Self-Searching

How do I see myself? Who do I want to be? Where am I now and how do I need to go?

I am still searching, still living the best I know how. I seem to need to be shown a way and to be guided down the right path. The only thing I know is that I am God’s girl.

Maybe I’m where I’m meant to be or maybe I have miles to go. I’m not sure so I will let God lead my way. I just want to end my journey at his home.

*

I would not be who I am without taking the steps I took. I would not be me if I found what I was looking for in the beginning. If there was an easy way to go, an easier path to take. I would not be the same person if there was not fight, no struggle to get the things I really want.

If I found my true love in college or at a bar I would try to hold on too tight and be forced to watch it crumble apart, broken by the pressure my heart would cause. I would not have known who I was, if I was not forced to learn about me on my own.

If I meant a producer or director on an airplane and he gave me the best role ever I would not know what to do. My nerves would wreck the abilities that are growing inside and I would be laughed out of my career. If I got it the easy way I would not have realized how much I really wanted it. If my art was not a fight I would not know how much I love it.

Yes, if my dreams would come true with ease in a moment I would ruin it too much for me  to bear. So I will be happy working and striving towards my goals. I will take one step after the other and work on being me. That way my dreams will not be my dreams, but goals that I will earn and work towards. If I work for them I will not be overwhelmed and I will be the person I am working towards being. They will be milestones in my path instead of the end of a dream.success

Thoughts on Flying

I normally don’t do posts on tips or help articles. I usually don’t give advice because this blog is about my art and what brings me joy. I would rather share my love and my journey, rather than tell anyone how to do things better. Well, if everyone I meet while flying does these things I would be very happy.

These are just little things that irked me, that I think should be common sense while you are on a flight.

1.) When you are boarding a flight and waiting for your zone to be called do not stand in a line formation near the actual boarding line. The line is slow enough and waiting around just blocks the people who can actually board, causing the process to be even longer.

2.) It is okay to ask people to rearrange, especially if you are a friendly soldier. I simply ask that you make sure you are sitting in the right seat. I will move and take any seat you want, but when it’s a late flight and you are in the wrong it just takes longer for everyone to get settled in. Yet, I am not that upset, because they were soldiers and really friendly.

3.) If you are a couple  with someone else in the window seat do not cross over to the other person’s area, at all. Lean into your significant other. If it is an over night flight and you cross over expect to at least be nudged. On that note, I am sorry to the lady who crossed over my bubble, for elbowing you while I slept. Well, I’m sort of sorry, but I can’t be held responsible for reacting to a personal bubble intruder while I was sleeping.

4.) Be friendly and smile. You never know who you’ll meet, where they’re from, why they are traveling or what a simple smile means to them. They could be coming from a long way away, causing them to be tired. They could hate flying and have anxiety. Whether they are worn, exhausted, or simply traveling everyone can use a single serving friends. If nothing more you may learn something new.

While writing the first draft I thought I would have more tips by coming home, but I guess that is it. Be friendly, think about others and pay attention.

I hope you enjoyed this little rambling about what to do while flying and let me know what you think.

no sleep

poetry

No, no you can not sleep

not when the sun-shines

not when the heat beats.

No there is no slumber

not when they day is bright

and the sun shines it’s light.

No, no you can not sleep

not until the night falls

and the sun sets.

No there is no sleep

not under the children closes their eyes

and the nights cools your tan.

Late fourth of July post

My first flight to North Carolina was filled with Soldiers. Like myself they got to the gate early and I was able to watch and listen to them. In serving together they had become to at least act as a large family. They joked, teased and talked like they were a loving family. One reoccurring theme in their conversations was how excited and happy they were to be going home. They were a family but it was clear that they missed their own families. One had a son that was potty training. One talked on the phone to her mom. Another talked about partying with friends when he got back to his hometown. A few others talked about their girlfriends or called them on their phone.

