My Ring

writing

I started to wear a band on my ring finger of my right hand. It is a spinning ring with the following inscribed on the outside, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ” Inside it says, “Philippians 4:13” and “forgiven.”

I almost didn’t get it. I don’t wear jewelry on a regular basis and it’s pretty plan. It’s just a shiny silver band with a slightly less shiny spinning piece on top. That is it. There are no flowers, hearts, crosses, or faces. There is no quirkiness to this ring.

Still I got it as a reminder that God is with me and he is my strength. I also got it as a symbol that I will live my life fully for him.

I ordered it from Amazon in  a size I thought would fit and was really happy when it had arrived. I’m sure you realize by that wording, it did not fit. It was too small. I learned that day that you should not try to it a spinning ring on a finger if the ring is too small. It does not matter how excited and happy you are to have the ring. Do not force it to go on. I did not have fun trying to twist off the ring with it spinning instead.

I returned it and got a size bigger. This was a good thing, so even though it’s a bit big, even though it’s a bit plan, and even though I do not normally wear jewelry there has not been a day that I haven’t put this ring on.

I wear it as a reminder each day that God is with me and that I can lean on him.It’s also great as a fidget tool, so that I can focus on the ring instead of nerves or loosing my train of thought.

It is true that I don’t normally wear jewelry, but this ring goes on when my glasses do and stays on all day. It is becoming as needed as my glasses, too. It calms me and reminds me of my strength.

Thank you for reading and that is all about my ring.

Elevation

elevation

After my layover chat with the Mormons I realized I never write in detail about my church. I love it yet I’ve never wrote about it. It is so unique, authentic and loving that I believe our story should be told.

The story of Elevation has to start with the pastor, Chuckk (yes, spell check it has 2 k’s). I believe his openness to share his past, personality, and love is the reason everyone involved with the church feels safe to share and be themselves. It is a beautiful thing when a group of people can be authentically themselves as they journey towards a personal relationship with God the creator.

When there are no wall or barriers to break through you can then start to learn and grow with people on the same journey as you.

Chuckk’s wife, Andrea, of course needs to be spoken about. She is there every week setting up environment and loving people. She is encouraging and a strong Christian woman. She has become my mentor and one of the ladies who I look up to. She leads by example and makes sure everyone feels welcomed into our church.

I could go on about ever single person that is important to the church but that would fill a book and I am not up for that right now. I would most likely forget to mention the middle school leader or the grumpy guitarist. I’ll just leave talking about each awesome person for another post. Or maybe it would be another series.

I really want to focus on what makes Elevation, Elevation.  The people are what is important and what gives Elevation the unique feeling but that is not the only thing. People where I start when I think about Elevation.

We believe that Church is not about the building or even the weekly service. The Church is the people who make up the community of believers we hang out with. And most do hang out either after service, during the week, or at random events. It seems like lately there are a bunch of events that people are going to and inviting other members. Elevation also organizes events, because we know that there is only so much that can be learned from Chuckk and it takes community to really grow and help others grow.

We do have service each week which is important. This is where we can worship and learn about God from a smart dude who very obviously knows God and has a deep relationship with him.

We also get to express our love for God through music which, Jeremy leads. He is also a pretty great dude. I mean he was willing to leave his home in Colorado to move to an un-churched area for the worship leader position that can only pay him as a part-time position. If that isn’t trusting God I’m not positive what is. HE also has a wonderful talent for finding great musicians.

The skill of musical people and other creative people are part of the culture of Elevation. This is also one reason I fit into this church. We are weird creative people who love God.

The mission statement of Elevation is, “Elevation exists to worship God, reach the unconvinced and together grow to be more like Jesus.” The 7 guiding values are, “Scripture-centric Teaching, Cultural Relevance, Missional Living, Engaging Worship, Authentic Community, Transformed Lives, and Focused Simplicity”

Oh yeah and we must be cool because we meet at a night club/ bar. You see we believe the actual locations doesn’t matter. We just need a space to meet in regularly. Plus, more people may feel alright going to a night club and not a cathedral or other church building.

