I’ll keep this short and sweet. I just finished updating my acting resume. It is a little step towards my dreams, but a needed one.
3/20 to 3/27 (dreamward bound)
This past week jumbled me up, twisted my insides and spat me out more determined to succeed in my life. After months of job searching I thought my search was over last weekend and I thought that my dreams were coming true. I thought a lot of things that wound up draining me and stressing me out.
I was offered a producing job with an indie film company. I allowed my excitement flow out and did not stop to think about if it was the right match for me. They seemed like great people and wanted to help me reach my career goals. I trusted them without hesitation and it was only after the excitement wore off that I realized that, although they said they did not judge they did. They wanted to change me into what they thought was best. I do not fit into their art scene and do not believe in their project, so I had to end my interactions with them. I had to go back on my word, which I did not want to do.
That being said, I learned a lot through this crash course. The biggest thing I learned is that I have to speak up and be confident. I know who I am, what I know and where I want to go. I do not want to hide who I am just for false success, because even if I was able to make it as an actor/ producer with them, it would not be true success. If I was to work with them I would have to change who I was or lie about myself. Although, I still have a long way to go to succeed in my career I have come too far in becoming who I am to lose myself to people who I just met.
Another thing I learned was that sometimes it is more courageous to take a step back than to keep going forward. I could have gone and worked with these people. I could have allowed them into my life and teach me everything they know. I could have jumped into my dreams, but I didn’t. I took a step back and trusted that there are people out there that see me as a great person, exactly how I am. I trusted that God had a better, more stable plan for me. Yesterday I was given a stable job at a photo lab, no it’s not my dream job, but it is a paycheck. I also have a great idea for an easy first film that I will write and produce myself with my friends.
I also realized after that I accepted the job without knowing anything about them. When they said they were in “this” business for a life time, they meant art not film. They were only starting in on the film business. I also did not read the script, which I realized lacked in personality. These mistakes I made, made me learn that accepting a job with out knowing all the facts is the greatest mistake I could have made. Now that I know that I will not be making that mistake again.
To summarize this whole thing I wrote a list of the things I learned:
- I am very trusting and open.
- I need to make sure I am 100% and read the script before accepting any job.
- Following my heart may be hard but it is necessary .
- I have a great support system.
- Being brave and courageous isn’t always taking a step forward; sometimes it’s staying still and letting a taxi go by because you know there is a limo.
No Mold
Oh sad and crumpling world
where the non-judgmental judge,
where those who fight for the future
live in the past,
and where beauty is
as fragile as a single word.
What a poor pitiful world
where beauty and art
can only be seen striped of dignity,
where nonconformist conforms,
and integrity is torn from away from morals.
What a sad, sad world
where one shouts, “Be who you are,”
as they push you into a mold.
Can you not see my beauty?
do you not understand my soul?
I am not simply a body.
I do not need your mold.
Yes, what a sad, pitiful, crumpling world.
It is a world that breaks my very being,
so I will walk away.
I will continue to stand where others will fall.
I will see the beauty in dignity,
art in the unmodified,
and be at peace,
because I do not judge those who judge
do not condemn those who condemn
and love all.
Dreamward bound
I always day-dream, dream and wish to have my art be my career. I have taken steps to do so in my writing and painting, but it seems harder for my acting. I love entertaining people, just as much as I love writing and painting, but acting takes more people to pull off. I mean I have tried to do a show by myself (In My Mind {a note about In My Mind: it was supposed to ridiculous and bad comedy.}), but that did not really work.
(Note: In My Mind was removed from YouTube due to my change in focus)
I am hoping to find auditions, but it seems like I don’t know where to look, so I have decided to write to talent agencies, with a “let’s see what happens” attitude. My first letter that I emailed out is below.
Dear Talent Agency,
I am an actor, author, and artist looking for work as a background actor or small role acting roles in either commercials or television. I found your agency while researching local casting calls and talent agencies. I am serious about living my life and part of that is becoming a full-time actor. My hopes in contacting you is that you see my passion, dedication, and determination towards acting, and agree to discuss representing me.
My fast details:
Name, Age: Tiffany Joy
Height, Measurements, Sizes: 5’7″, 160 lbs, 34D size 10 dress/ 12 pants.
