Hold Tight (Poetry Reading)

Hold Tight (Poetry Reading)

by tiffanyPoetry, recordedPosted on No Comments

Hold Tight is a poem I originally published in 2013 and did a recorded reading in 2014. It is this month’s throwback highlight video. This poem is all about holding tight to what is important.

Gripping, ripping
holding tight.
Waking, working
until it's night.
Sleeping, dreaming
but nothing is right;
not here,
not now
when anxiety builds,
and work drains.
Not when my goals
are so far away.
Still I"m
Gripping
to the one I call Lord;
Ripping
away from my old self;
Holding tight
to the promises of God.
Waking
to a new day
and working
until it's night.
Yes I"m
Gripping, ripping
holding tight.
Waking, Working
until it's night.
Sleeping, dreaming
waiting for everything to be right.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio or watch a few of my poetry readings.

My Ring

by tiffanyother updates, random ramblingsPosted on One Comment

writing

I started to wear a band on my ring finger of my right hand. It is a spinning ring with the following inscribed on the outside, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ” Inside it says, “Philippians 4:13” and “forgiven.”

I almost didn’t get it. I don’t wear jewelry on a regular basis and it’s pretty plan. It’s just a shiny silver band with a slightly less shiny spinning piece on top. That is it. There are no flowers, hearts, crosses, or faces. There is no quirkiness to this ring.

Still I got it as a reminder that God is with me and he is my strength. I also got it as a symbol that I will live my life fully for him.

I ordered it from Amazon in  a size I thought would fit and was really happy when it had arrived. I’m sure you realize by that wording, it did not fit. It was too small. I learned that day that you should not try to it a spinning ring on a finger if the ring is too small. It does not matter how excited and happy you are to have the ring. Do not force it to go on. I did not have fun trying to twist off the ring with it spinning instead.

I returned it and got a size bigger. This was a good thing, so even though it’s a bit big, even though it’s a bit plan, and even though I do not normally wear jewelry there has not been a day that I haven’t put this ring on.

I wear it as a reminder each day that God is with me and that I can lean on him.It’s also great as a fidget tool, so that I can focus on the ring instead of nerves or loosing my train of thought.

It is true that I don’t normally wear jewelry, but this ring goes on when my glasses do and stays on all day. It is becoming as needed as my glasses, too. It calms me and reminds me of my strength.

Thank you for reading and that is all about my ring.

The Whole 100 Day Challenge Thoughts

by tiffanyother updates, Physically Healthy MePosted on One Comment

ocean walk 192

 

101 days ago now I started a challenge that I challenged myself to. This challenge was to create an exercise routine that I can do everyday for 100 days.

I got this idea from a friend at work who is doing a 100 day challenge for herself. She has her 15 minute routine that she does every day. She found this “century” challenge first from a sword fighting challenge she heard of or did. It was basically 100 strikes for 100 days. She took the idea and made it into a workout challenge.

I took this idea and made it my own.

Here is my challenge that I started to refer to as the workout. It’s 10 reps of 10 different exercises

  • 10 Squats (and hold for 10 seconds after)
  • 10 Russian Twists
  • 10 push ups (hold in plank for 10 seconds after)
  • 10 crunches
  • 10 shrimp/ hip escapes (each side)
  • 10 hip switches (another shrimping move)
  • 10 bridges
  • 10 bicycles (to each side)
  • 10 leg lifts
  • 10 Cross-body mountain Climber (That may not be the name, but I know what it means)

The catch with this challenge is that I would do these exercises for 100 days and if I missed a day I would reset the day count. This means if I am at day 66 and missed a day I would have to reset the day count, so the next day I will be at day 0 or 1 depending if I actually workout.

If you read my first challenge post the challenge did change a little. I realized that I could not do any sort of roll in my room, where I did the workout. I also marked the bicycles differently because I counted the right way (1 meant both sides) and wanted to keep it consistent with the other counting.

I did mention that I was going to keep track of the challenge with a log of some kind. It turned out to be a paper taped to my bathroom mirror. I wrote a line a day and posted the thoughts throughout the challenge after I filled up a sheet.

Here is the full 100 day list of thoughts as I did this challenge.