For more information about my amazing Church you can go to Elevation’s website.

Let me know if you have any questions about Elevation or church in general; and all feedback is welcomed.

Who For?

poetry

Who do I do this for?
Who will win from my hard work?
Who will smile as I undress,
displaying my wonderfully curvy body?
Me, the answer is me.

I will win,
I will smile
and I am doing this for me.

I do not strive,
I do not fight,
I do not struggle
not for anyone,
except me and God.

If I do not do this for me,
then it is for God.
If I do not win,
then it is for God.
If I do not smile,
then I lost sight of God.

Who is all this for?
It is for me,
but if not me than for God.

DreamWard Bound With Where I am

success

I took some time today to figure out where I am with my goals, what I am doing, and what I can change. I know that I don’t want to push myself too much. I don’t want to burn out like I did before Christmas. I do want to keep on keeping on with them. I do want to work towards my goals, challenging myself as I do.

I realized that for now I need to have a more relaxed format and although I will be trying to do more and more as time goes on I am only going to do a little with each category of my life that I want to focus on.

With God and the Bible I have been listening to an audio Bible instead of reading it. I allow myself to relax and have even fallen asleep listening to it. I know this is not ideal, but at least I am listening and going through the Bible. Now when I try to read it I will at least have some knowledge of all the books. I am also starting to listening to two podcasts on my way to work. At least I am trying to start listening to the podcasts, but technology is fighting against me.

Next, I did have a goal about my family. I want to talk to them more. I realized though, I want stronger relationships with everyone in my life. That is why I am going to still try to contact my family members at least once a week, something that I still have not mastered, but I am also going to be intentional with the people around me. I going to try to encourage my BJJ classmates more, help my friends, and talk to people more. I am going to try to be intentionally more friendly and more open.

As far as my novel goes I am going to be focusing the most sit down alone time to that. I want to keep my deadline and to do that I have to edit 1.5 chapters a week. I am planning to spend most of this weekend with my characters and story. Hopefully I will be able to polish it up nicely and only have to go over it one or two more times. I want to be finishing up with it this time next year.

My health is next on the important scale. Since I have started Brazilian Jit Jitsu I have found a want and almost need to be healthier. I want to push myself harder to be healthy in my eating and activities. I am not going to jump right over to the super healthy side of things. If I do that I will wind up giving into the not healthy eating patterns that I fall into so often. Instead I will start gradual and listen to my body. I will be eating more salads and vegetables. I am also doing a 100 day exercise  challenge, which I mentioned in another post.  I did revise the challenge, since I did not have enough space to safely do any sort of rolls. As it is I have to reset my shrimps and hip switches at least 3 times. I am doing the challenge though. I am at day 15, so far. My fitness and health will be steps towards being in the best shape that I can be. It will be a long journey, but I am on it.

Now, there is my acting. It is on the back burner and I am not really focused on it as a career or really an actionable goal at the moment. However, that does not mean I am doing nothing with it. I am still going to my improv group almost weekly. I have had to take a few weeks off in this new year. It seemed like I was either sick or burnt out by Thursday. I am getting back in the rhythm of life it seems, though. I am even leading a group this coming week. Since, this is my only outlet for acting I will be intentional with it. I am going to focus on growing my skills, learning more about improv and hopefully leading when needed.

Finally, there is this blog thing that I am trying to do, also. I love writing and seeing people visiting what I wrote. I enjoy the feedback, even if it is mostly just likes. I am learning what people like to read and what is the most interesting to them. I am also learning what pulls them in and how what I say affects the stats of the site. This blog is a learning experience for me just as much as it is about the writing and making me focused on my writing.  Although I am learning and enjoying having this outlet, like I said last week I believe, I need to not have this be my main focus. I will be trying to do at least two posts every week, one being the DreamWard Bound posts and the other being my weekly writing prompt posts, that have been a lot less than weekly.

Those are all the thoughts I have now. I know this post is longer than my recent posts. I am sure I will go back to basically having no updates next week. It is the whole thinking about my DreamWard journey, that makes this one long.

