Sub-letter #30 To love excerpt

Sub-Letter #30 (To Love Excerpt)

Sub-Letter #30 is the last excerpt from To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

Please know that the headers are placed for blog readability and highlighting certain parts. They do not appear in the book.

Sub-Letter #30

Dear Dearie,

It has been about 2 weeks since I wrote about online dating. It feels like it was longer. Perhaps it was longer. I didn’t mark down the exact date that I signed up. It doesn’t matter, because I stopped.

Online dating felt like work and more than I wanted to do. My brain related it to searching for a job or a house. It differed from a job or house search tough. Instead of sending a couple emails, then going to an interview that is scheduled days in advance, I found that there should be at least one message a day. Sometimes the guy attempted to schedule them on the same day. That method brought out anxiety and fear for me.

I need to prepare and free up time. I can’t change my plans easily in my mind, so can’t drop everything to meet a stranger at a coffeehouse on the same day of being asked.

Still, although I did not like online dating, I learned from it.

The first thing I learned is obvious. Online dating is not like You Got Mail. It is not romantic or fun for me.

I am sure it is great for others. There are success stories. It is just not for me, at least not for me right now.

Also, I learned that even though I want to find you and start that part of my life, I can wait. I would rather wait with high standards than lower or change them and marry someone now.

What I need

There is no rush, I do not need you right now. What I need is the right you. I am okay with being single. This chick is awesome and a hoot to be around. I can entertain myself and make decisions on my own. Plus, my friends can give me advice and support. My point in saying all of this is that I appreciate that I am loved and I love myself. One day, you will love me and love you. I can have patience and wait for that day.

After I stopped looking for you on the dating app, I thought about how I want to describe you when I am certain you are you. How I would know you are you? In my mind, I was being interviewed. I made it into a daydream that took place after we met and everyone was aware we were in love.

In this daydream, you are the interviewer.

I guess you don’t really need to be an interviewer in this daydream, but that is how this daydream goes. We are both successes and we are doing an interview together, where you are interviewing me. You ask how I knew you were the one for me.

I answer with, “You are the only one for me because you are not perfect, but you are perfect for me. Just like every other human, you are broken and flawed. Your broken pieces do not match mine, just like your flaws are not mine. Instead, your flaws and brokenness complement mine and my flaws and brokenness complement yours. It is like a complicated puzzle. Your flaws either challenge me or are like a puzzle piece that my flaws interlock with and strengthen us together.”

Our life together will not be a “happily ever after” type of life. Yet, we will support each other, push each other, learn from and with each other. Most important, we will journey down the path of life together. We will go through hard times on that journey, but we will also enjoy great times.

The start of our journey together excites me. I look forward to working on our wedding vows and vowing them in front of family and friends when they are done. I can’t wait to find out how your flaws interlock with mine and learn how you will help me grow.

As I write this sub-letter, you are 100% percent real to me. There is no doubt and no fear in my mind. I am enthralled because I get to meet you and love you one day. Finding out who you are overwhelms me with excitement.

Okay, enough about that for now. I don’t want to fly away, and I may with all these happy thoughts. I have another poem to share.

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. Also, I created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

Tiff's Tips blog series logo

Tiff’s Tips: Regularly Reflect On Your Journey

Regularly reflect on your journey Tiff's tips series

As you take risks, embrace change, and achieve your goals, reflect regularly on your journey.

Some times it’s hard to be aware of your progress and track valuable milestones. Creating goals often and assessing the goals may not be enough. It is easy to lose track of your overall progress and forget how far you’ve come in your art journey.

We all start somewhere with our creative life and we can get caught up in creating that we forget that we’re making progress. I started with art and writing as a passionate hobby. It would rub me the wrong way when someone called it a hobby, but that is what it was. My desire was for my creativity to be more. However, at the start of my journey it was only something I did in my free time.

My Journey

I then took actions and plan more time around my writing and painting. The act of planning my time around my creative was the first actual step in my artistic career. It was not my last step, though. I shifted my life more and more so I could make it a business and my career. I’m still working on making it a successful business, but I have been meeting wonderful milestones.

One way I track my milestones is to write achievements in a notebook. This way when I’m unaware of my progress, I can look back at all the wonderful stuff I’ve done. Some milestones are things I can control, like publishing “To Love.” Other milestones are outside my control, like making $100 from “To Love”. It is a wonderful practice to track both what your actions and the actions of your audience.

In the recent past, I’ve also used time tracking apps to see how I’ve increased in my time spent on different projects and on my art business.

My personal journal also has notes on my artist journey. When I journal, I do reflect on how my art has changed and looking at how I feel my goals and dreams are going.

I do also have an art business notebook where I take notes on ideas, research, and plan out my business and career. I can go back and examine how my business has morphed and changed over time, which is helpful in keeping me moving forward.

