Better Late Than Never For DreamWard Bound

success

I figure writing my weekly update post is better late than not doing one. I will make it quick though, since I actually already did write this week’s post. My computer just decided that the internet wasn’t its friend though and for some reason would not save the post. It could also be the site, but more likely my computer, since its old and filled up with a bunch of different projects.

I did awesome with my God goal and listened to at least an hour of an audiobook about God centered things every day this week.  I also did pretty well with my weight/ fitness goal. I realized that I’m starting to see definition and I have lost 5 lbs since starting to actually weigh myself and try.

I didn’t do so great with editing my novel, since I was planning on doing that yesterday. Instead though I got the pleasure of staying in bed with a killer headache. Basically my Saturday was me waking up at 8 drinking a bunch of water, having breakfast and going to class with a slight headache. The Friday night ratio of whiskey to water may have been a bit off, since I had whiskey but no water the entire night of dancing. I thought I would be fine but after a full Brazilian Jit-Jitsu class I was not feeling well at all. I went home, showered, and went back to bed. I slept most of the day and then went out to a birthday dinner.  Needless to say I did not get any editing done this weekend.

I would have worked on writing or editing today, but I had another birthday party to go to after Church today. This week I should be able to write and edit. I look forward to at least one night this week sitting down working on things.  I did fix my break light this weekend, so I was productive. It’s not as productive as I usually am, but that break light has been out for months.

Now, I will leave you with the two things I posted this week. This next week should be more. At least I hope this next week I will post more.

Bury Deep

Weekly Writing Prompt

Bury Deep (A Poem)

poetry

I battle with you
as if the war was needed;
as if I had no feet to stand on.

You tear me down
and I let you,
and I feel defeated.

You whisper awful thing
like I’m not really loved;
like I cannot stand on my own

My heart and happiness is real
but you tell me to ignore it;
but you tell I’m ignorant.

You know my every weakness
and you use it for my harm,
and you use it to keep me down.

But I am strong,
stronger than the war you wage
the defeat you push
the hateful whispers
and stronger than your lies.

I know if you were anyone else
I would push you away
spit in your face
or just turn my back.

If you were anyone else
I would be stronger,
but you are the little voice
the one the is buried deep
trying for weakness to keep.

I can not spit in your face
or turn my back.
I can not push you down
or choke you out.

Yet, there is this little box
it has a lock.
You little voice can go in that
and be buried very deep.

Where you say I’m a fatty
I choice to see a beauty.
Where you see hurt
I see my healing.
You see struggle as failure
I see it as a lesson.
Where you see loneliness
I see self-love.

So go in your little box
and I lock you up.
I will bury you deep
because your lies I don’t want to keep.

DreamWard Bound like always.

success

I actually am not always dreamward bound. Some days I don’t even think about my goals. However, I feel most like myself when I am. If I have a goal, a plan and a schedule I am happiest. That is why I am happily writing this post.

I at least feel like this week went real well. I revised my goals early in the week and revised my schedule last weekend. I didn’t make every goal and did change one midweek. Still I worked towards my goals.

I should tell you what my new goals are now, before I tell you how I did with them. It might make sense to you if I told you the aim before telling you how close or far I came to the target.

My first goal is to finish my second draft of my novel by May 3rd. This has been my goal for almost a year now. I just kept saying it was a priority but not really acting like it was. I kept writing blog posts and poems. I did not actually give most of my time to it. Now I will. I have my schedule worked out, so that I am editing more. I am also going to take most of next weekend, if not all of it, and dedicate it to getting the novel done. I may even rent a hotel room in order for fewer distractions.

My next goal is the one that I actually revise twice this week. First I was going to try to read the Bible within a year again. The trouble I found with that was that I actually did not pick up the Bible. It was too scary and big of a challenge. I decided it was best to change it. I wanted to focus on God, but actually focus on learning and not just reading. If I stuck with reading the Bible within a year I would not be focusing on learning about God. I would only focus on reading and reading fast enough. It would be come a chore like it had in the past and not  a joy and learning experience. So, I changed my goal to taking 10 minutes a day to learn about God. I will either pray for 10 minutes or listen to some audiobook, podcast or sermon. I may also read a book or a chapter in the Bible. This gives me more options and is not as big as a project.  After a month I will increase the amount of time I spend learning about God.

