insight Archives - Tiffany Joy

Tiff’s Tips: Do Not Be Afraid To Change

by tiffanyTiff's Tips November 3, 2020August 18, 2020No Comments

Some say that, the one constant thing in life is change. That is true. Change is chosen or forced on you, either way it will happen. Life is full of fresh adventures and pivots in your plans. Adjust to these redirections. You can either resist and fear the change or accept the new normal and adjust to it. If you resist and fear the change, that may cause more issues though. Not accepting the different way of life can stunt your creative or your general growth. You should not fear change, but embrace it and adjust to the new chapter in your life or creative career. Most changes are a new chapter in your story. They can be you turning down an alternative path on your life’s journey.

This tip goes along with another one; Try different things. Do not be afraid to allow life’s changes to move your creativity into another direction. When you embrace the changes, instead of fighting or fearing them you can grow from them.

Yes, it will be hard. It’s difficult to adjust to adjusting. There will be times when you need to focus on transitioning into this new chapter of your life, whether it is an enormous change or a small one. Transitioning into the new normal will be even harder if you resist or fear it though.

It is easier, in the long run, to go with the flow so to say or at least accepting the needed change. You’ll also save emotional energy when you don’t fear or resist the change. When you allow the changes to happen, you can even learn from the events that brought on the changes into your life or creative career.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Tiff’s Tips: Have Creative Friends

by tiffanyTiff's Tips, Uncategorized October 7, 2020September 29, 2020No Comments

The creative life can be hard and lonely. You will get stuck on ideas and take criticism for your work. This life will be hard, which is why having friends that are creative and a creative community is so important. They’ll be able to lift you up or get you unstuck. They’ll show you you’re not in it alone. There are other artists and creatives in the world going through similar stuff in their lives.

Yes, you will work alone if you are a painter, writer, or sculptor. You must practice alone if you are a musician or actor. There will be alone time while you create. Your creative friends will show you that others are doing the same thing. Everyone will get stuck or come up against an unfamiliar obstacle. That is part of growing and improving. All artists and creatives will have to deal with criticism for their work. Also, every creative person can improve with the help of others.

It may take time to cultivate a friendship that focuses on mutual creative trust and a feedback cycle. It is worth the work. You can find these opportunities in already established groups or events. There may take time and work to find the right fit, but you’ll be able to grow in your creativity when you do.

You will learn a lot from others and they will learn from you. You will improve your art with their help and they’ll improve with your help. These types of relationships should be beneficial to all parties.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Tiff’s Tips: Try Different Things

by tiffanyTiff's Tips August 4, 2020July 17, 2020No Comments

It is important in your creative life to try different things. You should experiment with different mediums, styles, and subjects. As you explore unique aspects of art or creating, you’ll find what you enjoy and also your own style. You will learn what does and doesn’t work for you. As you try unfamiliar things, you’ll also grow in your understanding of art and as an artist.

Trying new things is also good in life. With each unknown experience, you can learn more about who you are and life. Do not shy away from what is new or foreign to you. It’ll grow you as a person and artist if you let it.

I have many experiences where I tried unfamiliar things. A lot of them had to do with jobs I had. I tried out 9-12 jobs that could become a career. Funny enough, besides the ones I have now, I would only go back to cleaning dog kennels or theater carpentry. I just didn’t fit well with the others. Trying the different jobs I realized being creative was an important aspect in my career path.

I also experimented in my writing as you can tell if you look at my older writings. I’ve done short stories, poetry, articles, and even my memoir called To Love. In doing all this exploration I learned I am a fiction writer, poet, and love sharing what I’ve learned throughout my life.

In my visual art life I have drawn, sculpted, painted, and do digital art. I have done more than just those few things, but that has been my main focuses. In doing all that I learned that it is easiest and highly fulfilling for me to do digital art, but I also love painting. There is almost a need for me to paint. That is why I sculpt and draw less. My focus is on painting and digital art.

I have noticed recently that as you experiment and try new things, certain elements will remain. I will always be me, and my art will always reflect who I am. An example is that long before I focused on hearts as a series I have put or painted hearts in most of my visual art pieces. This is most likely because I focus my art and core on spreading love, happiness, and sharing my heart. I shared this focus of my life before I even realized it or spoke it.

Learning about your core and more about yourself are the 2 primary values of trying new things.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Love Nerd: Lessons From A Single’s Life

by tiffanyLove Nerd July 21, 2020July 17, 2020No Comments

You can learn a lot from every chapter of life if you keep an open mind and look for learning opportunities. There are lessons you can learn from a single’s life. There are always lessons. Once you’re comfortable being single, you’ll be able to learn a lot. Among the things I’ve learned while being single, there are two important lessons that stick out in my mind.

Lesson 1

The first lesson is that doing things alone is okay. You won’t spontaneously combust if you go to a restaurant alone. The sky won’t fall if you go to the movies alone. It is a valid choice to be out in public doing things you want to do with no one else. You can go to the beach without other people or go on hikes with just yourself. The more you are alone, the more you’ll realize how nice it is.

