"Joy" Tag Archives - Page 21 of 33

DreamWard Bound From The Tired Week (1/7/14)

by tiffanyDreamward bound January 17, 2015May 24, 2020No Comments

This past week tired me and frustrated me. It just seems like a bunch of little things aren’t going right at this moment. I fought to log into my google account because I forgot my password and then forgot my password for this blog. I wound up locking out my account and could not get back into the account until last night. Plus there is a tax issue thing and other small annoying issues that are just making it hard for me to want to do anything creative.

It doesn’t help that I haven’t worked out or done anything physical since I’ve been home. I almost went to a BJJ class today. I have my gi, I was up early enough, but my bed was comfortable and after I dragged myself out of bed YouTube sucked me in.

I was able to post the poems that I wrote during my vacation. Although, I did not get to write anything else, because all the issues distracted me.

I am hoping that I do snap back into myself and my schedule this week.

Now, here is what I posted this week. Please, let me know what you think.

Weekly Writing Prompts

Where I Wear My Heart (A Poem)

Vacation (A Poem)

Self (A Poem)

Here (A Poem)

Oh and I also worked on a few pages recently. This is because I got rid of my portfolio page and I am now working on integrating all that information onto this website. I have published my resume, acting page, and author page so far. I will be continuing to edit and polishing them, along with my artist page which will be up once I add all the pictures.

I guess things are happening. It’s not as much as I would like, but I always want to do more.

Where I wear my Heart (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetry January 15, 2015May 23, 2020No Comments

I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve.
It is not on a piece of clothing that I wear.
My heart is easily concealed
and easily shown
on my claves
and on my chest,
painted with pain
each part properly placed.

Here is my family
always a part of me
like a vine of flowers
on which I stand,
first known and first inked.

Here is my claim
that I love God and he me,
the closest to my heart,
the hardest to make part,
shining what I believe
the easiest to see.
Love is at the center of the cross.

Next, let me show you
my smile.
The only one of my inked on hearts
that speaks clearly its words.
‘We’re all mad here,’
it smiles
reminding me, always,
that everyone is crazy
in their own special way,
so keep on smiling
because you are crazy too.

The last for now,
my truest of true heart
blossoms forth
beautifully claiming
each friend then and now
whether at my center
or closer to the start
has created my heart,
either with love or with hate
and will forever be part of me.

You see I do not stand alone.
I stand on my family,
supported by my friends
with God at my heart
and a smile always near by,
so I inked them with pain
as a reminder
and a claim
that no matter what happens
everyone
in my life and in my heart
in at least one way will never part.

Vacation (Poem)

by tiffanyPoetry January 14, 2015No Comments

I need a vacation
from my vacation
to remember my life.
Funny how things are funny
when you rather work
than relax;
rather long days
than days of nothing,
so give me gifts of projects,
show me love by showing me a plan.

I needed time away
to know how much
I don’t need time away.
Now work is a happy burden
keeping my schedule a pleasant task.

Self (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetry January 13, 2015No Comments

I lost myself
when I ignored myself,
not trusting my heart
not listening to my soul.
The gentle whispering
saying no was dismissed.
I turned away from myself
and hid myself,
so I lost myself.

Now I will find my heart
when I fly to the light
and can be bathing in support.
Will myself snap back in?
Will I come out of my hiding place,
when I am home
and my soul feels safe?
Will I then find my heart.

Here (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetry January 12, 2015No Comments

Here are the chains
I clasp on to my wrists.
Here is the weight
I tie to my heart.
Here is the knife
I slowly stab into my soul.
Here is the prison
I hide myself in.

I cannot unchain myself
from the chains I claimed.
I cannot untie or cute the rope
that holds down the weight on my heart.
I cannot heal the hurt
from the knife in my soul.
I cannot unlock my prison
that I once locked myself in.

So, I give you my chains,
please undo their locks.
I give you the weight,
please cut their ropes.
I give you the knife
please heal my wounds.
And I give you my prison,
please turn it into a home.
Yes, I give you my everything,
please make me whole.

DreamWard Bound After an Absence

by tiffanyDreamward bound January 10, 2015No Comments

I have not posted in a while. It has been about 2 weeks. One week I was on vacation and the next I was sick. I went to work, since each day I thought I was getting better only to realize by the end that I was exhausted. I had no energy to work on this blog, write, or do anything really. I am still fighting my lack of motivation and this cold, but I know I need to just start writing again. I need to get back on the DreamWard bound road, so this is me trying.

After the vacation and new year I am wondering if I actually have the same dreams and plans I did in the beginning of last year. I keep asking myself what do I really want and what really is possible. I am sure when I answer all my questions there will be another post about that. I need to figure out the answers first and seeing how it’s taking me all day just to write this post it may be awhile before I can really answer what is next for my creative life.

Right now, I just know that I need to get back in the rhythm of my life that was before vacation and sickness. I also need this cold to fully go away, so that I can get back to training and actually start Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes.

