I walk with sand on my feet
with water rushing my toes.
My eyes point down
I lose reality
picturing a warm hand to hold
contradicting the cold ocean water
happy smiles on his face
as we silently walk in companionship
joining our hearts with friendship
and learning love through our eyes.
I walk with sand on my feet
with water brushing my toes
and dream a dream
I never really wanted to be mine.
When I build me up
I crumble down
and feel nothingness surround.
When I build me up
I forget to stand
and fall to the earth’s sand.
Crumbling and falling
I can not survive
Forgetting you breath
forgetting you live inside.
My strength and hope
my way and life.
I forget
I crumble down
so you can stand out
I do not stand on the sand
because you push me to your rock.
I will remember to crumble down
only to your will,
so that your love with stand.
I will stand aside
knowing you are my rock
so that your hope will shine bright.
Yes, I will crumble down
be pushed aside,
so love, hope and mercy can survive.
I have realized lately that I have felt this weird crumbling emotion towards my life, as if I am not in control of my life. I know I am not in complete control of my life, but people like to think they are. I want to believe what I am doing with my life means something and that my life is mine. Well, I realized on Sunday at church that the reason I felt lost and a crumbling of myself in my life is because since I am a follower of Jesus my life is not my own. I love Jesus and have given my life to him. This means I work  with the gifts and talents God has given me to spread his love, hope and truth.Â
I started to write this poem (in my mind) as  an expression of  loosing myself and not feeling right. As I actually wrote it down though, I realized why I had that feeling and turned it into a poem for God.
I hope you enjoy this and please let me know what you think.
Looking out the window, watching the time roll by. I see long tall grass almost moving with the gentle ocean breeze. As the sand grows higher the grass grows short, until the grass is no more and only the tan sand remains.
The grass is replaced only briefly with fences used to block the wind when it rages up hard trying to destroy the beautiful beach. At this time the fence is simply used as markers of where the real beach starts.
People cross this line merrily and start to set up their day’s camp. The few groups that populate this quiet beach hope for the wind to carry the puffy clouds, that block the sun, away. In this moment the sand is damp and the sun can not dry it. Yet, the temperature is perfect for relaxing, along with not thinking of any problems that they may have.
The people on the beach only sit and watch the waves roll in then curl before crashing on the shore, slightly changing the beach with every surge.
As I hope you can tell this is a scene from my vacation. I wanted to challenge myself a little so I looked out pass the pouch and wrote what I saw. This was also written at the same time as my other beach scene post.Â
Please, let me know what you think. Your feedback is greatly appreciated.Â