My End Goals And Dreams

dreamer

I mentioned in this week’s DreamWard Bound post that I was going to sit down and revise not only my goals but my dreams or end goals. I wanted to start from scratch and figure out where I actually want to go from where I am.

I have done this at least one other time and I do not believe I shared the entire thing that I wrote about my goals and dreams. I have big dreams and sometimes I wonder if I share them if that will hurt my  chances of getting them. Well, more and more I am realizing that dreams are just goals without actionable steps being taken. My dreams might be larger than my life, but I do have small steps to walk towards them. I am creating goals for my life to bring me to my dreams.

Since my ideas of dreams and goals have changed, I would like to share with you my end goal and what I imagine my perfect life to be. I am not saying that my life will be perfect. It will just be perfectly suited for me. I know there will be hard times and sacrifices that I must make along the way, but it will be worth it.

Here you go.

Goals and Dreams:

Where do I start? In my dreams I am a happy artist.

My main focus is writing and acting. I wake up early most days and work long hours when I am on set. I am warm and friendly to both cast and crew. People Enjoy working with me. I work on either faith-based of sci-fi/ fantasy based movies or television shows portraying strong women, dorky side kicks, independent women or other roles that break false images of women or Christians. My main focus with acting is to shine the light of God’s love and the strength he gives his daughters. I want mainstream media to stop putting down or giving a false image of Christian women.

I want to be a part of a movement where we bring Christian morals back to entertainment and art. I want to help people see that Christianity is about loving each other and God’s love. I want to show and teach people that religion for religion’s sake is wrong, but a loving relationship with God is the way to live. He is the one who can save the world and he is the reason for love. Jesus came to the world not to condemn it but to save it and the world should know that. I want to help the world learn that kind of love.

Sorry for that little rant. Let me continue with the other areas of my future life.

I have a fan base that feels comfortable around me and who I actually help. They find support along with a distant friend in me.

I am more than an actor though. I also write and publish books. I have my blog, but my books are my main writing focus and means of income as far as writing is concerned.

I also work towards crossing 1 item off my bucket list each year.

When I am not writing or acting I want to be training BJJ or even another martial art. I want to be able to learn from every aspect of my life and use it towards acting, writing or any other art form I may take up. BJJ helps me prepare for fight scenes and give me confidence and friendship. My end goal with BJJ is to be physically healthy, able to protect myself, and perhaps even become a black belt.

For my family I imagine that I am close and talk often to both my real family and my church family. I know that they will always be there for me and they support me the best way they can. I want to be able to support them also with the needs they have. I also want to become as open as possible with each and every family member, creating relationships with no walls.

I know that I can do all this because I am focused on God. He is the only way that I will stay on track. I will grow my relationship with him daily either by prayer, podcasts, books, sermons, audio-books or conversations directed towards God.

My goals that I have are as follows:

Spiritual: In order to focus on God more fully I will not watch tv or YouTube, unless with friends or it’s teaching on God, for the next 3 months (until September 13th) and with that extra time I will listen to a podcast or read a Biblical based book. This time will be focused on growing my understanding about God and exploring where he might be leading me.

 Relationship: I will tell one person that I love them every day for the next month (until July 13th) and try to start a conversation with them. I am doing this to strengthen my relationships and spread my love.

Physical: I am going to train BJJ at least 3 days and do bed-room workouts 2 other days every week. In addition I am going to eat 1 organic meal a week and at least 1 healthy meal every day. I will do this for the next month (until July 13th).

Editing: I will spend 30 hrs in the next 30 days editing my book (July 13th), keeping in mind that my new deadline for the second draft is November 1st.

Acting/ Writing: I will write 1 monologue a week and record at least 1 monologue a month. I will post every monologue that I record to YouTube to help grow my audience and receive feedback. I will do this for 3 months (until September 13th).

Words about this past Stated Song video

I realized the other day that I have not mentioned anything about my videos with the exception that I am still doing them.

This past weekend I did another Stated Song, instead of a traditional monologue. Stated Songs are the least viewed videos on my channel and I basically do them for myself. I will be doing more monologues next week. However, I felt like I needed to do it, partly because I already had it Queued up in my mind to do it and partly because it is exactly where I am right now.

The song that I turned into a monologue was “I Want To Be Something,” by Weezer. I really like Weezer’s music, which you can by the fact that this is my second video using their songs as a monologue. The first one being “The Other Way”

I hope you like it and please let me know what you think.

Also, The song  “I Want To Be Something” was written and performed by Weezer. It appears on the band’s album Hurley which was released in 2010. Although there is no music video there is a recording of this song on YouTube here :http://youtu.be/a_m4SlbUujA and the band’s channel is https://www.youtube.com/user/WeezerVEVO . The band’s website is http://www.weezer.com/.

