Puzzle Pieces

writing

If we are all puzzle pieces fitting together to make a beautifully detailed picture can you be the one connected next to me. I want to force your gold and silver to connect with my puzzle piece, but I am cardboard. I am just a cardboard piece and you are metal. Perhaps you belong to another picture one perfectly planned for the materials you are made up of.

I do see another puzzle piece off and forgotten. He is not a shiny metal that looks out-of-place. This lone puzzle piece is also cardboard, just like me but his picture is being pulled apart as if life lifted the layers off. I know though, glue and love will mend any bends or pulled picture pieces. This other lone puzzle piece does look to be in the same picture with brilliant bright colors creating a beautiful part. Perhaps this pretty puzzle piece is part of the picture, but he may not be so tightly connected to mine.

My paint is not as bright or beautiful. I do not shine with beauty as the lone puzzle piece, still I will investigate. I will search every configuration. I will try to force the pieces that may not fit together. I will try even if the other piece remains unaware or uninterested in fitting together. I will figure out for myself by gluing down the pulled apart paint with love and glue until I know either way the puzzle is put together.

I Am A Dork (Almost an Acrostic)

poetry

I am a dork
And will not apologize.
Me being a dork is just who I am
And why would you apologize for being yourself?
Don’t you see
Only you can say who you are
Rarely can anyone else look inside you and find
Knitted answers of all of who you are

I am a dork
Always smiling
Making my life happy
And expressing my joys
Daring to live out who I am
Only holding back when fear creeps in, which
Rears its ugly head in crowded arenas
Kind of like a boss that I must beat.

I am a dork
Answering questions you may not ask
Matching characters together in my mind
Alone with my stories some times
Darting from one to the other like an
Owl looking for the best rotten to eat
Ranking each story into its own category
Kindly explaining to all that each is my favorite in its own way.

Yes, I am a dork and happy to be.

DreamWard Bound on 10/18/2014

success

This week was a productive week for me and it showed with my views, both here and on YouTube. I still have work to do to meet all my weekly goals and I am far from the daily habits I want to make, but I am getting there.

Let’s get what I did not do out of the way. It is the same as most weeks. I did not read my Bible, which I should be doing. I want to but I just never do. I did not paint, although that is not a goal of mine any more, the note that is tapped on my bookshelf says differently. I also did not work on my novel. I may today, but I am not sure. I will not be pressuring myself to do much today. I was crazy productive and this is my only day this week when I won’t be running around.

As far as my goal focused on talking with my family goes, I have communicated with them. I still want to talk more and strengthen our relationships more, but I am noticing an increase in communication and I am feeling more connected to them.

I worked out for half an hour at least every day except for Wednesday and Friday this week, those two days I just could not get to the gym because I was busy with work stuff. Friday was fun work stuff though. I was in a Hacker Kombat, which is a capture the flag style hacking battle. It was fun but meant that I was exhausted by the time I got home.

I did post a Goal Getter video on the channel on Monday. One person watched it, but I did get another subscriber to that channel. I am thinking that I will finish all the steps and tips that I have already recorded. If the channel is still not getting views I will nod my head and walk away from it. Until then, though, I will keep on keeping on with posting the videos.

Now, you may have noticed that I also posted a five of creative writing posts. I also posted a few words on the last acting video I did, since it was a Stated Song and wanted to explain why I did it. The write-up was a fast little writing thing though, I am not counting it towards my creative writing posts. Still, I did write five creative writing posts, which is my goal for each week. I really liked how most of them came out too. You should take a look at them. All the links will be at the end of this post.

I also, got to post two videos to my creative YouTube channel. One was the Stated Song that I felt I had to do. The other video that I posted was answering a question I found, that I think every actor should be able to answer. I will be posting more of those types of videos in the future. I enjoyed answering the questions and feel like I should. Also, it will tell whoever watches my videos a bit more about who I am.

