I Am A Soggy Bagel

by tiffanyI Am A Bagel September 30, 2015One Comment

Today I got dressed up. I felt like I needed to look good. I wanted to take extra time for myself, so in the morning I woke up early. I put on my new cream cheese spread and wore heels. I even did my make-up. I was looking amazing if I do say so myself.

I started my car and went to work. I was on the highway when it started to rain and then I got a flat tire. I pulled over to change the tire. As soon as my car was safely on the side of the highway the clouds fully opened up. Have you ever seen a bagel in high heels changing a tire when it was raining buckets? I am sure I was amusing the drivers with all four tires intact that drove by. I just know it was not fun changing that tire and I was almost instantly soggy. After a few nice people did stop to help I finally had my tire changed to the spare.

I stopped, soaking wet, at a tire store. They changed the spare out for a new regular tire and I was off to work, again. The only real different was that I was no longer fancy or looking amazing. I was simply a soggy bagel in heels.

I Am A Hurt Bagel

by tiffanyI Am A Bagel, my creative self, short stories September 22, 2015One Comment

The other day I woke up and my body was a bit stale. I thought nothing of it until later in the day. I started to workout with Baguette. I stretched and then ran. I was fine until we started to do the floor exercises. I should restate that. It was not until I tried to do the floor exercises that I started to feel real pain. I was falling ungracefully as Baguette showed me what to do. Yes, she did the floor exercises and I flopped around. I wound up getting unnaturally twisted up and my staleness turned into real pain. It was so bad that I could not fall asleep that night.

Thankfully us Bagels heal fast with a little wet heat. I was back to my non-exercising self within a day.

Weekly Writing Prompt (#29)

by tiffanyother updates September 14, 2015One Comment

Write a poem describing physical pain. Start the poem with creative imagery about how the pain started but then go into how it feels. What causes it to grow? Where is the relief?
Do you have a mentor? Write a character description about him/ her. What are they like? What makes them someone to look up to?
Retell a story you heard from a friend or someone else in your life. Use different names and if you forget a detail use your own imagination. Basically use a story you heard as a prompt, trying to keep it as close to the original as possible.
Two brother’s walk into a bar and start asking about the strange local crime that has happened. You hadn’t heard about anything strange, but the more you listen the more you realize you fit the target demographic. What do you do? What happens next? (yes, I am ready for Season 11 of Supernatural to start.)
You meet the person that you have you are the biggest fan of. You’ve waited in lines and get up to actually see him/her. What do you want to do? What do you actually do?

Black clad Assassin

by tiffanyshort stories, Stand Alone Short Stories September 10, 2015June 24, 2020One Comment

The perimeter of his little camp must have been weaker than he thought because he was awakened by the nose of a black horse with black eyes and black reigns. Everything about this horse was black including the rider who sat on the horse’s black saddle. The only thing that was not black was the whites of the rider’s eyes.

The rider stared at William, the now frightened man, as the black leather clad rider dismounted the black horse. William could see the crest of the deadly assassin clan pressed into the leather right where the heart should be. No one knew if this clan had hearts or if they were monsters sent to kill the poor mortals that got in their way. Not much was known about them. Only two things were known for sure, their crest had five stars and a bird, and a single assassin could kill entire villages.

Slowly the rider, who wore 2 swords, walked over to William. Only when the black clad rider was looming over William were words spoken. “Do you have food?” The words came from behind the black clothe mask, however they were surprisingly feminine. William could tell that the low register of the voice was forced and it was softer than he was expecting.

“You’re a lady.” A shocked William stated.

Before William could answer the question or even think another thought there was a dagger pressed against his throat. “I will slice your throat either way.”

William, a simple monk who was only out of the monastery due to a change in assignment was silent until the assassin asked the question again, “Do you have food or will I have to slit your throat?”

“I have food. I have bread.” A shaky voiced William answered. He stayed still until the dagger was lowered.

He went into his satchel and took out his 2 loaves of bread and offered them to the one clad in black. She took one ripped it in half and gave the other half back to William.

When William gave a confused look at the woman who was supposed to be a ruthless killed she answered the look by sitting down and stating, “I will not repay generosity with greed. You are not my target, so you will be safe.”

Neither one of them spoke as they ate the bread.

