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Kickstarter for To Love

by tiffanyTo Love UpdatesPosted on No Comments

I have been working on my book “To Love” for over 3 years. My book is in the end stages of being ready to be published, which is very exciting for me. I am realizing I need to fully focus so that the world can get a chance to read it. That is why I decided to create a Kickstarter for “To Love.“

What is Kickstarter?

Kickstarter is a crowdfunding platform that allows creative folk an opportunity to raise funds to get their projects produced. There are many different projects being funded with Kickstarter.

How it works is that first a creative person launches a project on the site and sets up rewards. Some rewards are pre-ordering the finished product, while other rewards are special bundles, especially for the Kickstarter bundles.

Once the project is live friends, family, fans, and other people can find the project and back it. You can either back it without a reward or you can pick from the reward tier that best suits you. Then as a backer, you pledge that amount.

Once enough people pledge enough money the project gets funded, then all those who pledged will get charged. That is when the creative person will get to work putting together the reward packages and finishing the project.

If the project doesn’t get fully funded no one is charged and the creative person can’t produce the product. In my case, I would have to slow down on finishing editing, pause on the visual artwork, and not do as much promotional work right now. Without the Kickstarter project for “To Love” succeeding I won’t be able to as much as I need to do in order for it to be a success.

What is “To Love?”

“To Love” is my memoir about my views and relationship with love and how it has changed over my life. It is formatted as a long love letter to my future husband. “To Love” also has my creative writings mixed in as examples of my views towards love.

It is truly an outpouring of love that I hope to one day give to my future husband, whoever he may be. And what does the world need more of in today’s society than the outpouring of love and joy? I hope each person who reads this book will feel connected to it or me and feel the love I have for all.

Here is a YouTube Playlist telling you a little more about “To Love”
God Shows Up blog series

Gum On The Cross

by tiffanyGod Shows UpPosted on No Comments

I don’t remember too many lessons about God from when I was a kid. Honestly, I believe the majority of lessons I hear in church fall away from my conscious memory. When I was a kid the ratio was even higher. This is because most services were spent in the back of a catholic church where me and my sister would help each other not pay attention.

One Sunday I did go to a children’s church program. It was at my step-dad’s church, so I was at least 8 years old. The kids would go downstairs, into the basement of the church, while the adults learned in the main sanctuary.

As the lesson start all the kids were given gum. We were told to chew it up and then put our gum on the cross.

Now I didn’t know much about Christianity, the cross, or church, but I knew the basics. Putting gum on the central symbol of Christianity seemed disrespectful.

My gum was chewed up, covered in my spit, and gross. That was part of the pastor’s point. Our sin is gross.

The part about putting it on the cross was showing us we can give our grossness to God. Jesus dies on the cross and rose again, so that we can know a relationship with Him.

Through out my life I forgot many lessons, feel away from God, and didn’t believe in Him. However, I never forgot the lesson of the gum on the cross.

This is a post in the series God Shows Up. Follow the link to read more.

God Shows Up blog series

Church

by tiffanyGod Shows Up, LifePosted on No Comments

Intro

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, just like going to a rock concert doesn’t make you a musician. Still church is an important aspect of the Christian life. Finding your church home and being part of a community helps you grow spiritually and can strengthen your relationship with God. A church family also can support you and give godly advice.

The Story

I’m not sure which one of my 4 close friends found Elevation or suggested it first, but we all went one Sunday evening. After attending only a few times, we were invited to come early for dinner. I was uncertain about going. I thought we would be out of place and not belong, but the gang went.

We soon would start to go to ‘after hours’ and spend more time with the church people we had just met. I then started helping out, along we the others. We became part of the family of Elevation.

As we grew spiritually Elevation felt more like family. We were home when we were around Elevation’s people.

For a few years I did move away and had to find a new church. It was hard feeling alone in my journey and not among my church family. In a way that grew my faith and moved me along my spiritual journey. It showed me how to follow God alone and what truly blocks me from following Him closely.

Once I moved back to the area it felt as though I filled a new void and fit into the family again. Sometimes I even forget that there was a time I wasn’t seeing the Elevation family weekly.

Yes, we can be weird and easily distracted. We are not perfect, but we love God and follow Him. The Elevation family helps those in need and loves all. We do our best with what God gave us and work towards being closer to Him. Our church helps each one of us do that.

For more information on my amazing church you can check out our website.

For more information about how God has shown up in my life you can check out the other posts in this series.

God Shows Up blog series

Christian Camp – God Shows Up

by tiffanyGod Shows UpPosted on No Comments

When I was about 10 years old I went to a Christian camp named Camp Brea and . It was a standard camp experience. We camped in cabins, there was a lake, and it was in the middle of a forest. Trees surround the majority of the camp with the exception of the lake and a long building with dirt parking spaces. There was also a chapel among the trees.

One day towards the end of camp I was in the chapel, a service must have just finished. I was alone with one adult camp counselor. She and I sat on a bench and talked about Jesus. She asked me a few questions about faith and accepting Jesus. At the time everything made sense and Jesus seemed present. She guided me through a standard prayer and then we signed a paper that I could bring home with me. It was a confession of my faith; a sign that I decided to accept Jesus into my heart.

