I, Tiffany Joy, am an author and love to write. I have many different writing styles which depend on what it is I am writing. I write both fiction and non-fiction. I also write poetry.
Here I stand is an original monologue I wrote in 2014. I noticed a few months ago it wasn’t on this site, so here it is.
Here I stand: Monologue
Here I stand. I am standing on my own two feet, wishing that they were not attached, so that I could move around and see exactly where I am standing. Where am I standing? What am I doing and why am I staying?
Still at least I’m standing on my own two feet, right? And I have the world ahead of me. I am making it on my own. Yes, I am doing my own thing living this adult life. Still I have questions and I never know if I’m doing everything right.
Most days, actually, I know I’ve done at least one thing wrong. But I’m making it on my own. Living my own adult life, alone. Yes, I am standing on my own two feet, but you know what sometimes I wish I wasn’t. I wish that there was some sort of clear arrow pointing me one way or the other. But, I guess the adult life doesn’t entirely work that way. So, here I stand. I am standing on my own two feet.
Come easy please
with no pain or alarm.
Be at peace when you come,
a hopeful meoldy
one filled with joy.
Come to me easy please
with no struggle or strife.
Calmly enter
and be with me.
It's all I want
all I desire.
Come easy please.
Come Easy is a poem about how I would like things to come easy to me. This can relate to both successes in my art business and love life.
As you take risks, embrace change, and achieve your goals, reflect regularly on your journey.
Some times it’s hard to be aware of your progress and track valuable milestones. Creating goals often and assessing the goals may not be enough. It is easy to lose track of your overall progress and forget how far you’ve come in your art journey.
We all start somewhere with our creative life and we can get caught up in creating that we forget that we’re making progress. I started with art and writing as a passionate hobby. It would rub me the wrong way when someone called it a hobby, but that is what it was. My desire was for my creativity to be more. However, at the start of my journey it was only something I did in my free time.
My Journey
I then took actions and plan more time around my writing and painting. The act of planning my time around my creative was the first actual step in my artistic career. It was not my last step, though. I shifted my life more and more so I could make it a business and my career. I’m still working on making it a successful business, but I have been meeting wonderful milestones.
One way I track my milestones is to write achievements in a notebook. This way when I’m unaware of my progress, I can look back at all the wonderful stuff I’ve done. Some milestones are things I can control, like publishing “To Love.” Other milestones are outside my control, like making $100 from “To Love”. It is a wonderful practice to track both what your actions and the actions of your audience.
In the recent past, I’ve also used time tracking apps to see how I’ve increased in my time spent on different projects and on my art business.
My personal journal also has notes on my artist journey. When I journal, I do reflect on how my art has changed and looking at how I feel my goals and dreams are going.
I do also have an art business notebook where I take notes on ideas, research, and plan out my business and career. I can go back and examine how my business has morphed and changed over time, which is helpful in keeping me moving forward.
All this regular reflection has kept me motivated and recharges my inspiration. I have evidence written down that I’m already making progress, so I want to keep going.
Let me be
in the warm summer air
hugged by loved ones
with their children near.
Let me be
in the lovign garden
without a single care
with smiles on the faces of those I hold dear.
Let us be
together for now and always.
I wrote “Let Me Be” in July 2020 while I waited for my delayed summer vacation. I was missing my family and longing for our annual summer vacation, which is always a time to relax and be surrounded by love.
You can learn a lot from every chapter of life if you keep an open mind and look for learning opportunities. There are lessons you can learn from a single’s life. There are always lessons. Once you’re comfortable being single, you’ll be able to learn a lot. Among the things I’ve learned while being single, there are two important lessons that stick out in my mind.
Lesson 1
The first lesson is that doing things alone is okay. You won’t spontaneously combust if you go to a restaurant alone. The sky won’t fall if you go to the movies alone. It is a valid choice to be out in public doing things you want to do with no one else. You can go to the beach without other people or go on hikes with just yourself. The more you are alone, the more you’ll realize how nice it is.
Lesson 2
The second lesson is that it is important to take care of yourself. When you are single, you don’t have another person to go on dates with or to pamper you. There isn’t someone making you feel special or talking to you about your issues. The wonderful news is that you can and should do that all by yourself. You can pamper yourself and do most normal date night ideas alone. Self care is important in any chapter of your life. When you are single, it is easier to find time to make self care a part of your life and routine. You can build habits of self care and see that you can do nice things for yourself.
It is liberating to become self-sufficient. It frees you from a lot of things you may assume you need to do or think you can’t do, because you are single. There are no rules against going out by yourself or taking care of yourself how you see fit. If you do, you may even find you are marvelous company.
Want More?
This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.
If you read my book To Love, you know I’ve tried online dating. I tried 3 times and technically I am still on a site. I have had little luck with online dating, but I have gotten a couple stories from it.
