Flowing Thoughts of a Poetic Mind

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I’m going to let my thoughts flow out. I hope you do not mind the random ramblings of a lone dreamer, lost in her own heart. It was tightened up for so long that I grew to really miss it. I tried to feel it and share it but my heart was locked far away among the elastic bands of stress and worried. Chained behind what other people said and did around me.  My heart was bolted down to the walls of my consciousness, just beyond my reach, where I could not free it.

Yet I tried. I tried to express the stress that weighed me down. I tried to write about what was wrong, but I could not express. I could not find the words to shout that I had lost the thing I hold so dearly. The one thing that makes me myself was trapped and locked by the world around and I could not get to it.

It started rationally, yet quickly. I had to change my life, move to a new home. I had to unpack and be settled. Yet, settling did not happen. There was something that I forgot to take with me, some how in the busyness of life I forgot where my heart belonged. Still I knew it was around, until one day I did not. One day after weeks had passed I looked for myself, my heart and it was gone. My focus on work, and writings, and doings, and goings, and everything else that seemed so important had locked away my heart, my deepest being, until I was a stressed human with no true identity.

Funny how you can lose who you are so fast and hardly even notice. Something so valuable to us all is so easily lost, like a golden band worn on a finger or a diamond stud worn in your ear.

Thankfully I unlocked my heart and threw off the chains that held it away from me. Happiness and relief overwhelmed me, because I was me, I was whole and I am loved. You can not feel true love when your heart is chained down with stress and worries. So now with my heart freed I will dance and share the beauty that a freed heart sees.

The moral of the story is don’t lock your heart away with the stresses and worries of this world or you will lose something so beautiful, so magical and the one thing that makes you who you are. Let your heart be free at least a little each day.

I hope you enjoyed this and have a great day.

Oh and if you look at the categories you should be able to tell I have no idea what category this goes in. 

Writing Process (a free verse poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Poetry comes out
with my eyes closed
when sleep in near;
brilliant poems flow
when paper is far
and repeating is not enough.
Wisdom and intelligence overwhelm me
when the only outlet is to speak it to myself
or when no one is listening.

Yet when I open my eyes
words fly away
like fading dreams they fly.
The poetry inside is trapped
like a rat in a house unable to be freed
as soon as the paper is in reach.
I open my mouth when some is around
and only babble spews out.

So I write with my eyes closed,
freeing my poems from the paper trap
and write when no on is around
with the quiet of my mind.

DreamWard Bound (week of July 19- July26)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

success

As I start to wake up on this Sunny Saturday I’m finding it hard to get out of bed. It’s not because I don’t want to do this the things I am going to do today. I am plan on recording seven poetry readings and two original monologues, that I will be able to post during the week. I am plan to buy a new camcorder today, as a reward for meeting my goal of a weekly video and blog for two months. I also plan on painting a background painting for my twitter, Facebook, and this blog’s header, to join all my sites together. I’m looking forward to these things, I just don’t want to start the day. Yet, the day has to start so I will start it now.

Now onto this past week.

I am still trying to get back into the swing of things and getting back on my schedule with writing and creating. I did write some, but my television shows dragged me into a state of unproductive behavior. I still did write a poem and made sure that there was a post every day.  Most of the posts were left over from my vacation, but I still edited them this week and posted them.

This next week should be interesting since I will be recording so many poetry readings and videos today, that I’m excited to do. I am also excited because starting this week the DreamWard Bound series will become more useful. I am going to  stop posting every video that I make on this blog and have this blog focused on my writing more. Instead I will post the videos I did during the week here, under “the list of things I posted this week,” or whatever I decide to call my recap list that week. This change will free up some of my time and organize this blog.

If you have watched all my videos on this blog, you can still check to see if I posted things here. You will just have to look under my twitter or Facebook page, which is now on the side menu bar. You can also follow me on either one using those widgets. The twitter one you simply have an extra step of clicking on my name then you can click follow, if you are logged into twitter. I typically use them to post announcements of my videos being posted on YouTube (which you can also follow me on).

 

List of things I posted this week.

