Artist ( A Monologue)

by tiffanymonologuePosted on 8 Comments

writing

I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observes the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.

Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.

When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end  when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.

You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.

UPDATE

A while ago I did record a reading of this monologue. I want to share it with you now.

An Early DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

Now that I have spent most of my day off from work being distracted by the internet and random stuff I think I can sit down and write about my week. I just have to remember what I did this week and what made it a journey towards my dreams.

I did write more than normal and Sunday I spent the day reading about God. Besides that I don’t think anything that interesting happened in my life this week.

I have read more about God and am trying to figure out what would be the best path for me. That seems to be the most important thing in my life now. It is good that I actually ordered my goals right this time. This goal is my number one goal both on paper and actions.

I feel my relationships growing, although I am pretty sure I didn’t say I love you everyday. I still am focusing in on the important relationships in my life and I hope the people in my life can tell.

I have worked on my book for 3 hours since making the 30 hours in 30 days goal. It’s not as far as I feel like I should be, but it is something. In those 3 hours I have also gotten farther than I thought I would.

I just rearranged my last two goals, because I am realizing that my acting and writing career/ passion trumps my physical goals. I do have a plan or experiment to boost my health and fitness, but acting and writing take up a bigger aspect of my thought life. Especially, lately I have been thinking of projects that would help me boost my audience base, income, or both.

One thing that I am working on is getting my visual art or sell-able stuff up on eBay. I also want to make more masks and post those on eBay, also. However, the masks will be after I get my paintings up on eBay. This is mostly because I already have paintings I can sell, while I only actually own one of my masks and it is not for sale.

I guess that’s all I have to say today about my journey. I’m simply taking small steps and coming up with ideas at this point. One day I will be able to run towards my dreams and take giant leaps of faith, but today I am only able to put one foot in front of the other.

The steps I took towards my dreams are as follows:

A Whispered Promise

A Pondering Poem

In This Moment

Dark Den

Weekly Writing Prompts

A Whispered Promise ( a monologue)

by tiffanymonologuePosted on No Comments

writing

As I am worrying and becoming stressed, a whispering voice says,”be patient.” So, I will be patient, but there is a difference between waiting ideally while your time and talents dwindle away and being patient. I will be patient, but I will still act on opportunities, and work on my talents. I will wonder down the path of life until I can run down the road, that I know it will become.

The timing may not be right, at this moment. This moment is fleeting, though, and soon will be over.  I will be patient in my working until it is time to leap.

A Pondering Poem

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on One Comment

poetry
Can art go on art;
Laying on it like a lover?
One inspiring the other,
romantically entangled,
but no romance to handle?

Would the art be part of the other art;
like one piece of the whole is the heart?
It would supply life,
living as section,
being whole by being only a part.

This is just a fast little poem, but I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.

In This Moment ( a monologue)

by tiffanymonologuePosted on One Comment

writing

What is important in my life at this moment? I am,well me and how the ink of my pen looks as it glides across the page. The shapes and lines of the words could be art in of themselves. Simple, smooth, yet they still hold a quality of complexity.

No, nothing to serious is important to me at this moment. I don’t have the energy to think to deeply on any subject. Instead I will simply watch the shapes come to life as my pen drags on.

Perhaps it is the light of the setting sun causing the almost magical make up of the ink on the paper or perhaps it’s the difference in pen. Have I become so accustomed to the think bold lines of my newly bough fountain pen already, that this thin lines ball point pen looks more elegant with its writing? I will say that it is a combination and leave it at that. I know it will not matter in a moment or two either way, when the sun sets or my mind wonders to the next topic to create.

Either way and for what ever the reason pen to paper is what is important to me at this moment.

Dark Den (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on One Comment

poetry

Please give me,
a dark den,
with a cool current flowing through.
Let the ground be a bed,
not dirt or grass.
Really I just want a dark den
to lay my bed.

For you see
I simply don’t want to be me.
Not that I do not like being me,
simply put I don’t want to be.
Just for a time,
just for a night.

All I want to be
is in a dark den,
one that is cool,
with my beautiful bed
to curl up comfy in.

Slowly Walking DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on 2 Comments
slowly walking DreamWard Bound

I seem to be taking steps towards my dreams and end goals. They are just small steps. I started to budget, so that I can save money to further my journey. With budgeting being done with my money I can see how far I have to go with being able to afford what I need to do. An example of what I am talking about is, I am trying to save money to afford an acting coach. I know I need an outsider’s eye to point me to what I need to do. I also want to make sure I actually have art supplies in my budget and that I will be able to give away at least a few books (once I finish it).

