Paradox of Life (poetic random thoughts)

by tiffanymy creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

It’s like
the night wishing to be the day,
sunshine wishing to be the rain,
the light wishing to be darkness.

I strive to change
when there is no need.
I work towards a new life
when my own is wonderful.
It must be how I am wired
always looking for better
when I already have greatness
searching for more love
when love is already overflowing
and looking for sunshine
when there is not a cloud in the day’s sky.

Yes, I love my life
yet I fight for it to change.
I work towards my dreams
that may force my loved ones away.
I am happy with myself
but am always changing.

This is what is going on in my head right now. It’s part wondering and part simply realizing, I have a good life, yet I still am looking for more. 

Past never my Future

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I can see what people search for when they find my blog, or what they search for to find my blog. Today I saw a very cool sentence that I am sure is from something, but I’m not sure what it is from. I am going to use it as a writing prompt for this post. The quote is. “you can only narrate my past but you can never write my future.” 

I hope you enjoy.

You can narrate my past.
Please do,
and tell me all the things I went through.
Speak the words that you believe
the words that will add up to my story.
How do you see my life?
How will you narrate my past?

I ask you to narrate my past,
but you can never write my future.
I myself can only plan the unseen.
I do not write my story,
so you cannot either.
Let the future be
and tell me all about what has been.

Yes, You can narrate my past
but you can never write my future.
You can tell me my story,
but will not be able to force the unseen.

Tears (a monologue)

by tiffanymonologue, my creative selfPosted on No Comments

I’m going to try something new with my youtube channel when I get back from vacation. I will do more original things, like poetry readings, short storytelling, original monologues and maybe even scenes. You will my blog followers will get to read my stuff first and I will be reading the poems that get the most likes per week.

That being said the first original monologue that I will be doing when I get back is title “Tears.” I am hoping to put together an entire script with these different monologues, but I have to start some where, so here you go.

I broke down in tears today. I know you saw. I know you heard. I was praying to you to mend my broken and stressed heart. I was praying for a fix that would happen quick, when you whispered, “the work already has started and I already am doing my part.”

What more can I do? What more do you want, Lord? I cried out in pain, what is my part and where do I fit in? I am lost, angry, and tired of waiting around. Waiting for my real journey to begin. And I know you must have laughed at that because although I didn’t hear you over my crying and doubt I know you said my journey had already begun at the very start.

Look at how far you brought me, while I kicked and screamed. You carried me when I fought you, like a screaming baby all the way. You have great plans for me, or so I hear. They’re plans I do not see, so I scream. Yet, you will never let go of my heart even when I try to push you away.

My soul is a cranky child but you are always patient.I want the sugar and sweets of the world but you have given me the ability to reason instead. I never want to quit playing my own games but you put me to bed so I can rest. I want it all but you show me how. Yes, you show me myself and my life, past, present and future, when my tears come screaming out. So I thank you with dried tears under my eyes.

DreamWard Bound (5/11-5/17/14)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

This week was a busy week for me. Two days this week I went straight to different social things after work and on Monday I went to the DMV and an open house before work, which meant I had to work late. By Friday night I was exhausted, so of course Friday was one of the days I went straight out. I also had an event to go to this morning. I am not complaining about my busy week. It is just a lead in and explanation why this weeks goals mean more than most.

Even with my busy week I found time to be creative and read. I hardly watched television and practiced more of my monologue, that I will record tomorrow (in between serving at my church’s two services).

I also think I figured out a new fitness plan. I will take 2 fifteen minute walks a day during my work day and I will eat healthier. I also realized that it is better to do weight lost, since it is a more definite  tracking. After I lose 10 lbs I will get a new outfit, so the reward will be the same and the method is almost the same, but the tracking and when/ how I exercise is different.

I don’t have too much else to write. This week was more focused on living where I am at right now, rather than focused on the future and goals. I still meant most of my goals. I am becoming more relaxed with tracking my goals, yet I am still meeting them.

3/28 to 4/4 (DreamWard Bound)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

It amazes me at all that is happening in my life right now. It may seem small to an outsider, but it is changing me. I am feeling more confident with the direction of my life.

