Dreams Fighting Reality is a poem I wrote a while ago. I recorded it as a poetry reading back in 2014.
Dreams Fighting Reality
My dreams danced away together
from my very own reality.
Like ballerinas trapped within my mind
They danced away
so I could not find the love I wanted;
The love I wished was mine.
Yes, my dreams slowly danced away
when reality told me
he was here to stay
But he seems to have strayed
because here comes my dreams
on this new day.
My dreams once again dance near by
as I force my reality to be mine.
Because this fight for what is right,
what is fair and what must be
has left a hole deep inside of me
so I fight to keep my dreams
and I fight to change my reality
Here is an older poem of mine called The Sea Limerick. I do have another poem that is just called, The Sea. They are two completely different poems and I honestly didn’t realize that I named two poems basically the same thing until I was looking for videos to do Throwback posts for.
The Sea Limerick
I went to the sea to see you see. Yet, I  could see nothing but the sea. So I went to the shore Just so I would be sure That I could still see beyond the sea.
Want More?
The original post is still available to read, along with other poems of mine. If you would like to watch more poetry readings I do also have a YouTube Playlist for that.
Here I stand is an original monologue I wrote in 2014. I noticed a few months ago it wasn’t on this site, so here it is.
Here I stand: Monologue
Here I stand. I am standing on my own two feet, wishing that they were not attached, so that I could move around and see exactly where I am standing. Where am I standing? What am I doing and why am I staying?
Still at least I’m standing on my own two feet, right? And I have the world ahead of me. I am making it on my own. Yes, I am doing my own thing living this adult life. Still I have questions and I never know if I’m doing everything right.
Most days, actually, I know I’ve done at least one thing wrong. But I’m making it on my own. Living my own adult life, alone. Yes, I am standing on my own two feet, but you know what sometimes I wish I wasn’t. I wish that there was some sort of clear arrow pointing me one way or the other. But, I guess the adult life doesn’t entirely work that way. So, here I stand. I am standing on my own two feet.
Hold Tight is a poem I originally published in 2013 and did a recorded reading in 2014. It is this month’s throwback highlight video. This poem is all about holding tight to what is important.
Gripping, ripping
holding tight.
Waking, working
until it's night.
Sleeping, dreaming
but nothing is right;
not here,
not now
when anxiety builds,
and work drains.
Not when my goals
are so far away.
Still I"m
Gripping
to the one I call Lord;
Ripping
away from my old self;
Holding tight
to the promises of God.
Waking
to a new day
and working
until it's night.
Yes I"m
Gripping, ripping
holding tight.
Waking, Working
until it's night.
Sleeping, dreaming
waiting for everything to be right.
A week or two (maybe three), you may have noticed a change to my blog. I changed the theme and added a logo/ painting to the top of the site. This same painting is on my YouTube channel, Twitter profile, and Facebook page as backgrounds.
This painting was a fun one to do because the only rule I gave myself was that it had to represent me in some way. I used my favorite color combination, which is blue and yellow. I tried to add in something other ones, but it the end it was blue and yellow that lasted. I also made sure to throw in some wave looking things at the end, since I love the water so much.
I recorded myself painting this video and sped it up. Then I added The Beetle’s song From Me To You. So take a minute or two to watch this painting that is a little part of myself that I give to you.
Thank you for reading, watching, and generally supporting me. Please let me know what you think.
Want More?
On YouTube, I do have a playlist dedicated to sped up paintings. I also have a section on this site where I share my visual arts portfolio along with my painting portfolio.
I just recorded a video that talks about connecting with a character. I had written everything out, but I did not memorize what I wrote so the video is a bit different. I wanted to make sure I shared both though, because I believe they both have value.
First here is what I wrote. The video is below the write up.
The steps towards my goals I want to talk about is connecting with a character. It is something that I believe an actor has to do to portray a character justly. Something needs to snap in place and you the actor has to feel right with the character you have to fully get the character you are portraying.
I have struggled with this as you can see in my precious videos or at least I can see it in the stated songs and poetry readings I’ve done. Something just wasn’t clicking, the character I was trying be were just words. They had no life to them.
Well this week at my improv group a character clicked with me. I really feel like I did the character justice even if it was a silly improv game. I still made that connection, which has been a while since I could say that.
