Self-Searching

How do I see myself? Who do I want to be? Where am I now and how do I need to go?

I am still searching, still living the best I know how. I seem to need to be shown a way and to be guided down the right path. The only thing I know is that I am God’s girl.

Maybe I’m where I’m meant to be or maybe I have miles to go. I’m not sure so I will let God lead my way. I just want to end my journey at his home.

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I would not be who I am without taking the steps I took. I would not be me if I found what I was looking for in the beginning. If there was an easy way to go, an easier path to take. I would not be the same person if there was not fight, no struggle to get the things I really want.

If I found my true love in college or at a bar I would try to hold on too tight and be forced to watch it crumble apart, broken by the pressure my heart would cause. I would not have known who I was, if I was not forced to learn about me on my own.

If I meant a producer or director on an airplane and he gave me the best role ever I would not know what to do. My nerves would wreck the abilities that are growing inside and I would be laughed out of my career. If I got it the easy way I would not have realized how much I really wanted it. If my art was not a fight I would not know how much I love it.

Yes, if my dreams would come true with ease in a moment I would ruin it too much for me  to bear. So I will be happy working and striving towards my goals. I will take one step after the other and work on being me. That way my dreams will not be my dreams, but goals that I will earn and work towards. If I work for them I will not be overwhelmed and I will be the person I am working towards being. They will be milestones in my path instead of the end of a dream.success

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