A Sunday Afternoon's DreamWard Bound

successAlthough I typically try to write these on Saturdays, I had no motivation to do anything yesterday. I also did not feel like I was dreamward bound. I basically was a Debby downer for myself and the worst part is that I gave into it. I gave into the lack of energy, lack of motivation, and lack of belief in myself.

It is a good thing that today is a new day. Today I am focusing on the fact that I live among people who love me and support me. I actually did a bunch of creative things this week and did editing work on my novel.

I am over due to revise my goals, which may be the reason for the feeling that I am not heading towards my dreams and my dream life. I am happy with my life for the most part, I just know that it could be better in some areas. More and more I realize one area that could improve is my work life. I would love to just write, paint, and act all day long. I am a far way off from that life though. I just need to keep working on my artistic skills and be open to share my art with the world. One day I will be living my dream life and when that day comes all this struggling getting there will be worth it.

Reviewing and revising my goals will be helpful in that it will remind me of my dreams and where I actually want to be in my life. Revising my goals is something to do after I publish this post, though.

I mean I don’t have much else to say, except this week felt a little crazy. It was all work and being a busy bee type of things. Nothing too interesting in the details of the week.

I guess I can finish this post and go revise the goals. I will leave you with the list of things I did this week.

Asking a question and then ramblings about Love (A Vlog )

Telling My Dream 

Where I write

Friendship (A Poem)

Weekly Writing Prompt

 

 

Here Is A DreamWard Bound Post

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Hello, reader.  I am yet again writing this later than I like. I blame the wonderful naps I took and the events I had this weekend. It started with 2 BJJ classes on Friday after work, which I followed by sushi, ice-cream, and a movie. The movie was with friends, but the sushi and ice-cream was some apparently needed me-time. It was really great to do what I wanted and enjoy spending time out and about with no one else.

On Saturday I had another BJJ class, so I’m kind of sore. I then got ready as fast I could and went to a The Gravity’s show. It was a great show and the band rocked it. The band is filled with talent musician and if you can ever listen to their stuff (cover songs) I suggest you do. Plus, they know how to be performers, so seeing one of their shows is always fun. After that fun show and having class I opened this post to write this but got as far as adding the picture before realizing I needed a nap.

Today I went to church, served, and then out for a sushi lunch with friends. Lunch was followed by another nap. I woke up and did not want to get out of bed, so now I’m writing this post around dinner time. Still, I am writing this post and that is all that really matters.

Of course, now I cannot remember what I did this week. This weekend totally erased last week I guess, which is good. I will start this coming week refreshed and with a clean slate.

I do know that between eating right and having 2.5 hours of BJJ on Friday I am on the downward trend with my weight. I started at 183 and now am at 176.

I am also listening to at least Air1 at least going to my carpool, which is my 10 minutes of listening/ learning about God. This week since I am driving in by myself I do plan on listening to audio books for the 45 minute (or more) drive.

As for my goal about posting 5 times a week, well I haven’t found the right schedule for that. Also it seems like I need to make a new deadline for my second draft completion for my novel. I just haven’t been able to sit and write or edit these past weeks. This is why they are goals though. I am working towards getting my second draft done and writing 5 creative posts a week.

I did write some this week, so here are the posts.

Weekly Writing prompt

Over 3/4th of the way to 100

Why Do I  Love You?

I hope you enjoy my writing.

DreamWard Bound like always.

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I actually am not always dreamward bound. Some days I don’t even think about my goals. However, I feel most like myself when I am. If I have a goal, a plan and a schedule I am happiest. That is why I am happily writing this post.

I at least feel like this week went real well. I revised my goals early in the week and revised my schedule last weekend. I didn’t make every goal and did change one midweek. Still I worked towards my goals.

I should tell you what my new goals are now, before I tell you how I did with them. It might make sense to you if I told you the aim before telling you how close or far I came to the target.

