Throwback: An Artist (An Original Monologue)

by tiffanyrecordedPosted on No Comments
An Artist (An Original monologue) A Throwback Video

Back in 2015, I wrote a monologue called “Artist” I then performed and recorded it. That video is posted on YouTube, but you can find it below also. Along with the orginial monologue.

Artist

I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observe the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.

Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.

When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end  when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.

You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.

Want More?

If you would like to watch more videos please check out my YouTube channel. You can also keep up to date with all my happenings on Instagram or Facebook. Also, I do post regular throwback posts on this site.

A Few Fun Old Improv Videos

by tiffanyrecordedPosted on No Comments
A Throwback Video

I love improv and for a little bit, I was in a troupe that meant weekly. We would get together and practice improvisational acting through games. Some required multiple people with strict formats. Other games were solo practices. Rant and Rave is one game where you perform an improvized monologue about something you love or hate. The topic would be given to you by the audience or when we were practicing one of the other members.

Around the time I was in that troupe I wanted to do some extra acting so asked Facebook and my friends for prompts. With two prompts I was able to do a rant and rave. The Veruca Salt was a different kind of a prompt where I just made up a monologue. Here are the three videos that came out of the prompts.

Want More?

If you would like to watch more videos please check out my YouTube channel. You can also keep up to date with all my happenings on Instagram or Facebook. Also, I do post regular throwback posts on this site.

Healthy Bagel blog series

Mentally Healthy Bagel

by tiffanyHealthy Bagel, LifePosted on No Comments

I have primarily talked about physical health and my journey with weight loss. However, that is not actually the main focus of this journey. Instead of working towards a physical health goal, like weight loss. I have been trying to be mindful of the reasons behind my habits and my mindset that caused me to not be my physical best. Basically I am working on the inside out this time.

Your mind is where every action or inaction stems from, so you should pay attention and take care of it. Why am I eating what I eating? It is because some part of my brain said, “Yes, tuna fish is what you want to eat right now.” It could have very easy decided that I actually should go to the store and buy a large thing of ice-cream, but it didn’t. Looking at the reason behind your actions or inaction can teach you so much about yourself.

Once I fully grasped the concept that every action or inaction comes from my brain, I realized that I can control and change my mind. I didn’t have to stay stuck with the same thought patterns or reactions. This is really when I started my health journey.

Why I think Dieting fails

Yes, I had tried dieting before and living a healthier lifestyle many times. I would typically fail, because I was just doing what I thought I should be doing and not looking at the reasons. The reasons didn’t resonate deep enough for me to keep with it and what I truly wanted to change was not actually being changed.

Most of the time the reasons we want to change our outward appearance has more to do with how we see ourselves and inner minds. That is why I never saw lasting change. I wasn’t changing the foundation or inner life, so my outside appearance was only always temporary.

Let me rephrase that for you:

If you don’t change the inside your outside appearance will only be temporary.

A few months ago

I realized the need to change my inner life and thought pattern a few months or maybe even a year ago, so I started my deep dive. That is when I started “Healthy Bagel.” I wrote the first blog post, but didn’t publish it and then backed away. Something was holding me back. I realize now I didn’t really want to do the deep dive into my mind. However, that was the only way real change would happen.

When I finally did look honestly at myself I realized the real reasons why I wanted to get ‘healthy.’ I use quotes, because I have no chronic illness, I’m hardly ever sick, and can be pretty active.

Here is what I realized about my reasons for being physically fit

  1. My BMI (Body Mass Index) defined my health in my mind and I used the BMI system as a way to keep my confidence down.
  2. My desire is to be more attractive
  3. I want to feel better about my physical body.
  4. Mainstream society’s weight limits and attitudes dictated my own.
  5. If I was a smaller size it would be easier to find a bra.
  6. Finally, I want to prove to myself I can be as fit as I want.

To put it simply I want to feel good about my body and increase my confidence.

How am I using my reasons to get healthier?

First I am looking at the beliefs behind the reasons. Why do I equate BMI with health? Why am I not feel great about my physical body? Why do I want to prove that I can be more physically fit? Why is my confidence tied to my physical appearance?

Some of beliefs are influenced by the society and culture I am a part of; others are more personal. I’m still explore which ones are which and how to overcome the limiting beliefs.

I do know that being physically active is a good thing and I do feel better when I’m taking care of myself, so that won’t change. I want to be the best version of me and currently that involves taking a journey towards being the healthiest I can be.

For more on my health journey check out the previous blog posts.

Healthy Bagel blog series

Healthy Bagel Confession

by tiffanyHealthy BagelPosted on No Comments

I have a confession I must share with you. I’ve already had set backs on this journey.

