Tiff’s Tips: Have Creative Friends

Have Creative Friends Tiff's Tips image

The creative life can be hard and lonely. You will get stuck on ideas and take criticism for your work. This life will be hard, which is why having friends that are creative and a creative community is so important. They’ll be able to lift you up or get you unstuck. They’ll show you you’re not in it alone. There are other artists and creatives in the world going through similar stuff in their lives.

Yes, you will work alone if you are a painter, writer, or sculptor. You must practice alone if you are a musician or actor. There will be alone time while you create. Your creative friends will show you that others are doing the same thing. Everyone will get stuck or come up against an unfamiliar obstacle. That is part of growing and improving. All artists and creatives will have to deal with criticism for their work. Also, every creative person can improve with the help of others.

It may take time to cultivate a friendship that focuses on mutual creative trust and a feedback cycle. It is worth the work. You can find these opportunities in already established groups or events. There may take time and work to find the right fit, but you’ll be able to grow in your creativity when you do.

You will learn a lot from others and they will learn from you. You will improve your art with their help and they’ll improve with your help. These types of relationships should be beneficial to all parties.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

Sub-letter #30 To love excerpt

Sub-Letter #30 (To Love Excerpt)

Sub-Letter #30 is the last excerpt from To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

Please know that the headers are placed for blog readability and highlighting certain parts. They do not appear in the book.

Sub-Letter #30

Dear Dearie,

It has been about 2 weeks since I wrote about online dating. It feels like it was longer. Perhaps it was longer. I didn’t mark down the exact date that I signed up. It doesn’t matter, because I stopped.

Online dating felt like work and more than I wanted to do. My brain related it to searching for a job or a house. It differed from a job or house search tough. Instead of sending a couple emails, then going to an interview that is scheduled days in advance, I found that there should be at least one message a day. Sometimes the guy attempted to schedule them on the same day. That method brought out anxiety and fear for me.

I need to prepare and free up time. I can’t change my plans easily in my mind, so can’t drop everything to meet a stranger at a coffeehouse on the same day of being asked.

Still, although I did not like online dating, I learned from it.

The first thing I learned is obvious. Online dating is not like You Got Mail. It is not romantic or fun for me.

I am sure it is great for others. There are success stories. It is just not for me, at least not for me right now.

Also, I learned that even though I want to find you and start that part of my life, I can wait. I would rather wait with high standards than lower or change them and marry someone now.

What I need

There is no rush, I do not need you right now. What I need is the right you. I am okay with being single. This chick is awesome and a hoot to be around. I can entertain myself and make decisions on my own. Plus, my friends can give me advice and support. My point in saying all of this is that I appreciate that I am loved and I love myself. One day, you will love me and love you. I can have patience and wait for that day.

After I stopped looking for you on the dating app, I thought about how I want to describe you when I am certain you are you. How I would know you are you? In my mind, I was being interviewed. I made it into a daydream that took place after we met and everyone was aware we were in love.

In this daydream, you are the interviewer.

I guess you don’t really need to be an interviewer in this daydream, but that is how this daydream goes. We are both successes and we are doing an interview together, where you are interviewing me. You ask how I knew you were the one for me.

I answer with, “You are the only one for me because you are not perfect, but you are perfect for me. Just like every other human, you are broken and flawed. Your broken pieces do not match mine, just like your flaws are not mine. Instead, your flaws and brokenness complement mine and my flaws and brokenness complement yours. It is like a complicated puzzle. Your flaws either challenge me or are like a puzzle piece that my flaws interlock with and strengthen us together.”

Our life together will not be a “happily ever after” type of life. Yet, we will support each other, push each other, learn from and with each other. Most important, we will journey down the path of life together. We will go through hard times on that journey, but we will also enjoy great times.

The start of our journey together excites me. I look forward to working on our wedding vows and vowing them in front of family and friends when they are done. I can’t wait to find out how your flaws interlock with mine and learn how you will help me grow.

As I write this sub-letter, you are 100% percent real to me. There is no doubt and no fear in my mind. I am enthralled because I get to meet you and love you one day. Finding out who you are overwhelms me with excitement.

