the last forty days

by tiffanymy creative selfPosted on No Comments

41 days ago I was feeling pulled in all directions. I did not know what I was doing wrong, but could not make time for all the projects I wanted to do. I had no time to follow my dreams. It was draining just to live life because I never really recharged. Life just was not going my way it seemed.

That was when I decided to change something. I did not know how or what exactly needed to change, but I went on a fast from television. I figured I would pray and ask God for help instead of watching shows or movies. I started this no television thing forty days ago and told myself and God that it would be for forty days. I felt like what I learned may help people, but mostly want to share what happened to me.

I want to make sure that I am clear in my reasons for writing this blog. I am not writing it as a, ‘look at me,’ type of thing. I am sharing with you part of what did happen and not saying either way whether you should try this fast or not. This was helped me at this point in time and I have learned things from it. I am hoping to simply share what I have learned and not what I have done.

Now, what I learned first was within the first week. I realized just how much t.v. I was watching. I would get home from work and plop myself in front of a television or my computer. I would zone out, never really mentally resting but not active either. Television was not refreshing my mind or soul, but I was still watching hours of it. I would stay up late just to watch another episode or because the one I told myself was my last, was not a good one to leave off on.

You may watch a lot of television or a lot of movies over the course of the week. Or perhaps you have another hobby that takes up most of your time. What I learned from realizing how much television I was actually watching was that I had elevated entertainment to a level higher than most things in my life. I had always been a dreamer and a planner, but none of my plans or dreams were coming true. I was stuck, because I was actually saying, with my time, that television was more important than my dreams. Watching that much television told me that I either did not actually believe I could achieve my dreams.

Well, I really do believe that I can achieve my dreams and now I know it. I had a lot of time on my hands, after cutting television out. I have made three necklaces, most of a puppet (I just need two little things to complete her), have written multiple poems (some of which are up on this blog), have done a mini Bible study on proverbs 31 (again on this blog), and have written 37,147 words of a novel I had been putting off. All of this was within the last forty days.

Each of these projects taught me something different. First the Proverbs 31 one taught me that I must work hard and be strong in order to be a godly woman. This does not mean I do not enjoy my life. The work I work hard and long on is my writing, which I love to do. This piece of scripture is giving me strength and determination to follow my dreams full heartily.

The next project, the puppet, made me realize how much talent God has. He shapes us all and is focused on each detail. I hardly could get the face done and almost gave up multiple times, because the detail work was so hard. She is a tiny puppet and I just did not have the skill to finish her… Or so I thought. After putting her down and picking her up many times, I finally felt her face was finished. I then worked on her hands which again I almost gave up on. I could not figure out her tiny fingers. Again after picking them up and putting them down I figured out how to do the fingers. I realized after she was baked and ready to assemble that some connecting loops were closed. I had moved the clay too far down the wire that I was working on. I almost thought I would have to make a few parts over again, but found a way to save them. Finally yesterday I basically completed her. She is now wearing a black dress. I only need to attach her head, but need to buy something for that. So, now that she is done, I look at her and she looks like a real mini puppet. It took a lot for me not to give up on all the detail and during the process I kept telling myself that I would never do another puppet this small. Looking at her I bet I will do another one this small again, maybe soon.

I bet God looks at us the same way. People are more complex and hard to figure out than puppets, yet he has made billions and will make billions more. He does not give up on any of us, even when we do not believe he is real. He loves us no matter what.

The other project that taught me something was my writing. This includes my poems and my novel. I realized during the writing many things. One, God is with me while I write, so I should let him shine through. Also writing and becoming a full time author is my dream. At least the main dream I want to pursue at this time. Once I can survive as an author, which I know may be never, I may pursue my other dream as an actor. Right now I am only a write though. Right now writing is my main dream. This will be my focus. Yes I still love acting, theater, and movies, but what really is important to me is God, my family, friends, and writing. I need to focus on what is important. I stretched myself thin only thinking of the many different areas I want to make a career in. Truth be told I wanted seven careers at one point and I wanted to pursue them all at the same time. What has stuck over time, what I always did even before I realized it could be a career, was writing. I started writing when I was ten and never really stopped. I wrote stories, poems, novels (with no endings), journals, plays, and songs.

I love to write and love is its own reward. I do not need anything in return. I spent years without some one reading anything I wrote and it did not matter. I still wrote. I hope people will read my things now, but approval for this art form is not required.

