October 4, 2014's DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

This week was crazy at work. I was in the role called support, so I had to deal with people all week, client and co-workers. I can tell already that I will not like the weeks when I am on support. This week was a roller coaster and had to stay late most nights, because although some days were slow it seemed like the questions came at the end of the day.

This week just further proves the point that there is no typical week. Every week and every day is going to be different. All I can do, all any one can do, is be their best during that day or week.

All that being said, I did not do well on my goals. I just had no energy, brain power, or will power to do anything besides living after work. I did not read my Bible at all, which is supposed to be my #1 goal. I did talk to my family members a bit, but not as much as I would have liked.

My weight loss and healthy living style was a joke, but I did realize something about it. I am a stress eater. When I am overly stress or tired I just don’t care and will eat more. I also need to make sure I at least walk every day, because even if I have no energy for the gym I can do little things.

I did get the third Goal Getters video up. This week was step 3. I almost want to post more than one a week, but I don’t want to run out tips. I also don’t want to start something extra when I know I wouldn’t be able to continue it long-term. I  at least don’t want to do that with this channel.

I did not write five poems this week, but I did write four. One of my poems from this week was really received well. I got a bunch of likes on the blog and on the Facebook link. The link was even shared. The poem was I’ll wait and I will be doing a poetry reading of it for YouTube later on.

I do have a monologue that I will also be recording soon. I did not practice it yet, but it is shorter than the other ones.

This is the off week for painting, so I will not be doing that. I am also thinking about reevaluating the goal. Painting is my most artistic form, at least I feel like it is the most artistic  form I do. I like the freedom in it and how each painting is saying something. If I have to do it for 2 hours every other week, than it turns into a chore I have to do and not an expression that I love doing.

Lastly my novel is still on the back burner. I am hoping to start taking notes and working through it in the next few weeks. I know once I start I will not be able to stop and will fall back into that world. I can not wait for that to happen, but life is getting in the way.

Now, that I write all the goals out it seems like I did do a lot more than I realized this week, which makes me glad that I wrote this post. It also pushes me to wanting to do more this next week. We will have to wait and see how the week goes though.

 

Here is what I did this week.

I Will Wait (A Poem)

One Day Of Crazy. (A Poem)

Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

Brain Melt ( A Poem)

Goal Getters (video)

Mabel Chiltern’s Monologue (Video)

 

That is 6 things from the last 7 days (I think I am going to start to keep track of the number of things I post each week).

I'll wait (A Poem about writing)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

I will wait
for inspiration to come
for thought to appear,
like a word bubble from my head.

I will wait
until my mind is ready
and my brain turns on,
like a computer booting up.

I will wait
until I am ready
until my body tells me
it is time to write.

Then when patience
is no longer needed
and inspiration comes
I will write.
I will write whatever
my mind tells me to write,
my brain whispers to my fingers,
and what is scribbled
in the thought bubble above my head.

When I know what to write
I will ready my body
unleash my mind
and write,
but until then
I will wait.

 Sometimes you need to wait other times you just need to write. This of course is a combination of both. I needed to write as I waited.

One Day Of Crazy

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Can I be crazy for one day?
Is there a way to just let go,
To not care?
I don’t want to care
not today.
Please.

Let me be crazy
just for one day.
I will be sane tomorrow,
but I don’t want to be
not today.
I want to scream
when I feel like crying
and laugh
when I can’t find the tears.
I want to run
when I need to sleep
and hide
when I tell you to find me.

I want to be crazy
just for this one day.
I will find my normal,
well maybe I will find it;
let that be concern for another day.
Today I think I will be crazy.
Yes, today I am crazy.
I will be some one normal
in the future
when it is another day.

Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Are you the dream I dreamed?
Are you the prince that came
sweeping me off my feet
with a smile and a laugh?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
in a far off land
close by love?
Was it a love that would never end?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
both with my eyes closed?
Was the laughter real
and the looks meant
to penetrate my soul?

If you are the dream I dream
the prince I wished for
and my ideal
please let me know.
Show me how to start,
before your solid form
turns into a memory.

Brain melt (poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
Driving to work
and working all day
has melted the things
that use to be in my head.

My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
I think I can feel
the goo dripping out.

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
And now I think
I have said too much.

 

DreamWard Bound as of September 27, 2014

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

It may be because I just was at the gym for 1 1/2 hours, but I am really feeling great. I feel accomplished this week, like the sun is shining brighter and my main future goals are achievable. Plus I don’t feel like I want to just rush through this post this week, like I sometimes do. Some weeks I just don’t want to admit I could have done more or I am not focused on my goals.

I posted my goals next to my desk this week, so that I can actually see them and be reminded of where I am and what I want to do.  I really feel smart about how I did them. I numbered them and wrote what class or level of importance they are in. I also gave each goal a title, so that at a quick glance I can be reminded of the goals. I am also happy, because on those 3×5 cards I wrote how often I will reevaluate them. They have been really helpful for me this week and with writing this post I can just go down the list and write about each goal.