Okay, enough about that for now. I don’t want to fly away, and I may with all these happy thoughts. I have another poem to share.

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. Also, I created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

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Tiff’s Tips: Regularly Reflect On Your Journey

Regularly reflect on your journey Tiff's tips series

As you take risks, embrace change, and achieve your goals, reflect regularly on your journey.

Some times it’s hard to be aware of your progress and track valuable milestones. Creating goals often and assessing the goals may not be enough. It is easy to lose track of your overall progress and forget how far you’ve come in your art journey.

We all start somewhere with our creative life and we can get caught up in creating that we forget that we’re making progress. I started with art and writing as a passionate hobby. It would rub me the wrong way when someone called it a hobby, but that is what it was. My desire was for my creativity to be more. However, at the start of my journey it was only something I did in my free time.

My Journey

I then took actions and plan more time around my writing and painting. The act of planning my time around my creative was the first actual step in my artistic career. It was not my last step, though. I shifted my life more and more so I could make it a business and my career. I’m still working on making it a successful business, but I have been meeting wonderful milestones.

One way I track my milestones is to write achievements in a notebook. This way when I’m unaware of my progress, I can look back at all the wonderful stuff I’ve done. Some milestones are things I can control, like publishing “To Love.” Other milestones are outside my control, like making $100 from “To Love”. It is a wonderful practice to track both what your actions and the actions of your audience.

In the recent past, I’ve also used time tracking apps to see how I’ve increased in my time spent on different projects and on my art business.

My personal journal also has notes on my artist journey. When I journal, I do reflect on how my art has changed and looking at how I feel my goals and dreams are going.

I do also have an art business notebook where I take notes on ideas, research, and plan out my business and career. I can go back and examine how my business has morphed and changed over time, which is helpful in keeping me moving forward.

All this regular reflection has kept me motivated and recharges my inspiration. I have evidence written down that I’m already making progress, so I want to keep going.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

God Shows Up blog series

God Shows Up At Elevation

I currently work for a church in the Santa Cruz Mountains called Elevation. Elevation has been around since early 2009, and I joined the church family in late 2009. Throughout the years I have seen how God shows up at Elevation. This will be more of a background to what Elevation is rather than specific stories of God showing up.

It was the second church I went to as an adult with my friends, and we quickly became a part of this wonderful church. After a few major life changes with me, I became the admin for Elevation in 2018. That is not where the story of Elevation starts, though.

The story of Elevation has to start with the pastor, Chuckk (yes, spell check it has 2 k’s). His openness to share his past, personality, and love is one reason everyone involved with the church feels safe to be themselves.

It is a beautiful thing when a group of people can be authentically themselves as they journey towards a personal relationship with God the creator. When there are no walls or barriers to break through, you can then learn and grow with people on the same journey as you.

What makes Elevation, Elevation?

The quick answer are the people. Like every church, those involved and belong to that church makes the church what it is. Church is not about the building or even the weekly service. The church is the people who make up the community of believers we hang out with.

The skill of musical people and other creative people are part of the culture of Elevation. This is also one reason I fit into this church. We are weird creative people who love God.

We must be cool because we meet at a nightclub. The actual location of the building doesn’t matter. We just need a space to meet. Plus, more people may be all right going to a nightclub and not a cathedral or other church building.

I’ve learned a lot from being part of Elevation and see God show up a lot throughout the years of being part of Elevation. It is such a beautiful group of God-loving people.

God Shows Up At Elevation
Want More?

For more information about my amazing Church, you can go to Elevation’s website.

For more blog posts in this series, you can visit my God Shows Up page. I also have a YouTube series that goes hand in hand with this written series.

Tiff’s Tips: Try Different Things

Try Different Things image

It is important in your creative life to try different things. You should experiment with different mediums, styles, and subjects. As you explore unique aspects of art or creating, you’ll find what you enjoy and also your own style. You will learn what does and doesn’t work for you. As you try unfamiliar things, you’ll also grow in your understanding of art and as an artist.

Trying new things is also good in life. With each unknown experience, you can learn more about who you are and life. Do not shy away from what is new or foreign to you. It’ll grow you as a person and artist if you let it.