All this regular reflection has kept me motivated and recharges my inspiration. I have evidence written down that I’m already making progress, so I want to keep going.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Church a poem blog banner

Church (A Poem)

I've been in battle 
with the word all my life.
The hard distant pews 
were too hard of seats for me.
It meant too much 
then too little.
I saw the rules as chains
so it's funny
that when my soul breathed
church is where those chains were broken
and I was truly set free.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Let Me Be (A Poem)

Let Me Be (a poem) image
Let me be
in the warm summer air
hugged by loved ones
with their children near.
Let me be
in the lovign garden 
without a single care
with smiles on the faces of those I hold dear.
Let us be
together for now and always.

I wrote “Let Me Be” in July 2020 while I waited for my delayed summer vacation. I was missing my family and longing for our annual summer vacation, which is always a time to relax and be surrounded by love.

Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

A Romantic Monologue To Love Excerpt

A Romantic Monologue ( To Love Excerpt)

A Romantic Monologue is the next excerpt from my new book To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

A Romantic Monologue

[A lone female in a flowing floor-length dress with a dark pattern, stands center stage on an empty black stage with a solo pale amber spot light. She starts with her eyes closed.]


Female
Let my mind be clear of thoughts of you. Quiet my heart from the daydreams your appearance creates.

[Her eyes open. She looks into the audience.]

How do I make reality out of these girlish fantasies? You are further than a world away; living among the nobility of this age, while I toil with only my dreams as an escape.

Truly the dreams are but mere lies, that my heart tells my mind. Perfection such as yours cannot honestly exist. You must wear a gentleman’s mask as a ploy for the ladies of your kingdom. Yes, the bright, warm person on display must hide a rotted center. I am sure that the loving smile and open heart is an act to create loyal subjects.

How would a charming prince, such as the one portrayed, survive in this cold hard land? The noble are as wicked as the corrupt rulers, that allow the wealthy to step on the poor? Understanding how a heart can stay intact and open, while among the pressures of aristocracy is beyond my mind.

Perhaps a day will come when fate will bid us a meeting, then my aloof admiration will yield to knowledge of your inner workings and reveal a beautiful mind. If fate is so kind, then my girlish fantasies will release into reality. Until that day comes, I will assure myself that you have perfected your art and the public is seeing a seduction act.

[FADE TO BLACK]

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. I also created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

I'll Wait: A Throwback Video

I’ll Wait: A Throwback Video

I’ll wait is a poem I wrote in 2014 and a throwback video. It performed well on my site, so I did a poetry reading recording of it for YouTube. It then did pretty well on YouTube and is one of my throwback posts.

My throwback posts are my attempt to highlight some of my older work to display my growth, while making sure the work is properly promoted.

I will wait for inspiration to come
for thoughts like a word bubble 
to appear above my head.

I will wait 
until my mind is ready
and my brain turns on
like a computer boting up.

I will wait until my body tells me
it is time to write
and then when patience is no longer needed
and inspiration comes
I will write.

I will write 
watever my mind tells me to write.
My mind whispers to my fingers
and what is scribbled 
in the thought bubble above my head.
When I know what to write
I will ready my body
unleash my mind
and write
but until then
I will wait.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Breathe a poem

Breathe (A Poem)

I remind myself
Breathe.
Close your eyes if you must
but breathe.

One, Two, Three.
Inhale the exhale.
Your heart doesn't need to beat so loud.

Breathe. 
There is no real danger,
nothing to truly fear,
so breathe.

Breathe
in with the peace that surrounds you
out with the anxiety that built.

Breathe
in with the love we share
out with the bottled up fear.

Breathe
sometimes I need to remind myself 
to breathe.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Where Are You? (A Poem)

where are you? (a poem)
God, where are you
when the world seems dark?
Lord, where are you
when I've lost my way?
Savior, where are you
when I feel alone?
My King, where are you 
when your throne seems far away?
Father Above, where are you
when my heart breaks and turns numb?
Father Above, My King, Savior, Lord, and God
where are you in this day?

God, you are the light of a new day.
Lord, you are the dim lamp that lights my way.
Savior, you are the one holding me up.
My King, you are by my side.
Father Above, you are hugging me tight.
Father Above, My King, Savior, Lord, and God
you are with me making day from my night.

Typically, I publish my poetry towards the end of the month not in the middle of it. However, I really loved how Where Are You came out and couldn’t wait to share this poem with the world.

Sometimes you can’t see God and feel alone. However, He is always there. Most of the time you just have to look for Him. Know He loves you and He is with you.

Want More

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Sub-letter #11 to love excerpt

Sub-Letter #11 (To Love Excerpt)

Sub-letter # 11 is another excerpt from my book To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

Please know I have added headers to this post that are in the book. It is simply for the blog formatting.

Sub-Letter #11

To my impending pookie,


I’m not writing in the coffee shop today. I am writing in my little studio apartment that overlooks a valley. Well, it would overlook a valley if trees were not in the way. It is still an amazing view.

