Puppet

mini1 mini2 mini3 mini4

I was looking through old posts and realized that I had not share with you my puppet. This is my second completed puppet and first mini-puppet.

Her name is Mini (I know so creative). She is supposed to be a miniature puppet of myself.

I’m sure one day I will edit this post to make it more interesting or perhaps Mini will get another new post all together, but for right now here she is. Well, here are pictures of her and my sculpting skills (or lack of them).

In the End

In the End

In the end

I may feel silly,

everything may be lost,

my heart may break.

In the end

it may not be worth it,

I may have to be a terrible cost,

my soul may bend.

In the end

I may wish

I never had this dream in mind.

I may want someone else to be mine.

In the end

this dream may die,

my world may change,

my heart may run away.

But in the end

my soul will not break,

my heart will mend,

and life will go on,

so I will try,

and I will struggle.

I will fight for this dream.

whether I win or lose

I will try so that

in the end

I can say

this was the best way,

this was my way,

my dream to live my life,

my life to work for my dreams.

In the end

my soul will not break,

my heart will mend,

and life will go on.

(Just a fast poem in the morning. Please let me know what you think)

the last forty days

41 days ago I was feeling pulled in all directions. I did not know what I was doing wrong, but could not make time for all the projects I wanted to do. I had no time to follow my dreams. It was draining just to live life because I never really recharged. Life just was not going my way it seemed.

That was when I decided to change something. I did not know how or what exactly needed to change, but I went on a fast from television. I figured I would pray and ask God for help instead of watching shows or movies. I started this no television thing forty days ago and told myself and God that it would be for forty days. I felt like what I learned may help people, but mostly want to share what happened to me.

I want to make sure that I am clear in my reasons for writing this blog. I am not writing it as a, ‘look at me,’ type of thing. I am sharing with you part of what did happen and not saying either way whether you should try this fast or not. This was helped me at this point in time and I have learned things from it. I am hoping to simply share what I have learned and not what I have done.

Now, what I learned first was within the first week. I realized just how much t.v. I was watching. I would get home from work and plop myself in front of a television or my computer. I would zone out, never really mentally resting but not active either. Television was not refreshing my mind or soul, but I was still watching hours of it. I would stay up late just to watch another episode or because the one I told myself was my last, was not a good one to leave off on.

You may watch a lot of television or a lot of movies over the course of the week. Or perhaps you have another hobby that takes up most of your time. What I learned from realizing how much television I was actually watching was that I had elevated entertainment to a level higher than most things in my life. I had always been a dreamer and a planner, but none of my plans or dreams were coming true. I was stuck, because I was actually saying, with my time, that television was more important than my dreams. Watching that much television told me that I either did not actually believe I could achieve my dreams.

Well, I really do believe that I can achieve my dreams and now I know it. I had a lot of time on my hands, after cutting television out. I have made three necklaces, most of a puppet (I just need two little things to complete her), have written multiple poems (some of which are up on this blog), have done a mini Bible study on proverbs 31 (again on this blog), and have written 37,147 words of a novel I had been putting off. All of this was within the last forty days.

Each of these projects taught me something different. First the Proverbs 31 one taught me that I must work hard and be strong in order to be a godly woman. This does not mean I do not enjoy my life. The work I work hard and long on is my writing, which I love to do. This piece of scripture is giving me strength and determination to follow my dreams full heartily.

The next project, the puppet, made me realize how much talent God has. He shapes us all and is focused on each detail. I hardly could get the face done and almost gave up multiple times, because the detail work was so hard. She is a tiny puppet and I just did not have the skill to finish her… Or so I thought. After putting her down and picking her up many times, I finally felt her face was finished. I then worked on her hands which again I almost gave up on. I could not figure out her tiny fingers. Again after picking them up and putting them down I figured out how to do the fingers. I realized after she was baked and ready to assemble that some connecting loops were closed. I had moved the clay too far down the wire that I was working on. I almost thought I would have to make a few parts over again, but found a way to save them. Finally yesterday I basically completed her. She is now wearing a black dress. I only need to attach her head, but need to buy something for that. So, now that she is done, I look at her and she looks like a real mini puppet. It took a lot for me not to give up on all the detail and during the process I kept telling myself that I would never do another puppet this small. Looking at her I bet I will do another one this small again, maybe soon.