My first goal is to finish my second draft of my novel by May 3rd. This has been my goal for almost a year now. I just kept saying it was a priority but not really acting like it was. I kept writing blog posts and poems. I did not actually give most of my time to it. Now I will. I have my schedule worked out, so that I am editing more. I am also going to take most of next weekend, if not all of it, and dedicate it to getting the novel done. I may even rent a hotel room in order for fewer distractions.

My next goal is the one that I actually revise twice this week. First I was going to try to read the Bible within a year again. The trouble I found with that was that I actually did not pick up the Bible. It was too scary and big of a challenge. I decided it was best to change it. I wanted to focus on God, but actually focus on learning and not just reading. If I stuck with reading the Bible within a year I would not be focusing on learning about God. I would only focus on reading and reading fast enough. It would be come a chore like it had in the past and not  a joy and learning experience. So, I changed my goal to taking 10 minutes a day to learn about God. I will either pray for 10 minutes or listen to some audiobook, podcast or sermon. I may also read a book or a chapter in the Bible. This gives me more options and is not as big as a project.  After a month I will increase the amount of time I spend learning about God.

After that the next important goal is my weight/ health goal. I want to lose 30lbs by the start of next year. The main reason I want to lose this weight is to make jiu-jitsu easier and if I do compete I won’t be in the heavyweight division if I lose the 30lbs. Honestly, though I am not sure if I will end up losing 30 pounds. I want muscle and having muscle is more important to me than weighing less, so if I lose a bunch of weight and realize that I am losing muscle I’ll stop. Right now though, I want to lose 30lbs.

This goal is followed by my creative writing goal. I  want to get back up to writing 5 creative posts a week. This will include my weekly writing prompt, but I will also try to actually use the writing prompts to write more posts. That was the idea for the weekly writing prompts to start with. It was going to be inspiration for the next posts. I got busy though and my schedule was just not allowing for me to write. I want to start writing more, again. That is why my goal will be to get up to 5 posts a week, well 6 if you count my DreamWard bound posts.

Finally my last goal is to read a book a month and I mean really read. I am not going to count audio books as reading. At least I won’t count them at this time. Maybe in the future my ideas will change, but for now I want to actually read a book a month. I mean I have a years worth of real hard copies of books and even more e-books. The main focus for this goal though is to expand my knowledge base, get inspiration and learn about different author’s voices.

I think these goals will be a good mix of challenging and fun to do. I am looking forward to accomplishing them and letting you know how I am doing with them every week.

A New DreamWard Bound Post

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This week was a good week. I posted a few extra poems this week and wasn’t too stressed at work. I also planned out my normal weeks today. I am slowly getting back on track with being productive. I am also going to sit down, either today or tomorrow, and look at my goals. I need to take time to actually look at my goals and decide how I what I want my goals to be.  Time is a resource that I am lacking these days.

On another note, I am seeing improvements with my Brazilian Jiu Jitsu skills. This is funny to say, since I am a white belt, which means I have every little skills. Yet, I am improving. I can do things I haven’t been able to do and learning how to move my body and my partners body in order to get submissions or escapes. I know I’m still far from my blue belt, but it’s a journey and I can seeing the steps I’m taking moving me towards the first goals.

That is really all I have to say about my week. I did not do anything too excited, so I will leave you with my list of things I wrote.

Pairs Of Two

A Needed Poem

Weekly Writing Prompt 

Another DreamWard Bound

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Right now, it is hard for me to recap this week as far as it goes in my journey towards my dreams and life goals. Instead of going into my goals, like I did last week I will simply recap what I did this pass week.

I had Monday off from work,so I did write a little and got to chapter 2 in editing my book. Only being on chapter 2 might seem like I’ve not been doing anything with the book. As I am writing it down I am having that thought at least. I’ve been working on this book for over a year. I think it is actually closer to two years since I started writing it.I should be further along right? Well I did do a full sweep a while back and took notes on a few chapters. There is also an outline of the full series and notes on characters, races and the town. So, as you can see I have worked on it. Of course, I am also a procrastinator and that has come into play with my editing. Still, I am working on the book, it is just slow going.