The conclusion I made through all of these small interaction is that these people love deeply. They love their families and friends. They love their soldier family, their battle-mates. They also love their country deeply. They must, because they would not leave the ones they loved if they didn’t. They would not risk everything or sacrifice time away from their home, from where their loved ones and life are, if they did not love their country. Soldiers are very loving, noble, and brave. I am very thankful for this fact on July fourth, and today.

Thank you, to all the men and women who served and still serve this country. I am very grateful for every soldier of this country.

Two Lanturne poems… Look Up

poetry

Lanturne

The Lanturne is a five-line verse shaped like a Japanese lantern with a syllabic pattern of one, two, three, four, one.

Sun
rises
over the
blue sky so high
sigh.

Touch
the sky
with your dreams
love your future
dream.

Since this was a short and sweet I wrote two.

Let me know what you think. Comments are always welcomed.

As a friendly reminder I am on vacation, so I am not doing my regular DreamWard Bound update post. 

Tears (a monologue)

I’m going to try something new with my youtube channel when I get back from vacation. I will do more original things, like poetry readings, short storytelling, original monologues and maybe even scenes. You will my blog followers will get to read my stuff first and I will be reading the poems that get the most likes per week.

That being said the first original monologue that I will be doing when I get back is title “Tears.” I am hoping to put together an entire script with these different monologues, but I have to start some where, so here you go.

I broke down in tears today. I know you saw. I know you heard. I was praying to you to mend my broken and stressed heart. I was praying for a fix that would happen quick, when you whispered, “the work already has started and I already am doing my part.”

What more can I do? What more do you want, Lord? I cried out in pain, what is my part and where do I fit in? I am lost, angry, and tired of waiting around. Waiting for my real journey to begin. And I know you must have laughed at that because although I didn’t hear you over my crying and doubt I know you said my journey had already begun at the very start.

Look at how far you brought me, while I kicked and screamed. You carried me when I fought you, like a screaming baby all the way. You have great plans for me, or so I hear. They’re plans I do not see, so I scream. Yet, you will never let go of my heart even when I try to push you away.

My soul is a cranky child but you are always patient.I want the sugar and sweets of the world but you have given me the ability to reason instead. I never want to quit playing my own games but you put me to bed so I can rest. I want it all but you show me how. Yes, you show me myself and my life, past, present and future, when my tears come screaming out. So I thank you with dried tears under my eyes.

Radical (Minute Poetry)

poetry

Minute Poetry

The Minute Poem is rhyming verse form consisting of 12 lines of 60 syllables written in strict iambic meter. The poem is formatted into 3 stanzas of 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4; 8,4,4,4 syllables. The rhyme scheme is as follows: aabb, ccdd, eeff

Tell me how far one soul can go
How does one grow
with painful hope
in a brain’s lobe?

Are we just monkeys with disease?
can we release
the pain inside?
should we just hide?

No, I say we are much much more.
more than any lore.
More than animal
We are radical.

Okay, one I know the last line has 5 syllables. I actually did that almost on purpose in hopes that would stand out. Also because that is the word that needed to go there. I changed and fought with every other line, but the last line needed to be radical. 

Two, this title is misleading. I thought it would take a minute to write. That is not true. With a second per syllable so it should take a minute to read.

Let me what you think.

Limerick

poetryLimerick

A Limerick is a rhymed humorous or nonsense poem of five lines which originated in Limerick, Ireland. The Limerick has a set rhyme scheme of : a-a-b-b-a with a syllable structure of: 9-9-6-6-9. The rhythm of the poem should go as follows: Lines 1, 2, 5: weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak Lines 3, 4: weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak, STRONG, weak, weak This is the most commonly heard first line of a limerick: “There once was a man from Nantucket.”

I went to the sea to see you see.
Yet, I  could see nothing but the sea.
So I went to the shore
Just so I would be sure
That I could still see beyond the sea.

 

 

Inside the Listening Tree. (Short Story)

There once was a tree that was called the listening tree. It lived in a picturesque forest with blue and purple flowers growing at its base. People would climb this tree in the beautiful forest. They would sit on the many limbs of the tree and told the tree all their problems. For years and years the tree grew and people climbed the tree to talk with it. They left all their issues with the tree and some way or another the issues and problems left with the tree would get solved.