William simply sat cross-legged as he ate and watched the assassin. She had pulled her mask up to eat and William saw that her skin was only black because of the black grease makeup she wore where her mask did not cover. She was actually quite pale, especially compared to his heavily tanned skin. He also watched how she sat. The assassin sat with only one leg on the ground. The other was bent with the foot on the grounds as if she needed to be ready to spring to her feet at any moment. She also kept her dagger in one hand and the bread in the other.

They both sat and watched the other eat uncertain what would happen if either one of them spoke.

When the assassin was done with her bread, she stood and stated, “Tell no one of this meeting or you will become a target for my clan.”

She mounted her horse before William could confirm that he would not tell a soul. She did not need to wait for the confirmation though, she knew her clan’s reputation and knew he would heed her command.

Want More?

If you would like to read more stories of mine I do have a stand-alone short stories section and my writing portfolio. You can also watch readings of my writings on YouTube.

Otis, The Hunter.

by tiffanyReal Life, short stories, Stand Alone Short Stories July 22, 2015March 19, 2019One Comment

Otis, The Hunter.

Otis, the fat grayish-tan feline with thick black stripes, almost sat down next to me as if he wanted to be near the comfort of a human. Before his bum touched the blanket I had brought out onto the roof, Otis heard a noise. It was the famed climbing of a squirrel, that needed to be hunted. There was no time to cuddle the squirrel invader had to be stopped. Only the heroic house cat could hunt and stop this beast, so Otis crouched down and very slightly crept to the skylight, that since it was raised gave a littler cover for his sneak attack. Then since time was of the essence he bolted towards the wild beast, which actually gave the squirrel enough time to see the house cat and climb back to the top of the tree yelling at the cat as it climbed. Otis, who thought himself brave and a great hunter,continued to stalked the frightened and angry sounding squirrel to another higher tree.

Unfortunately the hunt had to end since Otis is a fat house cat who could not even get onto one of the trees. After a minute or less Otis came back to the blanket wanting the petting he ran away from a few moments earlier.

Not An Ordinary Walk

by tiffanymy creative self, short stories, Stand Alone Short Stories February 25, 2015March 19, 2019No Comments

I walk down a hard grey path that has tiny bumps that would be unpleasant to walk barefooted on. There are dwelling places on both sides of this path with some green ground coverings. I walk down until I see an artificial looking hill that uses a combination of flat surfaces and tiny smooth cliffs. I walk down this built hill and find that the land below it is different.

This land has no path and is not as solid as the path or artificial hill. Tiny grains of tan, white, and brown move under my feet as I walk. I am moving the land under me as I hear a rhythm of strange movement. There is a massive body of liquid creating this musical noise. The liquid mass stretches far beyond my sight and moves up as it sounds its rumbling music, but then it is pulled away. I pause and the clear liquid rushes over my feet. It is cold and I do not dare go in any further. Although what rushed over my feet was clear as the volume grows it becomes hard to see the ground or what is in the liquid.

I stay on the moving land before going back to the artificial hill and down the grey path.

The Bagel Love Affair

by tiffanyI Am A Bagel, other updates February 17, 2015No Comments

I am a bagel and I think I am in love. I meant him the other day in a bakery. We were both there to say good-bye to family members that were sent there to leave this world. I was too late all the little bagels that I once called kin were already bought and eaten.

It was still early in the morning and his little cousins were still on display, just waiting for their turn to leave.

You see, he is a cupcake and a sweet one too, with thick Swiss butter cream frosting for hair and a double chocolate body. I couldn’t take my eyes off his sweetness, as he said good-bye to his cousins.

He saw that I had been too late to say good-bye to my kin, so he gave me a sugary shoulder to cry on. We walked around the little down town street, sipping coffee, and talking about how being baked goods was, especially when it meant knowing so little of our kind makes it pass a day old.

We soon had to part ways. He had to get back to work and I had to work on scheduling my traveling trip. We were able to setting up another date, before my schedule departure and exchanged numbers so that we would be able to talk as I traveled the world, learning about how different cultures treated bagels and now all baked goods.