It is nice writing here. I don’t have people walking by or people talking to distract me from my work. I am doing the distracting all by myself.


A squirrel will run up a tree near my window and I will then stare at the rough muted brown bark of the tree. When the wind rustles a small sapling that lives on the hillside, I will get lost in how the light and shadows make different shades of green. Sunbeams that hit the leaves make a light, happy green that I’m almost positive they bottled to create one of my bottles of paint. The shadows cool the green and adds touches of dark blue into the hue.

Middle School Romance

I will fight the distraction by telling you a story from my childhood.
When I was in middle school, I had a crush on a cute boy who was shorter than me. That made no difference to me. He was popular and was a cool kid. My little tween heart thought he was great.

One morning before class started, he walked up to me near our lockers. He had a question for me. This meant he noticed me, and my answer was at least interesting to him. I was excited to give him whatever answer he needed.
He asked me if I would be his best friend’s girlfriend. That wasn’t the question I wanted him to ask. I still said yes.

By lunch it seemed like everyone knew. I sat with my friends at our normal lunch table. One friend asked me if I was planning on sitting with my boyfriend. My answer to them was no and explained that he could come to me. I didn’t care enough to go to his table and felt as though if he wanted to be my boyfriend, he could put forth the effort.

In my mind there is a question if I ever talked to him again; I don’t remember talking to him. In all honesty, I can’t even remember his name. Maybe it was Pete, perhaps Paul, or it could have been Dave. Paul sounds almost correct, but I don’t think it was that. I even tried asking Ms. Music who was my friend and should have known his name. She came up blank though.

Present day distraction

In the present time there is a fly on the window sill that my desk faces. The little black fly is right in front of my desk. He seems to want to talk or he can’t find the opening of my crank window. Mr. Fly has a good size escape route, but can’t seem to figure the right route.

He found the opening. He just escaped the prison of the window sill. Perhaps he just needed a break from flying and was not stuck. I would like to think he is now off on a journey. No! A hero’s quest; in order for him to fulfill his life’s mission. He must now find the stinkiest pile of fly food and share it with his one true love. I am assuming in this random train of thought flies do have love. I know this may be significantly flawed, but whatever. It is how my mind is distracting me.

I will fight the distractions again with another story from my childhood.
This story is even older than my first boyfriend story. Truth be told, it’s more of my memèrè’s story. I only know it, because she’s told me it multiple times as if I remember.

The Neighbor Boy

I must have been around five. You should know I was never a girly girl and hardly ever wore skirts on my own accord. These facts are relevant to the story.
When I was young, I lived across the street from my grandmother, who I call memèrè, and the family pig farm. My memèrè was watching me, but I ran across the street to my home. I put on a nice, pretty skirt. It was white with little pink flowers and made of tough material, like denim. They may have been cherry blossoms, but they were on a vine. It is the one skirt I remember owning when I was a kid.

When I came back to my memèrè’s, I was in the skirt. She asked me why I changed. My answer was that I wanted to go play with the neighbor boy, and I wanted to make sure he noticed me. I guess I had a little crush on him.

If you get to meet my memèrè, it won’t surprise me if she tells you this story. She’ll also point out I still had shorts on underneath the skirt.

The only time I remember wearing a skirt when I was a kid is when I wore one while playing kickball. I slid into home plate and skinned my knees. I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to slide into any plate in kickball, but I did. My memory has me wearing the same white skirt with pink flowers.

It may have been my favorite skirt as a kid. More likely the details of the skirt were not important enough to save correctly, and my memory is adding a likely detail.

More Distractions

Okay, I just got distracted because I looked at my television. The different shows I could record popped into my mind. I also have shows recorded and others I could stream. Maybe I should restart the show about a mad man in a box or the show about two brothers and an angel.

Even the way I stacked the two used tea bags from my earlier drinks is making my mind wander. I wonder if they will fall or if I could use them for some weird art project. Perhaps I can just use them to stain a canvas as a base color. I’ve only used tea to stain paper to make the paper look old and distressed. Using tea bags to stain or paint a canvas is something I’ve never tried.

I think I need to share my writing with you and go do something else for a little while.

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. I also created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

Poetry visual image for poem

Don’t Buy My Heart (A Poem)

Don't agree with me
when you know we can't be.
Don't stand too close
when my religion feels lost.
Don't buy my heart
when you know one day we will part.

For cuddling seems to near
and that is one thing I fear.
Having the possibility
of home among your arms,
not wanting to release you from my own.

I forget my reasoning,
the excuses are dispearing.
I am alone with the thought
that my heart you may have already bought,
with your laughter and joy
with your friendship and smile
with your intelligence and being loyal
and that would mean all my plans are foiled.
Because the list of how you bought my heart,
well, that could go on for miles.

Don't agree with me
when you know we can't be
So don't buy my heart
when you know one day we will part.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio . You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.