Not For you

poetry

I just found an interesting top search for this blog, so will be doing a poem inspired by, “may be am not the one for you .”

Maybe I am not the one for you.
Maybe you are not the one for me.
Maybe you are nothing but a dream,
wanting me to wake.
Yet, I open my eyes and see your face.
You are standing right in my happy place.
You showed me it and told me to come.
Yet, you are not the one.

My one will come
and I did wish you were him.
Now, I wish I did not make that wish.
I know you do not see the possibility,
so maybe I am not the one for you
and maybe you’re not the one for me.
Yet, I wished the wish
and it’s now flying on the stars.
I can not reel it back in,
even though I try.

You opened my eyes,
and now I can’t stop dreaming.
You welcomed me in to your happy place
and it became my mine.
Still, maybe you are not the one for me.
Maybe I am not the one for you.

You know it’s really interesting, when I see something on the search and  it winds up being something I needed to write. So, thank you who ever searched for that.

Can I? A Poem

poetry

Can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
Will I then be alright?
Will that then calm my heart
or could this just be the start?
All evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
Life and the world
is saying turn away
but my heart is saying no.
No to taking a step back,
no to giving up before it starts,
no to doing what is smart.
Yet, if I call you
I wouldn’t know what to say.
If I heard your voice
mine would run away
and I would be helpless
if your laugh was brought from far away.

Can I call you up,
before anything really starts?
Can I hear your voice,
some how see your face?
Can I tell you that
your mind seems so brilliant,
your strength seems so foreign
and your smile is so enticing?
Can I share with you
my thoughts and how I see you?
One of which is you as
my ideal which frightens me,
a strange tough work of art
that makes me want to inspect more,
but when I get to close
I must turn away,
because your eyes
they seem so knowing
so frightfully knowing
and prefect.

Can I call you up,
before I know what to say?
Can I hear your voice,
even if you are not on my list?
You are not the person,
that my created wish list created.
You only have the needed traits,
the non-negotiable and absolutely needed parts.
What about the goofiness,
and where is the sense of humor?
How can you seem so great,
but lack the lightness I seek?
How would you fit in my family,
when you are not even a little crazy?
You see you are too sane
to be my ideal.
You are too put together
to have me by your side.
No, see you don’t have the things
I have said I don’t need,
so you must not be the one for me.

Still can I call you up,
before I take a step back?
Can I hear your voice,
hear you laugh?
I want to even though,
all evidence is pointing
the wrong way.
I want to because you seem to be
my ideal which frightens me.

 

I wrote this on November 29, 2014 to help me with a crush. I saved it for a bit of time, so that it would not be so fresh when I published it. Since now I have started the process of getting over this crush I feel like I can now publish this work of art. 

I hope you enjoy.

I Am A Bagel

writing

I have weird friends and I hope this will make them smile.

I am a bagel. My eyes are black olive stuck by toothpicks into my bagel head. My tongue is cream cheese. My legs and arms are pretzels.

“How do you talk?” “How can you type?” “How can you write?” “Why do you talk so very much?” “What is life like for a bagel like you?” These are the questions that I am continuously asked as I walk around with herbs for my hair.

I was riding in the car talking, enjoying the conversation between me and my friends when out of the blue for no reason I could tell the one in the passenger seat yelled, “Shut up! You’re a bagel.”

I was quite shocked and did not know how to react. I indeed was a bagel, but that had not stopped me from talking before. “Why?” I quietly asking hoping that I would not anger him more.

He simply laughed and laughed. Soon he was able to speak. “You’re a talking bagel.” He spoke as if he did not realize for the years we were friends that I was bagel who could not only talk but also walk and live an almost normal life.

“Yes, and,” was my reply all the while the drive sat quiet listening in on the short conversation.

He was amused by the realization that a bagel was talking to him, “How do you talk?”

I could not help but smirk as I answered, “With my mouth and with my tongue.”

“You are a bagel, though.”

“Yes, and you are human.”

The driver finally chirped in and said, “Seriously just shut up. You’re a bagel.”

With that last statement I kept my mouth shut and allowed the humans to talk as I sat in the back simply being a bagel.

Blessed (A Poem)

poetry

I work all day
run errands on my free days
and I am blessed.
I see the benefits of my striving
I the fruits of my labor.

I walked down the warm beach
with the setting sun
giving off the warm happy light
telling every creature that they are loved.
I see animals playing
people loving
and families growing closer together.
I am blessed.

What did I do to earn
the beauty of the sun reflecting on the sea,
the warm crisp scene
being painted by the sun, sand and rocks
the smiling strangers who stay
and those who happily jog on by.
What could I have done
to see the sheer beauty of cliffs
as the sun turns the ordinary into a master piece
earth is a work of art
and so clearly seen
when the sun starts to hug the horizon
and glistens off the sea.
I am blessed.

I am so blessed
to be able to see
appreciating all the wonders around
and live in a world so beautiful
being able to feel warmth
and notice love.
I am so blessed
to be able to live my life.

DreamWard Bound on 10/18/2014

success

This week was a productive week for me and it showed with my views, both here and on YouTube. I still have work to do to meet all my weekly goals and I am far from the daily habits I want to make, but I am getting there.

Let’s get what I did not do out of the way. It is the same as most weeks. I did not read my Bible, which I should be doing. I want to but I just never do. I did not paint, although that is not a goal of mine any more, the note that is tapped on my bookshelf says differently. I also did not work on my novel. I may today, but I am not sure. I will not be pressuring myself to do much today. I was crazy productive and this is my only day this week when I won’t be running around.

As far as my goal focused on talking with my family goes, I have communicated with them. I still want to talk more and strengthen our relationships more, but I am noticing an increase in communication and I am feeling more connected to them.