  1. It does not matter when you start, just that you start.
  2. Starting is the hardest and scariest part of the journey but needed. (I also wrote see twitter for 2.2.15, which says, “One day I will be able to submit someone in a fight, today is not that day, but it was a learning day closer”)
  3. Change, goals, and dreams don’t happen overnight, work towards them day after day.
  4. Convincing yourself you’re worth the work is work but worth it.
  5. Little by little and step by step is what it takes to see massive changes.
  6. By pushing yourself to do something you don’t think you can do you may find out you can.
  7. Fighting for tomorrow mean giving up you’re today. Also there is 2 parts of you the cannot and the can learn how to make the can side win. (That was after a 2 am workout, because I stayed out late with my friends)
  8. If you know how you learn, you will learn more. (This was a class day.)
  9. Working for what you want will pay off if you are constant.
  10. You know you’ve found your thing when the pain is worth it. (This was followed by a side note of  “yay, chokes. :-)”)
  11. Sometimes you just need to take way the options, make your step towards success mandatory.
  12. Starting is the worst, it’s hard and sucks, but shows you what you can do. Stick with it. You got this.
  13. I may be tired; I may not be clever, but I am doing what I set out to do.
  14. Your goals should be fun, educational and worth the pain. (This was another class day.)
  15. Making a goal a need makes it easier to do, even if it’s by force.
  16. Friends should make the goals easier. (This should be a class day note.)
  17. It’s getting easier.
  18. You know you’re doing something different and hard when you start to question seeming random choices in your life.
  19. I guess some days you just do and not learn.Doing is valuable too
  20. Some days you just have to make time. It’s worth it.
  21. Pushing yourself forward is just walking on a path or journey towards your goals. (This was a class day, also.)
  22. You can do anything as long as you work for it.
  23. People will notice your efforts. Keep on to show yourself your efforts. (This was a class day, I  know because people are starting to see my efforts in class. I don’t yet see my improvements, though. I still feel like a newbie who knows nothing.)
  24. Strength is worked at not given.
  25. You can still work even if you are tired. It will be more of an accomplishment.
  26. Sometimes realizing it’s the last part of the day makes the rest worth it.
  27. Sometimes seeing the tally marks is the only thing to make you/ me to do another day.
  28. If someone, even yourself, says you can’t tell them/ you that you can or show them.
  29. Today I didn’t really know why I was doing my challenge, but that did not stop me from doing it.
  30. Today fun was brought, along with struggle, learning, fighting and sore body. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  31. Forgot to mark I guess I wasn’t thinking only doing.
  32. It’s midnight, I’m not going to be smart. Do it. IT’s easier once it’s a habit.
  33. Another midnight workout. Tired but smiling. I did stuff today. Improv, site and workout.
  34. Not related, but still what I was thinking. Beauty is in the heart and soul not body. New tonight I actually do a sit up fully.
  35. Sometimes you learn from what other people do. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  36. My knee is hurting so I changed things up and did extra of what I could. I didn’t let pain win, I adapted.
  37. Ow, everything hurts, but that doesn’t mean I’m quitting gotta keep fighting on. (It was a class day.)
  38. If I feel my muscles they are solid and great. I’m sore but strong.
  39. I wanted to go for a walk today as if my brain is changing.
  40. I realized today I’m working on being the dream girl for my dream guy which some how means I can’t live in a dream world. (I actually wrote a post about this.)
  41. 42% done. (I was a day off). I’m feeling awesome about working out when I wanted to sleep.
  42. Friends make things better. Also experiencing different things. (It was a class day.)
  43. A workout routine or goal routine gets better with momentum so once you start don’t stop.
  44. It always is great when people can see the results of your efforts. (It was a class day.)
  45. Just looking and knowing your progress/ journey helps.
  46. No one really knows where you started only results and what you share.
  47. Just doing what you set out for means something.
  48. I want to be where I want to be but I know once I get there I’ll want to be somewhere else.
  49. Halfway there baby! And almost didn’t even mark it. (Again a day early)
  50. I feel like I had an accomplished day, which I haven’t felt like in a while. It made me want to do more.
