Myself (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

I’m going to reach down deep
to pull something up.
I will whisper now
while I learn how to shout.
I will stop myself
to become myself,
because with every dream
there is a struggle.
When you try to turn
you dreaming
into your reality
you must sacrifice
to get everything.
You must give away
to see your dreams in reality.
So, I will fight against myself,
push what I want now down
and pull up what I am meant to have.
I will control who I am,
to become who I want to be.
I will whisper, ‘keep going,’
so I can shout, ‘I made it.’
Always reminding myself
my dreams will be reality.

Some days you just have to remind yourself that you can do it. The road may be hard to get to where you want to go, but you can do it.  You can face and beat any struggle, challenge, or obstacle if you know and believe you can.

One day I will prove that to you, by my life, til then keep on journeying on with me.  

200th post… celebration

by tiffanyLife, my creative self, other updatesPosted on No Comments

encouragement

That quote seems to fit this moment. I just published my 200th blog post. It seems fitting to talk about the journey and how much I have changed in the 200 posts. I will try to make it interesting and not lame.  I am going to be going through the old posts that I made. Hopefully  I find a good sampling.

This blog started as an outlet for my reviews. I had an idea that I would watch and review over 300 movies. I mean I had reviewed a few movies for a class I had taken in college, so I should be able to right 300 hundred of them. I did give myself 6 years to complete it and I still have a few years before that is up. I still have the list, but my life will have to dramatically change to find time to write reviews.

I also started this blog, because I did not think I would have any other outlet for my love of movies and entertainment. I did not think a ‘real career’ in the entertainment industry was an attainable dream. Now, it may still be far off, but I don’t believe it is unattainable. It will take hard work, struggle, time and sacrifice, but I can do it. That is why I started to write the DreamWard Bound series. I honestly believe my creativity will one day be my only job.

Next, I added Story Time With Pink Sunshine. It was supposed to be short stories that could be transformed into chapters in a book. I did not get very far with that, though. It was a big story with lots of details to write. I still plan to tell this story. It will always be in my heart yearning to get out, but I will a solid amount of time to actually write it out.

It seems with the starting of Story Time I started to branch out with my creativity on this blog. I started to write poems,  updates, thoughts, and even a few short stories. It seems like once I gave myself freedom to do anything on this blog I did do anything. I have grown with this blog in my creativity and have changed my life, because a few people read my writings and my thoughts.

It may still be a small blog, but hey I wrote 200 posts and I am pretty sure each one was read by some one. I think that is enough minds touched to celebrate and change your life a bit for. So, thank you for taking this journey with me and if you want to compare my journey through my creativity I will leave you a few links that you can compare.

 

First poetry.

First Poem Post (Dream of plans)

Last Poem I posted (Poetry Of Words)

Short Stories

First One (My Testimony)

Last Short Story I Posted (Free Lobster)

Funny both are true stories

Review:

First (Amelie)

Last (Lost Colony)

Updates / talking about what was going on in my life

First (All My Projects)

Last (This Past week’s DreamWard Bound)

Okay I am done boring you with lists. Let me know what you think though. Can you see the change?

 

 

Poetry of Words.

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry
Let me twist you
distort you
and make you my own.
I want to ring you out
and squeeze
every bit of meaning out.
Then I will fill you with flowers
and the sweet scent of love.
Once I dissect you
I will stitch you back together.
Once I know your insides
and can hold tight to your outsides,
then I will use you,
then I will love you dearly.
First,
Let me twist you
distort you
and make you my own.

Wow, that became a dark poem. I am talking about learning different words though, I swear. The you is a word. 

October 4, 2014's DreamWard Bound

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

This week was crazy at work. I was in the role called support, so I had to deal with people all week, client and co-workers. I can tell already that I will not like the weeks when I am on support. This week was a roller coaster and had to stay late most nights, because although some days were slow it seemed like the questions came at the end of the day.