I believe that is all I did this week. I wrote, posted videos and competed in Hacker Kombat at my work. Here is the list of all that (minus the Hacker Kombat, there is no link for that.),

Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (Video)

What type of Projects Do I want To Work On? (Video)

Goal Getters Step 4 (Video)

Stop (A Poem)

A Scene Inspired by Supernatural (Fan Fiction)

Play On (A Poem)

Words On Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (a write-up)

A Poem from Top Searches (… A Poem)

Beach Dream (A short story)

Wow, that is 9 things from these past 7 days that I did. I will say it again I was productive this week.

A Poem from Top Searches

poetry

Some of you may know that I sometimes enjoy writing poems using what people search for. This poem is another inspired from the search. 

I’m just another dreamer

wishing to get inspired

in the same place

where I find guidance

to make a change for the better.

Who am I?

I am a poem in a person’s body

one of those gym people

and lover  of life,

who sees the beauty in inspiration

who guidance in the struggle the world gives me.

Who am I?

I’m just another dreamer

Words about this past Stated Song video

I realized the other day that I have not mentioned anything about my videos with the exception that I am still doing them.

This past weekend I did another Stated Song, instead of a traditional monologue. Stated Songs are the least viewed videos on my channel and I basically do them for myself. I will be doing more monologues next week. However, I felt like I needed to do it, partly because I already had it Queued up in my mind to do it and partly because it is exactly where I am right now.

The song that I turned into a monologue was “I Want To Be Something,” by Weezer. I really like Weezer’s music, which you can by the fact that this is my second video using their songs as a monologue. The first one being “The Other Way”

I hope you like it and please let me know what you think.

Also, The song  “I Want To Be Something” was written and performed by Weezer. It appears on the band’s album Hurley which was released in 2010. Although there is no music video there is a recording of this song on YouTube here :http://youtu.be/a_m4SlbUujA and the band’s channel is https://www.youtube.com/user/WeezerVEVO . The band’s website is http://www.weezer.com/.

Play on (A Poem for musicians)

writing

Let the music play on,
sing your song out,
make the notes dance
out the throat
through your mouth.
Let your words paint music
with your instrument in hand.

You music is a beautiful painting,
so paint on the air.
You songs are a sweet aroma
to my mind,
or like a light shining into my soul.

So play on,
sing on,
and keep on creating.
Keep on sharing.
Let my life be filled
with the music within
your mind,
your heart
and your soul.
Play on
and let me hear
that sweet melody,
your beautiful rhythm
and that soul that shines from the deep.

Let the music play on,
You music is a beautiful painting,
So play on.

A Scene inspired by Supernatural

writing

I am sure most of you will think this is fan fiction and guess what it is. I usually force myself to find my own story and really only be inspired by the television, movies or books I fall in love with. It has been a while though and I think it works best as fan fiction. If you don’t enjoy this little scene, I am sorry, I will go back to my poetry and original stories tomorrow. Today I am being a little fan girl.

Also if you are a fan of Supernatural reading this let me know what you think. I hope you are not expecting a script though, because script formatting is not how my brain thinks for the first draft on paper.

The scene opens with Sam and Dean standing in the bunker’s library area. Sam has an old book in his hand and there is a door drawn on one of the brick walls. Both of the boys are staring at the wall.

After a moment Dean states, “I thought you said it would work.”

Sam responses with, “Just give it a minute.”

As soon as Sam’s words are spoken there is a crash and burst off. The chalk door on the wall flashes like a bright strobe light three times and then all is dark again for split second. The lights come back on and there is a woman, almost as tall as the boys, clothed in every imaginable weapon. She has two large pistols drawn and pointed at the guys.

As soon as the three of them see each other, the woman swings around looking for any danger. When she sees all is  cleared she lowers her guns. “What the heck and how did you do that?”

Uncertain of what to say the two brothers look at each other before Sam answers, “We needed help and was actually thinking we would be summoning some one else.”

Sam’s remark noticeably offends the woman, “Of course you did.” She starts to point one of her pistols at Sam as she talks and tells him, “Well if you are all-powerful now, you can send me back, reverse your stupid summoning ritual. I have a vampire werewolf hybrid to kill.”

Dean smirks and says, “Hey lady, how about you calm down. We’re hunting the same thing. We should hunt it together.”

The woman now is pissed off, “Hey lady?”She starts to aggressively advance to Dean, “Hey lady?! Really Dean, do you want to be shot?”