I bet God looks at us the same way. People are more complex and hard to figure out than puppets, yet he has made billions and will make billions more. He does not give up on any of us, even when we do not believe he is real. He loves us no matter what.

The other project that taught me something was my writing. This includes my poems and my novel. I realized during the writing many things. One, God is with me while I write, so I should let him shine through. Also writing and becoming a full time author is my dream. At least the main dream I want to pursue at this time. Once I can survive as an author, which I know may be never, I may pursue my other dream as an actor. Right now I am only a write though. Right now writing is my main dream. This will be my focus. Yes I still love acting, theater, and movies, but what really is important to me is God, my family, friends, and writing. I need to focus on what is important. I stretched myself thin only thinking of the many different areas I want to make a career in. Truth be told I wanted seven careers at one point and I wanted to pursue them all at the same time. What has stuck over time, what I always did even before I realized it could be a career, was writing. I started writing when I was ten and never really stopped. I wrote stories, poems, novels (with no endings), journals, plays, and songs.

I love to write and love is its own reward. I do not need anything in return. I spent years without some one reading anything I wrote and it did not matter. I still wrote. I hope people will read my things now, but approval for this art form is not required.

As for the jewelry I made. That is a hobby, that I hopefully will make a few extra bucks at. I will be selling some pieces soon on Etsy (www.etsy.com/shop/tiffyjoy). This will not be my main career though. I enjoy it and if I sell enough I may think of making it a full time thing, but I will always be a writer at heart. If I can make a living as a jewelry maker and a writer I will be happier than I can imagine. It would mean I could just have fun for most of the day and make my own schedule. We will see though. I will not get ahead of myself, which I have a tendency to do.

All of these things happened during my forty days of no television. I realized and learned everything within those days, because I was opened to learning and could focus on what was really important. My simple advice for you, my reader, is if you feel stressed or stretched thin, if your dreams are not coming true and you do not see anything happening with them, ask yourself is there something I could give up or change. Is there something in your life that is taking up your time or not revitalizing you? Prioritize your time, work for your dreams, and know you can do it.

You (unedited)

Calm my mind,

like a gentle breeze.

Please, wash away my insecurities

in a loving river.

Teach my how to sing the songs

that the care free birds sing.

Do not want to worry about tomorrow?

 I will try to let tomorrow worry about itself.

Breathe your calming spirit in

and I will breathe my anxiety out.

Today I will remember your gentle breeze,

your loving river,

and live.

Please, feel free to give feedback or comments below.

marching

(please note that this is a quick, not edited poem)

March, March

Marching to the beat of life

Droning on and on

Work, work and work

to keep your head a float.

When all of a sudden you realize

there was a misstep;

a stumble somewhere down the road

that sent a ripple

to your very soul.

Breath in the ripple,

the change in pace.

Relax into the realization,

your life is about to change.

Now march again to a different pace.

March now to the song in your own head.

And watch as the days do not drone on.

Listen to work being done as you continue to hum.

This life is yours to live so live.

Dreamer of plans.

Dreamer of plans.

I wish to be like a fish swimming in the sea.

I wish to be a caged bird set free.

I wish and I wish,

while I dream and think.

I want to be in a different life.

I want to be some one’s wife.

I want and want

while I dream and think.
I need to know what I am doing,

where my life is going.

I need to be on one path,

and figure out the direction I’m walking.

I need and need

while I dream and think.

Oh, so many thoughts and dreams

cascades down my mind.

Filling my brain with impossible plans.

Fearless, strong, and wonderful plans.

Plans that when started fall short

as the other plans start to be thought.

Plans where success and happiness

wrap around me like warm hugs;

plans seem possible,

until other thoughts take their place.

This is why I wish and want

and think I need,

while I dream and think.

This is why I dream and think.

Update on projects

After two weeks of trying to do work on a different project each day I realized two things. One, is that I stress my self out easily. Two, with a full-time job I can not add so many projects. That being said I also decided to keep  those who care informed.

I was thinking I would cut out all my projects and start from scratch. I wanted to just focus on my jewellery. I have been working on my acorn necklaces and am going to start to make polymer clay jewellery. After a few thoughts and realizing that if I cut down to just jewellery I would not work on my book, movie reviews or Pink Sunshine story. Since I started to work on these projects before I started the schedule I will continue them.