Robin Williams' Monody poem

poetry

Monody

A monody is a poem in which one person laments another’s death, as in Tennyson’s Break, Break, Break, or Wordsworth’s She Dwelt Among the Untrodden Ways. (Also see Dirge, Elegy, Epitaph)

I have put this one off for a while. Honestly, I’ve put all the structure poems off for a few weeks, now. With Robin Williams’ passing I thought I would write one to honor him. He was one of my favorite actors and I know I am not alone. 

Laughter and Smiles
Fill the room
when your voice fills the air
Now only recorded
now only memories.
There are so many memories
of stand up
of comedy
and of moments meant to move.
With a voice meant to change
with every character
with every scene.

You were a light
you were comedy
you were a hug in a movie form
a smile when I needed one.
You touch my heart
and lightened my soul.

Now a legend
Now I hope you find your bliss.
Lay in rest
be at peace
and know you are missed.

Connecting with a Character

I just recorded a video that talks about connecting with a character. I had written everything out, but I did not memorize what I wrote so the video is a bit different. I wanted to make sure I shared both though, because I believe they both have value.

First here is what I wrote. The video is below the write up.

The steps towards my goals I want to talk about is connecting with a character. It is something that I believe an actor has to do to portray a character justly. Something needs to snap in place and you the actor has to feel right with the character you have to fully get the character you are portraying.

I have struggled with this as you can see in my precious videos or at least I can see it in the stated songs and poetry readings I’ve done. Something just wasn’t clicking, the character I was trying be were just words. They had no life to them.

Well this week at my improv group a character clicked with me. I really feel like I did the character justice even if it was a silly improv game. I still made that connection, which has been a while since I could say that.

Thinking about it I wonder if I just haven’t realized it at improv before or if it’s growth. Either way it is a boost of confidence for me and reassurance that I can act. I just need to find the character in the words and figure out how to bring the scripted ones to life.

 

Sated Song: Storybook

This week’s Stated Song is Storybook which is from the musical Scarlet Pimpernel. When I was younger I was in voice lessons to learn how to sing and this was a song I remember very fondly  doing. I really like the dreamer’s voice and attitude. Some days I feel this same way. Some days I feel like I am just a dreamer with no real love. However, I am lucky, because I do have real love. I have a wonderful family and friends who love me. Yet, since I don’t have a ‘lover’ I do feel like I am missing what is real love, which is what this song is about.

You can listen to the actual song on youtube. It is sung by Rachel York. The musical, The Scarlet Pimpernel  is a 1997 Broadway musical composed by Frank Wildhorn and written by Nan Knighton, the production starred Douglas Sills as Sir Percy Blakeney, Christine Andreas as Marguerite Blakeney, and Terrence Mann as Citizen Chauvelin. ( I simply copied and pasted all this information from The Scarlet Pimpernel’s Wikiepedia page.)

 

The lyrics that I used for this Stated song are:

Listen to me, I have beautiful dreams I can spin you
Dreams to linger within you
Close your eyes and we’ll ride my carousel
I’ll tell you stories of lovers whose love used to fill me
And the lovers who will be
For, you see, love is one thing I do well
Come, let’s believe love can be just as sweet as it seems
Let’s live on dreams!

In my dreams such beautiful lovers have found me
Storybook lovers surround me
Nothing is real, but I’m flying, sighing
Where is my storybook ending?
Why does my golden pretending
Leave me with nothing to hold but my dreams?

Oh, is it only in dreams that we find our ideal love?
Are there lovers with real love?
If you know how to feel love, show me now
but my prince, if you can’t be as sweet as you seem
I’d rather dream

Come and wake me!
Come be the love I can hold now
Storybook love leaves me cold now
Show me the way to stop dreaming
There is only one perfect storybook ending
That is the end of pretending
That is the moment I say, love me now!

Stated Song: Cockeyed Optimist

This week’s acting video is a Stated Song called Cockeyed Optimist. Cockeyed Optimist was composed byRichard Rodgers, with lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein II and is found in the musical South Pacific. The wikipedia page for the musical can be found at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/South_Pacific_(musical). For a video of the actual song please go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0DusO6ipLw.


The lyrics are:

When the sky is a bright canary yellow
I forget every cloud I’ve ever seen,
So they called me a cockeyed optimist
Immature and incurably green.

I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That we’re done and we might as well be dead,
But I’m only a cockeyed optimist
And I can’t get it into my head.

I hear the human race
Is fallin’ on its face
And hasn’t very far to go,
But every whippoorwill
Is sellin’ me a bill,
And tellin’ me it just ain’t so.

I could say life is just a bowl of Jello
And appear more intelligent and smart,
But I’m stuck like a dope
With a thing called hope,
And I can’t get it out of my heart!
Not this heart…

I really had a fun time doing this monologue/ stated song. I enjoyed making this one the most, so far. Please let me know what you think.