Sam goes to his brother’s side and calmly tells her, “He meant nothing by it. We are just trying to hunt the same thing.”

Now both guns are pointed at the brothers, “Let me get this straight, you are hunting a vampire werewolf and decided not to call me on my phone to tell me that you now believe me. No, instead of admitting, once again that I was right, you decide,” She looks around to where she came from, “You decide to create a summoning door to summon someone else to hunt my monster?! Well, sorry if I am not happy when you two basically tell me I’m crazy and to go fight it myself then I get yanked back to the bunker when I am mid-fight.”

The two brothers stare at her as she waits for one of them to say something, anything. She waits to strike again. The boys just stand there confused, so she finally shouts, “Really. you’re going to just stand there and act dumb.”

“We’re not acting, so how about you put the guns down and explain from the top what you’re talking about.”

“Shove it, bitch.” The girl says and holsters her guns. She turns while walking towards the tables. The boys slowly follows. She sits on the table while the guys swing chairs around to sit down. She takes a deep breath. “Okay what were you actually summoning for?”

“Help, we need help with the vampire,” Sam started and corrected himself when he saw the woman’s clenched jaw, “with your monster.”

“And why didn’t you just call me, you knew I was on my way to fight it. Why didn’t you just let me in on your penis party?” The woman said and waited for a retort.

She childishly mouthed along with Dean, “It wasn’t a penis party.” Dean was a little taken back by her knowing what he would say. “Who are you?”

“Dean, now is not the time to play that game. You know ever since we were kids it was you two and dad training, while I was stuck with mom, grandpa and the books. Just answer my question. What happened to the phone saying, we’re idjits come back, so we can fight it together.”

Sam looked at her just as puzzled as Dean was. Sam asked her, “Who do you think we are?”

The woman who was not amused told them, “Seriously, I am not in the mood for games. If you made a summoning door just to grab me from a fight tell me and we’ll move on. I’ll moved out, but we’ll move on.”

The woman stood up and readied her self to leave or for one of the guys to stop her. It was Sam who spoke as she stood, “Our mom died when I was six months old.”

“Sammy, that is not funny.  You’re twisted.” She turned to walk out of the bunker, but before she could take a step she saw Castiel standing. “What?” She asked as she quickly rushed to take off her weapons. “How?” The sword that was hanging on her back was the first to leave her body, then the holsters with the two large guns, then the belt with assorted knives and two smaller guns. “I thought.” Next was the long sword that was around her waist along with the two sais that were strapped to her thighs. “We all thought you were.” She unwrapped throwing knives from her calves and then stood up. “There no more weapons.” She walked over to Castiel still rushed and without thinking hugged him tightly, “We all thought you were gone.”

When Castiel did not embrace her as tightly as she did, the woman pulled away. “Cas? What?”

“I am sorry, do I know you?”

The statement visibly hurt the woman. “Cas, look into my eyes and please tell me you know who I am?”

Castiel did as he was told, but could not lie. He could see that she wanted him to know who she was, but he did not, “I am sorry. I do not know who you are.”

“But you know them?”

Castiel nodded and the woman returned to her spot on the table severely defeated. “Guys, no joking, do you know who I am?”

Dean shook his head and Sam whispered, “No, do not.”

The woman kept her eyes down”Are you two the sons of John and Mary Winchester?”

Sam again answered for both of the brothers, “Yes.”

She looked up at Sam and asked, “Did you ever have a sister?”

“No, our mother died when I was six months old.”

With pain filled eyes she asked, “What killed her?”

Dean answered, “The yellow eyed demon.”

“The yellow eye demon? How dad tells.” She paused before correcting herself, “How my dad tells the story he was hardly a hunt. I mean it got Grandpa Samuel, but that was how dad told mom that he was a man of letters and how dad found out mom was a hunter. It was their first hunt together.”

“Your dad was a man of letters?” Sam asked.

“Your’s wasn’t?” She asked.

Sam told her, “Our grandfather, Henry, died before he could tell our dad. “

“Was it when he time traveled to the future to fight Abaddon?”

Dean looked at her, “How did you know?”