Lesson 2

The second lesson is that it is important to take care of yourself. When you are single, you don’t have another person to go on dates with or to pamper you. There isn’t someone making you feel special or talking to you about your issues. The wonderful news is that you can and should do that all by yourself. You can pamper yourself and do most normal date night ideas alone. Self care is important in any chapter of your life. When you are single, it is easier to find time to make self care a part of your life and routine. You can build habits of self care and see that you can do nice things for yourself.

It is liberating to become self-sufficient. It frees you from a lot of things you may assume you need to do or think you can’t do, because you are single. There are no rules against going out by yourself or taking care of yourself how you see fit. If you do, you may even find you are marvelous company.

Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Love Nerd: Neck Fat

by tiffanyLove Nerd June 16, 2020June 13, 2020No Comments

Story Time

If you read my book To Love, you know I’ve tried online dating. I tried 3 times and technically I am still on a site. I have had little luck with online dating, but I have gotten a couple stories from it.

My favorite story is one that took place during my second round of online dating. I started talking with a guy that lived on the other side of the country. It would be a long-distance relationship, but I didn’t want that to stop me. We both figured we should try to see if a long-distance thing would work.

We talked via texts for about a week, then had a video date. Because of work issues, the video date almost didn’t happen. When the date happened, I already had my pajamas on with messy hair. He was already relaxing in his bed in his pajamas, which did not include a shirt.

We chatted for a little, but he had to get off to help a friend who was texting him. After the call, I texted him to tell him I was getting ready for bed and I would talk to him the next day. He responded with saying he didn’t think we should continue the long-distance thing.

I asked “why.” He acted like it would offend me. My goal was to learn if it was something I should change. I wanted any feedback I could get too, since I don’t date too much. After a bit of prying, he told me his shallow reason.

His reason to stop talking, “neck fat.”

I immediately realized that was all on him. It didn’t offend me and I almost found his reason funny. He acted like he could break my heart. He told me he was aware of his shallowness and that he tried to get over his issues. It seemed like an actual struggle for him.

I suggested working through this struggle with God in prayer and meditation to which he responded with he had, but it’s just how God made him.

I stopped the conversation after that. If you act like something is an issue and want to change it, you can’t also say it’s just who you are. If you don’t like what you see in yourself or who you are, you do possess the power to change.

I love telling the story. I find the specificness with his shallowness funny. He did not care that I was not a twig or that I have a rounder body than he would prefer. It was specifically my neck fat.

I guess I shouldn’t have the phone like this.

Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Tiff’s Tips: Assess and Have Goals

by tiffanyTiff's Tips, Uncategorized June 9, 2020June 4, 2020No Comments

It is important to set goals for yourself and your creative life. I find the more often I write my goals down, the more focused I become in achieving them. Once you have your goals set, you must also assess your progress.

It will not be very helpful to you if you only write the same goals repeatedly and not assess your progress. Perhaps you’re setting goals that you’re not achieving. If you do that, it will add undue stress and pressure on you. Maybe it’s too easy for you to meet your goals. If your goals are too easy than your not challenging your self or improving. If you don’t assess them, you may not progress at the correct speed for you.

Goal setting is a balance and a dance. Some weeks or months you may achieve more than you thought, while other months you may not achieve that much. This is just the way of life. You shouldn’t expect success to be a straight line or even expect you will meet all your goals on the first try. The key is to not beat yourself up on the slow goal for months and accept that you can learn from failures too. This is a lesson I remind myself of often.

The best way I’ve found to use goals is as a marker on your journey. This is easier said than done, at least for me. When I set goals, I want to achieve them with flying marks, but sometimes life gets in the way. Other times I set my goals too high. There are times I meet my goals or surpass them, but often those times are few and far apart. The goal with goals is to see the progress over time and to keep you focus on the main path you’re on. You may have to adjust your goals while you are assessing your progress. If you do it for a long enough amount of time, you’ll see that your progress can motivate you further down your path. I know it has pushed me along my path.

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Love Nerd: The Joys and Downside of Singleness

by tiffanyLife, Love Nerd May 12, 2020June 4, 2020No Comments

In the “Chronically Single” post, I mentioned that being single can be a blessing. There are both joys and a downside to singleness.

Instead of being overly wordy I figured I’d list them out for you.

The Joys Of Singleness

I Don’t need to share the bed.
My sleep cycle is not interfered with by someone else’s.
My free time is my own to schedule. I don’t need to check-in with anyone.
I can spend more time learning about myself.
Time with God and growing in a relationship can be priority in my life.
My plans and the life I want to live are my own. I do not have to work around my partner’s desires
My money is my money, not our money, so I can spend it how I see fit.
I don’t have to worry about making food for anyone else. I can make what I want.