Hair & Eye color: blonde hair, blue eyes
Phone number & Address:************
I am trying to make acting my main career and will take any size role, because I understand that I have a long way to go. I grew up in the theater since I was 5 years old and now hold a Bachelor’s in Theater and Dance with a concentration in Acting/ Directing, so I comprehend the difficulties of the entertainment business. I have filled almost every role there is to fill in the theater including stage manager, director, scene shop technician, technical director and many more roles. Since graduating high school, I have tried to stray away from acting, but nothing makes me happier than acting. Now I give up trying to stay away and would like to act on film.
I was first trained in dance, starting when I was 5 years old. Once I turned 10 years old I started to act in musicals. In high school I formed and helped run my school’s drama club, while acting in the short plays. In college I tried my hand as a technician, but majored in acting. During this long training process I wound up being in 24 musicals, 4 plays, 2 cabarets, and an extra in 1 film. I am also involved with an improvisational group, which meets weekly.
I have attached my acting resume, 2 head-shots, and a full body shot to this email. However, you can also see examples of my work, including my other art forms, at tiffanyjoy.net. If you have any questions, please, email me at tiffany@tiffanyjoy.net or call me at *******. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Tiffany Joy.
TiffanyJoy.net
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What do you think? Would you consider representing me if you were an agent?
For you
Like a roaring river caught,
Like a devastating storm stopped,
Like a burning fire in a jar,
my soul was for you.
You released the flood waters of my heart
You control the storm inside my mind.
And you tell me how to burn.
You show me your way.
You show me my way to you Lord.
You open my heart,
you unlock my mind,
and free my soul,
all so that I can love you more.
Let me pour out for you
so that you can fill me up again.
Let me be emptied by you
so that I know where I stand.
Lord, your the lover of my soul;
the only one worth living for.
I was a roaring river caught
and you unleashed me,
for your glory.
I was a devastating storm,
to my own being,
but you calm the rage
that laid deep inside of me.
I was a spark in the night
before you showed me how to burn;
now I burn for you.
only for you, Lord.
Now I live for you
only for you, Lord.
Life's poem
Life pushes,
it pulls;
whirls and rushes
like a dance
every step wishes
changing and turning.
Switching the rules
swapping the characters
redirecting the plot.
Once settled it’s time to rush and whirl
Time to chase another dream
find another way
wish for another day
because why live one life
when you can dream up twenty?
The world and my path (a poem)
In the noise of the world
how do you quiet your soul
to listen to where you belong
to what you need?
With the world whirling around you
how do you stand still
to see your path
to trust your feet?
When the world whirls and shouts to conform
how do you stand apart,
how do you go down a path less traveled?
Be silent and I will tell you,
because every life has a quiet spot,
amidst every storm there is a tree to hold on to.
And you trust your feet
when you hold the hand of another who believes
in the path you walk down
in the life you live.
You see life is loud
but you can find quiet.
Life is a storm
but there is sunshine.
And living life is a journey
but worth it.
broken strength
I whisper stay steady
because I was told to stay strong.
With all the world pushing me down
I stay steady.
When I’m weak, I’m told to stay strong.
When I’m broken, I’m told to hold on,
because the world does not see
because I am free.
I can be strong in my weakness
I can hold on when everything is broken.
And I will walk when my path is dark.
Please
Open my heart to hear;
unlock my mind to see.
Teach me how to walk
into your arms of grace.
Show me how to listen,
to your voice of truth.
Give me a lesson to learn
and a dream to follow.
Let me follow you
and always be my Lord.
God is
Some times I feel like I have a super power and it’s God. Although I have never lifted a car, or ran faster than a train I can see things people can not. I see hope in the darkness and hurt in anger. I can see where I go wrong and the way out of pain. I know that anger in the darkness and past wrongs will never keep me or anyone from God’s love. He uses all things for his good plan.
Yes it does seem like God is so far away when you first start looking at him. He is an unreachable, unthinkable entity that some think can not exist. Once you start to learn and have an actual relationship with him God comes in focus. He is the light that can guide a life to completely change even if outsiders can not see. God is the love that the world is searching for in darkness. He can be any one’s everything. But most importantly to know is that God is.
God is not a past fantasy once believed in. God is not just written in a book. God is the unexpected kindness from a stranger. He is a father’s love and a friend’s helping hand. God is love and light. He is a father to all who seek and a provider for his children. God is the builder and creator of all things. God is love. Most importantly, God is.
Yes my super power is the fact that I know that God is.