I do hope you enjoyed this and like always, please, let me know what you think.

World Away (A letter)

 

 

 

I normally try to keep the topic of God to my other blog (Salty Light Project), but in hopes that this reaches those who are in great struggle, because of their faith and that they live in a country that does not allow them to believe in the same God that so many take for granted, I am putting this here. 

I hope you are moved by this and if you have any questions or comments, please let me know.
writing

Dear friends, brothers, those who live in a world far away yet pursuing the same truths. To those who are tortured and beaten because they love.

I can do little, but I will pray. I am only one person, but your story has traveled across the world to me. If I can I will help,because no matter what we are made up of the same substances. We both have skin to cover our muscles. We both have eyes to see the world and both have ears to hear the truth. If nothing else is similar we are both humans and we both deserve to love and live in the truth of the world.

I am be only one, but I have a voice and this is me saying I will pray for your bones not to break and for your heart to stay strong. I will pray your soul finds peace in the turmoil and that your spirits stay strong. They can break your bones but not your soul. They can make your life a horrible nightmare with no end, but when you wake up from the nightmare you will be in paradise. Keep that thought, friend, in your mind.

You may live through terrifying ordeals with unending pains, but the life you have to live is not your whole story. You may be broken down and even killed but as long as your soul stays firm on the firm foundation which you planted it on you, dear brother, will last forever.

Please, know that you are loved, you are strong, and you are not alone. Even if the only ones that stand by your side is a random girl across the world and God, you do not stand alone. You are being prayed for. You are strengthening my faith and my prayer life. I know it’s not much, but your strength is strengthening others. Stay strong and know you are not alone. You are being prayed for.

Sincerely,

a sister in faith.

Wind me up (Song as Poetry)

poetry

Song

A Song is an expression of a poet’s personal emotions, meant to be sung. Lyrics in a song contain verses (lines that make up a song; sung poem) and a chorus (a repeating verse in a song {a refrain}.)

Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

Oh, I want to live for you;
follow the path laid out.
I want to run with you
and keep on going,
but where did you go.

It’s like you
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

I know you are here
I know you are waiting for me
to see you where you stand.
You lead me so mercifully
and I am yours.
These things I know.

Still I feel like you
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I;m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

Maybe it’s me
maybe I lose sight of all you are
That seems more correct by far
That I stray and look away
I run and run right pass you.

Yes, I
Wind me up and let me go
turn me around so watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around so watch the show

Wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show
’cause I am here then I’m there
never knowing which way to go
So wind me up and let me go
turn me around and watch the show

Voice

writing

Why do I have a voice and where does it come from? Am I just a person going through the world, doing what I want and saying whatever comes to my mind? No, the answer has to be no. I am more than just a stranger with no message. I am more than a blank face in the crowd. I want to stand out in the seas of the world and declare I am not normal. I am not just a yapping dog trying to get scraps of attention. I am not simply a girl wanting to better myself.

So Why do I have a voice? Where does it come from? I  have a voice to shine love on everyone. I have a voice to encourage and show others that they can reach for the stars. They can do everything they want to, because they are breathing. I have a voice to share my story. And I have a voice to shout my love.

Where does it come from? My voice comes from being able to breathe, from being alive. It comes from God above who has taught me what true love is. My voice comes from the God who has given me breath and life.  It comes from the people around me who tell me that I do indeed have this voice and lifts me up to be all that I was meant to be. My voice comes from far deeper than I let on.

If there is a reason for my voice and I have things I want to say with it, and since it comes from the greatest being ever to live, than why don’t I use it? Why do I blend into the crowd of the world and act like a yapping dog begging for attention? Why do I not stand up and declare “You are loved! You can be all that you want to be!”

You will be seeing changes from me.

Crumble Down (a poem)

poetry

When I build me up
I crumble down
and feel nothingness surround.
When I build me up
I forget to stand
and fall to the earth’s sand.
Crumbling and falling
I can not survive
Forgetting you breath
forgetting you live inside.
My strength and hope
my way and life.
I forget
I crumble down
so you can stand out
I do not stand on the sand
because you push me to your rock.

