Dear past self

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, other updates, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

No human can complete you,
You are complete,
even if you are a bit broken,
once you realize this you will be happier.

Some people won’t stay in your life
that doesn’t mean they didn’t love you
it simply means your paths have changed.
Still keep 3 types of people around you
those who build you up,
those who show you how to grow
and those who remind you of who you were.
At some point in your life you will be lucky;
you will feel complete
and have everyone you need.

Now life will be hard
and the path will be rough.
You’re dreams will seem far away,
but you have to keep going on.
Always look forward
and although you may like to look back
remember you are not the same as you were.
You are on a journey.
Your life is a journey that changes you.
So look back when you must
but try to look forward towards the bright future,
because even when the path seems dark
there is light around one of the corners.

Voice

by tiffanymy creative self, other updatesPosted on No Comments

writing

Why do I have a voice and where does it come from? Am I just a person going through the world, doing what I want and saying whatever comes to my mind? No, the answer has to be no. I am more than just a stranger with no message. I am more than a blank face in the crowd. I want to stand out in the seas of the world and declare I am not normal. I am not just a yapping dog trying to get scraps of attention. I am not simply a girl wanting to better myself.

So Why do I have a voice? Where does it come from? I  have a voice to shine love on everyone. I have a voice to encourage and show others that they can reach for the stars. They can do everything they want to, because they are breathing. I have a voice to share my story. And I have a voice to shout my love.

Where does it come from? My voice comes from being able to breathe, from being alive. It comes from God above who has taught me what true love is. My voice comes from the God who has given me breath and life.  It comes from the people around me who tell me that I do indeed have this voice and lifts me up to be all that I was meant to be. My voice comes from far deeper than I let on.

If there is a reason for my voice and I have things I want to say with it, and since it comes from the greatest being ever to live, than why don’t I use it? Why do I blend into the crowd of the world and act like a yapping dog begging for attention? Why do I not stand up and declare “You are loved! You can be all that you want to be!”

You will be seeing changes from me.

Crumble Down (a poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

When I build me up
I crumble down
and feel nothingness surround.
When I build me up
I forget to stand
and fall to the earth’s sand.
Crumbling and falling
I can not survive
Forgetting you breath
forgetting you live inside.
My strength and hope
my way and life.
I forget
I crumble down
so you can stand out
I do not stand on the sand
because you push me to your rock.

I will remember to crumble down
only to your will,
so that your love with stand.
I will stand aside
knowing you are my rock
so that your hope will shine bright.

Yes, I will crumble down
be pushed aside,
so love, hope and mercy can survive.

 

I have realized lately that I have felt this weird crumbling emotion towards my life, as if I am not in control of my life. I know I am not in complete control of my life, but people like to think they are. I want to believe what I am doing with my life means something and that my life is mine. Well, I realized on Sunday at church that the reason I felt lost and a crumbling of myself in my life is because since I am a follower of Jesus my life is not my own. I love Jesus and have given my life to him. This means I work  with the gifts and talents God has given me to spread his love, hope and truth. 

I started to write this poem (in my mind) as  an expression of  loosing myself and not feeling right. As I actually wrote it down though, I realized why I had that feeling and turned it into a poem for God.

I hope you enjoy this and please let me know what you think.

DreamWard Bound (week of July 12- July 19,2014)

by tiffanyDreamward bound, LifePosted on No Comments

success

As  most of you know I went on a week-long vacation last week. As I stated in my “I’m Back” post I got a bunch of writing done. I still have a few more things that I will be posting, but I edited and copied them on this blog all in one day. The lack of finishing posting the other posts is because I was switched over to a normal employee at work, instead of being in training mode, which meant more work at my day job causing me to be burnt out when I got home.

I also took an evening to change-up the site a bit. I realized that my footer was very hard to see in the last layout so moved it to the sidebar. I also took away the image header, since I’ve posted images in each post.

That is all I did this week though, so here are some things that I am planning.

The first thing is that I will be recording a video later today that will explain what my YouTube channel is for. I will also be inviting my audience to give me suggestions of things they want to see, which you are welcome to do here, also. This video will be the start of a revamping of the channel. It will be more focused in a way, but also more free. My idea is that I will use YouTube as an extension to this blog, which means there will be more truly original stuff there. I will be reading my poems, short stories, original monologues, and talking about my journey.

With these changes, this blog will be seeing a few changes. Your likes or comments will be how I choose what original content I will be recording. Plus, you will be seeing more videos (hopefully). I will also be trying do write more. Basically I will be trying to do more than I have. I have a long way to go to reach my end goals and will be pushing towards that.

I will also be starting a more interactive series on YouTube that will have you and my watchers picking what I write. I will record short little videos that explain a story idea. Each video will have a main character idea, basic plot idea, and what I envision the final project to be. At the end of each video I will ask if you would want to see or read it. If someone does, I will write that story, and unless it’s a novel or a script that I can actually make I will post it here.

My focus is on growing my YouTube channel right now because that is where I have the most to grow. I write, post and am getting views on this site already. Right now, with this blog I feel like I just have to keep on keeping on. My YouTube channel is in rough shape and it’s time to make it better.

Now for my long list of what I posted this week.

A Beach scene
Lost Colony (a Play Review)
Goes The Clock
Self-Searching
No Sleep
Thoughts on Flying
Late Fourth Of July
I’m Back

Let me know what you are thinking about all of this and thank you for reading.

Self-Searching

by tiffanyother updatesPosted on No Comments

How do I see myself? Who do I want to be? Where am I now and how do I need to go?

I am still searching, still living the best I know how. I seem to need to be shown a way and to be guided down the right path. The only thing I know is that I am God’s girl.

Maybe I’m where I’m meant to be or maybe I have miles to go. I’m not sure so I will let God lead my way. I just want to end my journey at his home.

*

I would not be who I am without taking the steps I took. I would not be me if I found what I was looking for in the beginning. If there was an easy way to go, an easier path to take. I would not be the same person if there was not fight, no struggle to get the things I really want.

If I found my true love in college or at a bar I would try to hold on too tight and be forced to watch it crumble apart, broken by the pressure my heart would cause. I would not have known who I was, if I was not forced to learn about me on my own.

If I meant a producer or director on an airplane and he gave me the best role ever I would not know what to do. My nerves would wreck the abilities that are growing inside and I would be laughed out of my career. If I got it the easy way I would not have realized how much I really wanted it. If my art was not a fight I would not know how much I love it.

Yes, if my dreams would come true with ease in a moment I would ruin it too much for me  to bear. So I will be happy working and striving towards my goals. I will take one step after the other and work on being me. That way my dreams will not be my dreams, but goals that I will earn and work towards. If I work for them I will not be overwhelmed and I will be the person I am working towards being. They will be milestones in my path instead of the end of a dream.success