Who Am I? (Journey To Me)

Who is Tiffany Joy

Welcome to a journey I am taking to answer the question “Who is Tiffany Joy?” I’ll show you who I am and how I became this person mostly through stories. This is a series of blog posts filled with self-reflection and stories of my past.

This journey started with me asking if the person I’ve become is someone I want to be. Can I be a better version of myself? If I can what would that look like? Also, can I be happy with who I am and still desire to be a better me, whatever I define ‘better’ as?

Before I can really think about becoming a better version of myself I first have to define  where I am. How do I see myself. Just like getting directions on your gps for a vacation, I need to know where I am starting on this journey.

I am a 30 year old single female Chris follower, who is also a writer, painter, and aspiring actress.

I identify as an actress and theater person, even though I haven’t been on a stage for a long time or worked on a show in years. Still, I see myself as a theater person. There is a yearning to be noticed as an actress. My desire is to learn and embody a new character. I want to learn about myself through a fictional character, like seeing through a different pair of eyes.

It brings me happiness when someone refers to me as a writer, artist or creative person. I feel love when people notice me for these things. Being creative is a passion of mine and part of who I am. When you notice my creativity you are noticing me.

It is easy for me to think little of myself and my art, since I don’t make a living off of it yet. People could very easily say it is just a hobby. I also feel like I keep most of my art to myself. At the very least I don’t promote it as much as I should. It just goes on the internet and then it is forgotten. Some paintings just go on my wall where only I can see them.

Promoting and selling my artwork is one area I would like to improve on. I am taking steps for improving my online art life. Currently, I am posting more on my Instagram. Also, I am planning on setting up a society6 shop to sell prints of my paintings and even some digital pieces I’ve been working on. I have also been toying with the idea of selling the original paintings on eBay or Etsy, again. We shall see about that though. My main focus will be getting something on society6.

No matter what I will still create. I am an artist; that is who I am. That is where I will start this journey to understanding myself better.

Want More?

I have more stories that shows how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.

My Tesitmony

I have not shared my testimony/ story in a while so I figured I would share it with everyone.

I grew up in a small town with a rather large family, which included 3 sisters and 4 step-siblings. I would only see my father on the weekends and my relationship with him was not ideal.

After graduating high school I went to college 2 hours away. I felt what I thought was freedom. I could do pretty much anything and not fear my mother finding out. I still got good grades and still graduated on time, but I partied and stayed up till all hours of the night. Some nights the sun would rise before I left my friend’s house.

Like I said I graduated on time from college and then the question was raised, ‘Now what?’ I decided to go to California with a group of friends. We wanted to live the Californian life. We wanted to own a night club, computer business, and whatever else seemed like fun.

We drove for six days to get to our new home that just fell into our laps. It was a great big house close to the ocean. Everything was looking good, for a time.

Of course, it was not long before things went down hill. Our friend that we moved out there for found himself needing to move to New York, very badly and within a month of the move he went to live with his parents. The five that moved out there were now on our own. We did not have jobs or friends out there. We only had the four bedroom house.

Things started to get rough and we started to fight with each other. At one point my friend, Ryan threatened to move out. He did not actually move out but we all were not happy campers.

Someone one day came up with the idea of studying all the different religions to find the one main truth. We
figured there must be a through line in all the religions. It’s not like we thought knowing the different religions would help, we were more curious. We assigned the different religions among our group. However, the only person that actually looked into his assigned religion was, Justin, who chose Christianity/ the Bible, since he already had one from his grandmother.

One or two others in the group talked with Justin about God before my encounter with God. The time line gets a little blurry because once God came into our group He came rushing in. The time in between each of us accepting God and the Bible to be true was no more than two months, maybe even shorter. That is five friends in two months.

Each one of us had a very clear moment when God came into our hearts. Notice I do not say, ‘When I found Jesus.’ I did not find Jesus, I did not find God. I was not looking for God or Jesus. I did not want that boring religion filled with self-sacrifice and rituals to be true. Thankfully God is not a god of religion or rituals. He is the God and so much more than anything we can fully understand.