“Because you two jerks told me to wait in the car. You said it was too dangerous and you did not need me. I didn’t listen and killed that bitch. Grandpa went home and told dad to name me after him.”

Dean paused and asked”Wait what’s your name?”

“Henrietta.”

“How old are you?” Sam asked.

“27.”

Sam smiled and told Dean, “Mom lived for another four years.”

“My mom died 10 years ago. She lived until I was 17. “

Dean asked, “How?”

Henrietta answered, “Saving our lives.” She then looked straight into Castiel’s eyes and told him, “If you’re brother is pulling anything or playing with me in any way, I will kill him.”

Sam stood up from his chair and patted Henrietta  on the knee, “I could use some coffee before we go on this hunt. Heni do you want any.”

Dean looked at Sam a little confused. Henrietta also looked at Sam but she was a little taken back, “Did you just call me Heni?”

“Yeah, I guess I did. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just that is your nickname for me.”

Dean laughed and asked, “Heni, like a chicken?”

Henrietta looked at Dean with a blank face and told him one word, “Don’t.”

“So, chicken do you want coffee.”

“You know it seems like so much is different but you are still a tool.” She shook her head with a slight smile and got up. “I think I’ll need something before this hunt.” As the four of them walked  towards the kitchen she mentioned, “We can figure out what’s what while we drink.”

Castiel made sure to walk next to Henrietta and asked, “Why did you take off all your weapons before hugging me.”

“My Cas doesn’t or well didn’t like weapons. He said he came to bring guidance not violence. You would still smite any one that needed it. Honestly I just think all those weapons made it uncomfortable to get close.”

With that they leave the library area of the bunker and go to the kitchen to drink coffee while they discuss their plans to hunt a vampire werewolf hybrid. They leave figuring out Henrietta until after the murderous monster is taken care of.

 I do have a whole detailed back story for Henrietta, but if you missed the major points; Henrietta is the boys’ sister from an alternate time line or universe. In her time line their mother fights the Yellowed eyed demon when she first meets him and kills him. He kills her father, but the demon brings her and John together. John knows about hunting and supernatural things because his father never died in the battle with Abbadon. Henrietta saved him and he was able to raise john as one of the last Men of letters, which helped him help Mary fight the Yellow eyed demon. 

John and Mary raised all three of their kids as hunters and men of letters. However, John was more protective of his little girl and tried to keep her in the bunker, which had been their home for most of their. Since their father was protective of the only girl in the family the brothers were also overly protective of her. Still she did train and was actually pushed to train harder than the guys, since she had something to prove. 

Okay I can go on and on about this character. I am liking her and keep trying to put her in a story of her own, but in my mind she is so tangled up in Supernatural that I can’t.

Any ways,  This is all I can do for tonight. If you ask I will explain more or write another short story about her, but for now it is off to bed for me.

 

Stop (A Poem)

poetry

 

Dear mind,
dear dreaming self,
please stop.
You are walking
at it’s a dangerous path.
I see the briers.
I see the holes,
pit falls,
stumbling blocks
and thorns.
I can tell
where all this thinking,
where all this dreams,
and wishing will lead.
It is clear as a day
without a cloud in the sky
and I am wearing new, clean glasses.
The briers are crisp
and the thorns are bright.
The holes contrast the beauty of the light
the pit falls are almost shouting
with their daunting blackness.

The warning signs are hung
and they are direct,
so mind please stop,
dreaming self wake up.
I know where this is going.
I have been down this road,
journeying around this area,
too many times before.
I have walked to the end of the road
nearly falling off the edge,
so mind please sleep
and dreaming self turn off.

You need to stop,
before you fall into the hole.
Desist unless you trip
into the dark pit falls that are around.
Resist even thinking about the flowers
their steams are thorns.
Turn around before the briers get you.
Mind, please I have had enough.
Dreaming self it is all a dream
one which you control.

Please, self, turn around,
in your mind,
walk down another path.
Do not journey down
the path meant for two.
Do not go on the road
when you are alone.

Thank you.

Another DreamWard Bound. (10/11/14)

success

I woke up today with a nice surprise. I had heard my phone go off before I got out of bed. I figured it was a friend messaging me for some reason. When I looked however it was actually a list of emails. There was six emails this morning telling me people liked my Who I am poem. Every like means a lot to me, but the fact that I got six likes over night was surprising and started my day off right.

