First you whisper,
then you walk close.
You talk,
telling me to focus
or maybe it was ‘relax’.
Either way you came
to distract,
although my aim was to ignore
and ignore I did
until the training was brought to its end.
You allowed me to ignore you,
but you were patiently waiting
gathering information for the fight.
You calmly waited
until I was alone.
I was still.
Then you erupted
with a thunderous shout
because I did not move
not how you wanted.
The movement caused you to no longer be ignored
my attention was yours.
As I relaxed you were in the way.
As I lay in bed you preventing sleep.
As I ate breakfast you interrupted.
Thankfully I could dig in my bag
to find earmuffs to your nice
and swallowed them down.
Then heated a towel
to sooth what was left,
eventually freezing you out after.
More ear muffs,
more heat, more cold
and then life was possible.
Let me live among the stars
Allow me to dance a jazz-square
on the moon.
If not teach me
how to trap my dreams in reality.
I will soar high
above my common life
living in the clouds of my desire
then like gravity
you pull be back
to where I sit.
Let me fly.
Let me soar.
Let me live,
even for a moment more.
Instead you pull me
chain me
and remind me of my fears.
Road blocks are made
while obstacles rise
like you forget what’s inside.
My heart will soar
I will fly.
You may be helpful
reminding me of reality
but my dear mind
you know my heart and my soul.
They will win.
I will live among the stars
and dance on the moon,
so please just step aside.
The other day I woke up and my body was a bit stale. I thought nothing of it until later in the day. I started to workout with Baguette. I stretched and then ran. I was fine until we started to do the floor exercises. I should restate that. It was not until I tried to do the floor exercises that I started to feel real pain. I was falling ungracefully as Baguette showed me what to do. Yes, she did the floor exercises and I flopped around. I wound up getting unnaturally twisted up and my staleness turned into real pain. It was so bad that I could not fall asleep that night.
Thankfully us Bagels heal fast with a little wet heat. I was back to my non-exercising self within a day.
This week, like last week, was a successful week for my dreams and goals. It was not so great for my body and pain level, since on Monday I hurt my neck rolling backwards at Jiu-Jitsu. I wound up pulling or straining it and had to take Tuesday off of work because I couldn’t really drive and did not sleep at all Monday night. I figured since I was almost in tears when I called up my carpool buddy to see what he thought about the traffic, I thought getting through the day at work might cause at least uncomfortable moments. Wednesday my neck was feeling better and now it’s almost all healed.
That is about my physical life though and I am more excited about my goal life. Things seem to really be coming together. I am working on a cover design for my Poetry book and even came up with a title. I also have the outline and rough draft for my kids book done. Finally, my web-series is coming along. I have a cast of four (with myself included) and would like one more person. The good thing is that I have decided on what they are meeting for, the way the new shy girl fits in, the characters names, and how many episodes will be in a season. In addition to all that, I have decided on the name of the production company it will be under. I will be starting Bagel’s Film Productions.
I was also able to publish four posts. These were all written after I got home from vacation, which is another positive thing. Â I also recorded two improv videos, but haven’t uploaded them. I will be publishing one of them today, after I finish this.
I will also be editing my novel. Hopefully  I can get a big chunk out of it.
Today’s post is on the shorter side, but I just want to go and do productive things. That being said, I will leave you of things I published this week.
Oh, there’s the reason.
There it lies,
on the floor of my mind.
It was hidden
behind ideas of romance
under longings of intimacy
neither the reason.
They only hide the truth.
This attachment to a stranger
with the idea of romance
longing for discovery of the deep
was caused by a dream of more,
just like reading my mind
told by another life,
this one also touched my soul.
He spoke my heart,
showed the world my hopes,
and told me I could be
the more of my dreams,
without even knowing my existence.
In a sea of knowledge
I’m surrounded by boats not fish
technology in the place of nature.
Pushing manual buttons
to answer virtual questions.
Even as I yearn for true life
I watch a mechanical fountain
as it pushes recycled water.
Electricity and lighted monitors
are my visual inputs,
with photo-shopped beauties plastered
all around the two-dimensions of my screen;
All the while knowing nature is so much more
fulfilling, beautiful, and inspiring.
It’s so sad that the shackles
of modern life keeps me coming
to the sea of knowledge
where I push mechanical buttons.
This was a very short poem, but I lengthened it. Let me know what you think and have a wonderful day.
Write a poem describing physical pain. Start the poem with creative imagery about how the pain started but then go into how it feels. What causes it to grow? Where is the relief?
Do you have a mentor? Write a character description about him/ her. What are they like? What makes them someone to look up to?
Retell a story you heard from a friend or someone else in your life. Use different names and if you forget a detail use your own imagination. Basically use a story you heard as a prompt, trying to keep it as close to the original as possible.
Two brother’s walk into a bar and start asking about the strange local crime that has happened. You hadn’t heard about anything strange, but the more you listen the more you realize you fit the target demographic. What do you do? What happens next? (yes, I am ready for Season 11 of Supernatural to start.)
You meet the person that you have you are the biggest fan of. You’ve waited in lines and get up to actually see him/her. What do you want to do? What do you actually do?
The journey to my dreams seem long today. Maybe it’s because I am looking at how far I have to go. Maybe it’s because work was stressful this week. Maybe it’s because I did not sleep well last night. I did drink 2 cups of caffeinated tea later in the evening. Maybe it’s something else that I am unaware of. Whatever the reason my journey feels like it is really just starting out.
I did work last night on my future plan and I am trying to figure out extra income, so that I can actually save significant amounts of money. I want to be able to meet with an acting coach for guidance and to figure out the best plan of action. I also want to be able to afford some acting classes. I also want to take a year off to focus solely on acting and creative stuff.  It doesn’t look like my novel will be published any time soon and even when it is I don’t know how it will sell.
I do know that I have a list of shorter writing projects that I can put together. One that I am working on is a kids book taken from one of my short stories. I am going to sketch the 1st draft today. Another idea is to put together a collection of poetry and creating art for each of them. The art would become the different pages of the book with the poetry incorporated on the page. There are a few more ideas, but those are the two I am focusing on at this moment.
I am also still working on figuring out a web-series. I have gotten as far as knowing 3 character types I want and the set up of the episodes. I want at least 1 more character and not sure what exactly I want the ‘activity’ to be. I also have to think about locations. I mean if I decide a play rehearsal is the way to go, that would require a theater. If it is a role-playing game, that would require a home or something that could pass as a place where nerds would gather.
As you see there is still a lot to think about with the web-series. There is also a lot to think about with my writing side projects. There is also the whole acting career plan. That is actually turning into a life plan. I think I found out why my dreams feel so far away. I am actually looking at how big they are and all the little steps I am going to be taking now. I am also working hard towards them with planning and creating. Â Yeah, I am either heading for a breakthrough or a mental break down.
While I figure out where I am going please take a minute to read where I’ve been or watch. I did publish a video this week. Anyways here is the list of things I shared this week.
Joy is a choice.
Love is an action.
How can you choose
Joy when you’re drowning?
What loving action can you take
when your soul is fighting to survive?
I escape from a self-inflicted prison,
now able to see
to breath
but still hurt by hits
fired from one who knows
where the wounds will be effective.
Still I will love
and find a way to choose joy.
The hurt will heal.
I will not cage my caring or my calling.
Joy is a choice I am choosing.
Love is an action I will do.
