My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool

My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool

One of my sisters has a tattoo machine and has tattooed herself a few times with it. She isn’t looking to change careers; she is happy being a nurse. The machine was her husband’s before he passed last year. The first tattoos she gave herself was ones that reminded her of him.

Well, in August I went on a vacation with my family. In between the actual vacation and my flight, I stayed at her house. This was so she could tattoo me. The original idea was a simple tree on the inside of my upper arm. It would be a remembrance tattoo for my brother who passed last year. (Yes, there were multiple deaths in my family in August 2019.) As we discussed it she mentioned that it would be the first tattoo she gave someone else. It was quickly decided we would start with an easier and less painful tattoo.

Now, it wasn’t like I just came up with my new tattoo on the vacation. I have a list of tattoos I want to get. My “love boldly” tattoo was just going to be after Chris’s tree. However, things didn’t work out that way and I got “love boldly” before the tree.

When I first painted this symbol something clicked, as though my eyes opened in a new way. This is what I need to remind myself daily. This is what I need to focus on. I need to love boldly. For me, that means to love without fear or holding back. Jesus loved the world boldly and I should try to imitate Jesus, right?

My “love boldly” symbol gives me permission in a way to free myself from myself and just love those around me. It reminds me that sometimes I need to get out of my own way and just help people or love them in whatever way they need it. Now it’s on my arm, so I guess I have to make sure I’m always boldly loving those around me. What a wonderful tool.

My Wonderful New Tattoo And Tool
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Meeting Mormons

I met 3 Mormon missionaries during my layover in LA, while I was going to Virginia on my family vacation. They were going home after being on a mission for 2 years in LA. I wasn’t going to talk to them. I figured that since… well they are Mormons and that seems like a large ritualistic church with unfamiliar believes.

Still I did talk to them and it was a good conversation. We talked about how Jesus is Lord and savior, the importance of the Bible and relationship verses  religious rules.

We even talked about what is done during their missions and what I’ve done when I went on a mission trip.

At first it seemed like we were trying to convert each  other and explain how our way of doing it was better. LEaving though I realized that as long as our hearts are pointing towards a growing relationship with God, focus on learning the Bible and believe we cannot save ourselves (it takes the creator to fix his broken creation) then isn’t that the same? I know there are differences and I know they have an entirely other book that they use, but talking with them it seemed like a weird addition.

They did give me a copy of the Book of Mormon and I am going to at least look through it. If I find anything that pulls me away from my relationship with Jesus then I will put the book down and write about it.

Don’t worry though Jesus and God’s love comes first.

I am curious to learn what they believe and how it differs from only believing and reading the Bible.

After they boarded their flight I had a bunch of other questions for them. I might as well ask them here right?

1.)Sister Scott mentioned that she was raised and taught by her church and prayed for a relationship with God. It appeared to me that it seemed like a struggle of conformity and not a desire for relationship. My question to the 3 I meant is: Have you met or know of anyone who felt like God was pursuing them?

2.)This actually ties into question 1. While on the mission trip did you see any fruits, such as someone converting/ choosing a life focused on Jesus, a growing sense of peace, patience, love, kindness, or self-control?

3.)Going off the mission trip question. How does your life at home differ from being on the mission field? Do you act/ behave the same and still focus on the mission to grow your relationship with Jesus and become like him?

4.) Is a 2 year mission trip a mandate for a system within the Mormon church or just appears to be? Also, is the placement forced or if you feel led to a certain area of the world can you set up a mission trip there?

5.) Finally, Why was it sister Scott and elder Hash (I think that was one of the names)? Shouldn’t both genders be elders or men be brothers?

Please, know that I am asking out of curiosity and because the questions came to me after our conversation. That being said I hope you read the questions and write-up as a loving pondering from a human that does not know Mormonism, but  does loves the God of the Bible.

UPDATE: Okay, so I didn’t even publish this, but instead of re-writing everything I will put this note down here. I had given the missionaries my card, because sister Scott and the elders seemed pretty cool. I was thinking that we would have an open conversation or at least an email. My card also has my website on it, so hey maybe one of them would read it or look at least. Instead I guess she gave it to someone at her church. My curiosity was smashed by that. That made it seem like I was actually just a number to her. I did not give her permission to give my number away and that erased the good conversation about relationships. It also makes the Mormon church look like a machine rather than a place where relationships are important.

I am still curious about my questions though, so if any one knows any answers please let me know. If not, oh well.

Tomorrow’s post will be about how I do church and my church, that I love and never feel like a number.

A Scene inspired by Supernatural

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I am sure most of you will think this is fan fiction and guess what it is. I usually force myself to find my own story and really only be inspired by the television, movies or books I fall in love with. It has been a while though and I think it works best as fan fiction. If you don’t enjoy this little scene, I am sorry, I will go back to my poetry and original stories tomorrow. Today I am being a little fan girl.

Also if you are a fan of Supernatural reading this let me know what you think. I hope you are not expecting a script though, because script formatting is not how my brain thinks for the first draft on paper.

