My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool

My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool

One of my sisters has a tattoo machine and has tattooed herself a few times with it. She isn’t looking to change careers; she is happy being a nurse. The machine was her husband’s before he passed last year. The first tattoos she gave herself was ones that reminded her of him.

Well, in August I went on a vacation with my family. In between the actual vacation and my flight, I stayed at her house. This was so she could tattoo me. The original idea was a simple tree on the inside of my upper arm. It would be a remembrance tattoo for my brother who passed last year. (Yes, there were multiple deaths in my family in August 2019.) As we discussed it she mentioned that it would be the first tattoo she gave someone else. It was quickly decided we would start with an easier and less painful tattoo.

Now, it wasn’t like I just came up with my new tattoo on the vacation. I have a list of tattoos I want to get. My “love boldly” tattoo was just going to be after Chris’s tree. However, things didn’t work out that way and I got “love boldly” before the tree.

When I first painted this symbol something clicked, as though my eyes opened in a new way. This is what I need to remind myself daily. This is what I need to focus on. I need to love boldly. For me, that means to love without fear or holding back. Jesus loved the world boldly and I should try to imitate Jesus, right?

My “love boldly” symbol gives me permission in a way to free myself from myself and just love those around me. It reminds me that sometimes I need to get out of my own way and just help people or love them in whatever way they need it. Now it’s on my arm, so I guess I have to make sure I’m always boldly loving those around me. What a wonderful tool.

My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool
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If you would like to keep more up to date with what I am doing I am on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. You can also read about my life in my series God Shows Up or in the category “Life.”

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Tal’s Tales #1: The Unusual Stranger In A Town Of Dust

Focus: Scenery and location.
The Unusual Stranger In A Town Of Dust

Dust and dry dirt covered the wide main road in this little town that was forgotten as the 2 suns met high in the sky. They caused the delicate vegetation to wither away and fragile creatures to seek shelter. In a few weeks, life would flourish. Soon this little town would be full of color and life from the now withered vegetation and fragile creatures. For now, it was only gray, beige, and unbearably hot. Until the suns passed each other, this town would remain lifeless.

Not even rain clouds would venture out of wherever they hid. The only storms that showed themselves were windstorms. These storms caused the dust and dirt to dance around the buildings with the passion and violence of an angry lover scorned.

A well-dressed stranger arrived in a bright blue metallic carriage powered by the latest travel technology, while the 2 suns still fought for the sky. He wore a rich violet suit with a lush emerald shirt. This unusual stranger was accompanied by an even more unique figure who was tinted silver. The silver one tried to cover as much as he could as he got out of the carriage. He carried a bag filled with medical and mechanical tools, while the well-dressed stranger carried nothing.

As they walked into the saloon, the doors swung closed. The wind welcomed them to town by dancing around the main road, causing the once clean and fancy vehicle to match its surroundings.

The stranger saw this through the dust crusted windows and tighten his jaw. His mouth nearly disappeared and his eyebrows furrowed. The dirt covering his carriage would not suit him at all.

He looked around at the saloon and it matched the rest of the town. It was gray, dirty, and lifeless, except for the barkeep that blended into the bar he was sitting at. “You’re either a week late or 3 weeks early.” He said not getting up from his stool.

Want More

All of the stories in this series can be found in the Tal’s Tales section of this site. I also post snippets on my Instagram account and Facebook page.

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Tal’s Tales: A Fun New Project Starting

If you watch my update videos, you will know my writing direction is shifting. I am moving away from articles and blogs. Instead, I will write more stories and poetry. As part of this change in direction, I have started a short story series called Tal’s Tales. The stories will be part of a larger story and use the same characters. However, each story will also be enjoyable as a standalone story. Each installment will focus on a different storytelling or writing aspect.

The major reason I’m writing this series is to improve my writing, so it is more engaging. A secondary benefit is that I hope to reach more of my target audience and show my fiction writing skills.

I’m starting with 30 story focuses. A few of the focus notes will be difficult to pull off, but being challenged is the best way to grow. I am excited to share this series with you and see where it goes.