Thinking about it I wonder if I just haven’t realized it at improv before or if it’s growth. Either way it is a boost of confidence for me and reassurance that I can act. I just need to find the character in the words and figure out how to bring the scripted ones to life.
This week’s Stated Song is Storybook which is from the musical Scarlet Pimpernel. When I was younger I was in voice lessons to learn how to sing and this was a song I remember very fondly  doing. I really like the dreamer’s voice and attitude. Some days I feel this same way. Some days I feel like I am just a dreamer with no real love. However, I am lucky, because I do have real love. I have a wonderful family and friends who love me. Yet, since I don’t have a ‘lover’ I do feel like I am missing what is real love, which is what this song is about.
Listen to me, I have beautiful dreams I can spin you
Dreams to linger within you
Close your eyes and we’ll ride my carousel
I’ll tell you stories of lovers whose love used to fill me
And the lovers who will be
For, you see, love is one thing I do well
Come, let’s believe love can be just as sweet as it seems
Let’s live on dreams!
In my dreams such beautiful lovers have found me
Storybook lovers surround me
Nothing is real, but I’m flying, sighing
Where is my storybook ending?
Why does my golden pretending
Leave me with nothing to hold but my dreams?
Oh, is it only in dreams that we find our ideal love?
Are there lovers with real love?
If you know how to feel love, show me now
but my prince, if you can’t be as sweet as you seem
I’d rather dream
Come and wake me!
Come be the love I can hold now
Storybook love leaves me cold now
Show me the way to stop dreaming
There is only one perfect storybook ending
That is the end of pretending
That is the moment I say, love me now!
I normally do not like posting twice in one day, but I just finished an abstract painting that I’m calling “Heart On Fire.” It is very different from the other post so thought I would share it with you.
This painting started with a vague idea in my mind, but I was not sure how it would come out. It was my first attempt at painting a heart on fire. I do like how it came out. The purpose of this painting is to display the passion that is in at least my heart that shines even when the surroundings are dark.
The video is the recording of me painting it and the pictures are of the finish product (in case you could not tell).
When the sky is a bright canary yellow
I forget every cloud I’ve ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green.
I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That we’re done and we might as well be dead,
But I’m only a cockeyed optimist
And I can’t get it into my head.
I hear the human race
Is fallin’ on its face
And hasn’t very far to go,
But every whippoorwill
Is sellin’ me a bill,
And tellin’ me it just ain’t so.
I could say life is just a bowl of Jello
And appear more intelligent and smart,
But I’m stuck like a dope
With a thing called hope,
And I can’t get it out of my heart!
Not this heart…
I really had a fun time doing this monologue/ stated song. I enjoyed making this one the most, so far. Please let me know what you think.
This weeks Stated Song is You Lead, which was written by Jaime Grace and recorded on the album “One Song at a Time” in 2011 under Gotee Records. The video associated with this song is at http://youtu.be/JFmSzL2ppvg.
I really love this song because it is about some one who needs God to take the reigns of her life. This is something that I’m trying to do. I want him to lead me into a life that he wants me to have. I also feel like I started wandering, so doing this song this week was my continual prayer for the week.
Now the lyrics that I was working off are
I’ve got waves that are tossin’ me,
Crashin’ all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be yours,
So pull me out of this mess I’m in,
Cause I know I’m wanderin’
Lead my soul back home again,
I’ve always been yours,
And this world may push, may pull,
But your lovin’ never fails,
You lead, I’ll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly,
When you lead, I’ll follow,
Just light the way and I’ll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on.
As a child I heard your voice,
But as a girl I made my choice,
There is no other way for me,
I’m devoted to you,
You’re my peace on the heavy days,
You’re the warmth of an autumn blaze,
Your love carries me away,
And it’s never too soon.
Sometimes when I wake up, I don’t wanna rise up, Out of my bed, to many thoughts in my head,
Don’t wanna be who I used to be,
Gonna take the back seat and let you lead,
So lead me on.
And I need to stop,
Cause I’m going too fast,
And I know my God is still God, And you got my back,
Of course if you watch and listen you’ll hear that I changed them up a bit.
I really hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know what you think.