This week just further proves the point that there is no typical week. Every week and every day is going to be different. All I can do, all any one can do, is be their best during that day or week.

All that being said, I did not do well on my goals. I just had no energy, brain power, or will power to do anything besides living after work. I did not read my Bible at all, which is supposed to be my #1 goal. I did talk to my family members a bit, but not as much as I would have liked.

My weight loss and healthy living style was a joke, but I did realize something about it. I am a stress eater. When I am overly stress or tired I just don’t care and will eat more. I also need to make sure I at least walk every day, because even if I have no energy for the gym I can do little things.

I did get the third Goal Getters video up. This week was step 3. I almost want to post more than one a week, but I don’t want to run out tips. I also don’t want to start something extra when I know I wouldn’t be able to continue it long-term. I  at least don’t want to do that with this channel.

I did not write five poems this week, but I did write four. One of my poems from this week was really received well. I got a bunch of likes on the blog and on the Facebook link. The link was even shared. The poem was I’ll wait and I will be doing a poetry reading of it for YouTube later on.

I do have a monologue that I will also be recording soon. I did not practice it yet, but it is shorter than the other ones.

This is the off week for painting, so I will not be doing that. I am also thinking about reevaluating the goal. Painting is my most artistic form, at least I feel like it is the most artistic  form I do. I like the freedom in it and how each painting is saying something. If I have to do it for 2 hours every other week, than it turns into a chore I have to do and not an expression that I love doing.

Lastly my novel is still on the back burner. I am hoping to start taking notes and working through it in the next few weeks. I know once I start I will not be able to stop and will fall back into that world. I can not wait for that to happen, but life is getting in the way.

Now, that I write all the goals out it seems like I did do a lot more than I realized this week, which makes me glad that I wrote this post. It also pushes me to wanting to do more this next week. We will have to wait and see how the week goes though.

 

Here is what I did this week.

I Will Wait (A Poem)

One Day Of Crazy. (A Poem)

Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

Brain Melt ( A Poem)

Goal Getters (video)

Mabel Chiltern’s Monologue (Video)

 

That is 6 things from the last 7 days (I think I am going to start to keep track of the number of things I post each week).

I'll wait (A Poem about writing)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

I will wait
for inspiration to come
for thought to appear,
like a word bubble from my head.

I will wait
until my mind is ready
and my brain turns on,
like a computer booting up.

I will wait
until I am ready
until my body tells me
it is time to write.

Then when patience
is no longer needed
and inspiration comes
I will write.
I will write whatever
my mind tells me to write,
my brain whispers to my fingers,
and what is scribbled
in the thought bubble above my head.

When I know what to write
I will ready my body
unleash my mind
and write,
but until then
I will wait.

 Sometimes you need to wait other times you just need to write. This of course is a combination of both. I needed to write as I waited.

One Day Of Crazy

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Can I be crazy for one day?
Is there a way to just let go,
To not care?
I don’t want to care
not today.
Please.

Let me be crazy
just for one day.
I will be sane tomorrow,
but I don’t want to be
not today.
I want to scream
when I feel like crying
and laugh
when I can’t find the tears.
I want to run
when I need to sleep
and hide
when I tell you to find me.

I want to be crazy
just for this one day.
I will find my normal,
well maybe I will find it;
let that be concern for another day.
Today I think I will be crazy.
Yes, today I am crazy.
I will be some one normal
in the future
when it is another day.

Are You My Dream? (A Poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

poetry

Are you the dream I dreamed?
Are you the prince that came
sweeping me off my feet
with a smile and a laugh?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
in a far off land
close by love?
Was it a love that would never end?

Are you the dream I dreamed,
both with my eyes closed?
Was the laughter real
and the looks meant
to penetrate my soul?

If you are the dream I dream
the prince I wished for
and my ideal
please let me know.
Show me how to start,
before your solid form
turns into a memory.