In the past month I’ve wanted to quit . My mental focus has been on my setbacks. It’s hard to start a new lifestyle. It’s hard to continually put the effort towards being healthy. That is what this whole thing is about. I’m really on a quest to find and live the healthiest lifestyle for myself.

I want to be healthy and be the type of person who just naturally chooses the healthy options. It would be great if I just naturally ate less sugar and less carbs. I would be happy if it was easy to decide to go for a run every morning.

Of course if that was the case then I wouldn’t be writing this blog or on this journey. I’m sure I will learn more and more things as I decide to do the hard, but healthy things.

The end result and quest itself may look different for you, but I hope you jump on this band wagon with em. It’s hard and the wagon may break down sometime, but it is worth the journey.

Even with the stumbles and set backs I have noticed a few changes, that no one else has noticed, yet. The changes have been slight, but they’re there. I’ve starting to see that my muscles have the desire to show themselves. They’re still shy and hiding behind a couple layers of fat. I’m also noticing my clothes are growing.

I’m still in the orange zone (191-199lbs), but honestly feeling okay with my progress at this moment. I currently have a great amount of energy, which is why I am feeling good about my progress.

1st Thing I’ve learned

Being emotionally, physically, or mentally drained are the cause of my setbacks. Willpower does take energy, so it makes sense that when I don’t have a lot of energy my willpower depletes quickly.

2nd Thing I’ve learned

I have also learned that when I eat like crap I feel like crap. If I eat sugar or carb filled stuff at night I’ll wake up feeling low or emotionally heavy, which makes me want to grab for a quick fix. The quick fix of course is sugar and carbs, which will help for a bit, but just repeats the blah feeling.

It’s also easier for me to continue to eat things I know is not healthy, because I swear sugar and carbs mess with my sleep.

I was eating clean, or clean for me, for a week; checking the sugar and carbs in everything and restricted my carb intake. I felt great and woke up fully refreshed, which I didn’t even realize was an issue.

Why Being Nice To Yourself Is Important

I had one or two slip ups, but regained control after my clean eating week. I still had plenty of emotional and mental energy to pull myself together.

Things were going well for about a week after that and then outside forces emptied my tanks of their energy. I’m slowly refilling my energy tanks, but as they fill I’m focusing on being kind to myself.

I don’t want to forgive myself for eating a pint of ice cream in one sitting or having pancakes with extra honey, but I know I should.

After I convince myself I need something unhealthy or eat too many desserts I need to forgive myself and move on. Holding on to regret or guilt, only makes me want to eat junk food more. Junk food can be a quick fix and fast comfort, but it’s fix and comfort fades just as fast.

I’m not giving up on my health though. I am re-evaluating and adjusting what I’m doing.

Like any goal or achievement you aim for you need to stay focused on the achievement, but be flexible on how you get there.

DreamWard Bound series

Different Jobs (Dreamward Bound)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

Through out my life I have worked for 10 very different companies and had 11 different jobs. In college I also had a bunch of different career oriented experiences, primarily in the theater.

Notice that each of the companies had jobs, not careers. I could have turned any of those jobs into careers if I wanted to. However, besides working in my college scene shop and at a theater after college I knew they would be just jobs. I would not build a career around cleaning kennels or canvasing for a non-profit campaign.

Each of the very different jobs helped my journey. I learned lessons in each role I performed. The lessons ranged from learning what a toxic environment looks like to how I could truly motivate and support people.

Each job and role brought me down my life’s path and gave me experiences I can use in my art.

For years I thought I was starting my journey too late. I was behind in life and failing at being on my path. I was looking at my life and saying it wasn’t enough. In my mind I was stationary and stuck.

I now see I was always on my path; moving along in my life. I’m not behind in anything, because there are no markers for my life. I cannot compare my journey to anyone else’s or even my imaginary milestones, because that has nothing to do with my life or journey.

If I had different life experience my art would be different; my life would be different. I would be different.

If we all were on the same path expressing your heart and soul through art would be pointless. It would all be the same and devalue art itself. Even if only artist had the same path and learned the same things at the same time art would then loose something important.

It is because we are all on our own individual journeys that sharing our stories is important. We are telling people they are not alone in creative ways. Artists also show their audiences that it is okay to be different. You can still connect with people even if you’re odd.

All that to say, I now know the value of my struggle to claim my art and life. I now know the pleasure of readying myself to be a full time professional artist, because I’ve known all the other types of jobs I could fall into.

I’m ready for my creative career and that is a leap dreamward bound.