Why am I telling you all this?

I am finishing up the article series Tiff’s Tips and have put my other series Love Nerd on the back-burner. I may post a few more articles here and there, but my writing focus will be on Tal’s Tales and my other project Royal Memories. Since this will be a shift for the site, creating a post about it seemed appropriate.

What are Tal’s Tales about?

Tal’s Tales is about a group of characters who travel the universe in a living spaceship. Each character is a different species. The overarching focus is how they interact with each other in different situations. It will feel like a wacky sitcom at points and will be a fun read.

Please, give any and all feedback. This is for me to grow as an author, so I welcome all feedback.

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Love Nerd: Neck Fat

Story Time

If you read my book To Love, you know I’ve tried online dating. I tried 3 times and technically I am still on a site. I have had little luck with online dating, but I have gotten a couple stories from it.

My favorite story is one that took place during my second round of online dating. I started talking with a guy that lived on the other side of the country. It would be a long-distance relationship, but I didn’t want that to stop me. We both figured we should try to see if a long-distance thing would work.

We talked via texts for about a week, then had a video date. Because of work issues, the video date almost didn’t happen. When the date happened, I already had my pajamas on with messy hair. He was already relaxing in his bed in his pajamas, which did not include a shirt.

We chatted for a little, but he had to get off to help a friend who was texting him. After the call, I texted him to tell him I was getting ready for bed and I would talk to him the next day. He responded with saying he didn’t think we should continue the long-distance thing. 

I asked “why.” He acted like it would offend me. My goal was to learn if it was something I should change. I wanted any feedback I could get too, since I don’t date too much. After a bit of prying, he told me his shallow reason.

His reason to stop talking, “neck fat.”

I immediately realized that was all on him. It didn’t offend me and I almost found his reason funny. He acted like he could break my heart. He told me he was aware of his shallowness and that he tried to get over his issues. It seemed like an actual struggle for him.

I suggested working through this struggle with God in prayer and meditation to which he responded with he had, but it’s just how God made him.

I stopped the conversation after that. If you act like something is an issue and want to change it, you can’t also say it’s just who you are. If you don’t like what you see in yourself or who you are, you do possess the power to change.

I love telling the story. I find the specificness with his shallowness funny. He did not care that I was not a twig or that I have a rounder body than he would prefer. It was specifically my neck fat.

I guess I shouldn’t have the phone like this.

Love Nerd: Neck Fat
Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

God Shows Up blog series

Christian Camp – God Shows Up

When I was about 10 years old I went to a Christian camp named Camp Brea and . It was a standard camp experience. We camped in cabins, there was a lake, and it was in the middle of a forest. Trees surround the majority of the camp with the exception of the lake and a long building with dirt parking spaces. There was also a chapel among the trees.

One day towards the end of camp I was in the chapel, a service must have just finished. I was alone with one adult camp counselor. She and I sat on a bench and talked about Jesus. She asked me a few questions about faith and accepting Jesus. At the time everything made sense and Jesus seemed present. She guided me through a standard prayer and then we signed a paper that I could bring home with me. It was a confession of my faith; a sign that I decided to accept Jesus into my heart.

The paper was lost, along with the memory of what happened. I returned to my life and didn’t think anything else of that summer camp. It wasn’t until I was telling my testimony, after becoming a Christian that I even remembered that there once was a paper and the memory existed.

Looking back on my life

I see where God did intervene on my behalf. I could have gone down darker paths or have horrible accidents. There was a time when I was far from him, making wrong decisions, and living a life focused on fun. It was because of those wrong decisions and impurity that I was led to California where I eventually found God again and gave my heart fully and truly to Jesus.

In the end He was with me, even if I didn’t know it. Even when my life didn’t reflect Him, He was in the background waiting.

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Testimony – God Shows Up

My true Christian life started on the cliffs in California.

I had moved to California with four friends after I graduated from college. We moved here for freedom, fun, and the beautiful weather. There was no positive thoughts of God or religion. The group of us didn’t really talk about that stuff much.