I have many experiences where I tried unfamiliar things. A lot of them had to do with jobs I had. I tried out 9-12 jobs that could become a career. Funny enough, besides the ones I have now, I would only go back to cleaning dog kennels or theater carpentry. I just didn’t fit well with the others. Trying the different jobs I realized being creative was an important aspect in my career path.

I also experimented in my writing as you can tell if you look at my older writings. I’ve done short stories, poetry, articles, and even my memoir called To Love. In doing all this exploration I learned I am a fiction writer, poet, and love sharing what I’ve learned throughout my life.

In my visual art life I have drawn, sculpted, painted, and do digital art. I have done more than just those few things, but that has been my main focuses. In doing all that I learned that it is easiest and highly fulfilling for me to do digital art, but I also love painting. There is almost a need for me to paint. That is why I sculpt and draw less. My focus is on painting and digital art.

I have noticed recently that as you experiment and try new things, certain elements will remain. I will always be me, and my art will always reflect who I am. An example is that long before I focused on hearts as a series I have put or painted hearts in most of my visual art pieces. This is most likely because I focus my art and core on spreading love, happiness, and sharing my heart. I shared this focus of my life before I even realized it or spoke it.

Learning about your core and more about yourself are the 2 primary values of trying new things.

Want More?

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.

A Romantic Monologue To Love Excerpt

A Romantic Monologue ( To Love Excerpt)

A Romantic Monologue is the next excerpt from my new book To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

A Romantic Monologue

[A lone female in a flowing floor-length dress with a dark pattern, stands center stage on an empty black stage with a solo pale amber spot light. She starts with her eyes closed.]


Female
Let my mind be clear of thoughts of you. Quiet my heart from the daydreams your appearance creates.

[Her eyes open. She looks into the audience.]

How do I make reality out of these girlish fantasies? You are further than a world away; living among the nobility of this age, while I toil with only my dreams as an escape.

Truly the dreams are but mere lies, that my heart tells my mind. Perfection such as yours cannot honestly exist. You must wear a gentleman’s mask as a ploy for the ladies of your kingdom. Yes, the bright, warm person on display must hide a rotted center. I am sure that the loving smile and open heart is an act to create loyal subjects.

How would a charming prince, such as the one portrayed, survive in this cold hard land? The noble are as wicked as the corrupt rulers, that allow the wealthy to step on the poor? Understanding how a heart can stay intact and open, while among the pressures of aristocracy is beyond my mind.

Perhaps a day will come when fate will bid us a meeting, then my aloof admiration will yield to knowledge of your inner workings and reveal a beautiful mind. If fate is so kind, then my girlish fantasies will release into reality. Until that day comes, I will assure myself that you have perfected your art and the public is seeing a seduction act.

[FADE TO BLACK]

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. I also created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

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Love Nerd: Lessons From A Single’s Life

You can learn a lot from every chapter of life if you keep an open mind and look for learning opportunities. There are lessons you can learn from a single’s life. There are always lessons. Once you’re comfortable being single, you’ll be able to learn a lot. Among the things I’ve learned while being single, there are two important lessons that stick out in my mind.

Lesson 1

The first lesson is that doing things alone is okay. You won’t spontaneously combust if you go to a restaurant alone. The sky won’t fall if you go to the movies alone. It is a valid choice to be out in public doing things you want to do with no one else. You can go to the beach without other people or go on hikes with just yourself. The more you are alone, the more you’ll realize how nice it is.

Lesson 2

The second lesson is that it is important to take care of yourself. When you are single, you don’t have another person to go on dates with or to pamper you. There isn’t someone making you feel special or talking to you about your issues. The wonderful news is that you can and should do that all by yourself. You can pamper yourself and do most normal date night ideas alone. Self care is important in any chapter of your life. When you are single, it is easier to find time to make self care a part of your life and routine. You can build habits of self care and see that you can do nice things for yourself.

It is liberating to become self-sufficient. It frees you from a lot of things you may assume you need to do or think you can’t do, because you are single. There are no rules against going out by yourself or taking care of yourself how you see fit. If you do, you may even find you are marvelous company.

Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Sub-letter #11 to love excerpt

Sub-Letter #11 (To Love Excerpt)

Sub-letter # 11 is another excerpt from my book To Love. All the excerpts of To Love can be found on the To Love section of my site. You can purchase the book on Amazon.

Please know I have added headers to this post that are in the book. It is simply for the blog formatting.

Sub-Letter #11

To my impending pookie,


I’m not writing in the coffee shop today. I am writing in my little studio apartment that overlooks a valley. Well, it would overlook a valley if trees were not in the way. It is still an amazing view.

It is nice writing here. I don’t have people walking by or people talking to distract me from my work. I am doing the distracting all by myself.


A squirrel will run up a tree near my window and I will then stare at the rough muted brown bark of the tree. When the wind rustles a small sapling that lives on the hillside, I will get lost in how the light and shadows make different shades of green. Sunbeams that hit the leaves make a light, happy green that I’m almost positive they bottled to create one of my bottles of paint. The shadows cool the green and adds touches of dark blue into the hue.

Middle School Romance

I will fight the distraction by telling you a story from my childhood.
When I was in middle school, I had a crush on a cute boy who was shorter than me. That made no difference to me. He was popular and was a cool kid. My little tween heart thought he was great.

One morning before class started, he walked up to me near our lockers. He had a question for me. This meant he noticed me, and my answer was at least interesting to him. I was excited to give him whatever answer he needed.
He asked me if I would be his best friend’s girlfriend. That wasn’t the question I wanted him to ask. I still said yes.

By lunch it seemed like everyone knew. I sat with my friends at our normal lunch table. One friend asked me if I was planning on sitting with my boyfriend. My answer to them was no and explained that he could come to me. I didn’t care enough to go to his table and felt as though if he wanted to be my boyfriend, he could put forth the effort.

In my mind there is a question if I ever talked to him again; I don’t remember talking to him. In all honesty, I can’t even remember his name. Maybe it was Pete, perhaps Paul, or it could have been Dave. Paul sounds almost correct, but I don’t think it was that. I even tried asking Ms. Music who was my friend and should have known his name. She came up blank though.

Present day distraction

In the present time there is a fly on the window sill that my desk faces. The little black fly is right in front of my desk. He seems to want to talk or he can’t find the opening of my crank window. Mr. Fly has a good size escape route, but can’t seem to figure the right route.

He found the opening. He just escaped the prison of the window sill. Perhaps he just needed a break from flying and was not stuck. I would like to think he is now off on a journey. No! A hero’s quest; in order for him to fulfill his life’s mission. He must now find the stinkiest pile of fly food and share it with his one true love. I am assuming in this random train of thought flies do have love. I know this may be significantly flawed, but whatever. It is how my mind is distracting me.

I will fight the distractions again with another story from my childhood.
This story is even older than my first boyfriend story. Truth be told, it’s more of my memèrè’s story. I only know it, because she’s told me it multiple times as if I remember.

The Neighbor Boy

I must have been around five. You should know I was never a girly girl and hardly ever wore skirts on my own accord. These facts are relevant to the story.
When I was young, I lived across the street from my grandmother, who I call memèrè, and the family pig farm. My memèrè was watching me, but I ran across the street to my home. I put on a nice, pretty skirt. It was white with little pink flowers and made of tough material, like denim. They may have been cherry blossoms, but they were on a vine. It is the one skirt I remember owning when I was a kid.

When I came back to my memèrè’s, I was in the skirt. She asked me why I changed. My answer was that I wanted to go play with the neighbor boy, and I wanted to make sure he noticed me. I guess I had a little crush on him.

If you get to meet my memèrè, it won’t surprise me if she tells you this story. She’ll also point out I still had shorts on underneath the skirt.

The only time I remember wearing a skirt when I was a kid is when I wore one while playing kickball. I slid into home plate and skinned my knees. I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to slide into any plate in kickball, but I did. My memory has me wearing the same white skirt with pink flowers.

It may have been my favorite skirt as a kid. More likely the details of the skirt were not important enough to save correctly, and my memory is adding a likely detail.

