My End Goals And Dreams

dreamer

I mentioned in this week’s DreamWard Bound post that I was going to sit down and revise not only my goals but my dreams or end goals. I wanted to start from scratch and figure out where I actually want to go from where I am.

I have done this at least one other time and I do not believe I shared the entire thing that I wrote about my goals and dreams. I have big dreams and sometimes I wonder if I share them if that will hurt my  chances of getting them. Well, more and more I am realizing that dreams are just goals without actionable steps being taken. My dreams might be larger than my life, but I do have small steps to walk towards them. I am creating goals for my life to bring me to my dreams.

Since my ideas of dreams and goals have changed, I would like to share with you my end goal and what I imagine my perfect life to be. I am not saying that my life will be perfect. It will just be perfectly suited for me. I know there will be hard times and sacrifices that I must make along the way, but it will be worth it.

Here you go.

Goals and Dreams:

Where do I start? In my dreams I am a happy artist.

My main focus is writing and acting. I wake up early most days and work long hours when I am on set. I am warm and friendly to both cast and crew. People Enjoy working with me. I work on either faith-based of sci-fi/ fantasy based movies or television shows portraying strong women, dorky side kicks, independent women or other roles that break false images of women or Christians. My main focus with acting is to shine the light of God’s love and the strength he gives his daughters. I want mainstream media to stop putting down or giving a false image of Christian women.

I want to be a part of a movement where we bring Christian morals back to entertainment and art. I want to help people see that Christianity is about loving each other and God’s love. I want to show and teach people that religion for religion’s sake is wrong, but a loving relationship with God is the way to live. He is the one who can save the world and he is the reason for love. Jesus came to the world not to condemn it but to save it and the world should know that. I want to help the world learn that kind of love.

Sorry for that little rant. Let me continue with the other areas of my future life.

I have a fan base that feels comfortable around me and who I actually help. They find support along with a distant friend in me.

I am more than an actor though. I also write and publish books. I have my blog, but my books are my main writing focus and means of income as far as writing is concerned.

I also work towards crossing 1 item off my bucket list each year.

When I am not writing or acting I want to be training BJJ or even another martial art. I want to be able to learn from every aspect of my life and use it towards acting, writing or any other art form I may take up. BJJ helps me prepare for fight scenes and give me confidence and friendship. My end goal with BJJ is to be physically healthy, able to protect myself, and perhaps even become a black belt.

For my family I imagine that I am close and talk often to both my real family and my church family. I know that they will always be there for me and they support me the best way they can. I want to be able to support them also with the needs they have. I also want to become as open as possible with each and every family member, creating relationships with no walls.

I know that I can do all this because I am focused on God. He is the only way that I will stay on track. I will grow my relationship with him daily either by prayer, podcasts, books, sermons, audio-books or conversations directed towards God.

My goals that I have are as follows:

Spiritual: In order to focus on God more fully I will not watch tv or YouTube, unless with friends or it’s teaching on God, for the next 3 months (until September 13th) and with that extra time I will listen to a podcast or read a Biblical based book. This time will be focused on growing my understanding about God and exploring where he might be leading me.

 Relationship: I will tell one person that I love them every day for the next month (until July 13th) and try to start a conversation with them. I am doing this to strengthen my relationships and spread my love.

Physical: I am going to train BJJ at least 3 days and do bed-room workouts 2 other days every week. In addition I am going to eat 1 organic meal a week and at least 1 healthy meal every day. I will do this for the next month (until July 13th).

Editing: I will spend 30 hrs in the next 30 days editing my book (July 13th), keeping in mind that my new deadline for the second draft is November 1st.

Acting/ Writing: I will write 1 monologue a week and record at least 1 monologue a month. I will post every monologue that I record to YouTube to help grow my audience and receive feedback. I will do this for 3 months (until September 13th).

DreamWard Bound (week 6/22-6/28)

success

Let’s just jump right into my weekly review of my week. On Monday I wrote, “It’s only Monday and already I have done extra. Sunday I had some free time, since I got everything I needed to get down during the weekend done on Saturday. That being the case I painted and recorded it. You can find it at Heart On Fire.