Joys of singleness from joys and downside of singleness

The Downside Of Singleness

My plans and the life I am living are my own. I don’t have someone to help me make life choices. It’s all up to me.
There is no real daily support with challenges in my life or other life stuff. If needed I have to actively look for support.
I need to do all the household chores.
My money is the only money I have to survive (there is no extra income from a spouse).
There isn’t anyone to challenge me to grow. At least not within my home.
It can get lonely being single.

downside of singleness from joys and downside of singleness

These are my own lists. If you are single, whether chronically or just temporarily single, I am sure your list is a bit different. I would love to hear what are the joys and downside of being single are for you. Let be know below or on one of my social media accounts (tiffyjoyberry).

Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Tiff’s Tips: Start where you are

by tiffanyTiff's Tips May 5, 2020June 4, 2020No Comments

This post may seem out of place, since he first 3 posts in this series dealt with where you are going. However, you first need a map before you can start your journey. Now that you know where you are going it is time to figure out where you are. Just like any other journey you can’t start from a different position. You need to start where you are.

You may say I need to start my journey across the street you still need to get across the street. Once you start walking across the street you start your journey to where you need to be. The journey starts when you start working or walking towards your goals.

This is the same with your creative life and creative goals. If you already answered the questions about where you want to go, you already started the journey.

Another point you need to be aware of is that you cannot expect to run if you are still crawling. Let me go back to the street analogy. If the bus stop is on the other side of the street you still need to cross the street before the bus can pick you up. That does not mean the bus will never pick you up, you just have to do something to get to the bus stop.

This may seem obvious and maybe realizing where you are in your creative life will be easy for you. Others may have difficulty with this.

My start

I know figuring out where I was and my first steps were not easy. Each time I looked around I was expecting to be in a different place in my creative journey. I thought I knew everything I needed to know, but when I stopped to assess I realized I was still at the beginning.

My end goal was and still is to become a full time artist, but it takes more than just doing art to make that happen. I needed to be research marketing strategies, audience growth plans, and just basic business stuff.

Once I had a rough map I needed to start actually working towards my goal and walking my journey. I needed to cross the street get on the bus, get off the first bus, hike a mountain, and do a little dance. I’m still on journey, but can see my start and how far I’ve gone. That is a good feeling.

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Love Nerd: Chronically Single

by tiffanyLove Nerd April 14, 2020June 4, 2020No Comments

What do I mean by chronically single and what is it like?

I define being chronically single as not going on a romantic date for over 5 years. This means you haven’t been in a romantic relationship or have had a romantic possibility for 5 years.

The short answer of what it is like is that it sucks and it is a blessing.

After you accept being single as the stage of life you’re in you can do a lot of things you didn’t realize you could do.

Going to dinner and a movie by yourself is a treat and becomes less awkward. Simply becoming more independent is a huge blessing that makes me feel free.

After awhile I realized I became happier and happier for my friends who find love. It turned from ‘why not me’ to ‘yay them.’ Happiness and love is not a competition it’s a celebration.

I am also able to see non-romantic love more and cheerish my friends and family more now that I stopped obsessing over my romantic life or lack there of.

Yes, I do still yearn for a romantic partner and someone to share my life with in a special way. However, it’s not the right timing yet.

I do pray for my future husband, whoever he may be. I am trying to keep my heart open to finding him. It’s not my whole life and I’m okay in the stage of life I’m in.

I’m learning a lot from being chronically single and loving what I’m learning, even if it is tough at times.

Want to read more?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Tiff’s Tips: Have an Ideal Life

by tiffanyTiff's Tips April 7, 2020June 4, 2020No Comments

Like any journey you need to know where you are going. You need a X that marks the spot. Part of that is defining what success means to you and figuring out if you are a hobbyist or artist. Another aspect of figuring out where you’re going is to have an ideal life.

Having an ideal life means that you know what you need in life and you have an ultimate end goal. When you are just starting out the perfect life you have in mind may be vague and hard to define. It’ll morph a bit and become more defined in time.

How I create my ideal life.

I regularly write my ideal life down on in my journal. This helps me to see if my heart is changing and also solidifies my ideal.

First I break my life into sections.

Spiritual
Job/ Creative Career
Relationships
Mental health
Physical health

I then write a few sentence about how I want my life to be in those areas of my life. If I have enough time I’ll then combine them into one paragraph explaining how my best life would look.

It is easiest to start with a rough idea and then work it into having an ideal day.

Example #1

In my ideal life I am a full time artist who is involved and active in my church. I have close friendships in whom I can trust and great relationships with my family members. I work out and journal regularly and eat healthy. I am consistently working on bettering myself in all areas, so that I can become the best version of myself.

Example #2

In my ideal life I wake up early, before 7, and pray before I read my Bible. I then do a short workout before I have my breakfast and start my day. Each work day is a little bit different, but I work long hours on my visual art and writing. Each day I also find time to text, talk to, or hang out with the people most important to me.

You see having an ideal life doesn’t need to be a long or highly detailed thing. It just needs to be clear and what you want your perfect life to be. It’ll help you keep on track.

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.