Warning: This post is fulled with a lot of excuses, but there is also some happy things in it too.
I hit the wall this week with my schedule. Last Saturday I only did the week’s DreamWard Bound post. I thought I would do some video recording on Sunday, but when it came around I did not feel well. This caused me not to get a monologue recorded for last week. On Monday I realized I need to re-record step 7 of the goal achieving videos, so was unable to post it. I also was still not feeling great on Monday, so took a nap before writing. Tuesday should have been a day of recording but I just could not bring myself to setting up so I wrote more. I guess I just needed a week devoted to writing.
I also did not go to the gym at all this past week. I don’t really have a good reason or even an excuse for that. I just was so unmotivated that I did not go. I am now wishing I kept going to the gym, because it’s starting to be harder and harder to go. I have forgotten how great my body feels after and how much healthier I felt. It’s been two weeks and already I am forgetting why I go. This also makes it hard to eat right, because my brain goes why bother. I will be going to the gym after I finish this post, which I keep getting distracted away from.
Now on to the no excuse good part of this blog.
I am realizing more and more that I may not be able to do everything every day or every week, but that does not mean I will do nothing. Having my goals are great and I believe I have come far with what I do and how much I do, still I have to remember that I also have a full-time job, friends, and an adult life that will all take time away from my creative self. This is the life I am living now and I have to be flexible with somethings. Also, I shouldn’t beat myself up or put myself down because I didn’t have a twelve or thirteen hour day.
You see when I have my creative days, during the week, I wake up around 5:45 am , get ready, and go to work. After work I usually will go to the gym (unless it was the last two weeks) then have a quick dinner, which most of the time I eat at my desk while I work. I will then write or edit my videos until at least 9 pm. If I am editing videos I will most likely stay working until 10:30 and then go straight to bed. This makes for a crazy work focused life, but honestly I do enjoy working that much. If I didn’t I would never make it the industry that I actually want to be a part of.
I know that one day I will wake up at 5:45 go to work and come home around 9 or 10 pm. The major difference being that the work will be what I love doing. I will have a creative career one day, but I am not there yet. I do see the journey and the benefits of all these long days and determined attitude. I am happy to do the grunt work that no one in the industry sees, so that I can be better and know more when they do see what I want them to see.
I believe that is all I have to say about my week, so here is the shorter list of the things I did this week.
I Am A Bagel (short story)
A Writing Experiment on Nothing
Give me Happiness (a poem)
My Future (a poem)
Dream For You (A poem)