DreamWard Bound (4/20-4/27/14)

This week’s update is late. This week’s update is short. If I was not tired this week’s update would also be clever.

It has been a long week. I drove Kateland to meet up with Zach Deputy, so that she could go on tour with him.  I actually had to check in order to make sure that it had only been a week. I was right, that happened this week. We had dinner with Zach, which was a great time. I got see what a cool guy he is and he made one comment that really was great. He said that he made and created his music to get that played in his head out. This is why I right and paint. It was amazing to hear someone else having a similar brain to me. I write and paint because if I did not I would have so many stories floating around in my head I would not know what to do.

Most of my week was the same old same old. I did write a poem on Tuesday called Black Winged Guardian, since it was floating around in my head for a day.

The only other thing that was taking a step towards my dreams was that I have decided to research acting classes. I started today looking today. I have found improv classes (which won’t work, since I am already in an improv group) and a workshop (which won’t work because I want to do it to grow a muscle. I know how to use the acting muscle… my muscle is just weak and unused.) I may wind up simply doing more acting videos. We shall see what happens.

 

Have a good week and I shall write again… at some point

.success

Black Winged Guardian

I drove home really late last night by myself. While driving I came up with this poem. Let me know what you think.

Black Winged Guardian

Black winged guardian

hiding in the night sky;

watching over your charge

In invisible armor

to match your unseen ways.

Mysterious and strong

staying in the shadows

exactly where danger lurks.

Black winged guardian,

inconspicuous hero,

hiding out of sight

so villains always feel fright

and victims stay alright.

Black winged guardian,

only feeling love unknown

staying in the shadows

staying where you were meant to be.

Powerful and brave,

Mysterious and strong,

Yet unknown and unseen.

DreamWard Bound (4/12-4/20/14)

All weekend I have been thinking about this blog. What would I write? What should I write? What did I do this week to take steps towards my dreams? Did I actually do anything that made me dreamward bound? I did not have an answer to these questions, until today.

I realized that I did not do anything to move me towards my dreams, instead I enjoyed my time. I worked hard, hung out with friends, went to my improv group, was able to take two friends out to dinner one night, and went out with my “Friend-Family” another night. I was able to celebrate birthdays with two close friends and had fun. Instead of focusing on what my life could be, I simply enjoyed my life as it is.

Now that being said I did have free time today and did want to do something artistic. I decided to paint for a little bit. I also really enjoyed how the first recording of my painting went, so I recorded the painting I did today. The only issue I had was that my camera died within 10 minutes of painting. Thankfully, I had my phone with me and was able to record it on that.  I have posted it on youtube, and placed it right below for your viewing pleasure. I hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you think. (The song that is playing in the background is MercyMe’s “Move.” which is off their Generous Mr. Lovewell. You can find more information on them at MercyMe.org

4/6/14-4/13/14 (DreamWard Bound)


I started my new job this week. I went in bright and early on Monday and then even earlier every other day. I did my training and went through Human Resources things. By the end of the week I was actually working on a few real sites. You see my not lame day job, that I mentioned in last week’s DreamWard Bound post, is that I’m an ethical hacker. I will be working on client’s sites to find their weaknesses, so that the bad guys can’t. It is technically called web security, but ethical hacker sounds much cooler.

Since most of my time, energy, and brain power went to just surviving the first week of waking up early, and working 8 hrs a day, I do not have an art updates. This post is the closest thing to writing I have done all week, which actually brings me to my first realization. I need to do something art based every week. I was so wiped by the time the week ended and it took me until today, Sunday, to realize how drained I was. You see, art is how I charge my brain’s battery. I turn off reality while I create. I turn off what is going on in my life. I turn off myself. I step outside of who I am to create and in creating I learn either more about God or more about myself, some how. This may not make sense, but art doesn’t always make sense. Just know that art is a release and I now know that I 100% need that release in my daily life, or at least in my weekly schedule.

Another thing I learned, well kind of learned or rather something I want to make sure you know. The web security industry is awesome. What I have seem of it, is super cool. Most of my co-workers are nice people who want to help. Some have felt the sting of being on the outside of society (ie they’re nerds). Others are what society would call normal, or at least can fake normalcy for the most part. What it comes down to is that I know work with nerds, geeks, and just smart guys, who are real. The entire company seems to be made up of normal people working comfortably. Even the upper managers are just normal people, working in a company that promotes openness and a relaxed yet productive culture. In other words I work at an awesome tech company, that is like the tech companies you may hear about.

Now, I may be working a day job to support my passions, but my friend/ roommate will not be. I am sure I mentioned Kateland before. I may have only mentioned her blog. Any ways I am super excited for her, because we are both focused on our dreams right now and she is taking a giant step towards her dreams. She will be working with a musician for the next month or so. She is going to travel with him and sell his merchandise, which will help her experience tour life, network with people, and be around the music she loves. She has a passion for music and this job will surround her in music. I am very excited for her and happy that she will be able to have a taste of her dreams. I have been telling everyone I can, because this will affect my life, also. I will be watching and learning from her experience.