Where Magic May Grow
Plane Poem
Mindless Monologue
Out The Window
Intro To YouTube

Self-Searching

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

How do I see myself? Who do I want to be? Where am I now and how do I need to go?

I am still searching, still living the best I know how. I seem to need to be shown a way and to be guided down the right path. The only thing I know is that I am God’s girl.

Maybe I’m where I’m meant to be or maybe I have miles to go. I’m not sure so I will let God lead my way. I just want to end my journey at his home.

*

I would not be who I am without taking the steps I took. I would not be me if I found what I was looking for in the beginning. If there was an easy way to go, an easier path to take. I would not be the same person if there was not fight, no struggle to get the things I really want.

If I found my true love in college or at a bar I would try to hold on too tight and be forced to watch it crumble apart, broken by the pressure my heart would cause. I would not have known who I was, if I was not forced to learn about me on my own.

If I meant a producer or director on an airplane and he gave me the best role ever I would not know what to do. My nerves would wreck the abilities that are growing inside and I would be laughed out of my career. If I got it the easy way I would not have realized how much I really wanted it. If my art was not a fight I would not know how much I love it.

Yes, if my dreams would come true with ease in a moment I would ruin it too much for me  to bear. So I will be happy working and striving towards my goals. I will take one step after the other and work on being me. That way my dreams will not be my dreams, but goals that I will earn and work towards. If I work for them I will not be overwhelmed and I will be the person I am working towards being. They will be milestones in my path instead of the end of a dream.success

Thoughts on Flying

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

I normally don’t do posts on tips or help articles. I usually don’t give advice because this blog is about my art and what brings me joy. I would rather share my love and my journey, rather than tell anyone how to do things better. Well, if everyone I meet while flying does these things I would be very happy.

These are just little things that irked me, that I think should be common sense while you are on a flight.

1.) When you are boarding a flight and waiting for your zone to be called do not stand in a line formation near the actual boarding line. The line is slow enough and waiting around just blocks the people who can actually board, causing the process to be even longer.

2.) It is okay to ask people to rearrange, especially if you are a friendly soldier. I simply ask that you make sure you are sitting in the right seat. I will move and take any seat you want, but when it’s a late flight and you are in the wrong it just takes longer for everyone to get settled in. Yet, I am not that upset, because they were soldiers and really friendly.

3.) If you are a couple  with someone else in the window seat do not cross over to the other person’s area, at all. Lean into your significant other. If it is an over night flight and you cross over expect to at least be nudged. On that note, I am sorry to the lady who crossed over my bubble, for elbowing you while I slept. Well, I’m sort of sorry, but I can’t be held responsible for reacting to a personal bubble intruder while I was sleeping.

4.) Be friendly and smile. You never know who you’ll meet, where they’re from, why they are traveling or what a simple smile means to them. They could be coming from a long way away, causing them to be tired. They could hate flying and have anxiety. Whether they are worn, exhausted, or simply traveling everyone can use a single serving friends. If nothing more you may learn something new.

While writing the first draft I thought I would have more tips by coming home, but I guess that is it. Be friendly, think about others and pay attention.

I hope you enjoyed this little rambling about what to do while flying and let me know what you think.

Late fourth of July post

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

My first flight to North Carolina was filled with Soldiers. Like myself they got to the gate early and I was able to watch and listen to them. In serving together they had become to at least act as a large family. They joked, teased and talked like they were a loving family. One reoccurring theme in their conversations was how excited and happy they were to be going home. They were a family but it was clear that they missed their own families. One had a son that was potty training. One talked on the phone to her mom. Another talked about partying with friends when he got back to his hometown. A few others talked about their girlfriends or called them on their phone.

The conclusion I made through all of these small interaction is that these people love deeply. They love their families and friends. They love their soldier family, their battle-mates. They also love their country deeply. They must, because they would not leave the ones they loved if they didn’t. They would not risk everything or sacrifice time away from their home, from where their loved ones and life are, if they did not love their country. Soldiers are very loving, noble, and brave. I am very thankful for this fact on July fourth, and today.

Thank you, to all the men and women who served and still serve this country. I am very grateful for every soldier of this country.