I also wrote my Palindrome poem on Monday, which was sort of fast. I thought a lot about it and finally came up with something that fit the rules. It’s not my favorite, but 6 people liked it in 2 hours, so what do I know. I also wrote For Now, which is a Katauta Poem. That poem posted on Tuesday, because I do the whole pacing my posts out thing.

My productivity was not as great the following days. I thought I would be getting a lot more done and a bunch of extra stuff posted. Yet, I do have 7 links for you to click in the “List of Stuff I did this week” list. I guess it was a pretty good week.

Now, unbeknownst to me one of my goals have changed. Well my creative goal has changed.  I’ve been thinking about “officially” changing my creative goal for a while now. I’ve been trying to figure out what I could change it to. Well on Wednesday I figured out exactly what it has turned into. It is now one post, whether poem or otherwise, a day. Every 2 months that I post a poem or other post daily I will buy something to further my artistic career. Since this is such a catch-all I can also use it to create a one of a kind super computer. I’m thinking something with a separate storage drive that is about one terabyte big and as much ram that I can possibly have. Oh and the latest video card and a bunch of editing software. Before you ask, yes I realize how much of a nerd I’m turning into. I guess nerding out comes with my job (my day job that it).

Before you click on all the exciting links, please know that I will be going on vacation this coming up week and will not be posting as much. I hope to get a few days in before I fly out, but I won’t be taking my computer. Lack of computer means lack of posting abilities. Hopefully when I come back I will have a bunch of new material to share.

List of stuff I did this week

Stated Song: Storybook

Naani

Ode to Bed

No Structure Poem

For Now

Interesting Thoughts

Palindrome Poem

Heart on Fire

Heart on Fire 003

Interesting Thought.

You may have noticed that this past weekend I spent a lot of time with my camera recording. I had my normal acting video, my painting, and a special short story for my nephew.

My hope in doing acting videos is for people to watch, be entertained, and hopefully give feedback. I am doing them so I can grow. My focus with them is others that I may not know. I’m trying to reach the widest audience with these videos.
I recorded my painting because I find it interesting to watch a painting come to life. I know a few friends enjoy watching them, but I do it because I like it. I’m not really focused on the audience with these videos.
Finally I recorded my short story for an audience of one. I only cared about entertaining my nephew. I had fun writing for him and showing my love to him in a unique way; in a way that was very much me. He has been a big fan of mine and he may not even know how much him liking my art means to me, but it means the world to me. I can always count on him for a good review.

What is interesting about these three videos? Well I realized something important. It is something that I should have known and as an artist I should remind myself every time before sitting/ standing to create. I realized that when you focus your art on someone you love or share your love through your art, that is when it means something. When love is at the center you will get noticed.

I almost didn’t post my short story on youtube. I was just going to post it on my sister’s facebook wall, but I wanted to make sure my nephew would be able to see it whenever he wanted. That was the only reason I posted it on youtube. Now it has 11 views, (I know that is not that much) when I was hoping for only 1. My painting has 14, when I did not care and my acting has 3 when I was going for at least 14.

The lesson in all of this is remembered to do what you love because you love it, not because of others.



DreamWard Bound (week of June 14- 21, 2014)

success

I feel like this week was very focused on this blog. I kept a close eye on my stats, reviewed them, and took note every time some one liked a post or started to follow the blog. I started to really look into the blog on Monday, which after I did I wrote, “I am loving the fact that for very post I have published some one has started to follow the blog. Now, some posts go unread or not liked as much as others, which is fine and will happen. – I’m not perfect and do not fool myself into thinking I am. –  Still I am so happy and thankful that you guys have at least found one post you liked enough to follow.”  When I say that for every post published some one started following my blog, I mean I have published 114 posts now and have 115 followers. On Monday these two numbers were the same.

I did not take any notes on Tuesday. I had apartment searching stuff to do and then went over a friend’s house. Thankfully I had written and schedule a poem to be published already, so although I was not creative my creative journey still charged on.

