Flowing Thoughts of a Poetic Mind

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

I’m going to let my thoughts flow out. I hope you do not mind the random ramblings of a lone dreamer, lost in her own heart. It was tightened up for so long that I grew to really miss it. I tried to feel it and share it but my heart was locked far away among the elastic bands of stress and worried. Chained behind what other people said and did around me.  My heart was bolted down to the walls of my consciousness, just beyond my reach, where I could not free it.

Yet I tried. I tried to express the stress that weighed me down. I tried to write about what was wrong, but I could not express. I could not find the words to shout that I had lost the thing I hold so dearly. The one thing that makes me myself was trapped and locked by the world around and I could not get to it.

It started rationally, yet quickly. I had to change my life, move to a new home. I had to unpack and be settled. Yet, settling did not happen. There was something that I forgot to take with me, some how in the busyness of life I forgot where my heart belonged. Still I knew it was around, until one day I did not. One day after weeks had passed I looked for myself, my heart and it was gone. My focus on work, and writings, and doings, and goings, and everything else that seemed so important had locked away my heart, my deepest being, until I was a stressed human with no true identity.

Funny how you can lose who you are so fast and hardly even notice. Something so valuable to us all is so easily lost, like a golden band worn on a finger or a diamond stud worn in your ear.

Thankfully I unlocked my heart and threw off the chains that held it away from me. Happiness and relief overwhelmed me, because I was me, I was whole and I am loved. You can not feel true love when your heart is chained down with stress and worries. So now with my heart freed I will dance and share the beauty that a freed heart sees.

The moral of the story is don’t lock your heart away with the stresses and worries of this world or you will lose something so beautiful, so magical and the one thing that makes you who you are. Let your heart be free at least a little each day.

I hope you enjoyed this and have a great day.

Oh and if you look at the categories you should be able to tell I have no idea what category this goes in. 

Wind me up (Song as Poetry)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Song

A Song is an expression of a poet’s personal emotions, meant to be sung. Lyrics in a song contain verses (lines that make up a song; sung poem) and a chorus (a repeating verse in a song {a refrain}.)

Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

Oh, I want to live for you;
follow the path laid out.
I want to run with you
and keep on going,
but where did you go.

It’s like you
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

I know you are here
I know you are waiting for me
to see you where you stand.
You lead me so mercifully
and I am yours.
These things I know.

Still I feel like you
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I;m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

Maybe it’s me
maybe I lose sight of all you are
That seems more correct by far
That I stray and look away
I run and run right pass you.

Yes, I
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around so watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around so watch the show

Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

you not me (Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry
Can you?
Do you?
Will you?
because I can’t.
I won’t.

I won’t be the first to say,
no not even now.
I can’t tell you,
so will you?
I believe you know how.

Do you want to?
Do you know how?
If you do,
please let me know.

I know I’m vague
I know I’m saying nothing
that’s why you have to,
so will you?
Please, tell me
what I want to hear.

Can you?
Do you?
Will you?
because I can’t.
I won’t.

It's A Poem

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Shh, don’t tell me
these feelings are inside.
I do wonder if you can see
this thing that I almost try to hide.

You have to know
why I’m not shouting it.
I don’t know how this feeling will grow
and I may be shy a bit.

I thought this would be a longer poem, but it’s not. I said what I needed to and hope you enjoy it.

Crumble Down (a poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

When I build me up
I crumble down
and feel nothingness surround.
When I build me up
I forget to stand
and fall to the earth’s sand.
Crumbling and falling
I can not survive
Forgetting you breath
forgetting you live inside.
My strength and hope
my way and life.
I forget
I crumble down
so you can stand out
I do not stand on the sand
because you push me to your rock.

I will remember to crumble down
only to your will,
so that your love with stand.
I will stand aside
knowing you are my rock
so that your hope will shine bright.

Yes, I will crumble down
be pushed aside,
so love, hope and mercy can survive.