As more and more people talked to the tree and more and more problems were solved, more people heard and came. Soon people were traveling from far away to talk to this tree. By the time this time the tree was the largest tree most has ever seen. It appeared to the people who lived closest to the tree that the more people came to the tree the larger it became.

Every day for years and years every limb was covered with people chattering about their woes. Then one day only one came. It was a little girl with tears in her eyes. She could not even reach the first branch to climb up on the tree, so she sat down by the flowers and told the tree, “I know I’m not special and I know that everyone else’s issues are more important. I’m just a little girl, but I’m all alone and no one even notices me. I would like some one to at least greet me.”

As she finished her request a little door opened and out walked a tiny old woman with wings who flew up to be near the little girl’s face.

Astonished the little girl asked, “Who are you?”

“I am the mother of this tree, every limb has one of my children listening to your people. No one has even talked to me in many years, so I know how you feel.”

The little girl smiled. “Thank you for letting me see you and thank you for noticing me.”

“My dear girl, being noticed is not your issue. What breaks your heart is that you are alone. I can see it in your eyes. Come live with us and you will never be alone.”

“I can not live in a tree or in the forest.”

The mother laughed and told her, “We are magical. I will shrink you down and give you wings. That is when you can choose to either be a listener with me or a giver with my husband.”

“What is a giver?”

Smiling the mother told the child, “A giver is one who gives the people what they need to mend their hearts or fix their problems.” She saw the confusion in the girl’s eyes and told her, with a sweet voice, “We do not fix other’s problems for them, we only open their eyes and give them the tools.”

“Are the givers ever alone?”

“When they are out helping others they may be.”

“I think I would like to stay with you then and be a listener.”

“As you wish,” The mother said and with a kiss on the girl’s head the girl was turned into a tiny winged version of herself.

 

This was a quick short story that I wrote at my day job when the internet was down. 

And just as a reminder I will be on vacation starting Thursday.

writing

DreamWard Bound (week 6/22-6/28)

success

Let’s just jump right into my weekly review of my week. On Monday I wrote, “It’s only Monday and already I have done extra. Sunday I had some free time, since I got everything I needed to get down during the weekend done on Saturday. That being the case I painted and recorded it. You can find it at Heart On Fire.

I also wrote my Palindrome poem on Monday, which was sort of fast. I thought a lot about it and finally came up with something that fit the rules. It’s not my favorite, but 6 people liked it in 2 hours, so what do I know. I also wrote For Now, which is a Katauta Poem. That poem posted on Tuesday, because I do the whole pacing my posts out thing.

My productivity was not as great the following days. I thought I would be getting a lot more done and a bunch of extra stuff posted. Yet, I do have 7 links for you to click in the “List of Stuff I did this week” list. I guess it was a pretty good week.

Now, unbeknownst to me one of my goals have changed. Well my creative goal has changed.  I’ve been thinking about “officially” changing my creative goal for a while now. I’ve been trying to figure out what I could change it to. Well on Wednesday I figured out exactly what it has turned into. It is now one post, whether poem or otherwise, a day. Every 2 months that I post a poem or other post daily I will buy something to further my artistic career. Since this is such a catch-all I can also use it to create a one of a kind super computer. I’m thinking something with a separate storage drive that is about one terabyte big and as much ram that I can possibly have. Oh and the latest video card and a bunch of editing software. Before you ask, yes I realize how much of a nerd I’m turning into. I guess nerding out comes with my job (my day job that it).

Before you click on all the exciting links, please know that I will be going on vacation this coming up week and will not be posting as much. I hope to get a few days in before I fly out, but I won’t be taking my computer. Lack of computer means lack of posting abilities. Hopefully when I come back I will have a bunch of new material to share.

List of stuff I did this week

Stated Song: Storybook

Naani

Ode to Bed

No Structure Poem

For Now

Interesting Thoughts

Palindrome Poem

Heart on Fire

Heart on Fire 003