He found his way into my heart one day as I was meditating on the cliffs in Santa Cruz, California. I did not think I was praying and did not bring anything. I had taken the walk with my friend and roommate Marc, who had brought Justin’s Bible (the only Bible in the house). After I asked the universe to send me a sign about what is true, something like a small voice in the back of my soul told me, ‘Pick up the Bible.’ I stood walked over to Marc and asked him to see the Bible that was next to him. He handed it to me or I picked it up and walked back to my area.

I did not flip through the pages or pick a verse to read. I did not want this to be true. I let the wind blow the pages. When the wind died down enough for the pages to stop flapping, the Bible was about open about half way. My eyes did not fall on the first line of either page though. I remember it was about half way down the page that I started to read. I read the verse, “Oh, hear me Lord in my meditation and deliver me from the evil doers.” It was Psalm 64 in the New King James Bible. The Lord did hear me in my meditation. Than as I accepted the Bible to be true something like a light or breath or a new life came into. I could have ignored it and said that it was nothing, but it was something special. It was indeed a new life and it was because I was open to any idea, even the ones I did not want to be opened to.

Since that day I’ve taken leaps and bounds in my journey, but have fallen and slipped. I pray honestly, earnestly and full hearten at times, yet other times I hardly pray at all. My life is not prefect, actually it’s far from it, but it is a true and full life. I do not have a husband or stable career path. I am not saved from the dangers in the world, but I am alive and have a God who I can lean on. I do not know where my life is going. I only know the next step I need to take is because life is a journey filled with little steps and you may trip and stumble but God will catch you, all you need to do is trust in him.

If I could tell you one thing I’ve learned it’s just that; life is a journey filled with steps and the only way you can get to your destination, your destiny, is to trust is the Lord our God, who loves you and has saved the world. All you need to do is be open to his guidance and love.

Episode 1 The Road Trip

The plan for the Road Trip, that would change the Gang of Color’s lives, was for Brain, Doom, and Lady to leave Brain’s parents’ house at eight o’clock and pick Sunshine up at ten o’clock in the morning. That was before Blue Bull called Brain to tell him, he was joining the group. This was news to Sunshine when she called Brain at 10:30 wondering where the gang was. She had already said goodbye to her family and was anxiously waiting to start her trip.

Brain informed Sunshine that they had not left but was leaving soon. He also told her that they were going to go soon so they four of them would be at Sunshine’s home in two hours. After two hours past Sunshine called Brain again. It would be two more hours.  She also called at four o’clock.  Sunshine’s family started to come home from work and school, her young nephew included.

Six o’clock rolled around and the group finally rolled into Sunshine’s driveway. After they all had dinner that Sunshine’s mom made they were off. It was almost eight at night and they finally started on their road trip in two packed cars.

They drove from Massachusetts to Rhode Island and stopped to take in the fact that they were on a life changing adventure and partake in their common interest. They were then off only stopping briefly in Connecticut for a bathroom break. The next stop was in Pennsylvanian to fill up on gas. It was about four in the morning when they pulled into the huge gas station and found an arcade inside. The group of gamers played in the few games that the arcade had and half an hour later they were off again.

While Brain and Bull drove their cars Lady and Doom played co-pilots leaving Sunshine to enjoy the car ride and fall asleep. Since she was the first to sleep she woke up first. They all were still in their cars but the cars were parked. Sunshine looked around as she was waking up and noticed that they were in a Walmart. Apparently they stopped to pick up better walkie-talkies but the ones they found did not work between cars.

Once they were all awake they went across the parking lot to the McDonalds where, as they had breakfast, they took group pictures and joked with each other.

After everyone ate they were back on the road again.

Story Time with Pink Sunshine

Introduction

Pink Sunshine sat in a world just a portal away from yours. Everything was the same in this universe. The sky was blue, grass green, and people feel in love. God existed in this world, too, the only difference was that people named the children things like Pink Sunshine, Purple Lady and Blue Bull.  Yes, Sunshine sat in this world thinking of the extraordinary story she felt she needed to tell.

It was a true story but not a common story. It was not a overcoming a monster type of story, although it was partly about her and her friends overcoming trials and troubles while they grew into better people. That was not the main focus, though. It was not a rags to riches story either, no matter how valuable she felt her new life was. She did not think her life was a quest or voyage story either, but she did reflected most about the voyage to her new life and that aspect of the story. She did not want to label it as a comedy either because that would imply that it was not also a tragedy.  She decided that the story she had to write was, just like her group of friends, all different types.

