Changing To A Dance: A Poem

Changing To A Dance a Poem
I'm changing this fight
into a dancce.
I will not war
not against my own life.
Instead the trumpets
will be the rhythm of my feet.
Turn the battle cries 
into songs of praise.
This will be a new day,
one with no more fighting
 not against my own life.
I'll allow the ebs and flows
to direct my dance,
know it's God's will.
I will follow.
I will go.
He leads, I follow,
without a fight,
just a dance.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Life Is (A Poem)

Life is a poem
Life is a dance,
swirling and twirling
moving all around.

Life is a journey, 
learning and growing
moving all around.

Life is a battle,
striving and fighting
moving all around.

Life is always changing 
as we dane on journey on
fighting our battles as we stand our grounds.
Want More?

If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio. You can also watch a few of my poetry readings.

Chapters of Life – DreamWard Bound

Every few years my life changes. Each change is the start of a new chapter and a new part of my epic story. Most of the time it also comes with a change in location, but not always.

I try to prepare for each change in my life the best I can. I look at it like almost like a new story. What will the plot be? What new characters may I encounter? What will the theme or message be for this chapter of my life? Each time my life changes I think I answer these questions, but God or life always has at least one different answer. The changes are never fully what I expected.

This chapter in my life is like the others. It is not what I expected.

My goal for this chapter is to pursue my ideal life, my passions, and God’s will for my life.

At the moment I am being torn down in negative areas of my personality, struggling with my motivation, and I’m learning to be more flexible in multiple areas of my life. It is a trying point in my life. I do not want to face the areas of myself that I don’t like and should change. It is not easy to let things go that annoy me or frustrate me.

I do know that the reward for going through all this will be worth it. I will hopefully rid myself of the parts of me I do not like and become more flexible with things that don’t actually matter in the long run of things. I’ll be a better version of myself and living a better version of my life.

Also, although it is tough I am still less stressed and not emotionally drained each night. It is a better life for myself already.

Plus, I can actually have a full day to rest, which is a new thing and one I’m still relearning how to do. It is strange that stopping and relaxing is hard for someone. It seems like it should be easy to do, but I’ve spent years only really stopping on vacations. If I was not on vacation I had something to do; I had something to create or a to-do list item to check off. Now I have a day for that stuff and a day to stop and take care of myself. I still want to keep going and going, but I know we all have to take a break now and again, so that is what I’m doing. I will learn how to do it well eventually.

 

My Bad Morning (a Short Story)

My Bad Morning short story

Based on a true story.

I woke up today, not wanting to get out of bed. The reason was nothing big. I just wanted the weekend to come a day early.

My adult self woke up, and I got out of bed. I got ready and took part in my work’s fancy Friday. When you work in a company of hackers, who also have nerd tendencies, casual dress is more common than not. Most days people dress in jeans and t-shirts, but not on Friday. Friday people dress up. There is one person who appreciates fancy Fridays the most and who I believe started the tradition. It was this person’s birthday, so took part in what she enjoyed. I found my dress pants and my favorite button-up shirt. I put on my makeup and did my hair. Then I put my heels on and went out the door.

I got a latte from my favorite cafe. My day had a later than normal start, but it was going fine. It wasn’t until I got on the highway that everything stopped being fine. A loud noise erupted as if my car was driving on something. Maybe there was something stuck under my car. I got off the highway, and the sound changed a bit to more of a thud-thud sound, as if my tire was flat. It was strange since when I was on the highway it was just loud. I pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot and got out of my car. Something blew my tire with holes in all of it.

The Start Of The Tire Change

It was still okay. I was going to change a tire. How hard could it be? I had it all under control. I started by taking the spare tire out. This should be the easiest part, right? I just needed to undo the bolt and slide it out from under my car. It sounds simple, but when you are in fancy Friday attire you get determined to stay clean, and need to pull something out from under your car, things get difficult.

On top of staying clean, I did not want to get my clothes wet. It had rained the night before, and as soon as I tried to get the spare tire out, it started sprinkling. I ended up in yoga positions and weird poses just to figure out what I could do to get the tire out from under my car. After a fight and a struggle, I freed the dirty rescue tire from its cage.

Now, it was time to get the jack in place. Again, this should be easy, right? Don’t you just put it under your car and crank it up? Apparently, the answer to both those questions was ‘no.’ After the wheel did not move, but the car frame moved, I looked at my manual. It was inside in my glove compartment.

Once The Jack Was On

I went to the front of my car and saw my delicious latte sitting abandoned. I thought it best to show it some love by taking a sip. It thought it best to spill all over my car. Thankfully I did not get burned, because it was lukewarm by now. Yes, I got to enjoy one, maybe two sips of hot coffee before my tire blew and now the fight over the spare tire caused my coffee to be lukewarm.

I sighed a heavy sigh and flipped through the manual to figure out what to do with the jack. It had now started to full-out rain. Once I thought I had everything in control, people asked me if I needed help. My Pride and my confident wouldn’t let them help. I would finish this task. I know I am a woman who is looking fancy, but I can do it. Everyone should be able to change a tire.

I got the jack in place and was ready to remove the tire. Now, I just needed to get the nuts off. In the movies, they make it seem pretty easy. Plus, this is harder than it should have been already, so now the easy part should happen. I am almost done. I just need to get the tire off.