As for the jewelry I made. That is a hobby, that I hopefully will make a few extra bucks at. I will be selling some pieces soon on Etsy (www.etsy.com/shop/tiffyjoy). This will not be my main career though. I enjoy it and if I sell enough I may think of making it a full time thing, but I will always be a writer at heart. If I can make a living as a jewelry maker and a writer I will be happier than I can imagine. It would mean I could just have fun for most of the day and make my own schedule. We will see though. I will not get ahead of myself, which I have a tendency to do.

All of these things happened during my forty days of no television. I realized and learned everything within those days, because I was opened to learning and could focus on what was really important. My simple advice for you, my reader, is if you feel stressed or stretched thin, if your dreams are not coming true and you do not see anything happening with them, ask yourself is there something I could give up or change. Is there something in your life that is taking up your time or not revitalizing you? Prioritize your time, work for your dreams, and know you can do it.

You (unedited)

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Calm my mind,

like a gentle breeze.

Please, wash away my insecurities

in a loving river.

Teach my how to sing the songs

that the care free birds sing.

Do not want to worry about tomorrow?

 I will try to let tomorrow worry about itself.

Breathe your calming spirit in

and I will breathe my anxiety out.

Today I will remember your gentle breeze,

your loving river,

and live.

Please, feel free to give feedback or comments below.

Proverbs 31

by tiffanyrandom ramblingsPosted on No Comments

When I lived in California I had a mentor/ friend who gave advice that was simple to say, but hard to follow. Just recently  this friend, Janet, went to be with her heavenly Father in heaven. I know that she is with God because she did not only give this advice but lived it. She was a proverbs 31 woman and wanted me to be one too. That was her advice, “Be a proverbs 31 woman.” It was a simple, after reading the scripture I knew what she meant. You see proverbs 31 describes a strong, energetic, hard working woman who gets up early and stays awake working late.

For a while I have been saying, one day I’ll be that way, one day I’ll change into that. I had been saying that for more then a year; thinking I had all the time in the world to grow into kind of woman. However, when I heard that she had passed away from this life, I realized I did not have all the time in the world.  No where in the Bible does it say to wait until you are ready to follow God. It may say wait on God’s timing, but I was waiting for my own timing.

Realizing that time is short and knowing that I wanted to live for God fully. I started to read Proverbs 31 over and over. I have read it in at least 3 different translations. As I have studied it, almost every day, I have realized I am finally starting to realize what it means and  am becoming that type of woman.

I have posted the entire passage below, but there are a few verses that stuck out at me (these are from the ESV translation).

 

The first is only the first half of verse 15 which states, “She rises while it is yet night.” She is an early riser. I have not been too fond of this, but have been trying to wake up earlier and to my surprise it makes all the difference. I am not just waking up when I get to work, but already awake and ready to work. This allows me to be in a good mood for most of the day. I also realized that I have more time in the day. I can even write this blog right now, because I woke up early.

The second is “17 She dresses herself[b] with strength and makes her arms strong.”   She is strong. In the NLT the same verse says “She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.”  I sometimes feel society wants women to be girly and not strong. It always seems to surprise people when I don’t mind doing the hard work that takes muscle. I’ve never been a girly girl and thought that Christian women were suppose to be ‘lady’ like. Although, I have meant non-lady like Christian woman, who I love, I had thought that they were suppose to seem weaker. This is not exactly true though. We are suppose to be strong, hard working women. We should have a strong drive to work and help out physically.

The next verse that stood out to me was the second half of 18. “Her lamp does not go out at night.” This was easy for me and I was really happy to see this. I am a night owl and love staying up late. Of course it is harder to do when you remember verse 15 which says you should also rise early. Still this means more time for everything you want/ should be doing.

My favorite chunk of verses, the one I think sums the whole passage up is 25-26. “25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,  and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”  A proverbs 31 woman is smart, dignified, kind and laughs. This paints a picture of happiness and contentment for me.

Studying this has begun to change my life. I can see the changes and feel them. I am taking charge with my writing and art work. I am working harder to be the woman God wants me to be, which is all that can be asked. I hope that by sharing this it will strengthen you and teach you that being a Biblical person is being strong, smart and awesome.

Here is the scripture I am referring to:

The Woman Who Fears the Lord

10 [a] An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
17 She dresses herself[b] with strength
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
20 She opens her hand to the poor
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.[c]
22 She makes bed coverings for herself;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.

marching

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

(please note that this is a quick, not edited poem)

March, March

Marching to the beat of life

Droning on and on

Work, work and work

to keep your head a float.