With working on my money budget I am realizing I need to do that with my time. I have a limited amount of time during a month, just like I have a limited amount of money. I need to make sure I am using my time wisely, even more than my money I feel like. I noticed a lot this week that although I am not watching television for three months I am still distracting myself and not being productive. Yes, I do need breaks and to relax, but switching from wasting my time on one thing to another does not help anything.

My goals are important to me and time is more important in completing them than money. I am looking up time management apps to help me, well manage my time. Hopefully, distractions will be cut down when I realize how little time I really have.

I am working on my goals. The hardest 2 this week seems to be my physical goal  (basically eating healthier and exercising more), and editing ( 30 hours in 30 days). I just can’t seem to find time to exercise, edit or make healthy meals. I am eating healthier and going to BJJ, but I’m not stretching myself.

Still, I can see where I am doing well. I am reading the Bible more, getting more sleep (thanks to no t.v.), saying ‘I love you,’ more, having more conversation, and looking towards my future in acting and writing. I am doing things, but I can always see room to improve.

I always am looking on ways to improve and usually hard on myself, but that’s just who I am.

I will end this post on a good note. I was able to write 3 things this week. Here they are.

Who For?

Can I Meet Fantasy?

Weekly Writing Prompt

Who For?

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on One Comment

poetry

Who do I do this for?
Who will win from my hard work?
Who will smile as I undress,
displaying my wonderfully curvy body?
Me, the answer is me.

I will win,
I will smile
and I am doing this for me.

I do not strive,
I do not fight,
I do not struggle
not for anyone,
except me and God.

If I do not do this for me,
then it is for God.
If I do not win,
then it is for God.
If I do not smile,
then I lost sight of God.

Who is all this for?
It is for me,
but if not me than for God.

Can I Meet Fantasy?

by tiffanyother updates, PoetryPosted on One Comment

poetry

I do not want to live this life.
I want to dance with the pixies,
laugh with the werewolves
and maybe meet a fairy or two.

I do not want to live this life.
I want to see my thoughts
in air bubbles that are
taken away by the evening’s breeze.

I do not want to live this life.
I yearn to be free.
Free of things tied to reality,
where there is magic.

I do not want to live this life.
Yet, I know I have to.
I guess I will just depend on love
to be my magic
and honestly that is enough for me.

The Week of Ideas to Live DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, other updatesPosted on No Comments

success

 

It seems like this week I came up with so many different ways that I could help boost my DreamWard Bound journey.

One you may have seen or read. It was a monologue from a character in my book. I did it in hopes that if more people know about the characters while I work on the book, when it is finished more people will be interested in reading it. At one point I will even share a portion of a chapter.

I am also thinking about turning DreamWard Bound posts into a book. I think my journey is interesting and I like the poetry and stories that help tell my journey. I am not in a place where there is an end to that book yet. I still will have to wait on something happening. Yet, when it does I want to be ready and have that boost me towards my end goals and dreams.

Another book idea or writing project I have is turning my 3 month challenge of no television into a book. I’m not sure if it will be just a kindle size or if it will be long enough for a real book. I am just starting on that journey and study. So far I have journaled my thoughts and study notes. I think I’m interesting enough for people to read that journey. At least I am interesting to me.

On another note I am starting to find myself picking apart the different aspects of the music I listen to. If this continues I may start a new hobby (creating music). I always need more hobbies and things to do. It would be another way for people to hear about me. However, it is not part of my end goal and I have never really been a musical person, so I am trying to just let that be. I already am stretched thin with my time.

I am working on my goals with the time I do have as I am thinking of new ways to boost me towards my end goals. I haven’t watched televisions, except when I was over a friend’s house for dinner. I believe I have said I love some one every day. I am pretty sure I’ve said it to multiple people. I am at least conscious of my health, but have been lacking on actually eating healthier and working out on days I can’t go to BJJ. Editing is also going slow, but I do plan to edit a bunch today. I have writing my monologue for this week and after I write four, I will pick one to perform and post on YouTube.

To end this post I will leave you with my list of things I posted this week, like I normally do.

Kitty’s Monologue

A Beauty and A Beast

Weekly Writing Prompt

Note: Links removed to site updates.