On Monday I was also able to write 2 post which meant  I met my new blog goal for the week. I actually posted 3 posts last week, which I am happy about. Before the new year I would be beating myself up, feeling guilty, and not happy that I only got 3 posts, with one of them being a DreamWard Bound post. Now, I am smiling though. I got 3 posts out to the public.

On Monday I also went to my BJJ class and hung out with my friends after class. It was a full yet relaxing day off.

When Tuesday came around I had to go back to work. I drove over the hill with my friends, but listened to my podcast, which is a goal of mine to do. I also had a Bible study after work.

Wednesday was work and hanging out for dinner with a few friends.

Thursday I led my improv class after work.

Friday was my nerd night, which ran long since it was our last D&D for  a while, since our game master is living in Ireland now.

This, Saturday, morning I went to another BJJ class then had lunch at the Windmill, which is my favorite cafe. I then took a walk on the beach, did laundry and took a nap. Now I am writing this post trying to sit in a way that my soreness from the class does not affect me too much. It was a great class to say the least.

Here are the links to the two posts I wrote after the last DreamWard Bound post.

Weekly Writing Prompt

The Bagel Love Affair.

Realization

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I’m realizing I want to be an actor, but I cannot not be an author. I will write even if no one reads. I will create stories even if a pen and paper are not near. Characters come into my mind and I see stories without trying. The only real hard part with writing is getting everything written so that others can understand the things I find beautiful.

That is why this year I will be focusing on my writing. I will still try to post videos, but acting and media will be on the C/ last tier of goals. Writing either this blogs or my novel will be A/ first tier and the most important goals this year.

I want to get this draft done and polish my novel up to get editors or friends to give me their input. Plus, the deadline for this draft that I set for myself is fast approaching.

As it stands now God and my family (both blood and tribe) are the two most important things.  I’m going to be trying to find different more effective ways to connect with them this year and build stronger relationships. I haven’t written that down all nicely, though.

Next will be my Novel, which means I may not get all five posts published every week. I will try hard to do that, but my main focus will be the whole reason why I write as much as I do. I want to get better and get a book I wrote into readers hands. I don’t care about having a publisher’s stamp of approval now. I just want people to read my stuff.

And I would love people to read my book. I love the story and characters. I just hope the people who will read the book, well books (it is a series), will love them just as much. I mean I see them so clearly and the story is so real to me, but I’m still making it readable and well written.

Well, that was a bit of a ramble.  Basically what I’m saying is I will be writing more and acting less. Acting will go on the back burner until I finish editing my book. I need to focus on one dream/ goal at a time.

DreamWard Bound (Or The Fight Found Within Me)

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This was a good week. I may have not made a lot of head way with my goals and did not post five creative posts, but I did make a break through. A switch occurred in my mind this week. I did not realize it until I was at the gym today. I found the reason for why I want to work so hard to get to a different life. I learned something that seems at least deep to myself about myself.

The reason why I push myself and why I am dreamward bound is because I am fighting the little nagging voice inside me. The whisper in the back of my head that is saying, “You can’t. You are not smart enough. You are not good enough. You are not strong enough. You don’t really have talent.”

I also realized this week that this is the same voice that whispered to me through out my life. It whispered that I could not be a real artist, and I listened. It told me that I would easily blend into the background, so I let myself. This whispering voice told me that I was not good enough for all my dreams and I believed it.

Well, I started this blog and started to quiet that voice. I didn’t realize it at the time, but with every painting, every post, and every video I slowly started to not believe the part of me that said I couldn’t. Little by little I realized I am an artist and I am who I am. I also realized that I can do anything I want, because it may be hard but everything worthy of having takes something.