One of the small things was that I saw a friend’s premier film (Redux). You see this film is his first major film and I was blown away with it. If last week’s mishaps taught me to guard myself and that untalented script writers are out there, this week taught me that there is talent and trustworthy people filming movies. I already knew that my friend was good at filming and that he was a good person. Seeing his movie taught me that talent, skill and being a trustworthy person does not come with age, but hard work and a mind that wants to learn.

Another thing that happened this week was that I declined a day job, because I was offered a better one.  After three months of not working and trying to figure out life this was a major relief.  Being able to pick between two jobs is new to me, but it was an easy choice. I chose the one where I will be able to fund my art, work with friends, and have a cool job.  The other awesome thing with this is that I will be starting Monday.

I am doing this recap of my week in chronological order, so this is not bigger than my job. It just happened later in the week. I went to two music shows this week. I saw Beats Antique and Emancipator.  They both were awesome shows and I found a new band to follow (Slow Magic). Beats Antique was my favorite out of the two. I enjoyed Emancipator’s show it was simply Beats Antique was theatrical, amazing and awesome.  It was a stunning show that I was not expecting.

I also started to record readings of my poems. I hope to have all my poems recorded in the future.

This post may not seem focused towards living my dream or trying to but trust me it is to me.  You see watching Redux showed me I can be who I am in the film industry and have my films mean something. Getting a job will be a step to funding the films I want to make. Going to a show inspired me to be my type of artist and allowed me to release emotions in a different way. Also, going with my friend, Kateland, taught me a little more about being friendly and at least trying to be extroverted at times, which is needed in networking. And recording my poems, well that’s just another way to get my name out there.

Now, things I learned this week is:

  1. There is good film makers around
  2. I may have to have a non-art job, but that does not mean it has to be a lame non-art job.
  3. People like nice people and I can show them I am a nice person… I can actually talk to strangers, even though I may not like to.

success

Space-Riders: In the Ship (#3)

by tiffanyshort stories, Space-RidersPosted on No Comments

Space-Riders

#3

Otto, took his place in the pilot’s seat on the control deck with Zio taking a seat next to him as a co-pilot. “Do you have a flight program installed?” Otto asked.

“I have simple flying software installed. I should be able to help you fly the ship, but am not capable of flying a ship by myself.”

Otto nodded and started the engine. He would be able to fly his new LiBatto XZ952 space-ship, that he had named Aimi. Captain Otto smiled once her engines started up. Each engine made its own purring sound and Otto smiled grew as each of the 10 engines turned on.

Neither of them noticed the lady standing behind them. She was sitting against the wall and completed camouflaged. Her face and torso matched the wall completely and her lower half blended into the seat. Even when Zio looked around, he did not see her sitting there.

Once the ship was up in the air and heading to the next planet they were suppose to go to, the camouflaged lady started to snack on the chocolate covered raisins, she had bought in the town they had just left from.

The ride was smooth and uneventful until Otto punched in the coordinates of the planet where he was planning to pick up his first shipment using Aimi. The camouflaged lady had already visited Patarex, the planet Otto set as the destination, and had an almost lethal experience. She shook her head and the ship diverted from its path. Instead of heading toward Patarex it started to go in the opposite direction.

This confused both Otto and Zio. They both tried to work on a solution, but after 2 hours of trouble shooting and trying to turn the ship around they were defeated. All of the ship’s information and itinerary said they were going to Patarex.

Aimi, the ship was clever, she knew that the camouflaged lady did not want to be found out, but also knew that the others on the ship would not give up trying to turn her around unless she displayed what they wanted to see. She was not given a new location, so searched the universe for another planet, solar system or galaxy with the same name. She found a solar system named Patarex far away from the planet the captain wanted to go to and set her path.

 

Being led.

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Calm the calamity in my mind,

Because I know you’re here.

And, I know I’m right.

This path may look

the wrong way,

seem to go no way,

a dead-end

or have a brick wall in the way.

Yet, this path is

the one I’m on,

the one you lead me down,

the right road for me,

so I will walk this path

that some think leads no where.

Because I know

I will get where I going

and know that I’m being led.