Realization

by tiffanyrandom ramblingsPosted on No Comments

success

I’m realizing I want to be an actor, but I cannot not be an author. I will write even if no one reads. I will create stories even if a pen and paper are not near. Characters come into my mind and I see stories without trying. The only real hard part with writing is getting everything written so that others can understand the things I find beautiful.

That is why this year I will be focusing on my writing. I will still try to post videos, but acting and media will be on the C/ last tier of goals. Writing either this blogs or my novel will be A/ first tier and the most important goals this year.

I want to get this draft done and polish my novel up to get editors or friends to give me their input. Plus, the deadline for this draft that I set for myself is fast approaching.

As it stands now God and my family (both blood and tribe) are the two most important things.  I’m going to be trying to find different more effective ways to connect with them this year and build stronger relationships. I haven’t written that down all nicely, though.

Next will be my Novel, which means I may not get all five posts published every week. I will try hard to do that, but my main focus will be the whole reason why I write as much as I do. I want to get better and get a book I wrote into readers hands. I don’t care about having a publisher’s stamp of approval now. I just want people to read my stuff.

And I would love people to read my book. I love the story and characters. I just hope the people who will read the book, well books (it is a series), will love them just as much. I mean I see them so clearly and the story is so real to me, but I’m still making it readable and well written.

Well, that was a bit of a ramble.  Basically what I’m saying is I will be writing more and acting less. Acting will go on the back burner until I finish editing my book. I need to focus on one dream/ goal at a time.

Imagine Dragons And Airplanes (a Short Story)

by tiffanyshort storiesPosted on No Comments

encouragement

She stood at the airport waiting for her ride wearing her green dress that flared at her hips. She waited as cars picked up loved ones and unicorns picked up their masters. She waited and waited.  She almost went back inside to call a taxi cab when a loud crashing sound and a terrifying roar of pain came blasting down the road where people were being picked up.

The lady looked towards the crash and saw a miniature dragon clumsily coming down a lane trying not to hit or even crush the cars in the other two lanes. Although he was a miniature dragon, he was still as long as a truck and each of his wings stretched out would also be as long as a truck. The lady gasped out of fear for the creature and for the people in the cars that he was trying so hard not to hit.

She feared for them until she saw who was riding the dark green scaled animal. Her husband rode on the dragon’s two person saddle. She smiled and rolled her eyes, “This is your surprise? We can’t afford a dragon!”

Finally her husband was close enough to climb down the great beast and hug his wife. He gave her a kiss in which he dipped her in his arms. When they parted he smiled his charming smile that made her fall in love with him so many years before. That is when he stated, “No, my new job is the surprise. This is just a little reward.”

“Nothing about a dragon is little.” The lady said and as she did the dragon leaned down to sniff her. He then lightly licked her as a sign of affection. She stared at the dragon’s purple eyes not wanting to like the animal, but finding that hard. “Just don’t fly too high, okay? I just got off a plane I don’t need to feel like I’m back on one.”

“Don’t worry honey. Bae, can’t go that high with two of us. One day soon, we should take him to a field, so that you can see how high he can go.”

She nodded and he loaded her two bags onto Bae’s back before helping her into her side of the saddle. They were then off flying a few feet over traffic; happily in between the airplanes and cars.

 

 

Where I wear my Heart (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve.
It is not on a piece of clothing that I wear.
My heart is easily concealed
and easily shown
on my claves
and on my chest,
painted with pain
each part properly placed.

Here is my family
always a part of me
like a vine of flowers
on which I stand,
first known and first inked.

Here is my claim
that I love God and he me,
the closest to my heart,
the hardest to make part,
shining what I believe
the easiest to see.
Love is at the center of the cross.

Next, let me show you
my smile.
The only one of my inked on hearts
that speaks clearly its words.
‘We’re all mad here,’
it smiles
reminding me, always,
that everyone is crazy
in their own special way,
so keep on smiling
because you are crazy too.

The last for now,
my truest of true heart
blossoms forth
beautifully claiming
each friend then and now
whether at my center
or closer to the start
has created my heart,
either with love or with hate
and will forever be part of me.

You see I do not stand alone.
I stand on my family,
supported by my friends
with God at my heart
and a smile always near by,
so I inked them with pain
as a reminder
and a claim
that no matter what happens
everyone
in my life and in my heart
in at least one way will never part.

Vacation (Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry
I need a vacation
from my vacation
to remember my life.
Funny how things are funny
when you rather work
than relax;
rather long days
than days of nothing,
so give me gifts of projects,
show me love by showing me a plan.

I needed time away
to know how much
I don’t need time away.
Now work is a happy burden
keeping my schedule a pleasant task.

Self (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

I lost myself
when I ignored myself,
not trusting my heart
not listening to my soul.
The gentle whispering
saying no was dismissed.
I turned away from myself
and hid myself,
so I lost myself.

Now I will find my heart
when I fly to the light
and can be bathing in support.
Will myself snap back in?
Will I come out of my hiding place,
when I am home
and my soul feels safe?
Will I then find my heart.

Here (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Here are the chains
I clasp on to my wrists.
Here is the weight
I tie to my heart.
Here is the knife
I slowly stab into my soul.
Here is the prison
I hide myself in.

