The artist tag is used similarly to my art tag and the Tiffany Joy tag. However, this tag is specifically to highlight the artist side of me.
I am not lost
Yet I will journey on.
My path leads into the depths,
into the forest of understandings;
Like a tree rooted in family
but growing towards the sky with each passing experience.
A bird who has freedom to fly
still returns to her nest.
I walk on, learning more of me,
seeing different sides.
I am a diamond with a multitude of facets,
a puzzle I’m piecing together.
I am not lost,
yet I still journey on.
I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.
I once had a shoe.
Well, I had two.
The one that stayed lost her boo.
I do not know what to do.
I think it got on a plane and flew.
It must have gone all the way to Timbuktu.
I looked high and low, even under a tutu,
but nowhere could I find my other shoe.
If you would like to read more of my poetry please take a look at my portfolio or watch a few of my poetry readings.
Let the sun shine on your face
feel my warm embrace,
as I smile and say
‘You can breathe
life is not a race.’
Relax with who you are.
Do not set high the bar.
You have your dreams,
you hold tight to your standards
yet true happiness and joy is not that far.
So let the sun shine on your face
and relax with who you are.
I do regularly publish poems on my site and post poetry readings on YouTube.
Through out my life I have worked for 10 very different companies and had 11 different jobs. In college I also had a bunch of different career oriented experiences, primarily in the theater.
Notice that each of the companies had jobs, not careers. I could have turned any of those jobs into careers if I wanted to. However, besides working in my college scene shop and at a theater after college I knew they would be just jobs. I would not build a career around cleaning kennels or canvasing for a non-profit campaign.
Each of the very different jobs helped my journey. I learned lessons in each role I performed. The lessons ranged from learning what a toxic environment looks like to how I could truly motivate and support people.
Each job and role brought me down my life’s path and gave me experiences I can use in my art.
For years I thought I was starting my journey too late. I was behind in life and failing at being on my path. I was looking at my life and saying it wasn’t enough. In my mind I was stationary and stuck.
I now see I was always on my path; moving along in my life. I’m not behind in anything, because there are no markers for my life. I cannot compare my journey to anyone else’s or even my imaginary milestones, because that has nothing to do with my life or journey.
If I had different life experience my art would be different; my life would be different. I would be different.
If we all were on the same path expressing your heart and soul through art would be pointless. It would all be the same and devalue art itself. Even if only artist had the same path and learned the same things at the same time art would then loose something important.
It is because we are all on our own individual journeys that sharing our stories is important. We are telling people they are not alone in creative ways. Artists also show their audiences that it is okay to be different. You can still connect with people even if you’re odd.
All that to say, I now know the value of my struggle to claim my art and life. I now know the pleasure of readying myself to be a full time professional artist, because I’ve known all the other types of jobs I could fall into.
I’m ready for my creative career and that is a leap dreamward bound.
In November 2018 I started to do weekly vlogs. They are short unedited videos of how my week went, lessons I’m learning, or random ramblings. They are not planned out and are not high quality, but they are fun to do and hopefully helpful.
I started them, because I wanted to have a presence on youtube. I also wanted to get into the habit of publishing weekly videos.
One aspect of my dream/ ideal life is to be comfortable in front of the camera and to do promotional videos for my projects.
I had 2 options to make this aspect of my ideal life a reality.
The first was to wait until I had time to plan and edit videos. Time that may never come.
The second option was to make time and start where I was. I can start with what I can do now and grow on that.
One thing I’ve learned by going down the second path is that I have to fight with myself. Some weeks the video isn’t perfect. I’ve looked at the thumbnails and I’ve noticed the lighting isn’t great. Most weeks I also don’t like an aspect of my appearance or how I sound.
If I was doing this for the views or an outside factor I would have stopped after the first few videos.
The wonderful thing is that I’m not doing this for the views. This is something I’m doing for myself. It is practice and habit forming.
I have noticed that I’m frequently giving advice and sharing the life lessons I’m learning. It is turning into a verbal version of DreamWard Bound. I am okay with that and enjoying sharing what I’m learning. (I have found a passion for advice giving).
Here are a couple more videos for you to get an idea of what I’m talking about. I hope you enjoy.
I started this DreamWard Bound series almost 5 years ago. A lot has changed with the series and in my life, since then. My creative life has bounced from the foreground of my focus to the back burner and back up front.
What I focus on in my creative life has bounced around, also. Even my artistic purpose has morphed into something new.
My creative focus has changed, because the close I get to my ideal life the more I learn about myself and my true passions. I’m still not living my ideal life, but I am learning more about it.
In learning about my true passions I have added and changed my artistic theme and purpose. My theme now is ‘joyfully fun creations.’ I’m trying to keep most of my art joyful and/or fun. Sometimes I will still step away from my theme. This is mostly seen with poetry and other writings.
Having a theme to focus on has helped with my art and creating a solid body of work that has the same light, joyful feeling and style to it.
This theme/ style has carried into my memoir that I almost have completed. The book has been taking up a lot of my creative energy for the past few years, which is why this blog has been so sporadic. I have high hopes for it in both publishing success and keeping my new artist theme. I worked long and hard on it, so hopefully it is good. It’ll be very me at least.
I have also started to do more digital art work and post them for sale on Redbubble. I’m having fun creating lettering art and silly characters to share. I will be giving Redbubble at least 1 post of its own, if not more, in the near future.
I am also planning on writing more blogs and making sure this site is up to date on all my creative happenings, so stay tuned.
I’m reading a book that has brought up living an ordinary life. In the book, an ordinary life is a bad thing. The author views it as boring and as if the person living that life is asleep. They’re not really living. For me, an ordinary life would feel the same way. I fell into a somewhat ordinary life and it suffocated me. I lost part of me.