  51. Make sure you’re smiling more than you are frowning.
  52. Schedule, plan and remember your goals during the day.
  53. I’m tougher and stronger than I give myself credit for and you most likely are the same.
  54. Feeling pooped and icky is not an excuse. You can still reach for your goals. ( I was happy with this day, since there was a smiley face after it.)
  55. I’m so ready for bed, but I did my exercises so won’t be angry with myself tomorrow.
  56. Good day, good training and good fun. (It was a BJJ class day and I was smiling.)
  57. I feel like a warrior. A sneezing warrior, but still I’m a fighter now.
  58. I took the day off get stuff done and did everything and them some with a smile on my face. (It was another smiling BJJ class day.)
  59. I am becoming a better me at least with fitness. Life is a process.
  60. Only 40 more days until a new goal or challenge. I’m excited.
  61. I’m realizing the scale is not my friend. I am tougher than it tell me since I am not used to muscle.
  62. I didn’t think about working out I just did it. That’s what happens when goals become habit.
  63. You can learn anything, just try and ask questions. ( It was a BJJ class day. )
  64. New goals, new challenges and dreams combine beautifully.
  65. Pushing yourself when you think you can’t won’t only prove the negative thought bit also put a smile on your face.
  66. Always looking back may be a bad thing. Yet being reminded of how far you’ve come is good.
  67. Even if you don’t feel like you can do it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can do it.
  68. You really do control your attitude and mood so believe you can and be happy.
  69. It’s hard to do your daily goals when your routine is off; hard not impossible.
  70. Pushing yourself is always good. ( I went to my first BJJ tournament on this day.)
  71. No matter what you think you are awesome. (I went to the tournament again and decided I wanted to start working towards competing.)
  72. I may have shown up lat to class but I showed up. (I showed up half an hour late to class because of traffic and work. I still showed up though.)
  73. You life is yours so live you life and achieve your goals.
  74. Being positive and thinking positive changes everything.
  75. I’m pretty sure I can do anything I set my mind to and you can too.
  76. Since I danced and did kick boxing I did my workout a bit different but I did it.
  77. The challenge is paying off. I’m seeing physical, mental and endurance changes. (I went to class that day. I must have been able to do more than normal.)
  78. Always be honest with yourself and know what motivate you.
  79. Hobbies and goals should be fun work. If not why do them. (I went to class and it must have been a fun one, since I was thinking about fun work.)
  80. Woot! It’s tough but I keep going (This was on day 80).
  81. Support is great and needed to have. Be grateful for your support system.
  82. It amazes me what a little bit of happiness can do sometimes. (Meaning some times it amazes me.  A little bit of happiness can do so much.)
  83. I can do anything because I keep the right attitude.
  84. A little encouragement can go a long way. (This was a class day.)
  85. I really fought with myself to do the workout but I did it and I am happy I did.
  86. I have the biggest smile on my face because I learn so much and felt the workout like crazy. (I had a Monday class, so yeah it was a workout.)
  87. The mind is powerful don’t waste it.
  88. I can tell this is still just the beginning of my healthy journey, but I’ve already come so far.
  89. It all seems like a mind game right now, and I am winning.
  90. 2 classes =2.5 hours is a great way to celebrate day 90.
  91. Only 9 more days and I’m feeling great. (Said with two smiles worth of happiness after another class.)
  92. Today seemed like a long day, good but long. Also I am loving BJJ more and more.
  93. I pulled something at class, so the last 7 days will be interesting.
  94. The pulled muscle/ part of leg is feeling better, still modified my workout. I’m happy with the results. I keep on going.
  95. Still modified the workout, but did more of what I can do. Only 5 more days now. Time to finish strong.
  96. Still modified the workout, still doing workout plus a little extra. I’m feeling positive with 4 days to go.
  97. I still modified the workout, but did even more of what I can do. Also I use to not be able to do 10 crossovers/ Russian twists. Now I can do 30 non-stop which makes me smile.
  98. I had a great class and really happy with my improvements.
  99. One more day. I’m feeling like a warrior. (Said with a smile on my face.)
  100. Woot! Woot! Yeah Buddy! I did 100 days and ended with an awesome class.