This is her story, about how Pink Sunshine and the Gang of Colors went on a voyage across their country only to find the monsters within themselves while discovering the quest of their life time which made them rich in some ways and changed their lives forever.

Their voyage was not the exact beginning though, it is just what started the life changing events. No, the story really starts years earlier when the first three meant.

Pink Sunshine was dating the Viking when she meant the Green Brain and Black Doom. Brain was the Viking’s best friend and Doom was part of the group that they had dinner with every night. Sunshine did not make a connection with Brain at first and was totally put off by Doom’s black clothes and black makeup. Neither of them would become Sunshine’s friend until after the summer that the Viking and Sunshine dated. Once they broke up, close to autumn  and the beginning of another school year for the college students, Sunshine still hung out with Doom.

It was odd but Sunshine found herself hanging out more and more with the man who kind of scared her. Doom was the opposite of Sunshine; if he  smiled she would know something was wrong. Doom smiling meant something was not right or he was playing a trick on her. When Sunshine smiled, which was often, it simply meant she was happy and everything was at least okay.  Sunshine and Doom had one common interest which was enough to start a friendship on.

Later on in the school year Doom re-introduced her to his friend Brain, who like his name would suggest was very smart and analytical. The trio shared the same common interest and their friendships developed based on that interest, which they gathered to enjoy every day.

It was late in the fall semester when she found out that the Viking shared in on the same common interest. Brain, Doom and Sunshine were headed to Brain’s friend’s house for a party. It took them a while to get ready and get to the party, but at midnight they finally arrived at the house, only to find out it was the Viking’s house.  Sunshine was thrilled that the Viking found this interest and that they could share in the enjoyment of their common interest.  That night is when the trio became four.

The school year went on and because the real story doesn’t start for a few years we should jump to when Brain moved in with the Marque and the Blue Bull. Now Brain and the Marque were friends before, in fact the Marque was good friends with the four. Doom and Sunshine would walk together to Brain’s house from campus or just meet up at the house every day. Soon Bull started to hang out with them, when he was not busy.

During the school year Sunshine realized that the four person gang became five then six. After a few parties where the Viking brought the Mic, lovingly nicknamed by the Marque, the gang grew to be seven. The eighth  member was the Actor, he too enjoyed the common interest shared by the four. He also shared an interest of the theater with Sunshine, which was both of their majors.

They spent a solid year as an eight member group. It was not until Brain went away during the winter break, in between semesters, that ninth member even entered the story.  Her name was Purple Lady and until a year after the voyage across the country she was the only other female in the Gang of Colors. Doom brought her into the group, all because he was only with Brain far away and Sunshine staying with family while the school was closed.  Doom started to hang out with her because they were co-workers; he continued because she found she enjoyed the common interest.

When Brain came back from his trip and school started back up Lady continued to join in on the common interest that bonded them together. During this semester Brain, Doom and Sunshine planed to make a big move. They wanted to go some where like paradise and Lady wanted to join them. They started to plan not really knowing where exactly there destination would be at first, but as the semester went on they decided to move to where Brain’s cousin was living. While time past Brain went through a break up with his then long distance girl friend and Lady went through a similar break up. After their break up the two of them grew closer, one reason was because they both understood what the other was going through.

About five weeks before the move Brain, Doom, Sunshine, and Lady realized they really needed to plan the details of the move and their new lives they would be starting. They at least needed a moving truck, that they could book and not be laughed at, and a house or apartment with four bedrooms.  During the five weeks leading up Brain and Lady made it public knowledge that they were dating, now and Bull told them that he wanted to join them in moving to paradise. He just did not know when he would go.

At the time of the planning and moving Bull was engaged to be married to the landlord’s daughter. His plans for moving started with the landlord’s daughter moving with him, then he wasn’t sure if she would go with him. He realized that he did not want to marry the landlord’s daughter after all. He was still not sure when he would join the other four that would be moving.

The night before the road trip start Bull called Brain up and asked him if he was could go on the road trip. The morning of the road trip Sunshine found out that Bull was going with them. That road trip is really where this story starts to get interesting.