Unlike the other author, I can see that an ordinary, quiet life that is similar to those on television may be ideal. I can see how certain people can be happy settling down, working a stable job, and simply living life.
Ordinary does not fit who I am at my core. Even when my life is primarily ordinary I look for the extraordinary. I need to keep my eyes open to the uncommon and I am grateful for those times.
Living an unique life isn’t all about traveling the world, going on strange adventures late at night, and meeting one of a kind characters. More often than not it is little stories that are not forced or expected and one of a kind routines that are all your own.
My life strays from ordinary every Saturday I spend writing my novel and the nights I spend on my visual art pieces. It becomes unique when I have to test my church’s worship leader that I will be late to serving as the sound board operator, because my landlord’s pop-belly pig is loose and trying to find non-extant treats in my bag. Also, most people don’t drive slowly calling for the same pig that found her way out of her pen a second time, so that the pig would get back to the house.
I do travel cross country often and meet one of a kind characters even more frequently. When your eyes are open though, you’ll see everyone is a one of a kind character and we all travel, even if most of the time it’s in your mind.
My life is not for everyone, but it is perfect for me. I am grateful for my uncommon life and hope you are grateful for whatever type of life you’re living.
If you would like to read more about my Journey To Me there is a full series on the topic. I also have more portfolio writing available too. If you want to get to know me better you can do so on Instagram , Twitter, or Facebook.
My dreams and goals seem crazy to me at times. They are so grand and lofty. They almost seem impossible. Yet, every time I attempt to downsize my dreams it does not work. Even if I am able to shrink them for a time, they will grow.
I want to say my dreams grow like weeds, but they are much more beautiful than your common weed. They are more like wild flowers, growing wherever and however they like, but doing so rather beautifully.
They are currently blossoming with the goal of supporting myself as an author and artist, who can then work on acting again. I want to be known for these three things. I can see myself achieving this and I am working towards these goals, that is why I call it a goal and not a dream. Dreams are just goals without a plan. I believe Dave Ramsey said something along those lines and I believe it is true.
My current dream includes marrying a musically talent actor, having 2 kids with him, and building a life with him. In my dream, I’m producing t.v. shows and acting in movies. Also, I want to be able to live off of 10% of my income and give the rest to God’s work and charities. I have no actual plans or steps in achieving any of these dreams. Perhaps one day when I am supporting myself as an author, artist, and actress, I will then be able to plan for my dreams.
I do want to mention that I don’t just want a lot of money, but I want to be able to make a big difference in the lives of others in a notable, positive way.
Where I am sitting right now these dreams and goals are large and scary, but they are mine. I am happy with always reaching for more, even though it is frustrating or a real struggle sometimes. I think I’ll stop trying to downsize my dreams, instead I’ll upgrade my work habits.
I have more stories that shows how I became who I am. They are in the Journey to Me series. I also have stories specifically about God and of course I wrote a book about my views and experiences with Love called To Love.
Sometimes I feel like I should have already started a more creative life. I want to be further along in my creative career. This makes me feel like my life is passing me by. I forget to look at all the great stories I now have to pull from. I ignore the fact that each year, month, week, and day have shaped me into the unique artist that I am.
It frustrates me to see where I want to go and not be there. It is also frustrating not having a clear path laid out before me. If feels like I’m in Californian traffic during rush hour and I’m not even sure if my gps/ plan is actually correct. Perhaps there is a better path for me, or at least better steps that I can be taking.
If you want to be a doctor there is a clear plan. You go to college, then med school. Then I believe there is an internship or residence. After that you are a full on doctor. You apply to jobs, go on interviews and get a job.
If you want to be a lawyer, you go to law school, take the bar exam, and apply to jobs. Then you are a lawyer.
Being a professional artist is a bit different. You can go to school, but you don’t have to. Some people apply to jobs or get freelance jobs, but other do not go that route. Some will work on finding commission jobs, others will not take commissions.
You basically do what fits you and your art the best, but it takes time to figure that out. Of course, more and more I believe a lot of life is just like that. You need to figure out what works best for you and your life.
Sometimes it’s learning from others that will help you down your path in life. Other times it’s trial and error.
I think as long as you are moving towards your life goals, no matter how slow or sloppily, you are still going down your path and that is a good thing. This is one thing I need to remind myself when I think I’m going to slow or not seeing enough progress.
If you would like to read more about my Journey To Me there is a full series on the topic. I also have more portfolio writing available too. If you want to get to know me better you can do so on Instagram , Twitter, or Facebook.
I want to boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected. I mean how can anyone really hide their creativity? I know I’ve tried to hide or ignore my creative side, wanting to be normal. I yearned for a quiet mind that could simply observes the world and did not have a need to share its beauty.
Yes, there was a time I wanted to be normal, but not any more. An ordinary life in no life for me and if it seems like my life is just like yours ask me what I’m thinking about. For you see I have worlds and universes living in my head. My mind is filled with lands of poetry, worlds of paintings, and many stories in many different universes. They are all just waiting to be created.
When I am at my day job tapping the keys of my computer part of my mind may be trapping dragons to get to the keys of a prison to rescue some royalty. While I’m driving home I am most likely also involved in an elaborate love affair that will tragically end when I park my car. If I am watching the sunset I am also memorizing the colors in hopes that I could paint it one day.
You see my mind is not a quiet place most of the time, which now I love. It makes my life extraordinary in an ordinary world. This is why I must boldly tell you; I am an artist. I’m sure you already knew that or at least suspected.
A while ago I did record a reading of this monologue. I want to share it with you now.