After 3 months of living in a pretty chaotic house together and struggling, things began to change. We all smoked and I did not think much about what at the time was a random stoner conversation that would eventually be the catalyst for the change.  The group decided it would be good to do a spiritual exploration study. Each of us were going to study a religion to find out what they all had in common.

Only the person who took Christianity actually studied. He soon decided to go to a local church.

One night he and another housemate had a conversation. By the end of the night God showed up and made Himself real to that friend.

The next day my life truly changed

The next day we walked to the cliffs that over looked the pacific ocean. While meditating I asked the universe for a sign. I made it a point to myself that I was meditating and not praying. I didn’t really want Christianity to be true. After a moment I heard a whisper of a thought suggest opening the Bible that my friend brought.

My friend brought a Bible with us, so I got up and asked him if I could use it. With the Bible in my possession I sat back where I originally was. I wasn’t to going to actually open it to a certain page or passage. How could I? I never really read the Bible before, so I didn’t know where to find any good scriptures.

The wind played and flung the pages. The breeze died down momentarily and stopped at Psalm 64, which in the New King James version says, “Hear my voice, O God, in my meditation.”

It was the word meditation that got me. Then it was as though my soul breathed for the first time.

Chapters of Life – DreamWard Bound

Every few years my life changes. Each change is the start of a new chapter and a new part of my epic story. Most of the time it also comes with a change in location, but not always.

I try to prepare for each change in my life the best I can. I look at it like almost like a new story. What will the plot be? What new characters may I encounter? What will the theme or message be for this chapter of my life? Each time my life changes I think I answer these questions, but God or life always has at least one different answer. The changes are never fully what I expected.

This chapter in my life is like the others. It is not what I expected.

My goal for this chapter is to pursue my ideal life, my passions, and God’s will for my life.

At the moment I am being torn down in negative areas of my personality, struggling with my motivation, and I’m learning to be more flexible in multiple areas of my life. It is a trying point in my life. I do not want to face the areas of myself that I don’t like and should change. It is not easy to let things go that annoy me or frustrate me.

I do know that the reward for going through all this will be worth it. I will hopefully rid myself of the parts of me I do not like and become more flexible with things that don’t actually matter in the long run of things. I’ll be a better version of myself and living a better version of my life.

Also, although it is tough I am still less stressed and not emotionally drained each night. It is a better life for myself already.

Plus, I can actually have a full day to rest, which is a new thing and one I’m still relearning how to do. It is strange that stopping and relaxing is hard for someone. It seems like it should be easy to do, but I’ve spent years only really stopping on vacations. If I was not on vacation I had something to do; I had something to create or a to-do list item to check off. Now I have a day for that stuff and a day to stop and take care of myself. I still want to keep going and going, but I know we all have to take a break now and again, so that is what I’m doing. I will learn how to do it well eventually.

 

Musical Romance (Short Story)

Musical Romance short story

Your best friend, Beth, invites you to an open mic night at a local coffeehouse. It the first time Beth will sing one of her original songs in front of people, besides you and her cat, Meowers.

It thrills you to support your friend.

After you finish your shift at the call center for a tech company, you rush home to get ready. Your clothes are changed and you redo your hair. This is in record time and you meet Beth at the cozy coffeehouse.

At The Coffee House

You can smell the beans roasting and the coffee brewing from outside the door. As you enter the coffeehouse, you look around the warmly decorated room. It has two large couches facing a makeshift stage area and wood tables that are only large enough to seat four people each. 

Beth finds you and greets you with a great enormous hug, the way she does when she is nervous. As she is still squeezing you Beth stated, “You made it.” When the hug is released she tells you, “The first person is about to start. I’m fifth in line.” She straightens her red and brown floral dress that flows over her slender body.

“Of course, I made it. I wouldn’t miss this.” You look at your friend and ask, “How are you doing? Nervous?”

Beth tried to smile. “Nah, no, no. I’m fine.”

You look blankly at her and her face drops, fully revealing her nerves. “Yes, I am. I shouldn’t be, the crowd isn’t that big, but it’s my song. What if they hate it? I could mess up. What if I can’t really sing?”