When all of a sudden you realize

there was a misstep;

a stumble somewhere down the road

that sent a ripple

to your very soul.

Breath in the ripple,

the change in pace.

Relax into the realization,

your life is about to change.

Now march again to a different pace.

March now to the song in your own head.

And watch as the days do not drone on.

Listen to work being done as you continue to hum.

This life is yours to live so live.

Dreamer of plans.

by tiffanyPoetryPosted on No Comments

Dreamer of plans.

I wish to be like a fish swimming in the sea.

I wish to be a caged bird set free.

I wish and I wish,

while I dream and think.

I want to be in a different life.

I want to be some one’s wife.

I want and want

while I dream and think.
I need to know what I am doing,

where my life is going.

I need to be on one path,

and figure out the direction I’m walking.

I need and need

while I dream and think.

Oh, so many thoughts and dreams

cascades down my mind.

Filling my brain with impossible plans.

Fearless, strong, and wonderful plans.

Plans that when started fall short

as the other plans start to be thought.

Plans where success and happiness

wrap around me like warm hugs;

plans seem possible,

until other thoughts take their place.

This is why I wish and want

and think I need,

while I dream and think.

This is why I dream and think.

What's going on?

by tiffanyLifePosted on No Comments

Hey you may have noticed (maybe not), that I haven’t been blogging or writing movie reviews lately. I will explain why there are no movie reviews in a little bit. Right now I want to inform you, my blog, that I am coming back, stronger and better. I will make it a goal to write something at least once a day.  If I don’t post just assume that I am writing in my novel (which is one reason why I haven’t written here in a while).

If you have been around this blog before you will notice that the menu has new tabs. Some, well most, are still empty but should be filling up soon. You will also find a new link in my about page. This is to my new website, which I am very excited about.  Please check it out (www.tiffanyjoy.net)

Update on projects

by tiffanymy creative selfPosted on No Comments

After two weeks of trying to do work on a different project each day I realized two things. One, is that I stress my self out easily. Two, with a full-time job I can not add so many projects. That being said I also decided to keep  those who care informed.

I was thinking I would cut out all my projects and start from scratch. I wanted to just focus on my jewellery. I have been working on my acorn necklaces and am going to start to make polymer clay jewellery. After a few thoughts and realizing that if I cut down to just jewellery I would not work on my book, movie reviews or Pink Sunshine story. Since I started to work on these projects before I started the schedule I will continue them.

That being said, Sundays I will still work on my book, As You Are. Friday nights  will still be dedicated to my friends in Story Time with Pink Sunshine. Saturdays also will still be focused on movie reviews. My week, however, will only be filled with  only jewellery making.

Now stay tune for pictures.

Donnie Darko

by tiffanyMovie Reviews, Reviews, Start with the BestPosted on No Comments

With Halloween right around the corner I felt like a Halloween themed movie was in order. After a long search on Netflix, I was surprised that I could not find any real horror movies that were also on my Start with the Best project. I did find and watch Donnie Darko, which I’m counting as a Halloween movie, if only because the climax is on a Halloween night.

This was my first time watching it and as the movie start I wondered how many scenes it would take to start the real action. The setting up of the movie seemed rather dragged out but as soon as I had the thought that this was going to be a long stretched movie a demented and evil-looking bunny was standing right in front of Donnie. This is where the film starts to pick up. A mysterious plane engine falls from the sky and the idea of time travel is talked about.

In this film time and time travel is the main subject that is looked upon. I first noticed this when the audience is first introduced to the school. Time is slowed and sped up just enough to notice a change. The date is also shown every few days to show how many days until the main action will take place.

The film also plays with the fourth wall when Donnie, the main character, looks at Frank. the scary bunny. This is a great element which, although it usually is out-of-place in most movies, feels perfectly placed while helping to make Donnie’s character seem more unstable and at the same time more knowing. It is almost like he is looking directly at the audience while he looks at Frank.

This is such an interesting and great movie. I was once told that I would like it by a friend and he was right. This is a movie I will be watching again.

If you want more information about this movie you can go to The IMDB page for Donnie Darko.

If you are interested in buying this movie, here is a link to the amazon page.
Donnie Darko

4 movies down 324 to go.

Wizard of Oz

by tiffanyMovie Reviews, Start with the BestPosted on No Comments

There is no movie like this week’s movie. It is an iconic classic that is also one of my favorite movies of all time. I could have written this review with out even watching it again, but it is my favorite movie, so I watched it for the hundredth time. This week’s movie is The Wizard of Oz.