The paper was lost, along with the memory of what happened. I returned to my life and didn’t think anything else of that summer camp. It wasn’t until I was telling my testimony, after becoming a Christian that I even remembered that there once was a paper and the memory existed.

Looking back on my life

I see where God did intervene on my behalf. I could have gone down darker paths or have horrible accidents. There was a time when I was far from him, making wrong decisions, and living a life focused on fun. It was because of those wrong decisions and impurity that I was led to California where I eventually found God again and gave my heart fully and truly to Jesus.

In the end He was with me, even if I didn’t know it. Even when my life didn’t reflect Him, He was in the background waiting.

Healthy Bagel blog series

Mentally Healthy Bagel

by tiffanyHealthy Bagel, LifePosted on No Comments

I have primarily talked about physical health and my journey with weight loss. However, that is not actually the main focus of this journey. Instead of working towards a physical health goal, like weight loss. I have been trying to be mindful of the reasons behind my habits and my mindset that caused me to not be my physical best. Basically I am working on the inside out this time.

Your mind is where every action or inaction stems from, so you should pay attention and take care of it. Why am I eating what I eating? It is because some part of my brain said, “Yes, tuna fish is what you want to eat right now.” It could have very easy decided that I actually should go to the store and buy a large thing of ice-cream, but it didn’t. Looking at the reason behind your actions or inaction can teach you so much about yourself.

Once I fully grasped the concept that every action or inaction comes from my brain, I realized that I can control and change my mind. I didn’t have to stay stuck with the same thought patterns or reactions. This is really when I started my health journey.

Why I think Dieting fails

Yes, I had tried dieting before and living a healthier lifestyle many times. I would typically fail, because I was just doing what I thought I should be doing and not looking at the reasons. The reasons didn’t resonate deep enough for me to keep with it and what I truly wanted to change was not actually being changed.

Most of the time the reasons we want to change our outward appearance has more to do with how we see ourselves and inner minds. That is why I never saw lasting change. I wasn’t changing the foundation or inner life, so my outside appearance was only always temporary.

Let me rephrase that for you:

If you don’t change the inside your outside appearance will only be temporary.

A few months ago

I realized the need to change my inner life and thought pattern a few months or maybe even a year ago, so I started my deep dive. That is when I started “Healthy Bagel.” I wrote the first blog post, but didn’t publish it and then backed away. Something was holding me back. I realize now I didn’t really want to do the deep dive into my mind. However, that was the only way real change would happen.

When I finally did look honestly at myself I realized the real reasons why I wanted to get ‘healthy.’ I use quotes, because I have no chronic illness, I’m hardly ever sick, and can be pretty active.

Here is what I realized about my reasons for being physically fit

  1. My BMI (Body Mass Index) defined my health in my mind and I used the BMI system as a way to keep my confidence down.
  2. My desire is to be more attractive
  3. I want to feel better about my physical body.
  4. Mainstream society’s weight limits and attitudes dictated my own.
  5. If I was a smaller size it would be easier to find a bra.
  6. Finally, I want to prove to myself I can be as fit as I want.

To put it simply I want to feel good about my body and increase my confidence.

How am I using my reasons to get healthier?

First I am looking at the beliefs behind the reasons. Why do I equate BMI with health? Why am I not feel great about my physical body? Why do I want to prove that I can be more physically fit? Why is my confidence tied to my physical appearance?

Some of beliefs are influenced by the society and culture I am a part of; others are more personal. I’m still explore which ones are which and how to overcome the limiting beliefs.

I do know that being physically active is a good thing and I do feel better when I’m taking care of myself, so that won’t change. I want to be the best version of me and currently that involves taking a journey towards being the healthiest I can be.

For more on my health journey check out the previous blog posts.

Poetry visual image for poem

Not Lost (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

I am not lost
Yet I will journey on.
My path leads into the depths,
into the forest of understandings;
Like a tree rooted in family
but growing towards the sky with each passing experience.
A bird who has freedom to fly
still returns to her nest.

I walk on, learning more of me,
seeing different sides.
I am a diamond with a multitude of facets,
a puzzle I’m piecing together.
I am not lost,
yet I still journey on.

I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.

God Shows Up blog series

Getting Confirmed – God Shows Up

by tiffanyGod Shows Up, LifePosted on No Comments

The lead up to The confirmation process:

I grew up with a base knowledge of Christianity through Catholicism. I would go to St. John’s Catholic church most Sundays. I don’t remember ever paying attention. Instead, I would sit in the pews and doodle back and forth with my sister.

When I started high school I was given the option of to be confirmed into the Catholic church. That seemed like the thing you were suppose to do, so in 9th grade I started the process.

I went to the classes that taught us the prayers and I guess religious knowledge. Nothing stuck. I do not know what I actually learned during those classes. I do remember that the classes took place in the basement of the school across the street from the church, and most of the time I felt pretty alone. I didn’t know anyone and I was shy. They all either went to the Catholic school or the public highs school. I went to a vocational high school and no friends from my junior high school went to these classes. I was the shy outsider.