This week I realized that I stopped believing in the “no’s” my mind was whispering to me and started to prove them wrong.

The “I’m not smart enough” has turned into, “I will train my mind until I am.”

The “I am not creative enough,” has turned into a laugh, a smile and me telling myself, “Oh, yeah, sure. Watch this.”

The “I can’t”  has turned into “Watch me.”

Finally, the “I’m not strong enough,” whisper that has haunted me for so long has turned into, “Shut up, I’ll be strong enough.”

Basically, I am not going to live by the negative voice in my mind any more. I am done putting myself down because I try to lift everyone else up. I can see the amazing possibilities in everyone else up. Why shouldn’t I see that in myself?

All this said, I am hoping that you will see a different side of me. One with more energy and more conviction. I know that my main fight is not getting paid for my art, but being satisfied with it and using each piece to be better than the one before it. My fight now won’t be against the world, people, or status. It will be against myself from yesterday.

Basically I am taking one of my tips from my goal getter’s channel and applying it with super energy. I am going to focus on my behavior and actions, not the world.

Now that I got all that out, here is all the things I posted this week.

All The Steps To Achieving Your Goal (video from last Saturday)

Here I Stand (Video)

Travelling Bagel (micro Fiction)

Rush (Poem)

Can’t Hold Me Down (Poem)

Control of My Brain (Creative Ramblings)

 

DreamWard Bound (November 22, 2014)

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I want to start this post off with some sort of creative and intriguing statement that will almost force you to continue reading. However, I am already writing this late and have a bunch of other things to do. I mostly am just excited to be editing today. I am putting aside all my excuses and reasons not to edit my novel. I am just going to sit down and edit it, once my to do list is done.

That being said, let’s get into what I did this week. First I revised my goals. I took off the painting goal and the Goal Getters goal. I took off the painting goal, because like I said in another post I want painting to be unforced and from my heart. I don’t want to have any pressure to paint.

I took off the Goal Getters goal, because I finished the steps and realized I was not getting the reaction I wanted. I will continue to post short videos on that and redo the steps. I am planning on recording another version of my steps and having it all be one video. I also took it off so that I can feel comfortable either adding more videos each week or less. If I don’t have a tip I won’t need to come up with it.

I also revised my reading and instead of reading the Bible in a year I am going to focus on just reading the Bible. Basically, I broke down this goal and made the “I will read the Bible in a year” goal the end goal. I realized I needed to take other steps to achieve that. The first step will be to read a book in the Bible in a month. That is more manageable for me now.

My goal about getting better family communication is still there. It is exactly the same, except I added a weekly reminder. Also, my acting goal is the same. I am almost there and I am excited to be almost to the point where I can schedule an acting coach. I will be really happy to figure out where I can go from here and what a professional thinks.

I did change-up my creative writing goal. One thing I changed is that it is now officially all creative writing posts, not just poems. I also made an end goal. After 85 posts with 5 likes or more I will start to make another book focused on poetry, but with short stories thrown in there too. I do have one poetry book out there already. It is on the shorter side and I found with publishing it you need at least 85 pages in order for it to be available to publish in a hard copy with Lulu. Once I have the 85 creative writing things I will edit, polish, and basically create even better poems from them. I will also try to add more content that explains the poetry or short stories, so you will not just be buying my blog. I do want it to be different and worth your money.

As for my other goals, I changed the deadline for my weight loss and moved it down the list of importance. I still want to lose weight and reach that goal, but it’s not as important as my creative career.

My last goal is my novel which is exactly the same. I just freed up a few goal slots so should actually be able to do it, now.

Other stuff I did this week was write five posts, publish 2 tip videos, and a reading video to my creative channel. Here is the list of all that stuff.

Tip: Plan your week (video)

Tip: focus on your behavior (video)

Reading of Proverbs 31 (video)

Bring Down The Storm (poem)

If I See You (poem)

To The Beach 

Here I Stand (monologue)

Timed (poem)

I love when I post more than one thing a day. Also stay tuned because I will be posting more tips on my Goal Getters channel, today.