I will remember to crumble down
only to your will,
so that your love with stand.
I will stand aside
knowing you are my rock
so that your hope will shine bright.

Yes, I will crumble down
be pushed aside,
so love, hope and mercy can survive.

 

I have realized lately that I have felt this weird crumbling emotion towards my life, as if I am not in control of my life. I know I am not in complete control of my life, but people like to think they are. I want to believe what I am doing with my life means something and that my life is mine. Well, I realized on Sunday at church that the reason I felt lost and a crumbling of myself in my life is because since I am a follower of Jesus my life is not my own. I love Jesus and have given my life to him. This means I work  with the gifts and talents God has given me to spread his love, hope and truth. 

I started to write this poem (in my mind) as  an expression of  loosing myself and not feeling right. As I actually wrote it down though, I realized why I had that feeling and turned it into a poem for God.

I hope you enjoy this and please let me know what you think.

Tears (a monologue)

I’m going to try something new with my youtube channel when I get back from vacation. I will do more original things, like poetry readings, short storytelling, original monologues and maybe even scenes. You will my blog followers will get to read my stuff first and I will be reading the poems that get the most likes per week.

That being said the first original monologue that I will be doing when I get back is title “Tears.” I am hoping to put together an entire script with these different monologues, but I have to start some where, so here you go.

I broke down in tears today. I know you saw. I know you heard. I was praying to you to mend my broken and stressed heart. I was praying for a fix that would happen quick, when you whispered, “the work already has started and I already am doing my part.”

What more can I do? What more do you want, Lord? I cried out in pain, what is my part and where do I fit in? I am lost, angry, and tired of waiting around. Waiting for my real journey to begin. And I know you must have laughed at that because although I didn’t hear you over my crying and doubt I know you said my journey had already begun at the very start.

Look at how far you brought me, while I kicked and screamed. You carried me when I fought you, like a screaming baby all the way. You have great plans for me, or so I hear. They’re plans I do not see, so I scream. Yet, you will never let go of my heart even when I try to push you away.

My soul is a cranky child but you are always patient.I want the sugar and sweets of the world but you have given me the ability to reason instead. I never want to quit playing my own games but you put me to bed so I can rest. I want it all but you show me how. Yes, you show me myself and my life, past, present and future, when my tears come screaming out. So I thank you with dried tears under my eyes.

Stated Song: You Lead

This weeks Stated Song is You Lead, which was written by Jaime Grace and recorded on the album “One Song at a Time” in 2011 under Gotee Records. The video associated with this song is at http://youtu.be/JFmSzL2ppvg.

I really love this song because it is about some one who needs God to take the reigns of her life. This is something that I’m trying to do. I want him to lead me into a life that he wants me to have. I also feel like I started wandering, so doing this song this week was my continual prayer for the week.

Now the lyrics that I was working off are

 

 

I’ve got waves that are tossin’ me,
Crashin’ all over my beliefs,
And in all sincerity, Lord,
I wanna be yours,
So pull me out of this mess I’m in,
Cause I know I’m wanderin’
Lead my soul back home again,
I’ve always been yours,

And this world may push, may pull,
But your lovin’ never fails,

You lead, I’ll follow, Your hands hold my tomorrow,
Your grip, Your grace, You know the way,
You guide me tenderly,
When you lead, I’ll follow,
Just light the way and I’ll go,
Cause I know what you got for me is more than I can see,
So lead me on.

As a child I heard your voice,
But as a girl I made my choice,
There is no other way for me,
I’m devoted to you,
You’re my peace on the heavy days,
You’re the warmth of an autumn blaze,
Your love carries me away,
And it’s never too soon.

Sometimes when I wake up, I don’t wanna rise up, Out of my bed, to many thoughts in my head,
Don’t wanna be who I used to be,
Gonna take the back seat and let you lead,
So lead me on.
And I need to stop,
Cause I’m going too fast,
And I know my God is still God, And you got my back,

Of course if you watch and listen you’ll hear that I changed them up a bit.

I really hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know what you think.