My final thoughts of this challenge was that it is great. I can do more of the basic exercises and can do my shrimping moves better. While doing what the workout I also stretched before hand on most days. This started as a bonus but is actually the part that I can see myself carrying still.

More than being better at the basics of BJJ this challenge showed me that I am determined. It also taught me that my brain is powerful and can over come my body. If I push with my brain and heart my body will follow; If I try to push with my body my brain will turn my will off.

If nothing else I will take away the strength of my brain.

Now it is on to my next 100 challenge that will be focusing on that brain of mine. More details will come in a different post. I’m pretty sure you are done reading this, just like I am done writing this.

Lastly, again YAY! I finished.

A Quarter Of The Way To 100

by tiffanyLife, other updates, Physically Healthy MePosted on No Comments

ocean walk 192

A while back I gave myself a challenge and it was a few days, maybe a week or so before I actually accepted the challenge but I did. I mentioned in the post where I shared the challenge that I was going to be keeping a log about the journey this challenge would be. I wasn’t sure at the time how I was going to do it. I just knew that I wanted to be able to share real thoughts that I had through this process. This was to both share with people about my journey and goal achieving, but also to help me. I wanted to motivate myself to keep on doing this challenge.

I decided when I started to actually do the short work out that I would keep track on a piece of paper tapped to my bathroom mirror. I also tapped a page above that and with each tally mark I wrote one line. Some days I squeezed in as much as I could others I just wrote 3 large words. I want to share that log with you now.

  1. It does not matter when you start, just that you start.
  2. Starting is the hardest and scariest part of the journey but needed. (I also wrote see twitter for 2.2.15, which says, “One day I will be able to submit someone in a fight, today is not that day, but it was a learning day closer”)
  3. Change, goals, and dreams don’t happen overnight, work towards them day after day.
  4. Convincing yourself you’re worth the work is work but worth it.
  5. Little by little and step by step is what it takes to see massive changes.
  6. By pushing yourself to do something you don’t think you can do you may find out you can.
  7. Fighting for tomorrow mean giving up you’re today. Also there is 2 parts of you the cannot and the can learn how to make the can side win. (That was after a 2 am workout, because I stayed out late with my friends)
  8. If you know how you learn, you will learn more. (This was a class day.)
  9. Working for what you want will pay off if you are constant.
  10. You know you’ve found your thing when the pain is worth it. (This was followed by a side note of  “yay, chokes. :-)”)
  11. Sometimes you just need to take way the options, make your step towards success mandatory.
  12. Starting is the worst, it’s hard and sucks, but shows you what you can do. Stick with it. You got this.
  13. I may be tired; I may not be clever, but I am doing what I set out to do.
  14. Your goals should be fun, educational and worth the pain. (This was another class day.)
  15. Making a goal a need makes it easier to do, even if it’s by force.
  16. Friends should make the goals easier. (This should be a class day note.)
  17. It’s getting easier.
  18. You know you’re doing something different and hard when you start to question seeming random choices in your life.
  19. I guess some days you just do and not learn.Doing is valuable too
  20. Some days you just have to make time. It’s worth it.
  21. Pushing yourself forward is just walking on a path or journey towards your goals. (This was a class day, also.)
  22. You can do anything as long as you work for it.
  23. People will notice your efforts. Keep on to show yourself your efforts. (This was a class day, I  know because people are starting to see my efforts in class. I don’t yet see my improvements, though. I still feel like a newbie who knows nothing.)
  24. Strength is worked at not given.
  25. You can still work even if you are tired. It will be more of an accomplishment.
  26. Sometimes realizing it’s the last part of the day makes the rest worth it.

You can see some days I was stereotypical in my motivation, other days it was more aimed towards keeping track of my main thought. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think.

Starting a journey

by tiffanyBrazilian Jiu-jitsu writings, other updates, random ramblingsPosted on 2 Comments

writingI started a journey last week, maybe you noticed. It is a life long quest to be my best. It will be a struggle see how this makes sense, showing some one or at least me something similar to growth. It is a journey that I have embarked as surprise to myself. This surprised journey, the sudden change in my seeing things is a surreal change in my path.

You see this new journey and sudden changed, changed more than a day like I thought it would. The first step was not really the true beginning. I thought it would be stepping into the hot sweaty gym, but no. The true beginning was asking the simple question, “Can I?” When the answer was yes, I was given a chance to step into the steam filled, rectangular room that was filled with blue and green mats.

My first class lasted all week within my muscles as an excited reminder that I did something impossible. What was that impossible thing I did, you may ask. I put down myself as I took off my shoes and learned my strength. I learned a new love. It is an impossible love that I told myself I would never find. It is the love of something that pushes you to the brink of your limits, but leaves you wanting more. It is a love that build you up, shows you the strength within you and tells you everything can be learned from. It is a love of Brazilian jiu jitsu and yes after only one class I was in love. After two classes I confident enough in this new journey to write about it.

You will hear more about my training and journey. This is only the start.

 

World Away (A letter)

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

 

 

 

I normally try to keep the topic of God to my other blog (Salty Light Project), but in hopes that this reaches those who are in great struggle, because of their faith and that they live in a country that does not allow them to believe in the same God that so many take for granted, I am putting this here. 

I hope you are moved by this and if you have any questions or comments, please let me know.
writing

Dear friends, brothers, those who live in a world far away yet pursuing the same truths. To those who are tortured and beaten because they love.

I can do little, but I will pray. I am only one person, but your story has traveled across the world to me. If I can I will help,because no matter what we are made up of the same substances. We both have skin to cover our muscles. We both have eyes to see the world and both have ears to hear the truth. If nothing else is similar we are both humans and we both deserve to love and live in the truth of the world.

