Artist ( A Monologue)

writing

I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observes the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.

Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.

When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end  when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.

You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.

Mindless Monologue

writing

As I mindlessly stir my single serve coffee in a Styrofoam cup with a small red plastic straw I think to myself, “Do others narrate their mundane tasks, as they wait for the next event in their story to unfold? Am I odd to dream in vivid detail about meeting a famous actor who could jump-start my career in the middle of a random vacation? Do others yell from their souls, ‘notice me’ with no one hearing, because they do not actually use words.”

If only you could see into my mind you’ll know all the silly questions I ask when no one is listening. You would also see countless pictures I do not have time to paint, along with numerous stories waiting in line to be written as if each main character is waiting in a dimly lit hallway with no other door. If you could see into my mind you would also see an army of poems dancing around scripts that are also waiting to be shared with the world. Sometimes there are fights in my mind because all my stories, poems, paintings, dances, and yes scripts want to see the light of day, they want to be born into reality. However, just like everything in this world things take time to develop and be turned into reality.

So, they wait in my mind. They wait where you can not see them, just like I can not see into your mind, which is why I will continue to ask questions, write my stories, and dream my dreams that line up and pile up in my mind. Maybe when they are all out you will be able to answer the question, “is my mind normal?” Just know that if the answer is no then I will smile and say, “good.”

Until you can answer all my silly questions I will sip away my coffee and make my life more interesting via narrating the boring parts, like sitting on an airplane sipping and stirring my single serve coffee.

 

This is the last post I wrote while on vacation, from now on it will be all current writings. 

I hope you enjoyed a glimpse into my mind and thank you for reading.