“Don’t be silly. You’ll do great. Meowers and I love the song. Plus you’ve sung in front of bigger crowds than this.”

Confused, Beth asked, “When?”

“Our middle school recitals and karaoke.”

Beth shakes her head as she states, “Those don’t count. Karaoke isn’t performing and middle school ended like half a lifetime ago.”

“Still, you’ll do great.”

The Open Mic Starts

Just then the first performer takes the stage and taps on the mic. It is a sizeable round man with little hair on the top of his head, but plenty of white hair coming from his chin. He sings an old blues song as he strums on a guitar. This musician is talented and the crowd applauds him when he finishes. The next performer is a woman with pigtails and a banjo. She can’t seem to play and sing together, but struggles through the full song, anyway. The following two performers get progressively worse and the audience hardly even claps for the last man, who leaves almost in tears. His nerves won.

Beth’s Turn

It is Beth’s turn. She is nervous and starts by fumbling the first notes on her simple acoustic guitar.

You mouth, “Breathe,” to her. She closes her eyes for a moment and takes a deep breath. She starts again and plays her song perfectly. It is beautiful. The crowd cheers for her at the end. They are very thankful that she was a wonderful singer and the song was beautiful.

Beth makes her way back to the table where you are sitting with a giant smile on her face.

As she sits, the next act gets on stage. It is a male musician who has perfectly curly brown hair and sits on the stool, but keeps one leg on the ground. He smiles a nervous yet cute smile as he places his guitar on his lap. Once he clears his throat he says, “This is my first time here too, and I also have an original song.”

Another New Musician Sings

He sings and your eyes meet his sparkling hazel eyes. You hold eye contact with him and smile. It feels as though the room melts away and he is singing only to you. Towards the end of his song, he looks down to make sure he is playing the right notes, but is grinning widely.

At the end of the song he thanks the audience, but is looking at you when he does so. The crowd applauds him as he leaves the little platform that makes up the stage.

He walks directly to you. “Hi, I’m Matt.” He says with his hand out.

You shake his hand as you tell him, “Hi Matt, I’m Lucy. You were great.”

“Thanks. I don’t mean to be too forward, but can I join you two lovely ladies?”

Before you can answer, Beth does. “Of course, we would love that.”

The conversation quickly dies down as the last performer takes the stage. She resembles a jazz singer with her hair pinned in curls and a black fit and flare dress on. She sings a slow and soft song. It is a very loving, sweet jazz song. After she finishes, the audience claps, but starts to leave.

Matt, Beth, and you continue to talk. After half an hour Matt buys both of you cups of tea and you help him carry them over to the table.

You do not realize the time passing. As the coffee house closes, Matt asks for your number. Smiling, you give him your phone number and he sends you a quick smiley text, so you have his.

When The Coffeehouse Closes

This is the start of something new, but after a long day at work you are ready for bed.

You say goodnight to Matt at the coffee house and walk with Beth to your car, which is outside of Beth’s apartment. You say goodnight to your best friend and get in your car.

When you get home, you see that you have an unread text message from Matt. It says, “I’m glad I went to the open mic night, tonight.”

You smile as you respond with, “Me too. Goodnight.”

As you get ready for bed, another text from Matt pops up on your phone. “Goodnight.”

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube.

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Why I Hate Birds: My Swan Attack Story

swan attack journey to me

It should be known that I hate birds. It is partly out of fear and partly is because I think at least fowl and larger birds are evil. I can handle smaller birds and can stand pet birds, like cockatiels. Roosters, swans, and geese are not okay in my book.

I have had a few negative run-ins with birds in my life. The first one I remember is the swan that attacked me and my now step-sister.

Until I was 10 I lived across the street from my uncles’ pig farm. They also had goats and chickens. I would always go over there and one day I went with my step-sister.

We went into the goat’s area. It was a fenced in patch of land that was a bit rocky, but grass still grew.

I did not realize that a swan made a nest and laid eggs in the grass, until I got too close. The swan chased my step-sister and me. We scrambled up some rocks, since we could not get back to the gate. There was a thorny bush on the other side of the fence. There was a short argument about leaping the fence, since we would be jumping into the thorns. The evil swan was ready to attack, but no major injuries occurred. I believe we jumped the fence or one of my uncles came to chase the bird away.