Interesting Thought.

by tiffanymy creative self, random ramblingsPosted on No Comments

You may have noticed that this past weekend I spent a lot of time with my camera recording. I had my normal acting video, my painting, and a special short story for my nephew.

My hope in doing acting videos is for people to watch, be entertained, and hopefully give feedback. I am doing them so I can grow. My focus with them is others that I may not know. I’m trying to reach the widest audience with these videos.
I recorded my painting because I find it interesting to watch a painting come to life. I know a few friends enjoy watching them, but I do it because I like it. I’m not really focused on the audience with these videos.
Finally I recorded my short story for an audience of one. I only cared about entertaining my nephew. I had fun writing for him and showing my love to him in a unique way; in a way that was very much me. He has been a big fan of mine and he may not even know how much him liking my art means to me, but it means the world to me. I can always count on him for a good review.

What is interesting about these three videos? Well I realized something important. It is something that I should have known and as an artist I should remind myself every time before sitting/ standing to create. I realized that when you focus your art on someone you love or share your love through your art, that is when it means something. When love is at the center you will get noticed.

I almost didn’t post my short story on youtube. I was just going to post it on my sister’s facebook wall, but I wanted to make sure my nephew would be able to see it whenever he wanted. That was the only reason I posted it on youtube. Now it has 11 views, (I know that is not that much) when I was hoping for only 1. My painting has 14, when I did not care and my acting has 3 when I was going for at least 14.

The lesson in all of this is remembered to do what you love because you love it, not because of others.



DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

This week was different for me. I had Monday off, so I recorded an extra video. I then went and had fun with my friends. It was a great day and really relaxed me. I was in such a great mood and felt like everything was awesome.

Tuesday morning came, and I went to work. I worked longer than normal, because I had to pick up Kateland, from the airport. I knew that I would not have time to be creative after work, so I decided to listen to this week’s song on repeat as I worked. I hoped that listening to it so much would help me memorize it. Plus it’s Carry On My Wayward Son, so it is at least a good song.

On Tuesday I also starting to talk with friends about starting a book club, which will be even more incentive to read more.

Wednesday I wound up staying late at work also and went to play disc gold with co-workers for the first time. This surprise outing made it so that I did not have time for my creative time or read. It was still an awesome time and I am glad I went. It is nice to break from normalcy sometimes.

Thursday came after Wednesday (in case you are not sure how the week goes). After work I went to improv, read a few pages in my How to edit book, and had an idea about reviewing comics. Now I am just starting to read comics, so the reviews (which will be recorded as video) would be coming from the view-point of a noob. I think it may be interesting. I also wrote a couple of poems.

Friday was a pretty awesome day. Work went awesome and I got a bunch done. When I got home I came on here and realized I now have 100 followers. 100!!! Yeah I’m pretty excited about that. I may have even done a happy dance, because of it. On Friday I also posted my 100th post. That’s right two milestones in one day! I’m thrilled with this fact. I am also super happy, because my 100th post was actually two poems, one about bacon and the other about Hackers.( Yeah, I’m cool like that.)

Another happy note, I just started to walk and set a goal for myself. I will walk 5 miles every week, when I have done this for a month I will get nice exercise sneakers. Well I walked exactly 5 miles this week.

This week was very different for me, because I did not have time to meet every goal every day this week, but I still met milestones, did an extra video, had fun with friends, and found time to write. I was brought out of my comfort zone a little, with not having my normal week. This is a good thing, because life can not be lived in comfort zones and strict schedules. Although, I love planning, scheduling, and staying in my own little life, I actually don’t want that. You can live, so much more when you stretch yourself and let opportunities  happen organically.

 

success

 

DreamWard Bound (5/3-5/10/14)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on One Comment

What happened this week?

This week started off great. I woke up early on Monday and Tuesday to do yoga before work. Driving into work, since I carpool, I read. After work I was creative for over ten minutes each day.