Let’s start with goal 1A which is reading the Bible in a year. I did not do well with this one. I actually did not do anything with it. I wanted to, but I have fallen behind, so I’m a bit discouraged. I do have today and tomorrow to catch back up or at the very least see how much I can read in two days. Maybe I will even read more than intended and get further ahead.

Goal 2A is my family goal and although I have talked a bit to some of I have not talked or texted all of them. The week is not over though and I am planning on communicating with the ones that I have not.

The next goal, 3A, is my weight loss goal. I am very happy about this. After a week of almost only cardio work-outs and counting calories I am happy to announce that I have finally started to lose weight. I lost 3 lb.s this week. It may not seem like a lot to some and over all it is only 1/10th of what I want to lose, but it is a start. I am finally losing the weight that I want to lose. That may be why I am so willing to share all my goals this week, because I am finally seeing progress in one that I had not yet seen any progress in.

The last A class goal is my  Goal Getters goal. I did post Step 1 video. I noticed that I now have 2 subscribers to my new channel, which I did not expect. I thought it would take longer to get any type of notice. I also have all 7 steps recorded along with some tip videos recorded. I am really excited about this new adventure.

Now on to my B class goals. 1B or my #5 is writing my poems. I labeled it my poem goal, but my reasoning and thoughts behind it does not limit it to just poems. I want to grow my writing skills and poetic voice. Since I believe you can you poetry in any type of writing I have realized that anything really can be poetry. This being said this goal was met. I wanted to write 5 creative writing posts, with poetry in them every week. I have written and posted this week’s five earlier in the week and there will be a list at the end of this post.

My next goal is my acting goal. I have only thought about this one. I do have a monologue picked out. I have written it out and read it over a couple of times, but have not practiced it yet. I will be doing that later in the day. It is not exactly the best monologue for me and is far less bubbly than my ideal. Still it is a good monologue for an actress around my age. I just want to find more modern monologues in the future.

This next goal is the start of my C class goals. The first one is my painting goal. I want to paint for 2 hrs every other week. I wish I could afford to paint for longer or more often, but with every other goal that I have this one is taking the back seat. It does help me relax and is therapy for me, but it is not my main focus. This is the week that I will be painting. I plan to paint tomorrow after I hit the gym. It will nice to paint for the first time since the move. It seems crazy that I have been in this house for almost two months and have not yet painted. I am looking forward to doing so on my roof.

My last goal, is one that I will be moving up at some point. Maybe I will move it up when I finally lose all the weight I want to lose, or maybe if I finish saying all I have to say about goal achieving. Right now though my last goal is my novel. I am trying to get through my second draft by May 3rd and so far I only have notes on three chapters. I did not do anything with it this week, but that is not to say that I won’t work on it next week. I just hope my life doesn’t get in the way of editing this novel. It is my last goal, which means that it gets pushed aside first. One day I will finish it though.

That finishes off what happened with my goals this week. I want to tell you more and continue writing, but now I can only think about my goals. I guess they are really my main focus of my week. I did hang out with friends two nights this week and went to work every day. I even started to do the work that my new position calls for.

I guess the only thing left to do is give you the list of things I did this week.

Step 1 (Goal Getters video) 

Talking to My Gym

Sleep (A Poem)

Double sided 

A Poem About Zucchini Bread

Free Lobster

 

 

 

Talking To My Gym

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, short stories, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on No Comments

I may be doing random topic  writings lately. I am enjoying writing them and I hope you enjoy reading them. I find it  a fun challenge to write the ordinary in a poetic way or not typical ways. 

writing

Hello, it’s me again. I was pushed by my goals to come and see you again. Let us get this straight I did not want to see you; I did not want to be here. Still here I am. I am walking in pass these glass doors. Before I start I do want to tell you I am drained, tired and it has been a long day. I am not sure how long I will stay or how exciting this visit may be. Maybe I should just turn away and go back home.

No, I will stay. You’re right I need this and I will feel better once I get started. So, here I go. I am starting this thing, called a work-out. I am moving my body that has been locked behind a desk all day.  I’m not going to think about that. I want to think about something else, something better. I know I will make up a story that is only for me about my future adventures that I may have at some point.

Okay, now I am feeling better. Now, that I have started to move and be active, now I feel alive. I am awake and I think I will be able to stay longer. Yes, I am going to stay longer. I am going to push myself. I may fall asleep as soon as I get home, but I will push myself.

I am starting to feel the sweat come on as I start to enjoy being here. This is starting to feel good, like I am really trying. I think I am making a difference with my health. This is great and I am not even paying attention to the time any more. How long have I been on this machine? The machine says half an hour. I guess I should go stretch.

Stretching feels so good. I have been so tight for being stationary for most of the day. It’s nice to pull my muscles at least for a few minutes.

Right, the stretching is done, so it’s back on to the cardio area. I think I will go on a new machine. I want variety, plus I am paying for all these machines. I should get my money’s worth, right? Alright I have not done this lateral moving one in a while.