My favorite story is one that took place during my second round of online dating. I started talking with a guy that lived on the other side of the country. It would be a long-distance relationship, but I didn’t want that to stop me. We both figured we should try to see if a long-distance thing would work.
We talked via texts for about a week, then had a video date. Because of work issues, the video date almost didn’t happen. When the date happened, I already had my pajamas on with messy hair. He was already relaxing in his bed in his pajamas, which did not include a shirt.
We chatted for a little, but he had to get off to help a friend who was texting him. After the call, I texted him to tell him I was getting ready for bed and I would talk to him the next day. He responded with saying he didn’t think we should continue the long-distance thing.
I asked “why.” He acted like it would offend me. My goal was to learn if it was something I should change. I wanted any feedback I could get too, since I don’t date too much. After a bit of prying, he told me his shallow reason.
His reason to stop talking, “neck fat.”
I immediately realized that was all on him. It didn’t offend me and I almost found his reason funny. He acted like he could break my heart. He told me he was aware of his shallowness and that he tried to get over his issues. It seemed like an actual struggle for him.
I suggested working through this struggle with God in prayer and meditation to which he responded with he had, but it’s just how God made him.
I stopped the conversation after that. If you act like something is an issue and want to change it, you can’t also say it’s just who you are. If you don’t like what you see in yourself or who you are, you do possess the power to change.
I love telling the story. I find the specificness with his shallowness funny. He did not care that I was not a twig or that I have a rounder body than he would prefer. It was specifically my neck fat.
I guess I shouldn’t have the phone like this.
Want More?
This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.
In the “Chronically Single” post, I mentioned that being single can be a blessing. There are both joys and a downside to singleness.
Instead of being overly wordy I figured I’d list them out for you.
The Joys Of Singleness
I Don’t need to share the bed.
My sleep cycle is not interfered with by someone else’s.
My free time is my own to schedule. I don’t need to check-in with anyone.
I can spend more time learning about myself.
Time with God and growing in a relationship can be priority in my life.
My plans and the life I want to live are my own. I do not have to work around my partner’s desires
My money is my money, not our money, so I can spend it how I see fit.
I don’t have to worry about making food for anyone else. I can make what I want.
The Downside Of Singleness
My plans and the life I am living are my own. I don’t have someone to help me make life choices. It’s all up to me.
There is no real daily support with challenges in my life or other life stuff. If needed I have to actively look for support.
I need to do all the household chores.
My money is the only money I have to survive (there is no extra income from a spouse).
There isn’t anyone to challenge me to grow. At least not within my home.
It can get lonely being single.
These are my own lists. If you are single, whether chronically or just temporarily single, I am sure your list is a bit different. I would love to hear what are the joys and downside of being single are for you. Let be know below or on one of my social media accounts (tiffyjoyberry).
Want More?
This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.
“I Believed” is a poem about my relationship with theater and my beliefs. They have changed over the year, but one thing remains true the stage is part of me.
I don't think I ever truly believed;
not in what was given to me,
not in what I once chose.
No I don't think I ever truly believed
in Wicca, in paganism.
No I didn't believe
in the magic of nature;
not fully,
not until I saw a creator.
What I truly believe in was the stage.
The lights and sound.
I truly and fully believed
in the magic of theatre,
the constructed fantasies.
I truly believed in
standing tall and giving it my all,
shedding reality showing my soul
with words written, but not my own.
Yes,I believed in the stage,
but confusion of a new life,
in the growing to be an adult.
I forgot.
I turned from my first love
as though a choice had to be made,
as though it was the Creator or the stage.
Not realizing the creator made me for the stage.
Not realzing that all of me deserves to breathe.
Now I believe
There is a Creator up above,
who smiles and loves
when I take the stage and am all of me.
Now I believe
in all of me.
What do I mean by chronically single and what is it like?
I define being chronically single as not going on a romantic date for over 5 years. This means you haven’t been in a romantic relationship or have had a romantic possibility for 5 years.
The short answer of what it is like is that it sucks and it is a blessing.
After you accept being single as the stage of life you’re in you can do a lot of things you didn’t realize you could do.
Going to dinner and a movie by yourself is a treat and becomes less awkward. Simply becoming more independent is a huge blessing that makes me feel free.
After awhile I realized I became happier and happier for my friends who find love. It turned from ‘why not me’ to ‘yay them.’ Happiness and love is not a competition it’s a celebration.
I am also able to see non-romantic love more and cheerish my friends and family more now that I stopped obsessing over my romantic life or lack there of.
Yes, I do still yearn for a romantic partner and someone to share my life with in a special way. However, it’s not the right timing yet.
I do pray for my future husband, whoever he may be. I am trying to keep my heart open to finding him. It’s not my whole life and I’m okay in the stage of life I’m in.
I’m learning a lot from being chronically single and loving what I’m learning, even if it is tough at times.
Want to read more?
This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.