I want to say my uncle chased away the massive bird with a shovel in hand, but I can only remember the terror of the swan’s attack with its flapping wings and the feeling of being trapped.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube. You can also read more of Journey To Me, which is the series this is from.

My Speech Journey (Journey To Me)

My Speech (Journey To Me)

I will be blunt because there is no real way of talking about my speech journey without doing so. I have a speech impediment, where d’s and t’s don’t always come out right or at all. This is especially true when d’s and t’s are in the middle of a word and I haven’t said that word a lot or at all.

Growing up I hated that it was called an impediment. It wasn’t because of any negative experience I’ve had with having a speech impediment. I hated it because I blurred the syllables together. I couldn’t say what I had well.

After years of speech therapy, theater, and practice, friends and most people have said they don’t notice it. It can now be hidden and I can speak to be understood now.

Still, I can hear it. I may not consciously be aware of it with every word I say, but I know it is still there in the shadows. It especially yells at me when I listen to a recording or when I’m speaking through a microphone.

I repeat the words my friends tell me, “It’s just how I sound. It’s just how I talk.” I remind myself it makes me unique and those who matter don’t fault me for it.

How I get over it.

For a time I cringed my way through editing videos of where I am speaking, whether it was monologues, tips, or improv videos. I forced myself to get comfortable with my voice. It did help me become more comfortable with my voice and accept it.

Eventually the videos slowed to a stop. The improved self-esteem for my speech was only a bi-product and my goals that were the real focus of the videos were not in the foreground of my motivation.

I gave little thought to my voice or speech for a while. It was not interfering with my life and it didn’t seem like an issue. I could listen to my voice without cringing now and everyone could understand me. Part of my thought that the impediment was behind me. It was something I had not have.  It felt as though the struggle with my impediment was over or a tiny pebble in the shadows of a far corner of my mind.

The funny thing with the mind is if you shine a light on a pebble it can grow. Even the slightest connection to it can create a boulder under the right circumstances. The pebble becomes a hurdle, which opens wounds that should have been healed.

I’m now facing my issues again.

Partly from stress and partly because a light was shined on my speech, I now had to face my speech impediment again. Even though the focus on my speech had nothing to do with the impediment, I saw my insecurities surrounding it.

I now have to figure out why the pain of not speaking exactly like everyone else still remains and threatens to come out at the slightest reference. Why does anything negative relating to speech or talking bring me to tears?

On the surface, it appears that the reasons are easily seen. I want to be viewed as smart, but I must first sound intelligent. If  I’m fumbling over words, stuttering, and finding replacements that I can say my IQ appears to drop.

I do not want what I view as my weakness and flaw hold me back. When it does I feel all the times its held me back. I am reminded of going to speech classes, being taken out of regular classes to go to a special speech therapy class, and feeling the label of “different” on me when it was not my choice.

Labels and the Past

Even now when I gladly wear “unique” and “different” as a proud badge, being different in speech hurts. It transports me back to being a child who did not ask for the label or want it.

I always felt loved and do not remember anyone teasing me about my impediment. They would tease me and bully me for other reasons, but never for how I spoke.

I do not want to blame my short coming or not getting things in life on my speech impediment. Hardly anyone notices now and if they do they say it doesn’t change their view of me. However, when it’s noticed it changes my view of myself. I’m reminded of the shy little girl. I find my shell again and must fight the urge to get back in it. I do fight though and write instead of crawling into my safe shell.

When the time is right I will explore why my speech impediment still hurts so badly when it is in the light. It is part of me and should not hurt me, yet it still does.

For now I will again work on tongue twisters and vocal exercises to overcome my flaws. I will become comfortable with my voice once again. I will remind myself that I’m my own success person. I’m strong and I am loved.

The relationship with my speech is a journey that I may stumble along, but I’m at least making progress and discovering more sides of who I am.

Want More?

I have more stories that shows how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.