My Monday Night (Sort Of A Short Story)

by tiffanyBrazilian Jiu-jitsu writings, short stories, Stand Alone Short Stories January 26, 2015March 19, 2019No Comments

Hello and welcome to my Monday night. It was amazing and now I feel slightly broken. I am energized even though I am exhausted. I want to sleep now that my night is over, but too excited to even think of fully ending the night. You see I was wonderfully hurt and carefully punched. I was stressed, pushed, and rolled. I learned what hurts and how to hurt, but never trying to hurt the other.

Hello and welcome to my Monday night. I got to class early and started to prepare. I did not have a pen and there was no paper. I did not sit at a desk and no books would be found. I got to class early and changed into my warrior’s clothing. I put on the pants that match the top. I tied my belt as tight as it could go and I prepared for class.

Hello and welcome to my Monday night. I ran among men and pushed myself to do what they do. I pushed myself hard as deep voices counted the numbers of the challenge. I struggled to prove myself to myself as the advanced classmates pushed on stronger. Still I pushed on alongside them.

Hello and welcome to my Monday night. It’s a night where I introduce myself to different men, well some are boys. I introduce myself to them all the same. I give them a fist bump before the fun starts. I push when they pull or pull when they push. If I stop to think they either help and tell me what to do or the show me how stopping is the enemy. I do not know most of these partners, but still we roll and tug at each other struggling to win the round. The first round could be easy with only clothes touching clothes. The first round could be a small lesson with my partner telling me how to win. Or the first round could be personal and trusting with a face full of your partner’s sweaty torso. Any way the first rounds start they start, I learn, they end.

Hello and welcome to my Monday night. Join me on this adventure of life and lessons. All the pain and sweat is worth it.

Imagine Dragons And Airplanes (a Short Story)

by tiffanyshort stories January 19, 2015May 23, 2020No Comments

She stood at the airport waiting for her ride wearing her green dress that flared at her hips. She waited as cars picked up loved ones and unicorns picked up their masters. She waited and waited. She almost went back inside to call a taxi cab when a loud crashing sound and a terrifying roar of pain came blasting down the road where people were being picked up.

The lady looked towards the crash and saw a miniature dragon clumsily coming down a lane trying not to hit or even crush the cars in the other two lanes. Although he was a miniature dragon, he was still as long as a truck and each of his wings stretched out would also be as long as a truck. The lady gasped out of fear for the creature and for the people in the cars that he was trying so hard not to hit.

She feared for them until she saw who was riding the dark green scaled animal. Her husband rode on the dragon’s two person saddle. She smiled and rolled her eyes, “This is your surprise? We can’t afford a dragon!”

Finally her husband was close enough to climb down the great beast and hug his wife. He gave her a kiss in which he dipped her in his arms. When they parted he smiled his charming smile that made her fall in love with him so many years before. That is when he stated, “No, my new job is the surprise. This is just a little reward.”

“Nothing about a dragon is little.” The lady said and as she did the dragon leaned down to sniff her. He then lightly licked her as a sign of affection. She stared at the dragon’s purple eyes not wanting to like the animal, but finding that hard. “Just don’t fly too high, okay? I just got off a plane I don’t need to feel like I’m back on one.”

“Don’t worry honey. Bae, can’t go that high with two of us. One day soon, we should take him to a field, so that you can see how high he can go.”

She nodded and he loaded her two bags onto Bae’s back before helping her into her side of the saddle. They were then off flying a few feet over traffic; happily in between the airplanes and cars.

My Bad Morning (a Short Story)

by tiffanymy creative self, Real Life, short stories, Short Stories Portfolio, Stand Alone Short Stories December 12, 2014January 5, 2021One Comment

Based on a true story.

I woke up today, not wanting to get out of bed. The reason was nothing big. I just wanted the weekend to come a day early.

My adult self woke up, and I got out of bed. I got ready and took part in my work’s fancy Friday. When you work in a company of hackers, who also have nerd tendencies, casual dress is more common than not. Most days people dress in jeans and t-shirts, but not on Friday. Friday people dress up. There is one person who appreciates fancy Fridays the most and who I believe started the tradition. It was this person’s birthday, so took part in what she enjoyed. I found my dress pants and my favorite button-up shirt. I put on my makeup and did my hair. Then I put my heels on and went out the door.