Now I knew I loved this movie and that it is a great movie so I asked myself “what makes this movie great?” As soon as the movie started I realized the details and quality of the scenery. The farm had real chickens, pigs and horses. This is a farm that looks real, and growing up next to one I know what a real farm looks like.

A movie can have good scenery and still have the possibility of being a bad movie, though. That is, of course, not true for this movie. During this viewing I noticed the foreshadowing in the farm hands and the fact that Dorothy was a dreamer. She wanted to find her own life, so she ran away only to find that her life was with Aunty Em.

All through the movie I looked for weak parts, because I knew that the story line is great and the acting is superb. I wanted to learn something from this watching. What I found was that each and every scene was needed. I have watched some movies that add scenes for what appears to me to be time wasters. It is like some producers want a movie to match their time. This was not the case for this movie. Each scene was either setting up the movie, introducing characters or moving the characters along in their journey.

Another thing I saw in the viewing, that I hope I saw before, was that it was the journey that taught the characters about the things they were missing. Scarecrow wants a brain, but comes up with the plan to get Dorothy out of the Wicked Witch’s castle. Tin Man is searching for a heart but is the one that is usually crying or being emotional. Lion desires courage, however, he is the one will to lead the three men into the castle. Finally, Dorothy wants to go home and at the end of the journey when she thinks all is lost, she finds all she needs to do is open her eyes.

I was surprised to find two areas that stuck out as not high quality. The first one was the wires. While Scarecrow is on his pole there is one, I’m assuming to keep him up. A few times I saw a wire attached to Lion’s tail to make it move and stay raised. The other time was with the flying monkeys; as they take Toto away you can clearly see the rigging. The only part that took away from the movie was seeing the rigging, mostly because that was the most noticeable. The other area that was not high quality was the make up. I noticed edges and bald cap lines on some of the actors. I did not feel like the make up took away from the over all quality of this movie. It was just something I noticed.

Even after noticing the two weak areas, I love this movie. That is because it is not about the background, special effects, or technical side of it. This movie is about the story and characters that jump off the screen and ask you “what are you searching for?” Then no matter what you answer this movie tells you to search deep within yourself because what ever will make you happy is there. Whether you think you need to be smarter, braver, or more caring, you already have the tools inside you. It is the journey called life that will teach you how to use what you have to shine and become who you want to be.

For more information you can you to The Wizard of Oz on IMDB
If for some reason you do not own this movie yet, I suggest you buy this version.The Wizard of Oz (Three-Disc Collector’s Edition)
It has wonderful extras both on the DVDs and as hard copy photographs and publicity materials.
3 movies watched 325 to go.

Episode 1 The Road Trip

by tiffanyStory Time with Pink SunshinePosted on No Comments

The plan for the Road Trip, that would change the Gang of Color’s lives, was for Brain, Doom, and Lady to leave Brain’s parents’ house at eight o’clock and pick Sunshine up at ten o’clock in the morning. That was before Blue Bull called Brain to tell him, he was joining the group. This was news to Sunshine when she called Brain at 10:30 wondering where the gang was. She had already said goodbye to her family and was anxiously waiting to start her trip.

Brain informed Sunshine that they had not left but was leaving soon. He also told her that they were going to go soon so they four of them would be at Sunshine’s home in two hours. After two hours past Sunshine called Brain again. It would be two more hours.  She also called at four o’clock.  Sunshine’s family started to come home from work and school, her young nephew included.

Six o’clock rolled around and the group finally rolled into Sunshine’s driveway. After they all had dinner that Sunshine’s mom made they were off. It was almost eight at night and they finally started on their road trip in two packed cars.

They drove from Massachusetts to Rhode Island and stopped to take in the fact that they were on a life changing adventure and partake in their common interest. They were then off only stopping briefly in Connecticut for a bathroom break. The next stop was in Pennsylvanian to fill up on gas. It was about four in the morning when they pulled into the huge gas station and found an arcade inside. The group of gamers played in the few games that the arcade had and half an hour later they were off again.

While Brain and Bull drove their cars Lady and Doom played co-pilots leaving Sunshine to enjoy the car ride and fall asleep. Since she was the first to sleep she woke up first. They all were still in their cars but the cars were parked. Sunshine looked around as she was waking up and noticed that they were in a Walmart. Apparently they stopped to pick up better walkie-talkies but the ones they found did not work between cars.

Once they were all awake they went across the parking lot to the McDonalds where, as they had breakfast, they took group pictures and joked with each other.

After everyone ate they were back on the road again.