On Wednesday I wrote and posted Free. I then looked at my stats, again,  and realized how many more visitors are coming to my site, since last year. I had months when no one would visit and others where only one would visit. Now I’m surprised if no one visits in a day. That just shows you what regular work will do. That little encounter with stats, reminded me that my creative life is a journey and I am walking/ working on it.

Thursday was improv day. I did find time to write a poetry post after the group though. It was actually made up of two poems, which I didn’t think I did that well with, but it got likes, so what do I know.

Friday I wrote the poem Talk, before going over a friend’s house for game night.

Saturday I recorded this weeks video, which is of me doing a Cock-eyed Optimist from South Pacific. It is a stated song that I really love, because I am an Optimist and can not be anything but an Optimist. I hold too tightly to hope and faith.

I also wrote this post on Saturday, but I only like to post once a day.

I want to close this post with a thought that, while writing keeps popping back into my mind. Being an artist and being creative is a journey and a life style. If you really are an artist you will create a life that helps you blossom in your art, but it is work to find the balance. Some days you will not see the fruit of your work and feel off-balance, others you will be thriving and feeling amazing. The real work is to find out how to work through your feelings, maybe even use the discouraged and alone feelings to make your art. I know a bunch of times this week I felt like I wasn’t going anywhere, that is the reason I looked at the stats so much.

Maybe I am just talking to myself right now and that is okay, but you need to find what works for you and work at it. You will be happier and live a more full life when you do live a balanced life. You will be more you, (if that is a thing) when you work towards goals that truly make you happy, because when you work towards the goals you start a journey and at least I realized that the fun is in the journey and the reward is the goal.

 

 

 

Here is a list of what I did this week:

Cock-eyed Optimist

Talk

Haiku

Free

My Tombstone

Epigram

 

 

DreamWard Bound (5/18-5/24/14)

success

 

I’m going to try something new this week. Instead of trying to think of my entire week all at once, I have taken notes and editing them together. My thinking is that you will get a more detailed and dynamic post.

On Monday I finished reading the shooting script of “When Harry Met Sally.” It was really great and I loved being able to see what a real movie script looks like. I have read a lot of play scripts and my brother-in-law’s script, “Empty.” This was one that I already knew the movie to and read because of that fact. It was a great read and I could see the writer’s voice, even in the shot set ups which I really enjoyed.

I also wrote on Monday, “I am excited about picking and working on my next monologue/ stated song.” And that “I will also be starting a new challenge and facing my fears more… With the exception of escalators and birds, because come on stairs should not move and birds are evil.” As far as facing my fears goes, I did not see any fears to face. I will be keeping this fear facing in mind as I go on with my life though.

Well as you can see from the video I did work on the monologue all week. I most likely should have worked on it more, but this is a process of growth. Not Every video will be amazing. I just hope you like one or two that I do.

I also spent Monday looking for and organizing more monologue/ songs.

On Tuesday I walked around my work with some co-workers for 15 minutes. I did not do anything creative, but since I spent all night on Monday working on my monologue I was not too worried or upset.

On Wednesday I went walked again for another 15 minutes, wrote for about 10 (most likely more) and went to an open house, that ended poorly. Another thing is that I read for most of the car ride to work and part of the way home also. That was the day I started to read Self-Editing For Fiction Writer, which is the book I mentioned in  In The Diner. 

Thursday  I wrote, “I love when monologues come together and you make discoveries. I also think I figured out how to introduce the video.”

Friday I spent the night in, which let me write, work on my monologue and relax.

I’m writing this on Saturday, even though you most likely are reading it on Sunday. I would rather spread out my posts, so that they don’t get lost in your reader, twitter feed, or FB news feed. Also, I do not like getting a bunch of notices/ tweets from the same person all at once, so I won’t do that to you.

Now as far as today goes I walked for a little over half an hour, which meant I walked for 2 miles. I also weighed myself and am down about 2 lbs, which is mostly due to not eating candy or chips at work and walking a little every day. I also posted my weekly video, wrote this post, and read a bunch in my Bible.

After all that is said and written, the real question is what shall I do now?