The scene opens with Sam and Dean standing in the bunker’s library area. Sam has an old book in his hand and there is a door drawn on one of the brick walls. Both of the boys are staring at the wall.

After a moment Dean states, “I thought you said it would work.”

Sam responses with, “Just give it a minute.”

As soon as Sam’s words are spoken there is a crash and burst off. The chalk door on the wall flashes like a bright strobe light three times and then all is dark again for split second. The lights come back on and there is a woman, almost as tall as the boys, clothed in every imaginable weapon. She has two large pistols drawn and pointed at the guys.

As soon as the three of them see each other, the woman swings around looking for any danger. When she sees all is  cleared she lowers her guns. “What the heck and how did you do that?”

Uncertain of what to say the two brothers look at each other before Sam answers, “We needed help and was actually thinking we would be summoning some one else.”

Sam’s remark noticeably offends the woman, “Of course you did.” She starts to point one of her pistols at Sam as she talks and tells him, “Well if you are all-powerful now, you can send me back, reverse your stupid summoning ritual. I have a vampire werewolf hybrid to kill.”

Dean smirks and says, “Hey lady, how about you calm down. We’re hunting the same thing. We should hunt it together.”

The woman now is pissed off, “Hey lady?”She starts to aggressively advance to Dean, “Hey lady?! Really Dean, do you want to be shot?”

Sam goes to his brother’s side and calmly tells her, “He meant nothing by it. We are just trying to hunt the same thing.”

Now both guns are pointed at the brothers, “Let me get this straight, you are hunting a vampire werewolf and decided not to call me on my phone to tell me that you now believe me. No, instead of admitting, once again that I was right, you decide,” She looks around to where she came from, “You decide to create a summoning door to summon someone else to hunt my monster?! Well, sorry if I am not happy when you two basically tell me I’m crazy and to go fight it myself then I get yanked back to the bunker when I am mid-fight.”

The two brothers stare at her as she waits for one of them to say something, anything. She waits to strike again. The boys just stand there confused, so she finally shouts, “Really. you’re going to just stand there and act dumb.”

“We’re not acting, so how about you put the guns down and explain from the top what you’re talking about.”

“Shove it, bitch.” The girl says and holsters her guns. She turns while walking towards the tables. The boys slowly follows. She sits on the table while the guys swing chairs around to sit down. She takes a deep breath. “Okay what were you actually summoning for?”

“Help, we need help with the vampire,” Sam started and corrected himself when he saw the woman’s clenched jaw, “with your monster.”

“And why didn’t you just call me, you knew I was on my way to fight it. Why didn’t you just let me in on your penis party?” The woman said and waited for a retort.

She childishly mouthed along with Dean, “It wasn’t a penis party.” Dean was a little taken back by her knowing what he would say. “Who are you?”

“Dean, now is not the time to play that game. You know ever since we were kids it was you two and dad training, while I was stuck with mom, grandpa and the books. Just answer my question. What happened to the phone saying, we’re idjits come back, so we can fight it together.”

Sam looked at her just as puzzled as Dean was. Sam asked her, “Who do you think we are?”

The woman who was not amused told them, “Seriously, I am not in the mood for games. If you made a summoning door just to grab me from a fight tell me and we’ll move on. I’ll moved out, but we’ll move on.”

The woman stood up and readied her self to leave or for one of the guys to stop her. It was Sam who spoke as she stood, “Our mom died when I was six months old.”

“Sammy, that is not funny.  You’re twisted.” She turned to walk out of the bunker, but before she could take a step she saw Castiel standing. “What?” She asked as she quickly rushed to take off her weapons. “How?” The sword that was hanging on her back was the first to leave her body, then the holsters with the two large guns, then the belt with assorted knives and two smaller guns. “I thought.” Next was the long sword that was around her waist along with the two sais that were strapped to her thighs. “We all thought you were.” She unwrapped throwing knives from her calves and then stood up. “There no more weapons.” She walked over to Castiel still rushed and without thinking hugged him tightly, “We all thought you were gone.”

When Castiel did not embrace her as tightly as she did, the woman pulled away. “Cas? What?”

“I am sorry, do I know you?”

The statement visibly hurt the woman. “Cas, look into my eyes and please tell me you know who I am?”

Castiel did as he was told, but could not lie. He could see that she wanted him to know who she was, but he did not, “I am sorry. I do not know who you are.”

“But you know them?”

Castiel nodded and the woman returned to her spot on the table severely defeated. “Guys, no joking, do you know who I am?”

Dean shook his head and Sam whispered, “No, do not.”

The woman kept her eyes down”Are you two the sons of John and Mary Winchester?”

Sam again answered for both of the brothers, “Yes.”

She looked up at Sam and asked, “Did you ever have a sister?”

“No, our mother died when I was six months old.”

With pain filled eyes she asked, “What killed her?”

Dean answered, “The yellow eyed demon.”