Brain melt (poem)

by tiffanymy creative self, PoetryPosted on No Comments

writing

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
Driving to work
and working all day
has melted the things
that use to be in my head.

My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
I think I can feel
the goo dripping out.

My brain is melting
turning to mush.
My mind is melting
rotting into mush.
And now I think
I have said too much.

 

DreamWard Bound as of September 27, 2014

by tiffanyDreamward boundPosted on No Comments

success

It may be because I just was at the gym for 1 1/2 hours, but I am really feeling great. I feel accomplished this week, like the sun is shining brighter and my main future goals are achievable. Plus I don’t feel like I want to just rush through this post this week, like I sometimes do. Some weeks I just don’t want to admit I could have done more or I am not focused on my goals.

I posted my goals next to my desk this week, so that I can actually see them and be reminded of where I am and what I want to do.  I really feel smart about how I did them. I numbered them and wrote what class or level of importance they are in. I also gave each goal a title, so that at a quick glance I can be reminded of the goals. I am also happy, because on those 3×5 cards I wrote how often I will reevaluate them. They have been really helpful for me this week and with writing this post I can just go down the list and write about each goal.

Let’s start with goal 1A which is reading the Bible in a year. I did not do well with this one. I actually did not do anything with it. I wanted to, but I have fallen behind, so I’m a bit discouraged. I do have today and tomorrow to catch back up or at the very least see how much I can read in two days. Maybe I will even read more than intended and get further ahead.

Goal 2A is my family goal and although I have talked a bit to some of I have not talked or texted all of them. The week is not over though and I am planning on communicating with the ones that I have not.

The next goal, 3A, is my weight loss goal. I am very happy about this. After a week of almost only cardio work-outs and counting calories I am happy to announce that I have finally started to lose weight. I lost 3 lb.s this week. It may not seem like a lot to some and over all it is only 1/10th of what I want to lose, but it is a start. I am finally losing the weight that I want to lose. That may be why I am so willing to share all my goals this week, because I am finally seeing progress in one that I had not yet seen any progress in.

The last A class goal is my  Goal Getters goal. I did post Step 1 video. I noticed that I now have 2 subscribers to my new channel, which I did not expect. I thought it would take longer to get any type of notice. I also have all 7 steps recorded along with some tip videos recorded. I am really excited about this new adventure.

Now on to my B class goals. 1B or my #5 is writing my poems. I labeled it my poem goal, but my reasoning and thoughts behind it does not limit it to just poems. I want to grow my writing skills and poetic voice. Since I believe you can you poetry in any type of writing I have realized that anything really can be poetry. This being said this goal was met. I wanted to write 5 creative writing posts, with poetry in them every week. I have written and posted this week’s five earlier in the week and there will be a list at the end of this post.

My next goal is my acting goal. I have only thought about this one. I do have a monologue picked out. I have written it out and read it over a couple of times, but have not practiced it yet. I will be doing that later in the day. It is not exactly the best monologue for me and is far less bubbly than my ideal. Still it is a good monologue for an actress around my age. I just want to find more modern monologues in the future.

This next goal is the start of my C class goals. The first one is my painting goal. I want to paint for 2 hrs every other week. I wish I could afford to paint for longer or more often, but with every other goal that I have this one is taking the back seat. It does help me relax and is therapy for me, but it is not my main focus. This is the week that I will be painting. I plan to paint tomorrow after I hit the gym. It will nice to paint for the first time since the move. It seems crazy that I have been in this house for almost two months and have not yet painted. I am looking forward to doing so on my roof.

My last goal, is one that I will be moving up at some point. Maybe I will move it up when I finally lose all the weight I want to lose, or maybe if I finish saying all I have to say about goal achieving. Right now though my last goal is my novel. I am trying to get through my second draft by May 3rd and so far I only have notes on three chapters. I did not do anything with it this week, but that is not to say that I won’t work on it next week. I just hope my life doesn’t get in the way of editing this novel. It is my last goal, which means that it gets pushed aside first. One day I will finish it though.