I believe that is all that went on this week. I hope to post more about my art in the coming week, but for now it’s all about my not lame day job.

success

 

Painting Islands

Yesterday I spent the afternoon painting and decided to paint a full piece. I painted it from beginning to end all in one sitting, which took about an hour. I also decided to record this process and see what it looks like to paint. I sped it up, put a good song in the background and posted it on youtube.


The song that is playing is Regnia Spektor’s Hotel Song and can be found on her album Begin to Hope, which was released in 2006. For more on Regnia Specktor her website.

 

 

Here is the finished product

painting 012

 

Poetic reading (Sunshine and Rain

The other day I recorded my poetry reading for the first time. I am hoping to record more and become more creative with the video, but this is a start. Today’s video is Sunshine and Rain, which I posted on here earlier in the year. I have edited, recorded and posted it for your enjoyment… I hope you enjoy it.  Below you will find the full edited poem. Please let me know what you think.

Sunshine And Rain

I woke to a new day,
woke with a thought,
woke with a hope
of you close by.
Yes, I woke with you were near.
but as my eyes opened
the dream faded
and I was alone.

This made me wonder
made me think,
do you believe in me?
Do you look at the grey, cold sky
and see the sunshine?
Do you stand in the rain
and feel sun beams?
In your night can you feel my day?

You may be far far away
as far as the moon is from the sun
but there is still a moon
and I still see the sun.
In the storm and the rain,
I will see sunshine.
I will stay awake at night,
so that I can feel your day.
And until the sun and moon meet
I will believe in you

3/28 to 4/4 (DreamWard Bound)

It amazes me at all that is happening in my life right now. It may seem small to an outsider, but it is changing me. I am feeling more confident with the direction of my life.

One of the small things was that I saw a friend’s premier film (Redux). You see this film is his first major film and I was blown away with it. If last week’s mishaps taught me to guard myself and that untalented script writers are out there, this week taught me that there is talent and trustworthy people filming movies. I already knew that my friend was good at filming and that he was a good person. Seeing his movie taught me that talent, skill and being a trustworthy person does not come with age, but hard work and a mind that wants to learn.

Another thing that happened this week was that I declined a day job, because I was offered a better one.  After three months of not working and trying to figure out life this was a major relief.  Being able to pick between two jobs is new to me, but it was an easy choice. I chose the one where I will be able to fund my art, work with friends, and have a cool job.  The other awesome thing with this is that I will be starting Monday.

I am doing this recap of my week in chronological order, so this is not bigger than my job. It just happened later in the week. I went to two music shows this week. I saw Beats Antique and Emancipator.  They both were awesome shows and I found a new band to follow (Slow Magic). Beats Antique was my favorite out of the two. I enjoyed Emancipator’s show it was simply Beats Antique was theatrical, amazing and awesome.  It was a stunning show that I was not expecting.

I also started to record readings of my poems. I hope to have all my poems recorded in the future.

This post may not seem focused towards living my dream or trying to but trust me it is to me.  You see watching Redux showed me I can be who I am in the film industry and have my films mean something. Getting a job will be a step to funding the films I want to make. Going to a show inspired me to be my type of artist and allowed me to release emotions in a different way. Also, going with my friend, Kateland, taught me a little more about being friendly and at least trying to be extroverted at times, which is needed in networking. And recording my poems, well that’s just another way to get my name out there.

Now, things I learned this week is:

  1. There is good film makers around
  2. I may have to have a non-art job, but that does not mean it has to be a lame non-art job.
  3. People like nice people and I can show them I am a nice person… I can actually talk to strangers, even though I may not like to.

success

Poetic reading (No Mold)

I have decided to record poem readings. My first one recorded is the last poem I wrote (No Mold). I have posted the first draft of the poem on this blog but have edited it since. Here is the version I used for this video.

No Mold

Oh sad and crumpling world

where the non-judgmental judge,

where those who fight for the future

live in the past,

and where beauty is

as fragile as a single word.

What a poor world

where beauty and art

can only be seen striped of dignity,

where nonconformist conforms,

and integrity is torn from morals.

What a sad, sad world

where one shouts, “Be who you are,”

as they push you into a mold.

Can you not see my beauty?

do you not understand my soul?

I am not simply a body.

I do not need your mold.

Yes, what a sad, crumpling world.

It breaks my very being,

so I will walk away.

And stand where others will fall.

see the beauty in dignity,

art in the unmodified.

For I do not judge those who judge

do not condemn those who condemn

and I love all.