“The yellow eye demon? How dad tells.” She paused before correcting herself, “How my dad tells the story he was hardly a hunt. I mean it got Grandpa Samuel, but that was how dad told mom that he was a man of letters and how dad found out mom was a hunter. It was their first hunt together.”

“Your dad was a man of letters?” Sam asked.

“Your’s wasn’t?” She asked.

Sam told her, “Our grandfather, Henry, died before he could tell our dad. “

“Was it when he time traveled to the future to fight Abaddon?”

Dean looked at her, “How did you know?”

“Because you two jerks told me to wait in the car. You said it was too dangerous and you did not need me. I didn’t listen and killed that bitch. Grandpa went home and told dad to name me after him.”

Dean paused and asked”Wait what’s your name?”

“Henrietta.”

“How old are you?” Sam asked.

“27.”

Sam smiled and told Dean, “Mom lived for another four years.”

“My mom died 10 years ago. She lived until I was 17. “

Dean asked, “How?”

Henrietta answered, “Saving our lives.” She then looked straight into Castiel’s eyes and told him, “If you’re brother is pulling anything or playing with me in any way, I will kill him.”

Sam stood up from his chair and patted Henrietta  on the knee, “I could use some coffee before we go on this hunt. Heni do you want any.”

Dean looked at Sam a little confused. Henrietta also looked at Sam but she was a little taken back, “Did you just call me Heni?”

“Yeah, I guess I did. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that is your nickname for me.”

Dean laughed and asked, “Heni, like a chicken?”

Henrietta looked at Dean with a blank face and told him one word, “Don’t.”

“So, chicken do you want coffee.”

“You know it seems like so much is different but you are still a tool.” She shook her head with a slight smile and got up. “I think I’ll need something before this hunt.” As the four of them walked  towards the kitchen she mentioned, “We can figure out what’s what while we drink.”

Castiel made sure to walk next to Henrietta and asked, “Why did you take off all your weapons before hugging me.”

“My Cas doesn’t or well didn’t like weapons. He said he came to bring guidance not violence. You would still smite any one that needed it. Honestly I just think all those weapons made it uncomfortable to get close.”

With that they leave the library area of the bunker and go to the kitchen to drink coffee while they discuss their plans to hunt a vampire werewolf hybrid. They leave figuring out Henrietta until after the murderous monster is taken care of.

 I do have a whole detailed back story for Henrietta, but if you missed the major points; Henrietta is the boys’ sister from an alternate time line or universe. In her time line their mother fights the Yellowed eyed demon when she first meets him and kills him. He kills her father, but the demon brings her and John together. John knows about hunting and supernatural things because his father never died in the battle with Abbadon. Henrietta saved him and he was able to raise john as one of the last Men of letters, which helped him help Mary fight the Yellow eyed demon. 

John and Mary raised all three of their kids as hunters and men of letters. However, John was more protective of his little girl and tried to keep her in the bunker, which had been their home for most of their. Since their father was protective of the only girl in the family the brothers were also overly protective of her. Still she did train and was actually pushed to train harder than the guys, since she had something to prove. 

Okay I can go on and on about this character. I am liking her and keep trying to put her in a story of her own, but in my mind she is so tangled up in Supernatural that I can’t.

Any ways,  This is all I can do for tonight. If you ask I will explain more or write another short story about her, but for now it is off to bed for me.

 

World Away (A letter)

 

 

 

I normally try to keep the topic of God to my other blog (Salty Light Project), but in hopes that this reaches those who are in great struggle, because of their faith and that they live in a country that does not allow them to believe in the same God that so many take for granted, I am putting this here. 

I hope you are moved by this and if you have any questions or comments, please let me know.
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Dear friends, brothers, those who live in a world far away yet pursuing the same truths. To those who are tortured and beaten because they love.

I can do little, but I will pray. I am only one person, but your story has traveled across the world to me. If I can I will help,because no matter what we are made up of the same substances. We both have skin to cover our muscles. We both have eyes to see the world and both have ears to hear the truth. If nothing else is similar we are both humans and we both deserve to love and live in the truth of the world.

I am be only one, but I have a voice and this is me saying I will pray for your bones not to break and for your heart to stay strong. I will pray your soul finds peace in the turmoil and that your spirits stay strong. They can break your bones but not your soul. They can make your life a horrible nightmare with no end, but when you wake up from the nightmare you will be in paradise. Keep that thought, friend, in your mind.

You may live through terrifying ordeals with unending pains, but the life you have to live is not your whole story. You may be broken down and even killed but as long as your soul stays firm on the firm foundation which you planted it on you, dear brother, will last forever.

Please, know that you are loved, you are strong, and you are not alone. Even if the only ones that stand by your side is a random girl across the world and God, you do not stand alone. You are being prayed for. You are strengthening my faith and my prayer life. I know it’s not much, but your strength is strengthening others. Stay strong and know you are not alone. You are being prayed for.

Sincerely,

a sister in faith.