God Shows Up blog series

Christian Camp – God Shows Up

by tiffanyGod Shows UpPosted on No Comments

When I was about 10 years old I went to a Christian camp named Camp Brea and . It was a standard camp experience. We camped in cabins, there was a lake, and it was in the middle of a forest. Trees surround the majority of the camp with the exception of the lake and a long building with dirt parking spaces. There was also a chapel among the trees.

One day towards the end of camp I was in the chapel, a service must have just finished. I was alone with one adult camp counselor. She and I sat on a bench and talked about Jesus. She asked me a few questions about faith and accepting Jesus. At the time everything made sense and Jesus seemed present. She guided me through a standard prayer and then we signed a paper that I could bring home with me. It was a confession of my faith; a sign that I decided to accept Jesus into my heart.

The paper was lost, along with the memory of what happened. I returned to my life and didn’t think anything else of that summer camp. It wasn’t until I was telling my testimony, after becoming a Christian that I even remembered that there once was a paper and the memory existed.

Looking back on my life

I see where God did intervene on my behalf. I could have gone down darker paths or have horrible accidents. There was a time when I was far from him, making wrong decisions, and living a life focused on fun. It was because of those wrong decisions and impurity that I was led to California where I eventually found God again and gave my heart fully and truly to Jesus.

In the end He was with me, even if I didn’t know it. Even when my life didn’t reflect Him, He was in the background waiting.

Poetry visual image for poem

Blessed Are ( A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Blessed are the broken

for they get to be fix.

Blessed are the outcasts

for they’ll learn true love.

Blessed are the reformed hurtful

they’ll know forgiveness.

Blessed are those with a surrendered and dirty heart

they are in the Lord’s arms.

Blessed are those with clean hearts

the Lord will call them home.

Blessed are those who bless others

they will shine the Lord’s love.

Blessed are those who forgiveness

they will share the Lord’s compassion.

Blessed are you

for you are beautifully alive.

I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.

Healthy Bagel blog series

Mentally Healthy Bagel

by tiffanyHealthy Bagel, LifePosted on No Comments

I have primarily talked about physical health and my journey with weight loss. However, that is not actually the main focus of this journey. Instead of working towards a physical health goal, like weight loss. I have been trying to be mindful of the reasons behind my habits and my mindset that caused me to not be my physical best. Basically I am working on the inside out this time.

Your mind is where every action or inaction stems from, so you should pay attention and take care of it. Why am I eating what I eating? It is because some part of my brain said, “Yes, tuna fish is what you want to eat right now.” It could have very easy decided that I actually should go to the store and buy a large thing of ice-cream, but it didn’t. Looking at the reason behind your actions or inaction can teach you so much about yourself.

Once I fully grasped the concept that every action or inaction comes from my brain, I realized that I can control and change my mind. I didn’t have to stay stuck with the same thought patterns or reactions. This is really when I started my health journey.

Why I think Dieting fails

Yes, I had tried dieting before and living a healthier lifestyle many times. I would typically fail, because I was just doing what I thought I should be doing and not looking at the reasons. The reasons didn’t resonate deep enough for me to keep with it and what I truly wanted to change was not actually being changed.

Most of the time the reasons we want to change our outward appearance has more to do with how we see ourselves and inner minds. That is why I never saw lasting change. I wasn’t changing the foundation or inner life, so my outside appearance was only always temporary.

Let me rephrase that for you:

If you don’t change the inside your outside appearance will only be temporary.

A few months ago

I realized the need to change my inner life and thought pattern a few months or maybe even a year ago, so I started my deep dive. That is when I started “Healthy Bagel.” I wrote the first blog post, but didn’t publish it and then backed away. Something was holding me back. I realize now I didn’t really want to do the deep dive into my mind. However, that was the only way real change would happen.

When I finally did look honestly at myself I realized the real reasons why I wanted to get ‘healthy.’ I use quotes, because I have no chronic illness, I’m hardly ever sick, and can be pretty active.

Here is what I realized about my reasons for being physically fit

  1. My BMI (Body Mass Index) defined my health in my mind and I used the BMI system as a way to keep my confidence down.
  2. My desire is to be more attractive
  3. I want to feel better about my physical body.
  4. Mainstream society’s weight limits and attitudes dictated my own.
  5. If I was a smaller size it would be easier to find a bra.
  6. Finally, I want to prove to myself I can be as fit as I want.