 

I have realized lately that I have felt this weird crumbling emotion towards my life, as if I am not in control of my life. I know I am not in complete control of my life, but people like to think they are. I want to believe what I am doing with my life means something and that my life is mine. Well, I realized on Sunday at church that the reason I felt lost and a crumbling of myself in my life is because since I am a follower of Jesus my life is not my own. I love Jesus and have given my life to him. This means I work  with the gifts and talents God has given me to spread his love, hope and truth. 

I started to write this poem (in my mind) as  an expression of  loosing myself and not feeling right. As I actually wrote it down though, I realized why I had that feeling and turned it into a poem for God.

I hope you enjoy this and please let me know what you think.

Writing Process (a free verse poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Poetry comes out
with my eyes closed
when sleep in near;
brilliant poems flow
when paper is far
and repeating is not enough.
Wisdom and intelligence overwhelm me
when the only outlet is to speak it to myself
or when no one is listening.

Yet when I open my eyes
words fly away
like fading dreams they fly.
The poetry inside is trapped
like a rat in a house unable to be freed
as soon as the paper is in reach.
I open my mouth when some is around
and only babble spews out.

So I write with my eyes closed,
freeing my poems from the paper trap
and write when no on is around
with the quiet of my mind.

Looking back to help me go forward.

by tiffanyLife, my creative selfPosted on No Comments

I always like looking back at my past. I do not look back to dwell on my past mistakes or my past hurts. I do not like putting energy into the negative things that could hold me down. Instead I look back to see how far I’ve come. I enjoy seeing my progress and realizing what I have left behind. I also review my past to see what else I need to let go of.

The first thing I realized you may not care about. It has does not have a obvious correspondence to my art or this blog.However,  it is a big realization for me and important. I recently realized I’ve stopped looking for romance. Like I mentioned in my DreamWard Bound post this week I went through old journal entries. I realized how much I thought and wrote about romance before and how little I think about being in a relationship or finding my one true love. Yes, if some one comes along and sweeps me off my feet I will go with it.The difference is that  I am not looking for that person. I am so happy, complete and fulfilled in my life right now, that I do not feel the need to add another person into it. Plus I realized how free I truly am without romance in my life. I can do what I want when I want, I can make future plans without worry about another person, and I do not  have to be any one’s life partner. Again, when the right guy finds me I will be happy to do all that relationship stuff with him. I’m just glad it’s not right now.

I also wanted to reflect on my internet presences. First let’s start with this blog. I just read over the first blog that I ever posted. It is an outline and a plan for movie reviews. You see this blog was going to be dedicated to reviewing movies. It has since changed. It has actually changed a few times now. I would like to go back to reviewing movies, but that will be a goal for the future. I have grown to realize that doing, creating and growing as an artist is more important to me, than growing as a critic. I also realized that I would share art and thoughts rather than movie reviews. I just enjoy it better, at this point in time.

Now a fun look back: My first video that I uploaded to youtube.

Oh and now the first art piece I posted on this blog. This painting took me at least a few days as opposed to the couple of hours my last 3 paints took.(I really hope you are enjoying this, because I am having a blast!)

solo tree

 

In addition to (at least  perceived growth) I have posted more regularly and have more followers visit this blog. I actually looked at wordpress’ stats recently and mine are slowly rising, which makes me happy. All this makes me want to do more, share more, create more. Hopefully all my writing, sharing, and creating wants you, my reader(s) to read and see more.

Feel free to comment below or check out my youtube channel to see more recently videos, my website to see better paintings, or follow me on twitter so that you do not to do any of those things to stay up to date with my going ones.

I have another few posts that I will be working on today and posting through out this week, so stayed tuned/ focused/ on the look out.

Show me

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

Give me word to write,
A story to tell.
Show me which way to go,
How to grow.
Dance with me
And lead me around.
I don’t want control,
I just want to know;
Know how to dance,
How to sing.
I just want to know how to be.
So give me the words to write
And the story to tell.
Show me which way to go
And how to grow.