That finishes off what happened with my goals this week. I want to tell you more and continue writing, but now I can only think about my goals. I guess they are really my main focus of my week. I did hang out with friends two nights this week and went to work every day. I even started to do the work that my new position calls for.

I guess the only thing left to do is give you the list of things I did this week.

Step 1 (Goal Getters video) 

Talking to My Gym

Sleep (A Poem)

Double sided 

A Poem About Zucchini Bread

Free Lobster

 

 

 

Talking To My Gym

by tiffanymonologue, my creative self, short stories, Stand Alone Short StoriesPosted on No Comments

I may be doing random topic  writings lately. I am enjoying writing them and I hope you enjoy reading them. I find it  a fun challenge to write the ordinary in a poetic way or not typical ways. 

writing

Hello, it’s me again. I was pushed by my goals to come and see you again. Let us get this straight I did not want to see you; I did not want to be here. Still here I am. I am walking in pass these glass doors. Before I start I do want to tell you I am drained, tired and it has been a long day. I am not sure how long I will stay or how exciting this visit may be. Maybe I should just turn away and go back home.

No, I will stay. You’re right I need this and I will feel better once I get started. So, here I go. I am starting this thing, called a work-out. I am moving my body that has been locked behind a desk all day.  I’m not going to think about that. I want to think about something else, something better. I know I will make up a story that is only for me about my future adventures that I may have at some point.

Okay, now I am feeling better. Now, that I have started to move and be active, now I feel alive. I am awake and I think I will be able to stay longer. Yes, I am going to stay longer. I am going to push myself. I may fall asleep as soon as I get home, but I will push myself.

I am starting to feel the sweat come on as I start to enjoy being here. This is starting to feel good, like I am really trying. I think I am making a difference with my health. This is great and I am not even paying attention to the time any more. How long have I been on this machine? The machine says half an hour. I guess I should go stretch.

Stretching feels so good. I have been so tight for being stationary for most of the day. It’s nice to pull my muscles at least for a few minutes.

Right, the stretching is done, so it’s back on to the cardio area. I think I will go on a new machine. I want variety, plus I am paying for all these machines. I should get my money’s worth, right? Alright I have not done this lateral moving one in a while.

Let’s see how does this one work? I want the fat burning work-out. Age, weight, wait is that weight again? No, I did something wrong. Age, oh it was target heart rate, now the weight. Alright I am ready to go. No, how do I change the difficulty? I can’t change the resistance I guess. I’ll just start pushing buttons as I work out and see what happens. Nope that mode will kill me. I’m not even going to try that. How about this last one? Yes, it will work, I guess.

Doo de doo now it’s back to my daydreaming, while I do this. Okay, it may be getting easier. Oh, it is and that is because I am going slower. I see the slower I go the easier it is. I am going to push myself. Let’s see how fast I can go. I am going to try to keep this crazy fast pace for five minutes, okay maybe 3. I can do 3 minutes at maximum. I will do this. I will do 3 minutes at maximum. I can’t do it. I want to stop, but I won’t. For some reason being with you makes it harder to take it easy, so I will push myself. I will get to 3 minutes. I am almost there and it’s getting closer. There I did it.

That actually feels great. After a short break at a slower pace I am going to do that again. You know what, maybe you are alright. I don’t know why I hate you so much when I am not around you. I really do enjoy this time here.  Oh, I am almost done with my work-out. I’ll push myself again. I will go as fast as I can. I won’t give up. I can’t give up. Here we go. I can do this. I will finish this work out strong. I am almost there. I will go out strong and I did finish. Great, I feel great. I am really sweat and gross, but I just kicked my butt.

Thank you for being here. I will be back in a day or two. Next time I will try not to be so against you. I know you are here for my health and that is just awesome. I really am happy that you are around. I feel great now and I somehow have more energy.

Let me know what you think of this post. I  am not even sure what category it should go in, but I like writing it.