That being said, Sundays I will still work on my book, As You Are. Friday nights  will still be dedicated to my friends in Story Time with Pink Sunshine. Saturdays also will still be focused on movie reviews. My week, however, will only be filled with  only jewellery making.

Now stay tune for pictures.

Episode 1 The Road Trip

The plan for the Road Trip, that would change the Gang of Color’s lives, was for Brain, Doom, and Lady to leave Brain’s parents’ house at eight o’clock and pick Sunshine up at ten o’clock in the morning. That was before Blue Bull called Brain to tell him, he was joining the group. This was news to Sunshine when she called Brain at 10:30 wondering where the gang was. She had already said goodbye to her family and was anxiously waiting to start her trip.

Brain informed Sunshine that they had not left but was leaving soon. He also told her that they were going to go soon so they four of them would be at Sunshine’s home in two hours. After two hours past Sunshine called Brain again. It would be two more hours.  She also called at four o’clock.  Sunshine’s family started to come home from work and school, her young nephew included.

Six o’clock rolled around and the group finally rolled into Sunshine’s driveway. After they all had dinner that Sunshine’s mom made they were off. It was almost eight at night and they finally started on their road trip in two packed cars.

They drove from Massachusetts to Rhode Island and stopped to take in the fact that they were on a life changing adventure and partake in their common interest. They were then off only stopping briefly in Connecticut for a bathroom break. The next stop was in Pennsylvanian to fill up on gas. It was about four in the morning when they pulled into the huge gas station and found an arcade inside. The group of gamers played in the few games that the arcade had and half an hour later they were off again.

While Brain and Bull drove their cars Lady and Doom played co-pilots leaving Sunshine to enjoy the car ride and fall asleep. Since she was the first to sleep she woke up first. They all were still in their cars but the cars were parked. Sunshine looked around as she was waking up and noticed that they were in a Walmart. Apparently they stopped to pick up better walkie-talkies but the ones they found did not work between cars.

Once they were all awake they went across the parking lot to the McDonalds where, as they had breakfast, they took group pictures and joked with each other.

After everyone ate they were back on the road again.

All My Projects

The more I create, the more I want to create even more.  I want to take on the world of art, mastering every form of art, and finishing every project that pops into my head, but I’m realizing that would be utter madness. However, I do embrace a bit of craziness, so I will try to take on multiple projects in different art forms. I am limiting myself though. I will only allow myself seven projects at a time, one for every day of the week.

The first project you should already know about. It is the one I started this  blog for. It is my START WITH THE BEST movie review project. If you need more information about it there is a whole blog about it so that’s all I’ll say about my Saturday project.

Sundays will be filled with book writing. Now this is my longest project so far, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have the first draft done and am working on the second draft. It is a romantic comedy about two artists in the film industry. It is called AS YOU ARE. I plan to have it published using a publishing website in June 2013. Since I have been working on it for years now it is not an add-on to my project/ goal list, but still it is a goal and big project.

Mondays will be jewellery. I have designs in my mind for a line of jewellery made out of acorns.  They will be different faces, almost like tiny masks but each necklace will be a different emotion. There are eight designed so far. I will be making and selling them. This project may go on for as long as I work or may not go anywhere. My goal for this project is to sell 600 in one year.

My Tuesday project is puppets. I love puppets and have made one so far. I have wanted to make more, but did not have the right tools to make them out of wood. I then saw one made out of polymer clay and thought I could use polymer clay along with paper mache. I do not have a large goal with this one, but I will be working on a puppet every week.

Wednesday’s focus will be script writing. I love movies and theater and want to be a script writer but have not completed a script. I just know I have a lot of stories in my mind that would look great as a play or movie. My goal is to have one completed hour-long script done in a year. If I write more than I’ll be happy, but I want at least one good script a year.

Thursdays will be filled with acting, because yes I want to be an actor too. I will be working on finding the best monologue to audition with and post one monologue on you-tube a week. I have four large anthologies that I’ve been flipping through, plus spoon river anthology.

Last but certainly not least Fridays I will write one story in Story Time with Pink Sunshine.

There now my list of projects and goals are out there.