I worked out for half an hour at least every day except for Wednesday and Friday this week, those two days I just could not get to the gym because I was busy with work stuff. Friday was fun work stuff though. I was in a Hacker Kombat, which is a capture the flag style hacking battle. It was fun but meant that I was exhausted by the time I got home.

I did post a Goal Getter video on the channel on Monday. One person watched it, but I did get another subscriber to that channel. I am thinking that I will finish all the steps and tips that I have already recorded. If the channel is still not getting views I will nod my head and walk away from it. Until then, though, I will keep on keeping on with posting the videos.

Now, you may have noticed that I also posted a five of creative writing posts. I also posted a few words on the last acting video I did, since it was a Stated Song and wanted to explain why I did it. The write-up was a fast little writing thing though, I am not counting it towards my creative writing posts. Still, I did write five creative writing posts, which is my goal for each week. I really liked how most of them came out too. You should take a look at them. All the links will be at the end of this post.

I also, got to post two videos to my creative YouTube channel. One was the Stated Song that I felt I had to do. The other video that I posted was answering a question I found, that I think every actor should be able to answer. I will be posting more of those types of videos in the future. I enjoyed answering the questions and feel like I should. Also, it will tell whoever watches my videos a bit more about who I am.

I believe that is all I did this week. I wrote, posted videos and competed in Hacker Kombat at my work. Here is the list of all that (minus the Hacker Kombat, there is no link for that.),

Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (Video)

What type of Projects Do I want To Work On? (Video)

Goal Getters Step 4 (Video)

Stop (A Poem)

A Scene Inspired by Supernatural (Fan Fiction)

Play On (A Poem)

Words On Stated Song: I Want To Be Something (a write-up)

A Poem from Top Searches (… A Poem)

Beach Dream (A short story)

Wow, that is 9 things from these past 7 days that I did. I will say it again I was productive this week.

Words about this past Stated Song video

I realized the other day that I have not mentioned anything about my videos with the exception that I am still doing them.

This past weekend I did another Stated Song, instead of a traditional monologue. Stated Songs are the least viewed videos on my channel and I basically do them for myself. I will be doing more monologues next week. However, I felt like I needed to do it, partly because I already had it Queued up in my mind to do it and partly because it is exactly where I am right now.

The song that I turned into a monologue was “I Want To Be Something,” by Weezer. I really like Weezer’s music, which you can by the fact that this is my second video using their songs as a monologue. The first one being “The Other Way”

I hope you like it and please let me know what you think.

Also, The song  “I Want To Be Something” was written and performed by Weezer. It appears on the band’s album Hurley which was released in 2010. Although there is no music video there is a recording of this song on YouTube here :http://youtu.be/a_m4SlbUujA and the band’s channel is https://www.youtube.com/user/WeezerVEVO . The band’s website is http://www.weezer.com/.

DreamWard Bound (September 13th to 20th)

success

I am realizing more and more that there are no normal weeks. I feel like every week is different from the one before it. I am always changing and always learning. It seems that in life’s journey you are always tweaking what you are doing, so that you can do it better.

Now, that I got that bit of philosophy out I will tell you what I actually did this week. Hopefully I will stay on topic, since I am pretty tired.

Monday was a real great day. I got home earlier than normal, went to the gym, wrote some poems and edited a video for my new channel. I also posted that video onto said channel.

Tuesday was a friend hang out night, so I skipped the gym and the work. Instead I hung out with my friends and even cuddled with the baby in the group. To clarify, he is an actual baby, who is the son of one of my friends.

Wednesday was another gym day with a more relaxed writing/ work schedule. I had a late dinner thanks to my roommate, who actually made it. I was just going to go with canned soup, but instead I got an amazing meal.

On Thursday my focus was on acting, since I had my improv group, which I actually led this week. It was a crazy day at work and had to rush to the group, but I went and did some improv. After it was over though, I had no energy for anything else, so went to bed early.

Friday I got my nerd on and played Dungeons and Dragons with my friends. I stayed later and had fun relaxing. There was not much to tell from that night though.

Now, I wrote most of this post early because I thought I would have time to finish it up on Saturday. I was going to wake up early and write, but since I was up so late I slept in. I wound up waking up and going straight to the beach. I was in charge of holding a fire pit for my church. I almost finished this before going, thankfully wanting to get there before all the pits were taken won out. When I got there only one fire pit remained. I even got asked multiple times if it was taken for the entire day. Two people asked if they  could share, but with the group size and timing the first one could not. The second group was able to share though and I got a free lobster out of it. I will explain more about that in a short story later in the week.

The holding the fire pit for the entire day is why I am a day late. Still, I am keeping you up to date and writing you this post. I hope you enjoy it. Here is a list of things  I did this week.

Introduction To Goal Getters (A video)

Greek Yogurt (A Poem)

The Sun is Shining (A Poem)

World Away (A Letter)

 

you not me (Poem)

poetry
Can you?
Do you?
Will you?
because I can’t.
I won’t.

I won’t be the first to say,
no not even now.
I can’t tell you,
so will you?
I believe you know how.

Do you want to?
Do you know how?
If you do,
please let me know.

I know I’m vague
I know I’m saying nothing
that’s why you have to,
so will you?
Please, tell me
what I want to hear.

Can you?
Do you?
Will you?
because I can’t.
I won’t.

Stay (A Poem)

poetry

Can I give you strength?

Will you run away

If I tell you I love you

If I build you up

will you stay?

How can I help you

How can I help you grow

If I do what will happen

If I lend a helping hand

Will you show me that you care?

I really do hope I can help

I really do hope you will stay.