To put it simply I want to feel good about my body and increase my confidence.

How am I using my reasons to get healthier?

First I am looking at the beliefs behind the reasons. Why do I equate BMI with health? Why am I not feel great about my physical body? Why do I want to prove that I can be more physically fit? Why is my confidence tied to my physical appearance?

Some of beliefs are influenced by the society and culture I am a part of; others are more personal. I’m still explore which ones are which and how to overcome the limiting beliefs.

I do know that being physically active is a good thing and I do feel better when I’m taking care of myself, so that won’t change. I want to be the best version of me and currently that involves taking a journey towards being the healthiest I can be.

For more on my health journey check out the previous blog posts.

Poetry visual image for poem

Not Lost (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

I am not lost
Yet I will journey on.
My path leads into the depths,
into the forest of understandings;
Like a tree rooted in family
but growing towards the sky with each passing experience.
A bird who has freedom to fly
still returns to her nest.

I walk on, learning more of me,
seeing different sides.
I am a diamond with a multitude of facets,
a puzzle I’m piecing together.
I am not lost,
yet I still journey on.

I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.

shoe poem visual art

Shoe (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

I once had a shoe.
Well, I had two.
The one that stayed lost her boo.
I do not know what to do.
I think it got on a plane and flew.
It must have gone all the way to Timbuktu.
I looked high and low, even under a tutu,
but nowhere could I find my other shoe.

Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio or watch a few of my poetry readings.

Poetry visual image for poem

Relax Your Face (A Poem)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Let the sun shine on your face
feel my warm embrace,
as I smile and say
‘You can breathe
life is not a race.’

Relax with who you are.
Do not set high the bar.
You have your dreams,
you hold tight to your standards
yet true happiness and joy is not that far.

So let the sun shine on your face
and relax with who you are.

I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.

DreamWard Bound series

Different Jobs (Dreamward Bound)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

Through out my life I have worked for 10 very different companies and had 11 different jobs. In college I also had a bunch of different career oriented experiences, primarily in the theater.

Notice that each of the companies had jobs, not careers. I could have turned any of those jobs into careers if I wanted to. However, besides working in my college scene shop and at a theater after college I knew they would be just jobs. I would not build a career around cleaning kennels or canvasing for a non-profit campaign.

Each of the very different jobs helped my journey. I learned lessons in each role I performed. The lessons ranged from learning what a toxic environment looks like to how I could truly motivate and support people.

Each job and role brought me down my life’s path and gave me experiences I can use in my art.

For years I thought I was starting my journey too late. I was behind in life and failing at being on my path. I was looking at my life and saying it wasn’t enough. In my mind I was stationary and stuck.

I now see I was always on my path; moving along in my life. I’m not behind in anything, because there are no markers for my life. I cannot compare my journey to anyone else’s or even my imaginary milestones, because that has nothing to do with my life or journey.

If I had different life experience my art would be different; my life would be different. I would be different.

If we all were on the same path expressing your heart and soul through art would be pointless. It would all be the same and devalue art itself. Even if only artist had the same path and learned the same things at the same time art would then loose something important.

It is because we are all on our own individual journeys that sharing our stories is important. We are telling people they are not alone in creative ways. Artists also show their audiences that it is okay to be different. You can still connect with people even if you’re odd.

All that to say, I now know the value of my struggle to claim my art and life. I now know the pleasure of readying myself to be a full time professional artist, because I’ve known all the other types of jobs I could fall into.

I’m ready for my creative career and that is a leap dreamward bound.

Blog on Vlogs

by tiffanyLife, my creative self, other updatesPosted on No Comments

In November 2018 I started to do weekly vlogs. They are short unedited videos of how my week went, lessons I’m learning, or random ramblings. They are not planned out and are not high quality, but they are fun to do and hopefully helpful.

I started them, because I wanted to have a presence on youtube. I also wanted to get into the habit of publishing weekly videos.

One aspect of my dream/ ideal life is to be comfortable in front of the camera and to do promotional videos for my projects.