Let’s see how does this one work? I want the fat burning work-out. Age, weight, wait is that weight again? No, I did something wrong. Age, oh it was target heart rate, now the weight. Alright I am ready to go. No, how do I change the difficulty? I can’t change the resistance I guess. I’ll just start pushing buttons as I work out and see what happens. Nope that mode will kill me. I’m not even going to try that. How about this last one? Yes, it will work, I guess.

Doo de doo now it’s back to my daydreaming, while I do this. Okay, it may be getting easier. Oh, it is and that is because I am going slower. I see the slower I go the easier it is. I am going to push myself. Let’s see how fast I can go. I am going to try to keep this crazy fast pace for five minutes, okay maybe 3. I can do 3 minutes at maximum. I will do this. I will do 3 minutes at maximum. I can’t do it. I want to stop, but I won’t. For some reason being with you makes it harder to take it easy, so I will push myself. I will get to 3 minutes. I am almost there and it’s getting closer. There I did it.

That actually feels great. After a short break at a slower pace I am going to do that again. You know what, maybe you are alright. I don’t know why I hate you so much when I am not around you. I really do enjoy this time here.  Oh, I am almost done with my work-out. I’ll push myself again. I will go as fast as I can. I won’t give up. I can’t give up. Here we go. I can do this. I will finish this work out strong. I am almost there. I will go out strong and I did finish. Great, I feel great. I am really sweat and gross, but I just kicked my butt.

Thank you for being here. I will be back in a day or two. Next time I will try not to be so against you. I know you are here for my health and that is just awesome. I really am happy that you are around. I feel great now and I somehow have more energy.

Let me know what you think of this post. I  am not even sure what category it should go in, but I like writing it.

Sleep (Tetractys Poem)

by tiffanyrandom ramblingsPosted on No Comments

poetry

Tetractys 

Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count. Tetractys can also bereversed and written 10, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Double Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1

Triple Tetractys: 1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 10

and so on.

Sleep
is good.
I love sleep.
It calls to me,
When the day is over sleep comes near.
I wish sleep would last longer than the night,
but it can not.
so I dream
of great
sleep.

 

Double sided (Poem like writing)

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

Do you ever feel your other side; the side that you try to hide? Do you ever try to push it down lower, because that is not the side you want shown? Do you ever wish to get rid of the part of you that should not have any part of you? And do you feel like that side, that part, could create a whole other you?

I once wrote, “I am Jekyll, but there is a Hyde.” I thought I got rid of that side, but in fact it just ran to hide. You see I am me and who I want to be. I am happy to love and love to be happy. I wish to be the sunshine in anyone’s day and want to try to see a smile on another person’s face. I am Jekyll but there is a Hyde, who hides.

She comes creeping out when I forget that she exists. When the sun is shining and my heart is filled she comes out to remind me of all the things that went wrong, scratching at the surface of my pain and playing with my fears. Reminding me with daydreams of the perfect man and the future that may never be. Wanting me to take an easier way with wider possibilities.

She forces me to look deep inside of me into the dark places that I have forgotten about, but where she lives. Like a vampire this other part of my sucks my joy and my identity away, trying to make me keep her out. She wants to play. She wants to drag others down with her, so that she can say that every one is sad and no one wants to be around.

I turn away from this darker side of me. She is not who I want to be. I do not want to worry about a future that may never be or focus on the fears that only scare. I do not want to work for nothing and live a zombie like life. No I want to be the happy version of me. The version that hears the laughter of friends and the love of family. I want to be the one striving and working towards my goals, not just sitting wasting my life.

The question remains. Do you ever feel your other side; the side that you try to hide? Do you ever try to push it down lower, because that is not the side you want shown? Do you ever wish to get rid of the part of you that should not have any part of you? And do you feel like that side, that part, could create a whole other you? I do.

A Poem about Zucchini Bread

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

If your eyes are the windows to your soul
than let me look upon a warm loaf.
If poetry is the doorway
than surely there should be a poem
written to the food that warms it.

I heard a poem spoken
about peach cobbler
and how to make it.
I have heard a poem
about the houses lived in.
But there is no poem
about Zucchini bread
so I will write it.

Where to start
we go so far back.
This almost miracle
delicious in my mouth
reminding me of childhood
reminding me of family
and reminding me of love.

We share the time it takes
and we share the bread we make.
Some families have old traditions
spanning generations
going back as far as their own family’s creation.
My family has Zucchini bread,
the wonderfully green mixture before it’s baked,
the sweet smell that tells you it’s ready,
and the thick, warm taste when it’s cooled just enough.

It is always a happy time when this bread is cooking
the smell alone is enough to put a smile on your face
and love deep in your heart.
The smiles that dance on the faces in the kitchen
and the laughter that steams from creating this masterpiece.
Yes, other families have their traditions
and their memories;
we have our own
and I know I would rather taste ours
than yours.

So, here is to the flour on the floor,
the green goop on the counters
and the love in the bellies.
Here is to the freezers filled
the gifts created from joy
and the memories made.
Here is to the Zucchini bread
that I love to make
and love to eat.

 I feel like this is a bunch of different poems wrapped into one, but I think it works. Zucchini bread is my favorite food, so it should have more than one poem written. Let’s just say this is multiple poems written to blend together or something like that.