In order to get confirmed you also had to do a certain amount of volunteer hours. I volunteered at a soup kitchen for community hours. Again, I didn’t feel like I quite belonged and didn’t know what I was doing. I just knew it was part of the process.

I finished all the requirements, but due to a scheduling issue I could not actually get confirmed with the classmates I had learned with. I was confirmed at my Memere’s church instead.

What happened shortly after confirmation:

Shortly after my confirmation I decided to look into my friend’s religion. I thought that if my faith was real it wouldn’t matter and I would be able to learn a different aspect of my friend. I soon found interest in this new religion and even started to believe in it. I chose to believe in what Wicca taught and became a pagan.

It took many years before I would even think about revisiting a church or remember that I was confirmed as a Catholic.

Looking Back:

Looking back, I turned away from Catholicism and Christianity, because I didn’t have a real faith. I also didn’t have a community that I could call my own. I felt more of a belonging with my Wicca friends, rather than my Catholic church.

My Catholic faith wasn’t really mine. I focused on what I ought to do with my Catholic faith. In contrast I focused on what I wanted while practicing Wicca. Both paths led me to finding who I truly am.

I needed to give away the gift of my faith to another religion, before being able to accept the gift of Christianity.

I do see God in all of this. He protected me through the years of disobedience and showed me the way to my own path.

If I didn’t go astray I wouldn’t be walking the path I am on now and would not have a deeper understanding of God or an actual relationship with the creator of the universe.

shoe poem visual art

Shoe (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

I once had a shoe.
Well, I had two.
The one that stayed lost her boo.
I do not know what to do.
I think it got on a plane and flew.
It must have gone all the way to Timbuktu.
I looked high and low, even under a tutu,
but nowhere could I find my other shoe.

Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio or watch a few of my poetry readings.

Healthy Bagel blog series

Healthy Bagel Confession

by tiffanyHealthy BagelPosted on No Comments

I have a confession I must share with you. I’ve already had set backs on this journey.

In the past month I’ve wanted to quit . My mental focus has been on my setbacks. It’s hard to start a new lifestyle. It’s hard to continually put the effort towards being healthy. That is what this whole thing is about. I’m really on a quest to find and live the healthiest lifestyle for myself.

I want to be healthy and be the type of person who just naturally chooses the healthy options. It would be great if I just naturally ate less sugar and less carbs. I would be happy if it was easy to decide to go for a run every morning.

Of course if that was the case then I wouldn’t be writing this blog or on this journey. I’m sure I will learn more and more things as I decide to do the hard, but healthy things.

The end result and quest itself may look different for you, but I hope you jump on this band wagon with em. It’s hard and the wagon may break down sometime, but it is worth the journey.

Even with the stumbles and set backs I have noticed a few changes, that no one else has noticed, yet. The changes have been slight, but they’re there. I’ve starting to see that my muscles have the desire to show themselves. They’re still shy and hiding behind a couple layers of fat. I’m also noticing my clothes are growing.

I’m still in the orange zone (191-199lbs), but honestly feeling okay with my progress at this moment. I currently have a great amount of energy, which is why I am feeling good about my progress.

1st Thing I’ve learned

Being emotionally, physically, or mentally drained are the cause of my setbacks. Willpower does take energy, so it makes sense that when I don’t have a lot of energy my willpower depletes quickly.

2nd Thing I’ve learned

I have also learned that when I eat like crap I feel like crap. If I eat sugar or carb filled stuff at night I’ll wake up feeling low or emotionally heavy, which makes me want to grab for a quick fix. The quick fix of course is sugar and carbs, which will help for a bit, but just repeats the blah feeling.

It’s also easier for me to continue to eat things I know is not healthy, because I swear sugar and carbs mess with my sleep.

I was eating clean, or clean for me, for a week; checking the sugar and carbs in everything and restricted my carb intake. I felt great and woke up fully refreshed, which I didn’t even realize was an issue.

Why Being Nice To Yourself Is Important

I had one or two slip ups, but regained control after my clean eating week. I still had plenty of emotional and mental energy to pull myself together.

Things were going well for about a week after that and then outside forces emptied my tanks of their energy. I’m slowly refilling my energy tanks, but as they fill I’m focusing on being kind to myself.

I don’t want to forgive myself for eating a pint of ice cream in one sitting or having pancakes with extra honey, but I know I should.

After I convince myself I need something unhealthy or eat too many desserts I need to forgive myself and move on. Holding on to regret or guilt, only makes me want to eat junk food more. Junk food can be a quick fix and fast comfort, but it’s fix and comfort fades just as fast.

I’m not giving up on my health though. I am re-evaluating and adjusting what I’m doing.

Like any goal or achievement you aim for you need to stay focused on the achievement, but be flexible on how you get there.

Poetry visual image for poem

Relax Your Face (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Let the sun shine on your face
feel my warm embrace,
as I smile and say
‘You can breathe
life is not a race.’

Relax with who you are.
Do not set high the bar.
You have your dreams,
you hold tight to your standards
yet true happiness and joy is not that far.

So let the sun shine on your face
and relax with who you are.

I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.