After that the next important goal is my weight/ health goal. I want to lose 30lbs by the start of next year. The main reason I want to lose this weight is to make jiu-jitsu easier and if I do compete I won’t be in the heavyweight division if I lose the 30lbs. Honestly, though I am not sure if I will end up losing 30 pounds. I want muscle and having muscle is more important to me than weighing less, so if I lose a bunch of weight and realize that I am losing muscle I’ll stop. Right now though, I want to lose 30lbs.

This goal is followed by my creative writing goal. I  want to get back up to writing 5 creative posts a week. This will include my weekly writing prompt, but I will also try to actually use the writing prompts to write more posts. That was the idea for the weekly writing prompts to start with. It was going to be inspiration for the next posts. I got busy though and my schedule was just not allowing for me to write. I want to start writing more, again. That is why my goal will be to get up to 5 posts a week, well 6 if you count my DreamWard bound posts.

Finally my last goal is to read a book a month and I mean really read. I am not going to count audio books as reading. At least I won’t count them at this time. Maybe in the future my ideas will change, but for now I want to actually read a book a month. I mean I have a years worth of real hard copies of books and even more e-books. The main focus for this goal though is to expand my knowledge base, get inspiration and learn about different author’s voices.

I think these goals will be a good mix of challenging and fun to do. I am looking forward to accomplishing them and letting you know how I am doing with them every week.

A New DreamWard Bound Post

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This week was a good week. I posted a few extra poems this week and wasn’t too stressed at work. I also planned out my normal weeks today. I am slowly getting back on track with being productive. I am also going to sit down, either today or tomorrow, and look at my goals. I need to take time to actually look at my goals and decide how I what I want my goals to be.  Time is a resource that I am lacking these days.

On another note, I am seeing improvements with my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu skills. This is funny to say, since I am a white belt, which means I have every little skills. Yet, I am improving. I can do things I haven’t been able to do and learning how to move my body and my partners body in order to get submissions or escapes. I know I’m still far from my blue belt, but it’s a journey and I can seeing the steps I’m taking moving me towards the first goals.

That is really all I have to say about my week. I did not do anything too excited, so I will leave you with my list of things I wrote.

Pairs Of Two

A Needed Poem

Weekly Writing Prompt

The Needed Poem

poetry

I needed a vacation,

so I took a walk.

When needed a nap

I sat by the ocean,

and when I needed to feel love

I watched the sunset.

You see I don’t need much

just the ocean breeze,

a warm bed to lay my head

and the beach to remind me of my home.

 

 

DreamWard Bound, sort of.

success

This week was full of work and being stressed out. I still found time to do some extra writing. I posted one poem and have two more to post this week. It was a long week though and I’m not even sure what I did. I just know that it felt never-ending and the days blurred together.

Since my week was so focused on work I don’t have much to say about my progress towards my goals and dreams. It feels like my future is taking a back seat to my present surrounds. I want to sit down and figure out how to be more focused on my future, but that takes time. We’ll see when I can actually get back on my dream track.

Until I do here is what I’ve posted this last week.

Weekly Writing Prompt(#7)

Half way to 100 days

Contrasting Human (Poetry)

Can We Just Say (Poetry)

Dream’s journey to Reality

A Contrasting Human (Poetry)

poetry

My weakness is a valley
to the great hills of my strength.
My sadness and despair is the darkness
where the light of my happiness shines.
My naivety and optimism
contrasts my intelligence and planning.
I hope and worry.
I am confident after I am shy.
I am one coin with multiple sides.
I am human.
So I will push you forward
while I pull myself back
then I’ll push on forward
perhaps wanting to curl up in a cave
but never giving up,
because in my weakness I find strength
and I am intelligent enough to be optimistic in my planning.
The world is filled with both negatives and positives.
I focus on the positives
although I see the negatives.

Half way to 100 days

ocean walk 192

 

I finished another page of my log for my 100 day challenge, so it’s time for the list of things I thought about while, after or during my workouts.