Finally Changing the Tire

Well, after a few minutes of trying to getting them off with increasing force a nice older man came over to should be a trick. He got on the wrench thing and jumped. Yes, he stood, full weight on the thing, and jumped. Awesome I know how to do it now. I thanked him, thinking that was all I needed. I just needed a tip from a stranger. He accepted the gratitude and went on his way.

In my heels, I hopped with both feet on the wrench thing. Nothing happened. I had a thought of, “Hey, I’m light.” My next thought was, “Oh my goodness, I am so weak I can’t even get this nut to loosen.” After a minute of hopping on the wrench thing, another man came and helped me. He told me to lower the jack and loosened the nuts for me.

After I finished taking the nuts off the wheel was easy to get off. My little detour was close to completion. I just needed to get the spare tire on and then drive less than a mile to the tire store. By now, though, I knew that stupid tire would not be easy. I picked it up and waited until finding the issue. The struggle was aligning the holes with the bolts. This task felt like I was trying to line up an ancient key with its keyhole. It took longer than it should have. Of course, the entire process took longer than it should have. Finally, after one more person asked to help me, which I refused on the fact that it was only the spare tire now, I could get it on.

The Ending Of The Story

I got up with my outfit still clean and one more friendly person stopped to help. It was amazing to me how many people wanted to help me. I told the guy I replaced the tire already, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt for him to make sure they were tight enough. He did and could tighten them a bit more.

I was now off to the tire store, where I was told that I need four new tires. While they were pricing the tires, I cleaned my hands and arms, which were the only things to get dirty. It was then when I decided I never wanted to change a tire again, so got all four new tires, hoping it would at least postpone the tire-changing nightmare.

It was an hour’s wait before I could go to work. I got to work. After an hour, I made myself peanut butter on toast. I was still proud of myself that I did not get any dirt on my clothes. I tell you this because after I finished with my snack, I looked down and saw that some peanut butter had dropped on my shirt along with my pants. The only thing I could do was laugh. I can change a tire while staying clean, but I can not eat and stay clean.

I hope you enjoyed reading about my morning.

Want More?

If you would like to read more short stories please check out my Portfolio or perhaps you would enjoy watching readings of my work on YouTube. Also, I post snippets of my short stories and other writings on my Instagram account and Facebook page.

Goals remade

encouragement

As I mentioned in This Week’s DreamWard Bound I am redoing my goals. I reviewed them, switched them up and twisted them into goals that are newer and more appropriate for the time being. I want to share them with you, so that if or when you see changes you will know why I am doing them.

These goals are a little different. I am trying out a new system, since some goals are already in my schedule and I am already working on them. I will be giving each goal a priority number (1-8) and class (A,B,C).  With the classes A are the first and most important class while C is the ones that I will get around to after A and B are done.

In the A class we have

  1.  I am going to read the entire Bible in 1 year (so by September 6, 2014) by reading for an hour a day, before I start my creative goals, so that I can learn more about God.  My reward will be a new note takers Bible.
  2.  I am going to strengthen my relationships with my family by texting or communicating with each family member at least once a week. My reward will be the stronger relationships that come out of the communications.
  3.  I am going to lose 30 lbs by November 23rd, by exercising and eating healthier, so that I am less achy, feel better about my body, have less acne, and am generally healthier. My reward will be $60 for pampering myself with the understanding that if I do not lose the weight the $60 will go to a friend.
  4.  I am going to publish at least one one-minute video a week focused on setting and achieving goals, so that I can share my knowledge of achieving in an interesting, fun and motivational way. I will reward myself by putting $30 towards a new computer and $30 towards my future fund after 3 months.

In the B class we have

  1. I am going to post 5 poems a week to my blog, so that I can strengthen my poetic voice, writing skill and grow my audience. After 3 months I will reward myself with $60 towards a new computer.
  2. I am going to post a monologue or scene that grows my acting skills once a week to YouTube in order to become a better actor and to be confident enough in my skills so that I can be comfortable auditioning. After 3 months I will hire an acting coach.

In the class C we have

  1. I am going to paint for 2 hours every other week to release unknown emotions, build my artistic voice and skill. My reward will be all the profits I make from selling my art will go towards my future fund.
  2. I am going to finish my 2nd draft of my novel by May 3, 2015 by working on it Tuesdays or Wednesdays so that I can be closer to finishing my first novel and that much closer to the next novel in the series. My reward will be a party with my friends.

I want to also note that I will still be working on the goal of posting a video and blog post every week, but I broke that into two separate goals. I mentioned that because I am excited for a weekend at a hotel in two months now, with no responsibilities, which really just means I will be writing and recording a bunch of stuff for fun.

Another thing that I should let you in on is the “Future Fund” that I mentioned in two goals is actually a savings goal that since it doesn’t take up time I forgot to write down. I will be saving up in order to take a year from normal work and focus solely on my acting and writing career. I still am uncertain about all the details, so I still in the prep and planning stages of this major goal. It is a goal that I have though.

Well, I believe that is all for my goals right now. Please let me know what you think.

I hope you enjoyed this extra post today. I also hope you have a wonderful day.

Life's poem

Life pushes,

it pulls;

whirls and rushes

like a dance

every step wishes

changing and turning.

Switching the rules

swapping the characters

redirecting the plot.

Once settled it’s time to rush and whirl

Time to chase another dream

find another way

wish for another day

because why live one life

when you can dream up twenty?