 

DreamWard Bound for November 8, 2014

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Warning: This post is fulled with a lot of excuses, but there is also some happy things in it too.

I hit the wall this week with my schedule. Last Saturday I only did the week’s DreamWard Bound post. I thought I would do some video recording on Sunday, but when it came around I did not feel well. This caused me not to get a monologue recorded for last week.  On Monday I realized I need to re-record step 7 of the goal achieving videos, so was unable to post it. I also was still not feeling great on Monday, so took a nap before writing. Tuesday should have been a day of recording but I just could not bring myself to setting up so I wrote more. I guess I just needed a week devoted to writing.

I also did not go to the gym at all this past week. I don’t really have a good reason or even an excuse for that. I just was so unmotivated that I did not go. I am now wishing I kept going to the gym, because it’s starting to be harder and harder to go. I have forgotten how great my body feels after and how much healthier I felt. It’s been two weeks and already I am forgetting why I go. This also makes it hard to eat right, because my brain goes why bother. I will be going to the gym after I finish this post, which I keep getting distracted away from.

Now on to the no excuse good part of this blog.

I am realizing more and more that I may not be able to do everything every day or every week, but that does not mean I will do nothing. Having my goals are great and I believe I have come far with what I do and how much I do, still I have to remember that I also have a full-time job, friends, and an adult life that will all take time away from my creative self. This is the life I am living now and I have to be flexible with somethings. Also, I shouldn’t beat myself up or put myself down because I didn’t have a twelve or thirteen hour day.

You see when I have my creative days, during the week, I wake up around 5:45 am , get ready, and go to work. After work I usually will  go to the gym (unless it was the last two weeks) then have a quick dinner, which most of the time I eat at my desk while I work. I will then write or edit my videos until at least 9 pm. If I am editing videos I will most likely stay working until 10:30 and then go straight to bed. This makes for a crazy work focused life, but honestly I do enjoy working that much. If I didn’t I would never make it the industry that I actually want to be a part of.

I know that one day I will wake up at 5:45 go to work and come home around 9 or 10 pm. The major difference being that the work will be what I love doing. I will have a creative career one day, but I am not there yet. I do see the journey and the benefits of all these long days and determined attitude. I am happy to do the grunt work that no one in the industry sees, so that I can be better and know more when they do see what I want them to see.

I believe that is all I have to say about my week, so here is the shorter list of the things I did this week.

I Am A Bagel (short story)

A Writing Experiment on Nothing 

Give me Happiness (a poem)

My Future (a poem)

Dream For You (A poem)

How Does My Marketing Show My Uniqueness? (A video)

 

A Reflective Upper Post

encouragement

You know the last DreamWard Bound post I wrote about how this past week was rough for me. I was not that happy while writing it because on paper, or at least the part of the paper that I was looking at,  it was not a good. I believe most of it was because I just needed to completely turn off my brain for three hours, which I did on Sunday.

After my major nap I realized a few important details that my brain left out. During this last month I have met some milestones. I am in the double digits with my creative YouTube channel. My Facebook page reached 50 likes.  I have had the most views ever on this blog for the month. Also, the last milestone is one that I am super excited. I haven’t reached it yet, but I am so close it’s worth mentioning. This blog will reach it’s 2,000th view in 8 views. It may have reached it since I’ve written this, but since I am publishing this in the morning, who knows.

The point is both my channel and my blog are growing. They both are getting some traction, so although it is rough at times it’s worth it. I am so happy that I am writing, creating, and learning about how far I can push myself. Even more, I am super thrilled that there are people out there reading and watching my work.

You reading, you are great and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is because of you and the others who have found me that I am reaching milestones. I mean I am not the one viewing my blog 2,000 times or watching the videos I upload, at least not every day or in a way that it counts.