I will be posting all the things I wrote on my flights and during my vacation this coming week. One of the posts will be a start to a series that I hope will be more interactive, but I will explain all about that later.

Since, I did not write or post anything this last week I will simply end this post. I hope you enjoyed this post which felt more like rambling than a DreamWard Bound Post.

Can I? A Poem

by tiffanyPoetry December 24, 2014No Comments

Can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
Will I then be alright?
Will that then calm my heart
or could this just be the start?
All evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
Life and the world
is saying turn away
but my heart is saying no.
No to taking a step back,
no to giving up before it starts,
no to doing what is smart.
Yet, if I call you
I wouldn’t know what to say.
If I heard your voice
mine would run away
and I would be helpless
if your laugh was brought from far away.

Can I call you up,
before anything really starts?
Can I hear your voice,
some how see your face?
Can I tell you that
your mind seems so brilliant,
your strength seems so foreign
and your smile is so enticing?
Can I share with you
my thoughts and how I see you?
One of which is you as
my ideal which frightens me,
a strange tough work of art
that makes me want to inspect more,
but when I get to close
I must turn away,
because your eyes
they seem so knowing
so frightfully knowing
and prefect.

Can I call you up,
before I know what to say?
Can I hear your voice,
even if you are not on my list?
You are not the person,
that my created wish list created.
You only have the needed traits,
the non-negotiable and absolutely needed parts.
What about the goofiness,
and where is the sense of humor?
How can you seem so great,
but lack the lightness I seek?
How would you fit in my family,
when you are not even a little crazy?
You see you are too sane
to be my ideal.
You are too put together
to have me by your side.
No, see you don’t have the things
I have said I don’t need,
so you must not be the one for me.

Still can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
I want to even though,
all evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
I want to because you seem to be
my ideal which frightens me.

I wrote this on November 29, 2014 to help me with a crush. I saved it for a bit of time, so that it would not be so fresh when I published it. Since now I have started the process of getting over this crush I feel like I can now publish this work of art.

I hope you enjoy.

Questions (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, Poetry December 22, 2014No Comments

For a little while now I have had a feelings for someone, well a crush on someone. I have written a few poems about this and have not posted them, because it was too fresh. Now, that it is on the tail end I feel comfortable sharing the poetry I wrote.

If I write about you
will these butterflies fly away?
If I admit my feeling
will my heart slow its racing?
If I stare at your picture
will my heart remember to beat when I see your face?
Can you answer my questions?
Let me know you’re listening,
show me you care
or should I back away,
silently slink into the shadows,
back pedal and back up,
should I let you know
or let these feelings go?
Can you answer my questions?
Say you’ll slowly signal for more
or tell me to take off.
Either way speak,
answer my questions
that I cannot ask.

Crush

by tiffanyrandom ramblings December 20, 2014No Comments

I do have a crush. It is a crush with the knowledge that the name of it is coming. Like an attack on my heart temporarily wounding my soul.

If there were real dating leagues he would be one higher than mine. If you write him on paper he would be the perfect of husband material. I could ignore the league and rip the paper. Yet, I cannot ignore the melting of my heart when he smiles.

I want to be safe in his arms, nuzzling close to his heart. I want to invite him into my world to see the serious turn silly, which I’ve seen glimpses of. I want to join his world and learn how strength feels.

I would invite him, let him know that my heart skips a beat when I see him; tell him that his smile melts my heart. I would tell him anything and everything, except my insecurities creep up. The voice I promised myself I would ignore shouts that he is on a pedestal to high for me to get. The voice of my insecurities and fear yells that I am not worth his love and I think him so grand that I believe it. I won’t let him decide how he feels. I will wait until I can’t take the waiting, worrying and fame of what ifs, become more than I can bear. One I am convinced one way or the other I will buckle down and confess in a way that does really give him a real choice. That is when my heart will be crushed and my feelings will bleed with salt water from my eyes.

Yes, my heart will be crushed or maybe there is another way. Perhaps this time will be different. I don’t know how to flirt or read subtle signs, but I can be bold. I can ask for advice. I can request help in understanding my real options. There is a way to be open in the middle of my fear.

I will try this time and if my heart is crushed than my friends can help me glue it back together. Yes, I will go into battle to fill my heart’s desire with a medical kit if it breaks.

Clouds (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetry December 19, 2014May 23, 2020No Comments

I flew back east to be with my family on Tuesday and have been focused on this trip all week, which is why I have not posted anything most of the week. I am now back on my computer and have a bunch of writing from my flight to publish. Here is the first poem.

Magical puffs
of frozen fluff
drifts gently,
drifts gracefully by
as I sit yet fly
with the Sun beaming in
as I travel to see my kin.
I simply sit
and see where the puffs’ shadows hit
over the hills and farms
and over the homes with alarms.
Yes, I sit yet fly
as the graceful fluffs drift on by.