Starting my Saturday right  was important to me, because I have been sick for most of the week. It was not a debilitating sickness, just a cold that drained me of energy and made motivation hard. By Thursday I had enough of the annoying cold and decided to take the day off of work, which meant that I at least felt like I needed to make up my work. I was planning on doing that last night, but instead I took it easy and only wrote one poem. I did not touch anything resembling acting or editing my novel that I hoped to have enough energy to do.

This morning, however, I woke with energy and a friendly boost from those likes and went to the gym. Now, I have energy and motivation to work on a monologue, write this DreamWard Bound post, and most likely a few other things. We will see what the day brings though.

As far as my goals go I did not read any of the Bible, which is listed as my first goal. I did listen to the audio version a bit. It is always more relaxing and easier to listen to an audio book and not actually reading it. It also tricks me into thinking I don’t have to read it for myself. I am trying to break myself of that thought process though. I want to read the Bible for myself.

My second goal it the one about my family. I have gotten better at communicating with some,  but I still do not feel as close as I want to. There are still those who I do not text or talk to weekly. I am talking to a few more though, so that is progress at least to me.

Next is my weight loss, which I am happy to say I did a lot better this week with, even though I had no energy. I also did not have the biggest appetite. As of today I lost 5 pounds of the 30 I want to lose.

My fourth goal is my Goal Getters videos, which I did post this week. It was Step #3  in the steps I use to achieve my goals. I am thinking that I will start to do a step and a tip, every week. I have a bunch of tips and I keep finding more. I keep discovering other tips and I am thinking that I might as well share all the ones I have now. I still have to think about pacing myself though and not running out of energy or ideas.

Now, my poetry goal was not meant this week. I almost wrote five poems or posts, but taking Thursday off as a sick day made me miss one.  Also, having a cold made it hard. I did write four posts and one of them was my 200th post. I also wrote a celebration post for the fact that I wrote 200 post, well now it is over 200 posts.

I also recorded another monologue, which I did last Saturday. I was able to edit it and post it last Saturday. I also recorded a few question and answers about acting. I found the questions a while ago and have wanted to answer them. I did forget about them for a bit, but now that I found them again, I really wanted to answer them. I will be posting them once I edit them down and make sure they make sense.

I did not touch my novel and am taking away the painting as a goal. I will still paint, but it will be when I have something to paint and not painting because it’s on the schedule. Painting now needs to stay my hobby, not a goal.

That is all my goals for this week. I will hopefully be able to get be more productive at least with my first two goals this week.

Here is the list of things I did this week.

Step #3 (video)

I’ll wait (poetry reading video)

Storm’s Monologue (video)

Who I am (poem)

Myself (poem)

200th post celebration.

Poetry of Words.

 

I actually did not realize I posted/ published 7 things this week. I think this list is becoming more and more helpful to me. I do hope that the list is helpful for you or at least these posts are enjoyable.

 

 

Who I Am (A Poem)

poetry

Ask me who I am
and I may tell you
I do not know.
Ask me what I am
and I will tell you
I am a puzzle not to be known.
Ask me how I am
and I will smile
saying that should already be known.

Who am I?
Today you ask me,
and I will answer
with this moment’s answer.
I am me.
I write my heart,
not knowing all of it.
I speak my mind
still hoping to grow it.
I share my soul
praying that you won’t break it.

I may not know everything
not even about who I am,
but I know
I am stronger than I have been tested,
smarter than I seem,
and more loving than I let on to be.
My heart is deeper than any ocean,
and how deep it goes scares me at times,
because the deeper the chasm
the easier to fall,
the easier to be broken,
so my heart may be deep,
but I do not venture
as deep as it goes.

Who am I?
I do not know,
an artist at heart,
but with an organizer part.
I am a nerd to start,
who loves all things about art.

I do not know fully who I am,
because I have not fully lived.
My life is not over,
so I will still be changing,
still be growing,
and I will still be learning.

Who am I?
I can only answer
quite simply,
I am me.