I am be only one, but I have a voice and this is me saying I will pray for your bones not to break and for your heart to stay strong. I will pray your soul finds peace in the turmoil and that your spirits stay strong. They can break your bones but not your soul. They can make your life a horrible nightmare with no end, but when you wake up from the nightmare you will be in paradise. Keep that thought, friend, in your mind.

You may live through terrifying ordeals with unending pains, but the life you have to live is not your whole story. You may be broken down and even killed but as long as your soul stays firm on the firm foundation which you planted it on you, dear brother, will last forever.

Please, know that you are loved, you are strong, and you are not alone. Even if the only ones that stand by your side is a random girl across the world and God, you do not stand alone. You are being prayed for. You are strengthening my faith and my prayer life. I know it’s not much, but your strength is strengthening others. Stay strong and know you are not alone. You are being prayed for.

Sincerely,

a sister in faith.

Stay (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on One Comment

poetry

Can I give you strength?

Will you run away

If I tell you I love you

If I build you up

will you stay?

How can I help you

How can I help you grow

If I do what will happen

If I lend a helping hand

Will you show me that you care?

I really do hope I can help

I really do hope you will stay.

 

broken strength

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

I whisper stay steady

because I was told to stay strong.

With all the world pushing me down

I stay steady.

When I’m weak, I’m told to stay strong.

When I’m broken, I’m told to hold on,

because the world does not see

because I am free.

I can be strong in my weakness

I can hold on when everything is broken.

And I will walk when my path is dark.

 

Proverbs 31

by tiffanyrandom ramblingsPosted on No Comments

When I lived in California I had a mentor/ friend who gave advice that was simple to say, but hard to follow. Just recently  this friend, Janet, went to be with her heavenly Father in heaven. I know that she is with God because she did not only give this advice but lived it. She was a proverbs 31 woman and wanted me to be one too. That was her advice, “Be a proverbs 31 woman.” It was a simple, after reading the scripture I knew what she meant. You see proverbs 31 describes a strong, energetic, hard working woman who gets up early and stays awake working late.

For a while I have been saying, one day I’ll be that way, one day I’ll change into that. I had been saying that for more then a year; thinking I had all the time in the world to grow into kind of woman. However, when I heard that she had passed away from this life, I realized I did not have all the time in the world.  No where in the Bible does it say to wait until you are ready to follow God. It may say wait on God’s timing, but I was waiting for my own timing.

Realizing that time is short and knowing that I wanted to live for God fully. I started to read Proverbs 31 over and over. I have read it in at least 3 different translations. As I have studied it, almost every day, I have realized I am finally starting to realize what it means and  am becoming that type of woman.

I have posted the entire passage below, but there are a few verses that stuck out at me (these are from the ESV translation).

 

The first is only the first half of verse 15 which states, “She rises while it is yet night.” She is an early riser. I have not been too fond of this, but have been trying to wake up earlier and to my surprise it makes all the difference. I am not just waking up when I get to work, but already awake and ready to work. This allows me to be in a good mood for most of the day. I also realized that I have more time in the day. I can even write this blog right now, because I woke up early.

The second is “17 She dresses herself[b] with strength and makes her arms strong.”   She is strong. In the NLT the same verse says “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.”  I sometimes feel society wants women to be girly and not strong. It always seems to surprise people when I don’t mind doing the hard work that takes muscle. I’ve never been a girly girl and thought that Christian women were suppose to be ‘lady’ like. Although, I have meant non-lady like Christian woman, who I love, I had thought that they were suppose to seem weaker. This is not exactly true though. We are suppose to be strong, hard working women. We should have a strong drive to work and help out physically.

The next verse that stood out to me was the second half of 18. “Her lamp does not go out at night.” This was easy for me and I was really happy to see this. I am a night owl and love staying up late. Of course it is harder to do when you remember verse 15 which says you should also rise early. Still this means more time for everything you want/ should be doing.

My favorite chunk of verses, the one I think sums the whole passage up is 25-26. “25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,  and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”  A proverbs 31 woman is smart, dignified, kind and laughs. This paints a picture of happiness and contentment for me.

Studying this has begun to change my life. I can see the changes and feel them. I am taking charge with my writing and art work. I am working harder to be the woman God wants me to be, which is all that can be asked. I hope that by sharing this it will strengthen you and teach you that being a Biblical person is being strong, smart and awesome.

Here is the scripture I am referring to:

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

10 [a] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[b] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[c]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.