I cannot unchain myself
from the chains I claimed.
I cannot untie or cute the rope
that holds down the weight on my heart.
I cannot heal the hurt
from the knife in my soul.
I cannot unlock my prison
that I once locked myself in.

So, I give you my chains,
please undo their locks.
I give you the weight,
please cut their ropes.
I give you the knife
please heal my wounds.
And I give you my prison,
please turn it into a home.
Yes, I give you my everything,
please make me whole.

DreamWard Bound After an Absence

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

I have not posted in a while. It has been about 2 weeks. One week I was on vacation and the next I was sick. I went to work, since each day I thought I was getting better only to realize by the end that I was exhausted. I had no energy to work on this blog, write, or  do anything really. I am still fighting my lack of motivation and this cold, but I know I need to just start writing again.  I need to get back on the DreamWard bound road, so this is me trying.

After the vacation and new year I am wondering if I actually have the same dreams and plans I did in the beginning of last year. I keep asking myself what do I really want and what really is possible. I am sure when I answer all my questions there will be another post about that. I need to figure out the answers first and seeing how it’s taking me all day just to write this post it may be awhile before I can really answer what is next for my creative life.

Right now, I just know that I need to get back in the rhythm of my life that was before vacation and sickness. I also need this cold to fully go away, so that I can get back to training and actually start Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu classes.

I will be posting all the things I wrote on my flights and during my vacation this coming week. One of the posts will be a start to a series that I hope will be more interactive, but  I will explain all about that later.

Since, I did not write or post anything this last week I will simply end this post. I hope you enjoyed this post which felt more like rambling than a DreamWard Bound Post.

Can I? A Poem

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
Will I then be alright?
Will that then calm my heart
or could this just be the start?
All evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
Life and the world
is saying turn away
but my heart is saying no.
No to taking a step back,
no to giving up before it starts,
no to doing what is smart.
Yet, if I call you
I wouldn’t know what to say.
If I heard your voice
mine would run away
and I would be helpless
if your laugh was brought from far away.

Can I call you up,
before anything really starts?
Can I hear your voice,
some how see your face?
Can I tell you that
your mind seems so brilliant,
your strength seems so foreign
and your smile is so enticing?
Can I share with you
my thoughts and how I see you?
One of which is you as
my ideal which frightens me,
a strange tough work of art
that makes me want to inspect more,
but when I get to close
I must turn away,
because your eyes
they seem so knowing
so frightfully knowing
and prefect.

Can I call you up,
before I know what to say?
Can I hear your voice,
even if you are not on my list?
You are not the person,
that my created wish list created.
You only have the needed traits,
the non-negotiable and absolutely needed parts.
What about the goofiness,
and where is the sense of humor?
How can you seem so great,
but lack the lightness I seek?
How would you fit in my family,
when you are not even a little crazy?
You see you are too sane
to be my ideal.
You are too put together
to have me by your side.
No, see you don’t have the things
I have said I don’t need,
so you must not be the one for me.

Still can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
I want to even though,
all evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
I want to because you seem to be
my ideal which frightens me.

 

I wrote this on November 29, 2014 to help me with a crush. I saved it for a bit of time, so that it would not be so fresh when I published it. Since now I have started the process of getting over this crush I feel like I can now publish this work of art. 

I hope you enjoy.

Starting Evaluation for BJJ

by tiffanyBrazilian Jiu-jitsu writings, other updates, random ramblingsPosted on No Comments

220px-BJJ_White_Belt.svg

I have read 3 books on Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) in the past week or so. They were all aimed towards white belts and were all introductions to the sport.  In every book they talked about how much they learned and changed, while being a white belt.

I have decided to do a self-evaluation for each belt. I am starting this before I even have my gi (the sport’s uniform). I have had two classes and fell in love with this sport, which is a first. Besides dance I have not found any physical activity that I would think of doing on a regular basis.

There is just something about going into a class knowing nothing, jumping in and finding that everyone in the class is willing and able to help everyone else learn. It is a team of sorts, only the teammates are trying to test their other teammates joints, strength, and abilities.

Now, here is where I am starting. I am 180 lbs, with a little stomach and I would say on the border of hourglass and full figure. At least that is how I see myself. I will be taking a picture to compare new white belt self with my blue belt self once I actually have my gi.

I started BJJ for self-defense and as a workout. I nearly passed out the first class I took, which made me realize I do need to have a group workout because I do not push myself when it is just myself.

After my first class I came back because of the community, new art form, new way of moving my body, and found a new journey that will last my entire life. I am excited for this journey as I am sure you can tell if you read my other posts. I will leave a list of the different writing I have written, so far on BJJ.

I am just starting out but I have learned a few things. The most important thing I feel I have learned is the fact that I can do BJJ. I have also learned what to look for in a gi, of course that was mostly online research and not in a class. Still I did learn how to shop for a gi. Another thing I learned in BJJ is that fighting and fighting sports does not mean injury. Actually if you are training you don’t want injury either to yourself or your partner. Finally I learned that BJJ is a community and team sport that focuses on everyone improving techniques and welcoming any one will to learn in.

That is what I have learned so far. I am sure I will be learning more and more as the weeks and months go on. Now here is what I have written so far about BJJ.

Start of a Journey.

Pain So Good (A Poem)

Rush (A Poem)