the jack. It had now started to full-out rain. Once I thought I had everything in control, people asked me if I needed help. My Pride and my confident wouldn’t let them help. I would finish this task. I know I am a woman who is looking fancy, but I can do it. Everyone should be able to change a tire.

I got the jack in place and was ready to remove the tire. Now, I just needed to get the nuts off. In the movies, they make it seem pretty easy. Plus, this is harder than it should have been already, so now the easy part should happen. I am almost done. I just need to get the tire off.

Finally Changing the Tire

Well, after a few minutes of trying to getting them off with increasing force a nice older man came over to should be a trick. He got on the wrench thing and jumped. Yes, he stood, full weight on the thing, and jumped. Awesome I know how to do it now. I thanked him, thinking that was all I needed. I just needed a tip from a stranger. He accepted the gratitude and went on his way.

In my heels, I hopped with both feet on the wrench thing. Nothing happened. I had a thought of, “Hey, I’m light.” My next thought was, “Oh my goodness, I am so weak I can’t even get this nut to loosen.” After a minute of hopping on the wrench thing, another man came and helped me. He told me to lower the jack and loosened the nuts for me.

After I finished taking the nuts off the wheel was easy to get off. My little detour was close to completion. I just needed to get the spare tire on and then drive less than a mile to the tire store. By now, though, I knew that stupid tire would not be easy. I picked it up and waited until finding the issue. The struggle was aligning the holes with the bolts. This task felt like I was trying to line up an ancient key with its keyhole. It took longer than it should have. Of course, the entire process took longer than it should have. Finally, after one more person asked to help me, which I refused on the fact that it was only the spare tire now, I could get it on.

The Ending Of The Story

I got up with my outfit still clean and one more friendly person stopped to help. It was amazing to me how many people wanted to help me. I told the guy I replaced the tire already, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for him to make sure they were tight enough. He did and could tighten them a bit more.

I was now off to the tire store, where I was told that I need four new tires. While they were pricing the tires, I cleaned my hands and arms, which were the only things to get dirty. It was then when I decided I never wanted to change a tire again, so got all four new tires, hoping it would at least postpone the tire-changing nightmare.

It was an hour’s wait before I could go to work. I got to work. After an hour, I made myself peanut butter on toast. I was still proud of myself that I did not get any dirt on my clothes. I tell you this because after I finished with my snack, I looked down and saw that some peanut butter had dropped on my shirt along with my pants. The only thing I could do was laugh. I can change a tire while staying clean, but I can not eat and stay clean.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my morning.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube. Also, I post snippets of my short stories and other writings on my Instagram account and Facebook page.

Free Lobster (A short Story)

by tiffanymy creative self, Real Life, short stories, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on No Comments

writing

You woke up tired with a headache. Yes, it is ten in the morning, but you don’t want to get out of bed. It is cloudy, cold, and sad outside your bed. You stay in bed there for a bit longer which grows into another hour in bed. That is when you drag yourself out of bed, slowly make it down to your kitchen. The  coffee pot fights with you and the pancakes you are making take longer than you want. Once your meal is ready you watch one of your favorite television shows even though you know you have things to do. You tell your self, “It’s Saturday, it is okay to relax.”  The show ends and you now have to rush to get ready.

It’s ten minutes after noon and you are out the door. You drive towards the beach and hope that there is a fire pit available, since your friend has told you to be there before noon to get the fire pit. You arrive at the beach and smile. There is one pit left. You did not fail and even had a nice morning.

You walk the long beach to the one pit without the clutter of people and their things. It is not until you are near it that you see why it is abandoned without a person to claim it. Sand from the beach was piled into it until the sand created a table top. There was no room for fire or anything else besides the sand.

Now, do you sit and claim the pit no one wanted or take your chance that some one will leave by the time your church has its gathering.  You decide to stay and ask a friend to bring a shovel. You then ask another and another,  until someone finally has a shovel in a town where hardly anyone uses a shovel.

Once you have a plan you sit and relax.You take out your kindle to read a book. That is when you realize you kindle only has 20 percent of its battery left. You read the book trying to ignore the fact that the battery is draining. It drains fast and soon the computerized voice tells you so. You read on hoping to get farther in the book that you are just now getting attached to. Finally the battery is too far into the red for your liking so you turn it off.

As the wind blows and you start to get chilled. You are now thankful that you have a pair of leggings to go under your skirt and a cardigan to go over your tank top. As you wrap your self up a young lady walks over with a shovel in her hand. She tells you that you can use the shovel to which you respond with a grateful, “Thank you,” as your leg gets stuck in your legging and you fall over. With a smile you accept the shovel and start to dig out the fire pit.  It does not take long before a fire get fit.

After returning the shovel you sit and wait. You look at your phone to see what is going on in the world and see that you still have hours before the person with the wood will show up and another hour before the fire is supposed to actually start. There is a notebook and Bible in your duffle bag.

The  notebook is what is taken from your bag, but nothing besides a few lines in the shape of the beach’s life guard station is drawn on the pages. Not a single word is written before you put it back in the yellow and blue plaid duffle bag.

There is more waiting and people watching. A few people ask you, “Are you saving the fire pit?” They ask as if there would be another reason your blue sheet is stretched out next to the fire pit in question. A woman looking for a pit for a sixteen year old’s birthday party comes by, but their gathering is happening at the same time and with a large amount of people. Still more people ask you if you are saving the pit that should be obvious that you are saving and that you dug out.

Around three o’clock an older gentleman who looks as if he tries to stay healthy walks over. “Is there anyway we can share this pit?”