It’s numbering starts at 1 but really it’s day 27.

  1. Sometimes seeing the tally marks is the only thing to make you/ me to do another day.
  2. If someone, even yourself, says you can’t tell them/ you that you can or show them.
  3. Today I didn’t really know why I was doing my challenge, but that did not stop me from doing it.
  4. Today fun was brought, along with struggle, learning, fighting and sore body. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  5. Forgot to mark I guess I wasn’t thinking only doing.
  6. It’s midnight, I’m not going to be smart. Do it. IT’s easier once it’s a habit.
  7. Another midnight workout. Tired but smiling. I did stuff today. Improv, site and workout.
  8. Not related, but still what I was thinking. Beauty is in the heart and soul not body. New tonight I actually do a sit up fully.
  9. Sometimes you learn from what other people do. I’m smiling. (It was a class day.)
  10. My knee is hurting so I changed things up and did extra of what I could. I didn’t let pain win, I adapted.
  11. Ow, everything hurts, but that doesn’t mean I’m quitting gotta keep fighting on. (It was a class day.)
  12. If I feel my muscles they are solid and great. I’m sore but strong.
  13. I wanted to go for a walk today as if my brain is changing.
  14. I realized today I’m working on being the dream girl for my dream guy which some how means I can’t live in a dream world. (I actually wrote a post about this.)
  15. 42% done. (I was a day off). I’m feeling awesome about working out when I wanted to sleep.
  16. Friends make things better. Also experiencing different things. (It was a class day.)
  17. A workout routine or goal routine gets better with momentum so once you start don’t stop.
  18. It always is great when people can see the results of your efforts. (It was a class day.)
  19. Just looking and knowing your progress/ journey helps.
  20. No one really knows where you started only results and what you share.
  21. Just doing what you set out for means something.
  22. I want to be where I want to be but I know once I get there I’ll want to be somewhere else.
  23. Halfway there baby! And almost didn’t even mark it. (Again a day early)
  24. I feel like I had an accomplished day, which I haven’t felt like in a while. It made me want to do more.
  25. Make sure you’re smiling more than you are frowning.
  26. Schedule, plan and remember your goals during the day.
  27. I’m tougher and stronger than I give myself credit for and you most likely are the same.

DreamWard Bound, Still.

success

I did not fall off the face of the planet or get kidnapped by aliens. Nothing drastic or dramatic has happened to me. I did not even go on a spontaneous vacation. I simply was drained of energy when I had time to write this week and at the end of last week.

I did jot down thoughts and notes, which I will be completing today, hopefully. They just did not make it to completion or to being published, yet. A main reason for writing and not publishing, besides the time and being drained thing, is that I just did not want to fight with my computer or any computer. I love simply writing with a pen and paper more than with typing when I have things I need to figure out. This week seemed to be either figure out stuff or don’t think. Those were my two options this week.

That being said, I don’t have too much else to say, at least not in this post. I could go on and tell you how Otis (the cat that lives in my house) tried to trap me in my bed or that I wore two different shoes the day after. Those deserve their own post though. I wouldn’t want to go off on that tantrum.

I also have a realization post and a pleading poem. I will be sharing both this week, but the poem will be hard for me. I typically try to hold off on certain types of poems before I  publish them. This time I just want to be brave and show my heart how it is now.

So, stay tune there will be more writings this week.

DreamWard Bound From A Packed Week

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This week was a packed week for me. I of course worked at my day job every day, but I was on a role that I enjoy. After work on Monday I went to my BJJ class, which was great. I even stayed for a little while after class, since it was an open mat time.

Tuesday I went to a Bible study and Wednesday I spent the night with friends.

Where it gets kind of crazy is Thursday. Not only did I work and go to my improv group, I also led the group and worked on this site. I wound up finishing my painting portfolio.

Friday I went to a show and took pictures and video.

Today (Saturday) I had class and took a nap, so it wasn’t that busy. I guess when I write it all out I didn’t do too much. It just felt like the week was packed because I did not have a single night to myself.

I also did write at some point during the week. Here is the short list of things I wrote this week.

Writing Prompt #5

A Quarter of the way to 100