I was doing great for those two days. Yet, on Wednesday morning something horrific and terrible happened. I woke with a sore throat! This ruined my works outs for the rest of the week, because I did not want to wake up early with a sore throat and move. I wanted to rest and baby my small aliment. I mean you can’t really do anything with a sore throat, right? You shouldn’t exercise or be active if you have post nasal drip.

It is also really hard to work out in my room, since it is a bit crowded with boxes, junk and a mess.  As you can read it is so easy for me to brush my fitness and health goals aside. It is not fun for me to work out with out a purpose and it is hard to work out with out a specific space that is solely for fitness. I have heard that there are buildings that are dedicated only for fitness and exercise. I may have to do more research on them and redefine my fitness goal or at least how I am going to achieve it.

I made most of the other goals. I still have to spend 2 hours working on my novel and have not recorded a video. The good news with both of those goals are that I have them planned for today. I should be posting the video later on today, along with another post about which paintings of mine are going up on eBay.

As far as the goals I made; Three days I worked on writing and two days I worked on a monologue type thing, which will be explained in the post with the video.  I did post two of the poems that I wrote this week on this blog. One was She, He, They and the other was Friendship. Both were quick little poems that took under ten minutes, but hey I wrote two poems, and was actively creative while working a full-time job with a 45 minute commute (one direction).

The 45 minute commute is also why I decided to do my reading in the car, which apparently not everyone can do.  Another note about the reading I finished reading a book about writing and read all of Romans (a book in the Bible) this week.

To wrap this blog up I just want to say that all in all this week was a good week and a good step towards my dreams, which are now my goals. Thank you for reading and I will be posting more later on today or maybe tomorrow. We shall see what happens.

DreamWard Bound: now with a plan

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

I am sure that if you read my blog you have noticed 1. I’m a dreamer and 2. I have not been totally sure what I am doing or know what steps I should take to achieve my dreams. I really felt it this week. I kept asking myself what was I do? What is really going on in my life? Two things helped me not to freak out one was a reminder from a youtube video, the other was a reminder from myself in the form of a old journal entries.  In the video Felicia Day talked about writing but really any dream/ creative talent. Creativity takes practice. The old journal entries simply reminded me of who I was and how far I came (which will be another blog).

With these reminders on my mind today,I spent the day focused on figuring how what success means to me, what dreams I want to make reality, and what I want my future to be. I did this by going through Donna Partow’s “21 Quick And Easy Ways To Make A Real Change In Your Life.” It is a short little 7 step e-book that use to be for free on her site. I believe that offer is over and she took the book down. It is a good simple book that can be a useful start.

By writing out my current goals and planing my daily schedule around it. I should have more interesting blogs to post and more writing to share with you as the days and weeks go by. First thing is first; what are my goals.

1.) I am going to read more than I watch television by reading a chapter in my Bible once a day and by reading at least a page in another book. For every chapter of the Bible I read and every page I read in my other book I will be rewarded with 10 minutes of television, with the exception of comic book, that ratio is 1 page = 1 minute.

2.) I am going to fit into my plaid pants by working out 15 minutes a day and 1 hour on Saturdays over the next 60 days. My reward will be a new outfit. – I want to draw attention to the fact that I am not trying to lose weight, simply trying to get into a healthier shape.

3.) I am going to strengthen my creativity by either writing or practicing a monologue for 10 minutes a day. After 2 months of doing this daily with 3 exceptions/ sick-days I will reward myself with a new video camera or editing software.

4.) I am going to post at least one video and one blog a week onto the internet (more specifically this blog) for accountability, feedback, tracking goals and growth and to find support that I other wise may not have found. Every 6 months of  posting 1 video and 1 post, so that it adds up to be 45 posts I will reward myself with a weekend free of responsibilities.

5.) I am going to finish the 2nd draft of my novel in 1 year (May 3, 2015) by working on it for 2 hrs a week. I will reward myself with a party with my friends.

 

I have plans, tracking tools, negative consequences if I don’t meet my goals, and other information that I won’t bore you with. I do not think you would enjoy reading more lists (if you do let me know . I will share). I also plan on doing a video tomorrow to go along with this post. We shall see how that turns out. I may decide just to paint instead. Either way stay tuned for a video tomorrow.