You tell him something along the lines that it may be possible and the two of you start to figure out if it actually is. Once it is decided that your parties will not clash it is decided that you will share the pit that you have saved for almost 3 hours with this doctor man. That is when he tells you that he will share his meal with you. For a moment you want to tell him it’s not necessary, but before you can he tells you what he is cooking. He and his doctor friends bought lobster, red beautiful lobster. The seafood that belongs to the other coast. The shellfish that your home has, the delicious food that you have not had in the shell for a long time.

He then leaves to get his things and your roommate shows up. She talks about her day and you tell her about what just happened. The guy comes back and you talk to him a little but mostly focus on the roommate that has joined you.

More doctors and their spouses come trickling towards the fire. Soon their fire is going and they are finding amusement in cooking their lobster. You do not want to intrude, so you talk and focus on your roommate and her friend that shows up.

Your roommate does not stay for too long though. She needs to eat something, so once the lobster is almost done she leaves. You are than called over to be one of the first to enjoy the amazing food that they prepared.  One man, that is about your age, so around late twenties or early thirties  asks you if you need help as you crack the arms off and dislocate the tail for the head. You both smile as he realizes you know what you are doing. Still you let him help you cut the shell. The other cut the shells off the other lobsters which seems so foreign to you. What about the crackers that squeezes the  shell until it breaks?

You figure they had their way of doing it and you had your way. Everyone is enjoying themselves and you are having free lobster with good people. No matter what happens from that point on, you had free lobster because you shared what you could.

 

This is a true story about my last Saturday.

My Tesitmony

by tiffanyReal Life, short stories, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on No Comments

I have not shared my testimony/ story in a while so I figured I would share it with everyone.

I grew up in a small town with a rather large family, which included 3 sisters and 4 step-siblings. I would only see my father on the weekends and my relationship with him was not ideal.

After graduating high school I went to college 2 hours away. I felt what I thought was freedom. I could do pretty much anything and not fear my mother finding out. I still got good grades and still graduated on time, but I partied and stayed up till all hours of the night. Some nights the sun would rise before I left my friend’s house.

Like I said I graduated on time from college and then the question was raised, ‘Now what?’ I decided to go to California with a group of friends. We wanted to live the Californian life. We wanted to own a night club, computer business, and whatever else seemed like fun.

We drove for six days to get to our new home that just fell into our laps. It was a great big house close to the ocean. Everything was looking good, for a time.

Of course, it was not long before things went down hill. Our friend that we moved out there for found himself needing to move to New York, very badly and within a month of the move he went to live with his parents. The five that moved out there were now on our own. We did not have jobs or friends out there. We only had the four bedroom house.

Things started to get rough and we started to fight with each other. At one point my friend, Ryan threatened to move out. He did not actually move out but we all were not happy campers.

Someone one day came up with the idea of studying all the different religions to find the one main truth. We
figured there must be a through line in all the religions. It’s not like we thought knowing the different religions would help, we were more curious. We assigned the different religions among our group. However, the only person that actually looked into his assigned religion was, Justin, who chose Christianity/ the Bible, since he already had one from his grandmother.

One or two others in the group talked with Justin about God before my encounter with God. The time line gets a little blurry because once God came into our group He came rushing in. The time in between each of us accepting God and the Bible to be true was no more than two months, maybe even shorter. That is five friends in two months.

Each one of us had a very clear moment when God came into our hearts. Notice I do not say, ‘When I found Jesus.’ I did not find Jesus, I did not find God. I was not looking for God or Jesus. I did not want that boring religion filled with self-sacrifice and rituals to be true. Thankfully God is not a god of religion or rituals. He is the God and so much more than anything we can fully understand.

He found his way into my heart one day as I was meditating on the cliffs in Santa Cruz, California. I did not think I was praying and did not bring anything. I had taken the walk with my friend and roommate Marc, who had brought Justin’s Bible (the only Bible in the house). After I asked the universe to send me a sign about what is true, something like a small voice in the back of my soul told me, ‘Pick up the Bible.’ I stood walked over to Marc and asked him to see the Bible that was next to him. He handed it to me or I picked it up and walked back to my area.

I did not flip through the pages or pick a verse to read. I did not want this to be true. I let the wind blow the pages. When the wind died down enough for the pages to stop flapping, the Bible was about open about half way. My eyes did not fall on the first line of either page though. I remember it was about half way down the page that I started to read. I read the verse, “Oh, hear me Lord in my meditation and deliver me from the evil doers.” It was Psalm 64 in the New King James Bible. The Lord did hear me in my meditation. Than as I accepted the Bible to be true something like a light or breath or a new life came into. I could have ignored it and said that it was nothing, but it was something special. It was indeed a new life and it was because I was open to any idea, even the ones I did not want to be opened to.

Since that day I’ve taken leaps and bounds in my journey, but have fallen and slipped. I pray honestly, earnestly and full hearten at times, yet other times I hardly pray at all. My life is not prefect, actually it’s far from it, but it is a true and full life. I do not have a husband or stable career path. I am not saved from the dangers in the world, but I am alive and have a God who I can lean on. I do not know where my life is going. I only know the next step I need to take is because life is a journey filled with little steps and you may trip and stumble but God will catch you, all you need to do is trust in him.

If I could tell you one thing I’ve learned it’s just that; life is a journey filled with steps and the only way you can get to your destination, your destiny, is to trust is the Lord our God, who loves you and has saved the world. All you need to do is be open to his guidance and love.