I had 2 options to make this aspect of my ideal life a reality.

The first was to wait until I had time to plan and edit videos. Time that may never come.

The second option was to make time and start where I was. I can start with what I can do now and grow on that.

One thing I’ve learned by going down the second path is that I have to fight with myself. Some weeks the video isn’t perfect. I’ve looked at the thumbnails and I’ve noticed the lighting isn’t great. Most weeks I also don’t like an aspect of my appearance or how I sound.

If I was doing this for the views or an outside factor I would have stopped after the first few videos.

The wonderful thing is that I’m not doing this for the views. This is something I’m doing for myself. It is practice and habit forming.

I have noticed that I’m frequently giving advice and sharing the life lessons I’m learning. It is turning into a verbal version of DreamWard Bound. I am okay with that and enjoying sharing what I’m learning. (I have found a passion for advice giving).

Here are a couple more videos for you to get an idea of what I’m talking about. I hope you enjoy.

Where Am I? – DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

dreamward bound logo for where am I

I started this DreamWard Bound series almost 5 years ago. A lot has changed with the series and in my life, since then. My creative life has bounced from the foreground of my focus to the back burner and back up front.

What I focus on in my creative life has bounced around, also. Even my artistic purpose has morphed into something new.

My creative focus has changed, because the close I get to my ideal life the more I learn about myself and my true passions. I’m still not living my ideal life, but I am learning more about it.

In learning about my true passions I have added and changed my artistic theme and purpose. My theme now is ‘joyfully fun creations.’ I’m trying to keep most of my art joyful and/or fun. Sometimes I will still step away from my theme. This is mostly seen with poetry and other writings.

Having a theme to focus on has helped with my art and creating a solid body of work that has the same light, joyful feeling and style to it.

This theme/ style has carried into my memoir that I almost have completed. The book has been taking up a lot of my creative energy for the past few years, which is why this blog has been so sporadic. I have high hopes for it in both publishing success and keeping my new artist theme. I worked long and hard on it, so hopefully it is good. It’ll be very me at least.

I have also started to do more digital art work and post them for sale on Redbubble. I’m having fun creating lettering art and silly characters to share. I will be giving Redbubble at least 1 post of its own, if not more, in the near future.

I am also planning on writing more blogs and making sure this site is up to date on all my creative happenings, so stay tuned.

An Ordinary Life? (Journey To Me)

by tiffanyJourney To Me, Non-fiction and Articles Portfolio, Real LifePosted on No Comments
an ordinary life Journey to me

I’m reading a book that has brought up living an ordinary life. In the book, an ordinary life is a bad thing. The author views it as boring and as if the person living that life is asleep. They’re not really living. For me, an ordinary life would feel the same way. I fell into a somewhat ordinary life and it suffocated me. I lost part of me.

Unlike the other author, I can see that an ordinary, quiet life that is similar to those on television may be ideal. I can see how certain people can be happy settling down, working a stable job, and simply living life.

Ordinary does not fit who I am at my core. Even when my life is primarily ordinary I look for the extraordinary. I need to keep my eyes open to the uncommon and I am grateful for those times.

Living A Unique life

Living an unique life isn’t all about traveling the world, going on strange adventures late at night, and meeting one of a kind characters. More often than not it is little stories that are not forced or expected and one of a kind routines that are all your own.

My life strays from ordinary every Saturday I spend writing my novel and the nights I spend on my visual art pieces. It becomes unique when I have to test my church’s worship leader that I will be late to serving as the sound board operator, because my landlord’s pop-belly pig is loose and trying to find non-extant treats in my bag. Also, most people don’t drive slowly calling for the same pig that found her way out of her  pen a second time, so that the pig would get back to the house.

I do travel cross country often and meet one of a kind characters even more frequently. When your eyes are open though, you’ll see everyone is a one of a kind character and we all travel, even if most of the time it’s in your mind.

My life is not for everyone, but it is perfect for me. I am grateful for my uncommon life and hope you are grateful for whatever type of life you’re living.

Want More?

If you would like to read more about my Journey To Me there is a full series on the topic. I also have more portfolio writing available too. If you want to get to know me better you can do so on Instagram , Twitter, or Facebook.