More Distractions

Okay, I just got distracted because I looked at my television. The different shows I could record popped into my mind. I also have shows recorded and others I could stream. Maybe I should restart the show about a mad man in a box or the show about two brothers and an angel.

Even the way I stacked the two used tea bags from my earlier drinks is making my mind wander. I wonder if they will fall or if I could use them for some weird art project. Perhaps I can just use them to stain a canvas as a base color. I’ve only used tea to stain paper to make the paper look old and distressed. Using tea bags to stain or paint a canvas is something I’ve never tried.

I think I need to share my writing with you and go do something else for a little while.

Want More?

To Love is sold on Amazon and if you would like to read more excerpts you can go the To Love Updates section of this site. I also created some fun promotional videos on Youtube.

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Love Nerd: Neck Fat

Story Time

If you read my book To Love, you know I’ve tried online dating. I tried 3 times and technically I am still on a site. I have had little luck with online dating, but I have gotten a couple stories from it.

My favorite story is one that took place during my second round of online dating. I started talking with a guy that lived on the other side of the country. It would be a long-distance relationship, but I didn’t want that to stop me. We both figured we should try to see if a long-distance thing would work.

We talked via texts for about a week, then had a video date. Because of work issues, the video date almost didn’t happen. When the date happened, I already had my pajamas on with messy hair. He was already relaxing in his bed in his pajamas, which did not include a shirt.

We chatted for a little, but he had to get off to help a friend who was texting him. After the call, I texted him to tell him I was getting ready for bed and I would talk to him the next day. He responded with saying he didn’t think we should continue the long-distance thing. 

I asked “why.” He acted like it would offend me. My goal was to learn if it was something I should change. I wanted any feedback I could get too, since I don’t date too much. After a bit of prying, he told me his shallow reason.

His reason to stop talking, “neck fat.”

I immediately realized that was all on him. It didn’t offend me and I almost found his reason funny. He acted like he could break my heart. He told me he was aware of his shallowness and that he tried to get over his issues. It seemed like an actual struggle for him.

I suggested working through this struggle with God in prayer and meditation to which he responded with he had, but it’s just how God made him.

I stopped the conversation after that. If you act like something is an issue and want to change it, you can’t also say it’s just who you are. If you don’t like what you see in yourself or who you are, you do possess the power to change.

I love telling the story. I find the specificness with his shallowness funny. He did not care that I was not a twig or that I have a rounder body than he would prefer. It was specifically my neck fat.

I guess I shouldn’t have the phone like this.

Love Nerd: Neck Fat
Want More?

This blog series stems from my book “To Love,” which has a whole YouTube Playlist devoted to it. I will also be posting more in this series on the Love Nerd page of this site.

Tiff’s Tips: Assess and Have Goals

Assess and Have Goals

It is important to set goals for yourself and your creative life. I find the more often I write my goals down, the more focused I become in achieving them. Once you have your goals set, you must also assess your progress.

It will not be very helpful to you if you only write the same goals repeatedly and not assess your progress. Perhaps you’re setting goals that you’re not achieving. If you do that, it will add undue stress and pressure on you. Maybe it’s too easy for you to meet your goals. If your goals are too easy than your not challenging your self or improving. If you don’t assess them, you may not progress at the correct speed for you.

Goal setting is a balance and a dance. Some weeks or months you may achieve more than you thought, while other months you may not achieve that much. This is just the way of life. You shouldn’t expect success to be a straight line or even expect you will meet all your goals on the first try. The key is to not beat yourself up on the slow goal for months and accept that you can learn from failures too. This is a lesson I remind myself of often.

The best way I’ve found to use goals is as a marker on your journey. This is easier said than done, at least for me. When I set goals, I want to achieve them with flying marks, but sometimes life gets in the way. Other times I set my goals too high. There are times I meet my goals or surpass them, but often those times are few and far apart. The goal with goals is to see the progress over time and to keep you focus on the main path you’re on. You may have to adjust your goals while you are assessing your progress. If you do it for a long enough amount of time, you’ll see that your progress can motivate you further down your path. I know it has pushed me along my path.

This is part of Tiff’s Tips a blog series. I have also done a goal setting video series on YouTube.