I got a latte from my favorite cafe. My day had a later than normal start, but it was going fine. It wasn’t until I got on the highway that everything stopped being fine. A loud noise erupted as if my car was driving on something. Maybe there was something stuck under my car. I got off the highway, and the sound changed a bit to more of a thud-thud sound, as if my tire was flat. It was strange since when I was on the highway it was just loud. I pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot and got out of my car. Something blew my tire with holes in all of it.

The Start Of The Tire Change

It was still okay. I was going to change a tire. How hard could it be? I had it all under control. I started by taking the spare tire out. This should be the easiest part, right? I just needed to undo the bolt and slide it out from under my car. It sounds simple, but when you are in fancy Friday attire you get determined to stay clean, and need to pull something out from under your car, things get difficult.

On top of staying clean, I did not want to get my clothes wet. It had rained the night before, and as soon as I tried to get the spare tire out, it started sprinkling. I ended up in yoga positions and weird poses just to figure out what I could do to get the tire out from under my car. After a fight and a struggle, I freed the dirty rescue tire from its cage.

Now, it was time to get the jack in place. Again, this should be easy, right? Don’t you just put it under your car and crank it up? Apparently, the answer to both those questions was ‘no.’ After the wheel did not move, but the car frame moved, I looked at my manual. It was inside in my glove compartment.

Once The Jack Was On

I went to the front of my car and saw my delicious latte sitting abandoned. I thought it best to show it some love by taking a sip. It thought it best to spill all over my car. Thankfully I did not get burned, because it was lukewarm by now. Yes, I got to enjoy one, maybe two sips of hot coffee before my tire blew and now the fight over the spare tire caused my coffee to be lukewarm.

I sighed a heavy sigh and flipped through the manual to figure out what to do with the jack. It had now started to full-out rain. Once I thought I had everything in control, people asked me if I needed help. My Pride and my confident wouldn’t let them help. I would finish this task. I know I am a woman who is looking fancy, but I can do it. Everyone should be able to change a tire.

I got the jack in place and was ready to remove the tire. Now, I just needed to get the nuts off. In the movies, they make it seem pretty easy. Plus, this is harder than it should have been already, so now the easy part should happen. I am almost done. I just need to get the tire off.

Finally Changing the Tire

Well, after a few minutes of trying to getting them off with increasing force a nice older man came over to should be a trick. He got on the wrench thing and jumped. Yes, he stood, full weight on the thing, and jumped. Awesome I know how to do it now. I thanked him, thinking that was all I needed. I just needed a tip from a stranger. He accepted the gratitude and went on his way.

In my heels, I hopped with both feet on the wrench thing. Nothing happened. I had a thought of, “Hey, I’m light.” My next thought was, “Oh my goodness, I am so weak I can’t even get this nut to loosen.” After a minute of hopping on the wrench thing, another man came and helped me. He told me to lower the jack and loosened the nuts for me.

After I finished taking the nuts off the wheel was easy to get off. My little detour was close to completion. I just needed to get the spare tire on and then drive less than a mile to the tire store. By now, though, I knew that stupid tire would not be easy. I picked it up and waited until finding the issue. The struggle was aligning the holes with the bolts. This task felt like I was trying to line up an ancient key with its keyhole. It took longer than it should have. Of course, the entire process took longer than it should have. Finally, after one more person asked to help me, which I refused on the fact that it was only the spare tire now, I could get it on.

The Ending Of The Story

I got up with my outfit still clean and one more friendly person stopped to help. It was amazing to me how many people wanted to help me. I told the guy I replaced the tire already, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for him to make sure they were tight enough. He did and could tighten them a bit more.

I was now off to the tire store, where I was told that I need four new tires. While they were pricing the tires, I cleaned my hands and arms, which were the only things to get dirty. It was then when I decided I never wanted to change a tire again, so got all four new tires, hoping it would at least postpone the tire-changing nightmare.

It was an hour’s wait before I could go to work. I got to work. After an hour, I made myself peanut butter on toast. I was still proud of myself that I did not get any dirt on my clothes. I tell you this because after I finished with my snack, I looked down and saw that some peanut butter had dropped on my shirt along with my pants. The only thing I could do was laugh. I can change a tire while staying clean, but I can not eat and stay clean.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my morning.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube. Also, I post snippets of my short stories and other writings on my Instagram account and Facebook page.