Could Be ( A Poem)

poetry
This could be amazing;
ride upon unicorns
over sparkling rainbows
while bards play magical melodies
and wild nymphs dance on trees
amazing.
Others may spring into light
out of sheer joy.
This could bring delightful dancing doggies
or curiously cute cats,
wonders upon wonders could be brought.

On the other hand
if you flip the tape,
reverse my hopes,
show my fears.

This could be terrible,
rotted death could ooze out its orifices
like black tar filled humiliation
and the sulfur smell of dying dreams
those that were crushed by failure,
which would cause a dank cave
to become a bare home for my soul
with only swollen sadness
to guide my lonely days.

There is a burning flame
a flickering fire inside
that holds to the unicorn
almost seeing the sparkling rainbow
and knows
even if dying dreams are crushed by failure
new one will arise
out of the dream pulp
or ashes of failure.
The phoenix that is my heart
will go on
will create.

4/6/14-4/13/14 (DreamWard Bound)


I started my new job this week. I went in bright and early on Monday and then even earlier every other day. I did my training and went through Human Resources things. By the end of the week I was actually working on a few real sites. You see my not lame day job, that I mentioned in last week’s DreamWard Bound post, is that I’m an ethical hacker. I will be working on client’s sites to find their weaknesses, so that the bad guys can’t. It is technically called web security, but ethical hacker sounds much cooler.

Since most of my time, energy, and brain power went to just surviving the first week of waking up early, and working 8 hrs a day, I do not have an art updates. This post is the closest thing to writing I have done all week, which actually brings me to my first realization. I need to do something art based every week. I was so wiped by the time the week ended and it took me until today, Sunday, to realize how drained I was. You see, art is how I charge my brain’s battery. I turn off reality while I create. I turn off what is going on in my life. I turn off myself. I step outside of who I am to create and in creating I learn either more about God or more about myself, some how. This may not make sense, but art doesn’t always make sense. Just know that art is a release and I now know that I 100% need that release in my daily life, or at least in my weekly schedule.

Another thing I learned, well kind of learned or rather something I want to make sure you know. The web security industry is awesome. What I have seem of it, is super cool. Most of my co-workers are nice people who want to help. Some have felt the sting of being on the outside of society (ie they’re nerds). Others are what society would call normal, or at least can fake normalcy for the most part. What it comes down to is that I know work with nerds, geeks, and just smart guys, who are real. The entire company seems to be made up of normal people working comfortably. Even the upper managers are just normal people, working in a company that promotes openness and a relaxed yet productive culture. In other words I work at an awesome tech company, that is like the tech companies you may hear about.

Now, I may be working a day job to support my passions, but my friend/ roommate will not be. I am sure I mentioned Kateland before. I may have only mentioned her blog. Any ways I am super excited for her, because we are both focused on our dreams right now and she is taking a giant step towards her dreams. She will be working with a musician for the next month or so. She is going to travel with him and sell his merchandise, which will help her experience tour life, network with people, and be around the music she loves. She has a passion for music and this job will surround her in music. I am very excited for her and happy that she will be able to have a taste of her dreams. I have been telling everyone I can, because this will affect my life, also. I will be watching and learning from her experience.

I believe that is all that went on this week. I hope to post more about my art in the coming week, but for now it’s all about my not lame day job.

success