 

DreamWard Bound (6/7-6/14/14)

I did not take notes this week. I did not do anything amazing and had to push myself to do anything productive all week, which is partly why there is no notes. It was really tough for me to do anything this week. I do not really know why, but I was just not motivated at all. I have been wondering if the lack of motivation had to do with the fact that I had the house to myself. At the beginning of the week I was excited and thought I would be doing a lot more, maybe even record my monologue early, because there would be not distraction from the other 3 people I am currently living with.

I started the week off great. Monday I did some research on acting classes and how much an acting coach around here would cost. I was really looking to figure out where I’m going with everything. Research then drifted into ‘research,’ where I watched youtube videos of actor’s being interviewed. It was still helpful hearing experienced actors and actresses talk about acting and their advice, but I think I could have used my time more wisely.

I did record a video talking about why I act on Wednesday. I had nothing planned for the night and wanted or needed to get answers to questions I’ve been asking myself for a while. The problem with asking yourself questions I am realizing is that, unless you write the answers down or say them out loud you forget.

Now I could have just wrote my answer down or record it and keep it to myself.  I did not have to post it on youtube, but I did because I am hoping that by sharing this it may bring a smile to someone’s face or help clarify  questions some one may have.

Oh and here is the video.

Thursday I did go to improv and we actually did a great new game that is focused on developing fast characters. This is a trait that

As far as my walking/ fitness goal goes, I walked 3.73 miles. I did not meet my goal for this week, but that’s why it’s a goal. I keep forgetting that these things are goals and not something I will do right away. I need to work up to the goals I set.

I just finished recording this week’s monologue, which was “to be or not to be.” Since I am writing this post while uploading it to youtube I am just going to give you the video in this blog.


I hope you guys enjoyed this blog and let me know what you think. Feedback and comments are always welcomed.

Stated Song: You Lead

This weeks Stated Song is You Lead, which was written by Jaime Grace and recorded on the album “One Song at a Time” in 2011 under Gotee Records. The video associated with this song is at http://youtu.be/JFmSzL2ppvg.

I really love this song because it is about some one who needs God to take the reigns of her life. This is something that I’m trying to do. I want him to lead me into a life that he wants me to have. I also feel like I started wandering, so doing this song this week was my continual prayer for the week.

Now the lyrics that I was working off are

 

 

I’ve got waves that are tossin’ me,
Crashin’ all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be yours,
So pull me out of this mess I’m in,
Cause I know I’m wanderin’
Lead my soul back home again,
I’ve always been yours,

And this world may push, may pull,
But your lovin’ never fails,

You lead, I’ll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly,
When you lead, I’ll follow,
Just light the way and I’ll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on.

As a child I heard your voice,
But as a girl I made my choice,
There is no other way for me,
I’m devoted to you,
You’re my peace on the heavy days,
You’re the warmth of an autumn blaze,
Your love carries me away,
And it’s never too soon.

Sometimes when I wake up, I don’t wanna rise up, Out of my bed, to many thoughts in my head,
Don’t wanna be who I used to be,
Gonna take the back seat and let you lead,
So lead me on.
And I need to stop,
Cause I’m going too fast,
And I know my God is still God, And you got my back,

Of course if you watch and listen you’ll hear that I changed them up a bit.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know what you think.
 

Stated Song: Carry on Wayward Son

I just finished this week’s stated song. I tried a few little things different and at least I can see the difference. I realized I was not warming up and excepting to act as if I was. I also was just going and doing, forgetting why I was actually recording these videos. They are supposed to be my form of training and working the acting muscle. They are not just to get my name out there. I kept this in my mind before and after working on it. During I focused on what I was doing and had to focus on taking myself out of the equation.

You can not think about what you are doing when you are acting, because how many times in a day do you think to yourself I am doing xyz because of abc? I know when I’m in the moment I’m only thinking about that moment, so when I am acting I need to remember to forget about everything not it that moment or monologue.


One of the things that I’m changing is to put more content in the blog posts for the videos, including the lyrics that I used. So, here is the words I used.

Carry on  Wayward Son By: Kansas

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man

Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I’m dreamin’, I can hear them say

Carry on, my wayward son
For there’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don’t know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion

Tossed about I’m like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say

Carry on, my wayward son
For there’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life’s no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on, my wayward son
For there’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more

 

I also want to make sure everyone has all the information on this song, because every song I do I do because I love the song and am a fan of the artist behind the song. Carry On My Wayward Son was written by Kansas in 1976 and recorded on LeftOverture under  Sony Music Entertainment . Kansas’ website is http://www.kansasband.com/index.php . There is no official music video for this song but there is a video of them playing live at http://youtu.be/D6bQ4EAduBg.

I hope you enjoyed all this information and if you have any request, suggestions, or feedback please let me know.

 

Extra Stated Song: You are my sunshine

Hello since I had an extra day I figured I would do a quick video. I was planning on doing Carry on My wayward Son, but decided to do a song that I know by heart and love deeply. You are my Sunshine is a song that my mom sung to me growing up and I love it.


I hope you enjoy this video.